I Need Some Advice, WHAT DO I DO? Options

[heartbroken1]

I am having a bit of trouble here with my emotions......
i have been engaged for almost 13 months. the home i live in now is where my precious kitty was hurt at and she is buried in the back yard in a peaceful area. we put her in this huge sandy area where an above ground swimming pool used to sit. the kids like to play in the sand so that is where we put her.

my dad and I own the house, but i asked him to sell it because i am getting married in may and will be moving in with my fiance. i really don't want her resting place disturbed AT ALL. and my husband to be (the one who buried her) said that he would bring her out of the ground so i can get her cremated. it's been since may do they do that , that late? there is a place here in town called "furry loved ones" and they cremate your pet, but the ashes in a little black velvet bag and put the bag into her special teddy bears or heart pillows or pillow of choice.

some good friends of mine are looking at my home to buy it and i asked them that if they get the house that if they could please not disturb her and they told me that would leave her in peace. but what if they don't get the house? i don't know if i am over reacting or not but i just don't want my pretty girl's final resting place disturbed. a part of me want to take her with me to my fiance's house and let her rest there, and part of me wants to excavate her and cremate her and have her in a teddy bear forever so i don't have to worry about it. she was sooooo very special to us that is what makes me confused. i have left a lifetime of loved pets behind me in their final resting places and never thought 2 seconds about leaving them behind and moving forward. but with her it's hard because she was that once in a lifetime pet. the house might sell any day now and i need to decide what to do but i am very confused about it. can someone please give me your opinion so i can think really hard about this? please ??????

what should i do?

[AngelBaby]

I can see that is an agonizing decision. I buried my baby in the yard too and have thought that when I move I would have to bring him with me because I don't want anyone to disturb or discard him if they find him. Plus I want him close. From the way you described your options, my thought for you would be to have her cremated and put in a teddy bear for you. I think if you made that decision you would be at peace with it. It would be hard but would be a very sweet thing to do. You could hug the teddy bear. People seem to feel close to their babies ashes. (I don't have any experience with cremation.) If you brought her to the new house - newly weds don't usually settle in their first house and stay there forever... Eventually you will be faced with this decision again. Even if your friends buy the house... will you really be able to rest with that decision? Maybe they won't disturb her but someone else would own the land where she is and they're eventually going to move. How about relocating your baby to your father's house?

[heartbroken1]

well my father lives 3 hours away from me. my husband to be's house is on his mothers property and this is her dream home they will never leave this place. my fiance's brother passed a yr ago at age 29, so if anything happens with his mom, the house goes to my (future) husband. i don't know if "they" cremate a pet that has been gone so long. i loved her so much and this is really making me kind of grieve all over again for her, but i need to decide what i can do. i guess i can call and see if they would do that for me at such a late date of her being passed for so long, but i cared too much for her to watch her get disturbed and all. i know it's just her body that is left and her soul is happy and elsewhere at rainbowbridge. but it's the body that held the pet that i loved so very much and out of respect i can't just walk away from her. she is buried with special toys she loved and a special gift that my girls and i buried with her from each of us. that's a lot of sentimental treasures with our baby. thank you for your opinion angelbaby.

[AngelBaby]

In that case, if it were me, I would definitely bring her to your fiance's house and lay her to rest in the most beautiful spot in the yard. chimes, flowers, maybe a little white picket fence around her spot... the whole works.

I loved how you described this: "it's the body that held the pet I loved so very much".

ditto

[bearbear]

dear heartbroken1- i know that your desision is a very painstaking one. i, too am moving in another month from the home my wife and i own. i will relate my decision on what i am doing to you. i hope it will be of some help in your situation. i lost my best friend bear, a 4 yr. old black lab, 2 months ago. i had planned this move around him as top priority what would make him happiest. we had him creamated and i could not even pick his ashes up at the vets until a few days ago. i just kept thinking of how those cold ashes could never be my warm, loving baby and how could they be comforting? i think i felt that they would only make me hurt even more(if that is possible!). i was wrong!!! i put his box of ashes between our bed and the wall by his spot where he slept; actually when a 90 lb. lab stetches out he can take up most of a king size bed! i really can feel his presence around me! every morning when i woke up and stretched, i couldn't even finish before i had to dodge a powerful, swinging tail and be smothered with kisses. i'm sure this will sound CRAZY, but the last two mornings when i awoke and stretched, my mattress bounced for no apparent reason; it was only me and my little kitty in bed! i found myself flinching to avoid being tail-slapped again!!! this filled me with a warm feeling and started my day on a positive note-ALL of my days since my bearbear's death have been torturous to wake up to! i never thought of putting his ashes in a stuffed animal, but a have a little black lab beenie that i think i will open up and add some of my boyboy to it. i think i also will go to his favorite place,"his park", walk our mile(he would walk me, not the other way around!) and then throw some of his ashes at "his ducks", chasing them into the water as he always did. also buried on our present property is my suzie puppy. she died a few winters ago, and i kept her in a makeshift igloo on my back deck for about a month until i could dig into the ground. she was with me 17 years, and if not for bear, it would have been so much more difficult to cope with! i have two cats; muffin(age 18) and joey(age17) also buried out back. what i think that i will do is to take a shovel full of dirt from their memorial spots and mix it together and grow a special plant in their honor to take with me. i do feel for you and your fiance and i wish you both love and happiness in your life together-i'm sure you will have many special pets to share and i wish you comfort in your grief until you are reunited with your beloved friend. you are in my prayers, luv, ron in pa

[Kim R.]

When you buried your sweet kitty, did you bury her in some type of special container? How can I put this gently...It has been quite some time since you buried your kitty, and most of her shell has probably been absorbed by nature. On the other hand, her skeletal structure should still be intact, as long as she was contained in something (I speak from experience). I'm sure that your local pet crematory would be more than glad to cremate those remains for you if you wish, and I would highly recommend that option. I, like bear's daddy, find great comfort in having my Sasha with me. I know it may sound stupid, but I would worry about her when it was cold or raining if she wasn't inside with me. I think you would feel good about the decision if that is what you did.

I am sorry if my response was disheartning in any way..it's a very difficult subject to address in any light.

Your friend in grief,
Kim

[parker]

I don't know much about the whole process, but I would see what you can do about getting her remains cremated. I struggled with the decision and wanted to bury Parker, but the reality these days is not many people stay in one house forever. I had him cremated and it helps somedays to just sit with him in my hands and grieve. I will tell you if you decide to get him cremated, I used to work for an animal hospital and you definitely want to do your homework when choosing a place to have him cremated. I don't know where you live, or what options are available to you, but there is a place where I live that does cremations throughout the country. The place is called Pet Angel Memorial Service located in Carmel, Indiana. They are wonderful, they do independent cremations and offer all sorts of ways to memorialize your baby. You can probably find them online. They helped me with Parker and it was just like a funeral home for people. I got him back in 2 days. Anyway, hope that maybe helps. Good luck with your decision, I know it is a hard one. Just know, regardless of your decision, your babies soul is always with you. What is in the ground is just one part of her. You will always have her with you.

Parker's Mom,
Kerry