Just Like That - She Was Gone, Grief at night Options

[Daisy's Mommy]

Daisy died on April 1, 2006 and I am having trouble sleeping. Each night, as I lay down, I think of her. My latest thought is of her actual death.

She had a congenital liver defect and had lived way past her life expectancy. She was in a what we believed to be a final seizure and I was holding her as the vet helped her leave. What bothers me is that in one second and the most beautiful soul I have ever known was gone - just like that. There was nothing - just silence - there should be something more when someone so wonderful leaves.

Just like it was nothing - in a second - she was gone.

I cannot get over my grief. All I can think is that if I had not known her, she would have still lived and died, but perhaps without as much love and happiness.


Daisy's Mommy

[Kim R.]

{{{{{{Daisy's Mommy}}}}}}}

All I can think is that if I had not known her, she would have still lived and died, but perhaps without as much love and happiness.

This is one thought that you really need to concentrate on. I have no doubt that without you in her life, Daisy would have never known the special kind of love that only you could have given her. Your love and care kept your Daisy alive for some 8+ years beyond what was expected that she may have never seen without you....don't be afraid to give yourself credit for that. It is so easy to say "she would have probably lived that long anyway, it didn't have anything to do with me"...I believe differently.
Your quote hits very close to home for me, and sometimes it is the only thing I can cling to that helps me feel any better. My Sasha came from the animal shelter when she was only 5 weeks old. She had so many problems with her allergies (so severe that we had to do an allergy test on her to try to pin-point the cause) and the results showed that she was allergic to nearly everything! she actually required shots for it for several years...not cheap to say the least! Thankfully after that her immune system kicked in and she was just fine after that...amazing! Then when she was 13 years old, she got very sick. She was throwing up and having severe diarrhea. When we took her in to the vet her bloodwork wasn't good at all. They said that as high as her levels were, at her age it was probably pancreatic cancer and the kindest thing to do would be to put her to sleep. I couldn't accept that. I made an appointment at the university (UGA) for a second opinion. We drove a long way, but after a battery of tests, ultrasounds, etc., they concluded that it was just a severe case of pancreatitis and that she would recover...she lived for 3 more years after that. I loved when the Vet at UGA said "I wish that my fellow vets would learn that age isn't a disease!" Of course he was referring to the other vet just assuming it was cancer and thought I should put her to sleep just because she was old! Twice I went above and beyond what I believe most other owners would have done to save her! She started out a pouond puppy with no certain future. She could have been adopted by someone that would have just thrown her in the yard...put her to sleep because of all of the skin problems she had, or when she got sick, but I thank God every day that he sent her to me and I really am proud of what a wonderful life I provided for her...I have no regrets in regard to that.
I'm so sorry... I just realized that I was rambling on...I wasn't trying to take over your post here, I guess sometimes we all need to just 'get it out', ya know? I really hope that you can find peace in knowing what a wonderful life your Daisy had because of you...she was as lucky to have you as you were to have her and I know that she wouldn't have had it any other way.....
Love,
Kim