A New Cat, after Spike Options

[marion]

First of all, thank you to all who replied to my "My Cat Spike" post. Sorry I didn't reply earlier, but I've been away on holiday for 2 weeks.

It's now 3 weeks ago since I took Spike to the vets to be cremated. When I came back from my holiday I went to the cattery to see if I would see another cat I liked - living on my own, the house is far too quiet, I'd got so used to having some kind of life around the place. I did actually see another cat, who was really in my face like Spike when I got him; he seemed to be saying "pick me, pick me!" It wasn't quite the same as with Spike - that's maybe because Spike was my first ever pet; but there was definitely a "click". Also, this time it was a toss-up between Benji and another cat, Frisky, whereas with SPike there was no contest, it was love at 1st sight.

I'm rambling here, don't quite know why I'm writing - well, maybe I do. I think I'm still grieving for Spike, although my head tells me it is 3 weeks ago and I should not be feeling so wobbly anymore. But to tell you the truth it's really shaken my view of life. I always tend to try to trust in the Universe, but still have a hard time getting my head around WHY this had to happen. I trusted my cat to be OK, and he wasn't, with the result that I myself feel much less safe and protected than before, and actually feel afraid of lots of things at the moment, seeing the potential for accidents and death in everything. Morbid, eh? Is this a normal part of the process, or am iI weird? I'm also very jumpy and hypersensitive and still expect Spike to be around when I come in from work. I still can't believe it happnened.

Also, I feel a bit guilty that so soon after Spike's death, and while I am probably still grieving for him, I am getting a new cat. Part of me feels that I'm not honouring Spike's memory sufficiently. Then again, I will NEVER forget Spike, or the shock and pain of losing him, but that should not mean I never get another cat. The new cat , Benji, seems to be quite similar to Spike in character, and even in looks, although Benji has some white on him, unlike Spike, who was all black. It's almost like I need someone's, whoever's (Spike's?) approval for getting the new cat. Am I betraying SPike by getting Benji so early on? Some people say that a new cat will help me to heal the wounds around Spike's death, others say honour Spike's memory. I feel I am ready, but that maybe I shouldn't be ready, that's a good way to put it.

Sorry to ramble. I'm a bit longwinded sometimes.

Marion

[Saki & Freyj...]

Hi, Marion,

I am so so sorry for you loss of Spike. Please do not tell yourself that Spike was just a cat. He of course was much much more than that, and you need to give yourself time to grieve.

As for getting another cat -- are you sure you are ready???? That is an oft-asked question here, and there is no set time: a day, a week, a month, a year... I got a new dog 6 weeks after Freyja passed; I got new cats a week after Lec passed... it is very individual. But three weeks is quick. Maybe you need a bit more time --???

As for dishonoring Spike by getting new pets... no, that is not how it works. What happened with Spike is that you learned a little bit about loving unconditionally (as humans, we never quite perfect this). And if Spike taught you that, then Spike is happy about it. It hurts a lot to risk the pain, and if you are willing to go through that pain again in order to give a new cat a loving home, then Spike could not be more proud of himself for that.

Love,
Jennifer

[CATTYBIRD]

Hi. Don't feel guilty for getting a new cat so soon after Spike's death. After my cat died in Feb. I got two cats three days afterwards. Yes, I'm still grieving for Kitt, and I didn't realise I was going to be getting cats so soon after her death, but a friend gave me her cats and I didn't wanna refuse. . Bet your new cat helps fill the hole in your heart, doesn't he? I felt a little guilty at first, but they've really have lessened the pain, as I'm sure Benji does, and of course you'll never stop missing and loving Spike.

[DJ - Edgar, Jess...]

I waited four months. Then I got Oscar. It is now two years after Edgar and Jesse passed and I am still grieving....

Although grief varies from person to person, you should remember that you LOST someone you love. That takes time to get over.

And what better way to honour Spike's memory than to adopt another fur baby and to give them a home?

[marion]

Hi

I just got my new cat. He's been exploring the house and now is settling down a bit, into the "getting to know you" phase. In fact, he's sitting on my lap and purring his head off as I type, just like Spike did. I think we'll get on, and I don't regret the decision, because he already seems to be filling some of that gaping hole left by Spike, although I'm very aware he ISN't Spike. I also feel that in a way Spike is around, watching him and that he approves!

Marion

[Muffins]

Hi Marion:

Congrats on your new furkid!!!!

I'm very sure that your beloved Spike is looking down at you and he's very happy that his mom is happy!!!!

I'm glad that you both are happy and it's a lot of fun getting to know this "new personality"...etc.... No, they'll never
take the place of our beloved cats that have gone on to Rainbow's Bridge....... But, you have a new beautiful
boy to love....... And, he is very, very grateful!!!

They are amazing beauties, aren't they???

After our Ernestine was put to sleep on 2/7/2004, I swore up & down that NEVER, NEVER WOULD I EVER OPEN
UP MY HEART ONLY TO BE HURT AGAIN.....
But, exactly one month after, Ben & I were at a shelter, and we came home with 2 babies.....

There's no doubt in my mind, that Ernie-Bird looks down at us with LOVE!!!!!

We took home Lucy & Yo-Yo.....

We've had some rough times in the house with the 2 of them getting along, but everyone on LS has been sooooo helpful
to us, with great advice.
I'm happy to say that Lucy is still here with us.......she'll be here forever!!!!
Yo-Yo and her are getting along better.....Yo-Yo knows that she's the "Queen"..............

I wish you all the luck in the world with your new kitty.
Please let us all know your new babies name, and all that great stuff!!!!

Love, Denise