Beaner Died Tonight, 3 Cats since May 2004! Options

[mosmommy]

Hi all,
I will keep this short, because we just buried Beaner ( Zack- was his given name).
All of this death and grief, makes one wonder what it is all for. He died of acute colitis at 14 years and 3 months, a condition that first appeared last year, about 2 weeks after Cosmo passed away. After about 6 weeks, and the loss of a few pounds, he recovered and was back to his healthy self by fall. This year, the episode started a month earlier than last time, and I guess, deep down, I was hoping for another recovery. Not this time, not for him, not for me, and not for my other furbabies who will miss him so.
The pain is unbearable, and so is the guilt, as I am sure most of you can relate to. To top it off, my trusted counselor, who has been helping me with my grieving process, will be moving out of state this summer. She is not sure when, I could have one more appointment or 3, noone knows for sure. What will I do now? I just passed my 1 year mark for Mo, and my 2 year mark for Creep, and she was helping me work "through it all", now there is noone that can help- except for you loving souls here at this forum.
I needed to let this out tonight, and now I will go cry.
Thanks for reading, and any insights,
Peace, Love, and Prayers,
Michelle

These are pics of some of my furbabies, as I posted pics of my new baby Wilson over the last 2 weeks, but this is a decent pic of Beaner- We will miss you, anmd love you always.

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