Rough Night Options

[sheltiecalicolov...]

It's been two weeks since I lost Kandy. I have been doing better for the most part, but tonight I am unable to sleep and can't stop crying. I miss everything about her, her eyes, ears, fur, nose, kisses, paws, everything.

I have had lots of nightmares about losing Kirby (my other sheltie) now. He is 3 years older than she was, and acting old. He sleeps next to my bed and I keep waking up to make sure he's still breathing. I can't get the moment out of my head when Kandy stopped breathing. I don't ever want to see that again. Kirby has always been my troublemaker - we used to get complaints from neighbors all the time about his barking, and he used to try to escape a lot. But in the last few years he has turned into a calm, gentle soul, probably in part because we believe he has lost most of his hearing. Sounds used to make him crazy. Now he sleeps and snuggles all the time. I know he misses Kandy too.

I have read so many people's stories about picking up their dog's ashes. I keep thinking that if I have made it through this much, surely I can get through that. But I know I will cry being at the vet without her, and I'm also worried that they will not really be Kandy's remains. How do I know? Has anybody else ever had this fear?

Thanks for letting me vent. I guess it's best to have meltdowns in the middle of the night while the family is sleeping. I wish I could pet Kandy so bad right now!!! I miss her so much...

[deedee]

They keep the ashes separate if you request it. I can understand your concern, though. A lot of thoughts go through the mind in grief. It is such a strong emotion, our minds try to make sense of the pain we feel.

Of course you miss Kandy. Kirby does too. They go through a grieving process as well. Please be good to each other. You can help each other a bit through this painful period.

[Kurbysma]

I had my Kurby cremated and I requested an "individual" cremation. They do "mass" cremation, which is mainly for folks who do not wish to have their pets ashes back and they do individual cremation. I, like you, worried about getting "Kurbys" ashes back. I looked up the place my vet uses on the internet and I didn't see anything negative about them. They sent back a letter of "guarantee" that the ashes that were returned were truely my Kurby's.

The hurt you are feeling right now, you will feel that forever. It only gets easier. It does not go away completely. Trust me. It will be 4 mos tomorrow that I lost my baby and it still feels like today. This kind of hurt is the hurt of "true love" that we had for our babies. If we didn't love them so much, it wouldn't hurt so bad. I am soooo lucky to have been able to love like that. I just wish I could rub him and kiss his little nose one more time.....

I am very sorry for your loss. I hope your pain will ease. Once you get Kandy's ashes home, it may ease some for you. I know once I got Kurby's ashes back, I felt somewhat complete again because at least I knew he was back home where he belonged. I can't pet him or kiss his nose.....but I can kiss his urn every night and tell him I love him.

Tanya
"kurbysma"

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[Best Friend Brew...]

Its been 4 weeks since I lost Brewster and I still cry every day. Just looking at his pictures brings back memories and I too feel like he should be sitting by me keeping me company, or going for walks with me...ect. I know exactly what your going through, but I keep telling myself that I gave him a good life. He was abused when we got him, so he went from being abused to being completely "spoiled"

I too had Brewster creamated. It was hard to pick up his ashes. I cried all the way home as if it was his last ride home. But he is on my curio cabinet watching over us each day. I look at his pictures and his urn everyday. It was initially hard picking him up, but there was that sense of relief that he was finally coming home for good.

It is so nice to know there are people who are willing to help you through your sad times. Your not in it alone. You will have the support here.

-Jeni

[karen424]

Hi Erin....

I know it's hard - each anniversary renews the pain....the first year is the toughest. Just keep giving Kirby all of the love and affection you have been. He needs you and you need him...and Purrina too....

Love,

Karen