Watching Video Of Deceased Pet... Options

[BooBoo's Mom]

I just wonder what everyone feels when they watch videos of their deceased pets. In my case, I just stare in wonder at the screen and feel like it's all a dream that never really happened. I feel like that when I look at photos too. I just get kind of frustrated with memories and all that, because they are too abstract and like they never really happened. So it's not really a comfort to me to watch videos or look at photos.

[Juanita]

Dear Boo-Boo's Mom,
How coincidental that I would come back to this forum after a while away and find your 7/3 post about watching videos. Yesterday, 7/3, I viewed a video that I'd made of Spike in November. Unfortunately, it was made to show my vet and Spike's neurologist that his ability to walk and nagivate was failing. I shot about 30 minutes over two days of Spike roaming from room.
At that point he was walking the perimiter of the room and close to furniture for balance. He had already become incontinent and was wearing his little bellyband with the pee-pee pad inside. It wasn't a pleasant video made to entertain, but it was the only one every made of Spike.
I made the difficult decision to euthanize him on 5/23 and have been having a really tough time adjusting to life withou thim. I realized I had pitifully few photos and regretted that. So I contacted my vet early last week on the off-chance he still had the video laying around, and he did.
I guess this is a roundabout way of telling you that I feel as you do. I was actually afraid to watch the video, but it wasn't awful...just unreal. I, too, have a hard time recalling memories. In fact, memories of Spike's last days are much more available in my mind that the happy ones. I like to think this is because, during the 12 years we were together, I was really present "in the moment" with him.
I loved my dog very much and enjoyed our time together. Maybe that's why seeing him in photos or the video don't have much of an impact. I know many people are very comforted by such images, but I have not found that to be so. He's not here anymore, and having him back is the only thing that would really comfort me.
Juanita

[5catsmom]

I also don't often look at the pictures of my lost pets either. My family used to joke that I took more pictures of my cats than my kids - I hate to admit it, but it's true. Someday I might find it easier to look at those pictures - not right now, so soon. One real regret I've had in the past 2 weeks since I lost Groucho was that I never did take a picture of him and have to rely on my memory, and I'm truly sad that I have no image of him that one day I can look at. He was feral, but so friendly, and sometimes I worry that I'll forget what he looks like. I can only console myself that one day we'll be together again and I'll see him whenever I want.

[Daisy's Mommy]

Unfortunately we only took three short videos of Daisy and several photographs. I have been unable to watch the videos because just the thought of seeing her alive and doing those little things she did fills me with grief. I am glad to know that the videos are there and I hope that one day I will be able to look at them and see my little girl again.

I miss her so much and still cannot believe she is gone. What wouldn't I give to see her again.

Daisy's Mommy

[Cleveland'sMom]

Oh good Lord, no way can I look at video of Cleveland! He has been gone for 11 days now and I can't fathom seeing running around so full of life knowing he really isn't here anymore. I wish I could, but that will come much, much later.

Everyone finds comfort in different ways. I'm ok with the 2 photo's I have framed in different rooms, but that's about it for now. And if I stare at them for too long I start to cry. All his personal belongings are put away for now. I'll bring them out when I am stronger.

Everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Whatever helps your heart is the way to go. For me, constant reminders around the house are hard on me for the time being. It will surely get better with time.

Cleveland's Mom

[Kim R.]

My videos of Sasha are heaven sent to me. I have several hours worth of video of her and I watch them all the time. I find them very comforting, much more so than photos alone, and I always feel so much closer to her when I watch them. I can't remember when I was able to start watching them after she was gone, it was several months if I had to guess, but now it is a constant to me and I cherish every moment of them. I hope that someday you will be able to find the same level comfort from yours.
Your friend in grief,
Kim

[Phinny1]

I have video of my Rocky taken a few months before he passed, before we knew he was sick. I like to watch it because it helps me to remember him. Even though he just passed in January, I'm already starting to forget how he acted.
I find comfort in watching the video as it is him in his natural state. But really it's a personal decision. In the end I'm so glad I took the video now that he's at the bridge. I can now always "pull him up" and watch when I need a fix.

[BooBoo's Mom]

We have a lot of videos and photos of my dog because he did almost everything with us and went on trips with us. When I look at the videos, I also grieve the loss of those good times, past friends and places, my youth, etc at the same time I am grieving my dog. Life is just full of change. Nothing stays the same and it's just so hard to say goodbye to past things and pets and people.

[Kim R.]

When I look at the videos, I also grieve the loss of those good times, past friends and places, my youth, etc at the same time I am grieving my dog

Ya know, I never really thought about it like that, but I think that is one of the things that makes me sad when I watch them as well. It is such a reminder that those days are gone...forever...and they have taken with them the best times I have ever known.

[megsmom]

I cherish the few videos I have of my Meg. They are like a million little pictures - I can remember how she moved, the funny things she did, watch her give kisses. (Her kisses were soft bites on the face , not licks!) I love to see her alive instead of motionless in pictures. I hope everyone who can't face their videos finds the strength to watch them. They are very therapeutic. The last time most of us saw our babies alive they were in poor condition. It's wonderful to see them filled with life.