Help With A Tragic Loss Options

[simonandlaura]

we just found this site and hope that u can help us, today we had to put down our beloved fluffy:( it wasnt a easy descion to make but her tumour to the lung wasnt cureable and she was having trouble breathing, since her passing we have both been grief stricken and feeling that we have done the wrong thing, it feels like this hurt will never stop

[Kurbysma]

My Kurby was hit and killed by a car a week ago today. I was and am still devastated. (The car never stopped.) I came home from work and found him 5 mins afterwards. (My husband had let him out to pee and turned his back for a few mins.) I know how you feel and I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's slowly beginning to get better. I held him in my arms and rubbed his little paws until my husband took him from me. We had him sent off today to be cremated and we get his ashes back on Valentine's Day. I'm sure that will be a day I will never be happy on again. All I can say is it will slowly get better. Remember the happy times with your baby and try to do something in memory of her. I am making Kurby a memorial garden by his favorite tree with a little pond and fountain. I ordered him a memorial garden stone online with his name on it. I will also put a bench out there and go there often to remember him. His ashes will remain in our home under his pictures on the wall. I will say a little prayer for your fluffy tonight when I say a prayer for Kurby.

Kurbysma

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[brandyandsoshi]

My cat, Soshi, had lymphoma in her brain, and we had to make the same decision. It was such a hard thing to do, I had to ask my husband to tell the vet we didn't want her to suffer anymore. I didn't think I could get the words out. So, he asked for me. He held her and I petted her soft, shiny fur as the vet gave her the shot.
She was having seizures, wasn't eating, and was in a constant state of confusion at this point. She was ready to go.
I know you did the right thing as did I. Our babies were suffering, and they needed us most at that time. We made a strong, selfless choice, because we knew it would hurt us immeasurably to loose our kitties. Yet, we didn't want them to be in pain any longer. So, as much as I know it hurts, know your baby is now safe and not hurting anymore.
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Brandy

[simonandlaura]

thank you both for your comments, sleeping last night fealt almost inpossable, laura kept crying and shaking and saying she was so so sorry it fealt like our hearts were gonna break, we get fluffys ashes back in a week or so we orderd them in a little wooden urn in the shape of a cat lying down, i think were going to put her ashes under the chair where she use 2 love 2 sleep, it hurts so much to know that shes gone but we knew that we will see her again someday

[LittleGirl's...]

Dear Simon and Laura,

You DID do the right thing. The compassionate thing, the ultimate love.

You're right---you and sweet Fluffy will be reunited. In the meantime, Fluffy is in bliss and not suffering emotionally or physically.

God bless,
Kathy

[Forever Jake]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss..I know what you are going through, and I can say that you did do the right thing, out of love for your furkid. I had to make the same decision 2 days before Thanksgiving, and I held my Jake cat in my arms and told him how much I loved him until the very end. I cry everyday still, and the grief has come in waves. Somedays are worse than others, but I will say that this site has helped me to get through it. Everyone here understands and feels the same way, and have been very helpful.
The following was given to me by a friend that I met on this site, and, while reading it still makes me cry, it has helped me to know that Jake was loved and that he loved me in return, and that he is waiting for me on the other side:


The Story of Little Orange Boy

The little orange boy woke up on the edge of a pond. Behind him, kitties and puppies were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his Mommy.

His Mommy was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?"

The little orange boy turned around. A beautiful lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy whined and walked out of the water.

"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good. When she started to pet him and skritch under his chin where he liked, he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your Mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And Daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he wa or how fast he was or how big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."

"No they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his Mommy

"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around. Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and OBie. Dogs too - Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky, a rabbit named Dot and a hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.

She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.

The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to the Angel in Charge. "They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are other people for you to love," the angel told them.

So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, one saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop lovng us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "you will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the PETS were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen Tears," he whispered.
___________________________________________

"So it is," the kind lady told the little ones. "And so each Mommy and Daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His Mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your Mommy cries, she is healing."

"It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about. That is all that truly matters." She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to leave his Mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come. And a long, long time from now - you'll find her standing at the side of the pond waiting for you when you finish playing."
"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look at his Mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.

"I love you Mommy, he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced over at the others running and playing and laughing with the butterflies. "Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."

Then Fluffy turned and raced after the others.

Take care, and know that you are in my prayers,
Sandi

[simonandlaura]

Thank you so much again for your kind words and support, the last few days have been hard but laura has been a little better we both still miss fluffy very much most of the ppl we know in our daily lives have not been as understanding as the ppl on here. They come out with things like its just a cat or o well get another one, but no matter what they say both laura and i know diffrent. Lat night laura was lookin on google and she saw ragdoll cats and they are similar to fluffy in a way, we found a place where they sell the kittens so we enquired and they said that a litter had been born just yesterday morning and that there were 2 lady kittens. I have always beleived that in some way things kinda happen for a reason and i began to wonder if maybe we could love a cat like fluffy and give her the home she deserves. But then guilt came into our minds, was it to soon? Would fluffy understand that we wernt trying to replace her? Then it hit us again that she was gone and all the pain of the last few days came back with a vengence. I got a e mail from laura this morning to say she had reserved a kitten, she wont be ready for at least 2 months, i know that we can never ever replace fluffy and neither of us would want to. Im sorry if ive rambled a bit but this site really helps me get everything out and its a place where no matter how we feel theres always some1 who understands what were going through. Since all this happened ive been coming here every morning and sometimes in the evening, sometimes to see if we have messages and to leave some myself and other times just to read some posts, we thank you for this site and for being there in a time of need:)

[5catsmom]

I'm one of those people who believe that one of the greatest tributes we can give our departed pets is to share the love we learned from them - if that makes sense. When I've lost a pet, I usually adopt another soon after, partly because to me a house isn't a home without something furry inside, but also because there are so many pets out there who would benefit from what my departed pet taught me. I also think in a way our departed pets "guide" us to other furbabies, and even if they were the "jealous" type here on earth, those feelings don't really fit where they are now, happy and warm. Fluffy would understand and approve of your wanting to share love with another cat, I think. My Heidi cat, I believe, regularly visits my other cats to check on them and me, and it's a comforting presence. Where Fluffy is now, she knows your hearts and understands your feelings. Take care - Barbara

[Nank]

The hardest thing we have to do is make the decision to take their pain as our own. You made the right decision. Fluffy was telling you in a special way that it was time. I think they don't understand pain, sometimes, and get confused when it comes upon them.

And so, over the Bridge they go to be running and chasing butterflies..and waiting...for your time.

My thoughts are with you.

Nank

[Forever Jake]

We've had something crazy happen within the last couple days--I have mentioned before that we have 2 other kittens, both who tested negative for the feline leukemia disease. Our one kitten, Bailey, has begun to do things that only Jake would do--he has become very talkative, his markings are very similar, and sometimes, just the way he looks at us makes us think that we are looking right at a little Jake. I had a dream last night, that may sound crazy, but in my dream Jake was there and told me that Bailey was sent to us because God knew Jake was sick and that we would need to keep his memory alive through Bailey. Don't get me wrong, we love Fritzie-Waffles too, but we are really wondering if Bailey was his offspring. Bailey was found about 1/4 mile away from our new house, and Jake had not been neutered at the time. One of our neighbors have a siamese female, and swears that Jake snuck in and mated with her cat. Maybe I am going crazy, I just had to share that I do also believe that our departed furkids visit us to let us know that they are still with us....

Thanks for listening,
Sandi