My Precious Mitou Options

[jbmiller]

I'm hoping for some cyber support to help me get through what are probably the last days of my precious tiny almost 20 year old (on July 16) Siamese, Mitou. Her kidneys are failing we know because of a blood test but until she stopped eating last Sunday (except if I hand feed her a little turkey) she seemed to be feeling ok. She's constipated, is losing weight, her back legs are wobbly and she sometimes loses her balance but I don't know if she's in pain. I don't know if it is easier for her to let nature take it's course or to take her to the vet. I have a call in to the vet and am waiting to hear back. We've had 17 wonderful very loving years together and I want to do the right thing. Please help me with some insights. Thank you. Judy

[LS Support]

20 years is about the limit for even the strongest kitty. for some reason, i have come across the oldest cats who most happen to be siamese. must be a strong lineage somewhere along the line.

it all comes down to quality of life. if a pet can no longer walk, eat, sleep, is in pain, or cannot properly eliminate, it is time to consider next steps to take. Mitou will thank you for your compassion. if not now, when you meet again.

[Kim R.]

it all comes down to quality of life. if a pet can no longer walk, eat, sleep, is in pain, or cannot properly eliminate, it is time to consider next steps to take

This is the best way to sum it up, really. Our pets rely on us to do what is best for them...no matter what the sacrifice on our part. If your kitty no longer enjoys life at this point(especially at her age with kidney failure), it will probably only get worse as time passes, so there is nothing at all wrong with helping her to the bridge when you see fit. The way I look at it is if we know they will only be getting worse from this point on, keeping them alive just to have their last days be more miserable than necessary isn't doing them any favors. At that point, we are only holding on to them for our own sake and that isn't kind.

She's constipated, is losing weight, her back legs are wobbly and she sometimes loses her balance but I don't know if she's in pain

These are all symptoms of the kidney failure. The wobbly legs and loss of balance are contributed to the kidneys no longer ridding the body of the toxins as they are supposed to, so it causes some neurological problems as those toxins effect the brain. Those symptoms can come and go in their level of severity depending on how hydrated the body is at the time, etc., but ultimately, at that point in a kitty's life, they are usually not having much fun and feel pretty miserable overall.
Euthanasia is all a matter of opinion as to when it is the best decision. As a vet tech, I have seen far too many people let their babies suffer horribly trying to keep them alive for as long as possible, and it breaks my heart everytime. If the animal isn't gaining anything from the treatment, such as showing signs of feeling better, than it is selfish to make them stay. I might also add that it is almost always, in the case of kidney failure, much more kind to help them over to the bridge than it is to let nature take its course. It is a horrible death for them to face in the end....mother nature can be very cruel.
I know when it came time for me to make that decision for my girl, I really needed to have someone tell me that it was okay. That it didn't mean that I didn't love her (just the contrary, really), and that it didn't mean that I had failed her as a mommy because I couldn't fix her. I felt as though I was betraying her, it just didn't feel right to try so hard to keep her with me for all those years and then turn around and take that life I had fought so hard for....in the end, it's part of what we signed up for. You obviously love your kitty very much...17 years worth (and seeing her to the age of 20) says it all...and you will only be proving that love to make such a sacrifice of your own heart to spare her any further suffering. It sounds as if you know her time with you here is coming to an end regardless of what you do, so I'm telling you now...it's okay to spare her the suffering and let her go..
Your friend in grief,
Kim

[Phinny1]

Give her the last best gift of your love and that is letting her go. Reading the symptoms clearly indicate it's time. As Kim indicated people tend to hold on, making the selfish decision of making their companion stay around.


Take care -

Chris

[BooBoo's Mom]

And you would be releasing her to a wonderful place where she will be so happy and at peace. And you WILL see her again too.

[megsmom]

I totally agree with Kim (am a vet tech as well). I know it's hard to let go, but you don't want your last memories to be of misery and wondering if you waited too long. It's a lot more common for people to feel really guilty about waiting too long than doing it too early.
Cats will hang on for your sake and just wait for you to tell them that it's ok to let go.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I lost my 18 year old cat a few years ago. I grew up with him and he felt like my little brother.

[Cleo 1]

I had to have my precious cat put to sleep on May 8th, she was 22 and 4 months old and she had kidney failure.
She had all the symtoms you are describing and we had to let her go to her rest and do what was best for her.
She was a wonderful much loved baby who had a long long happy life and I miss her every day, but it was the right decision to make for her she deserved a peaceful death as she had given us so much in life.
My thoughts are with you.

Cleo 1

[ccheyssial]

I agree with everyone as I had to have my cat euthanized this week. I knew it was time. I feel that we know when it is their time because they are connected to us and they let us know. My Chestnut let me know by stopping eating also. It is a difficult decision but I think you know in your heart when it is time. Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going and how you are doing. This is a wonderful forum full of wonderful people who care deeply for their pets. You are not alone.

Chestnut's mommy (Catherine)

[jbmiller]

Friends:
Thank you. Without your support and wise advice I don't know if I would have had the courage to do what was best for Mitou. When I called the vet on Friday morning, before registering and posting on this site, it was to ask if there was anything I could do to help her feel better. When she called back at 7 that night and after hearing from all of you, I knew what I had to do and after briefly considering waiting until Monday so we could have the weekend together, made an appt for 9 on Saturday morning and she was euthanized. I don't have to tell you how wrenching and painful that was. I realize now that although I knew I had to do what was best for my little girl, what I really wanted was to keep her with me. The signs were there but I didn't want to see them---on Thursday when she tried to jump on the bed and fell, not on her feet but on her side, when she would turn her head away when I tried to hand feed her some turkey, when she couldn't always find a comfortable position to lie in, when last week she came over to me and sat down next to me on the bed and put both her front paws on my hand. (Was she asking me to help her?) We had a long and very close relationship and I'll always lover her and miss her . I know she's at peace now. I can't seem to stop crying. Again, thank you. Judy

[Kim R.]

Judy,
I am crying with you because I know just how very hard it is to make such a difficult decision when it comes to a beloved furbaby. I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your dear friend, but I am so glad that you had the courage to do so. Although you did what was best for her, I know you are hurting so deeply and that you miss her so much already...I am so sorry for that pain, I wish I could take it away, but I can't. This pain we feel when our furbabies leave us is a testiment to just how much we love them, and it is a pain I know we would all gladly feel again if given the chance to do it all over. Come here as often as you need to, and expect the roller coaster of emotions to come. You may find some comfort in reading the poem I have at the bottom of my post (the tribute link) which is also fitting for your situation, and the rainbow bridge link I have there as well.
Know that I am thinking of you..
Your friend in grief,
Kim

[Emily's Mom]

I know exactly what you are going thru because I had to go thru the same thing this past May with Emily. Making this decision is never easy however, our babies rely on us to do what's best for them.
Emily had the same exact symptoms only she was a little farther along when she was diagnosed. She also was losing her balance and couldn't jump either but she did jump up on the couch with me once, laid down next to me and put her head in my lap and looked at me with those big sad eyes, at the time I didn't make the connection but it was only a couple of weeks later I had to make the decision.
That's why I truly believe that Mitou was asking for your help when she put her paws in your hand.
The pain and grief that goes along with having to put our babies down is heartbreaking. The emotional roller coaster that we all go thru is at times unbearable, it hurts and you don't think you're going to survive but you will.
Please know that you are among friends here and everyone here has been thru or is going thru the same thing you are.
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.