Devastation, can't eat or sleep Options

[snoupy4u]

My lord the pain I feel. Marmot my guinea pig and my first pet ever died Nov 2nd. I don't have parents or family because I grew up in foster care so have been trying to rely on my friends.

I feel like I really need someone to be with me, but my friends are flaky. I can't eat and have to get drunk to even take a bite of food. I am just trying to get through.

Help anyone. Please write me if you can. I just need support and words of hope. When does the pain lift?

My house is a disaster and his friend Mickie is scared and doesn't know where he is. That is so painful to watch because I cannot explain it to him.

Help anyone.
April

[howzerdo]

April, I am so sorry for the loss of your pet. I too have had trouble eating after my dear pets have died (I've had quite a few in my 44 years). And I confess to needing a glass of wine for the first few nights after my most recent loss six weeks ago, of my beloved dog 10 year old dog, Rudy. This discussion board is very helpful - the folks who post here all share a love for animals, of all different kinds, and have been through the pain. Try reading "My journey through grief," a thread which appears below. I will be thinking of you, and sending good thoughts your way. Someday in the future you will be able to remember the love you shared without so much sadness. Take care, and hang in there. Others care.
Gina

[QorquisDad]

Hi April,

You've come to the right place. Everyone here has felt what you're feeling. You will get through this. There are going to be lots of tears and lots of ups and downs, but you will get through it.

It's been 8 months and 5 days since I lost my "baby puppy" Qorqui. I still get teary a few times a week. But it's not the all consuming "gut wrenching" feeling I had in the first days after she was killed. You too will make it through.

The best thing I can say for Mickie is to pay a little more attention to him than normal, try to comfort him and let him know that you are there for him. Most folks that have multiple pets will tell you that they too feel a sense of loss when their companions are gone, and many need help dealing with it just a people do.

I'm sure more people with better advice than I can give will respond to you too. This is really a wonderful place. It literally kept me sane in the first couple months. Don't be afraid to "spill your guts" here either. It's the safest place with the most wonderful people I've ever found.

Please try to rest and eat. Grief is a lot of work, and you need the food and sleep to keep going, or you'll likely end up getting sick on top of greiving.

Take care,
Tim

[snoupy4u]

Thank you for your emails about Marmot. I still feel horrible. Today I have to go out to do something and have to finally wash my hair. This will be hard.

Marmot was the love of my life. I feel so much pain in my chest all of the time. I am barely making it through the days. Yesterday I was finally able to eat something.

At the same time this happened I had just been laid off of a 3 year job working with HIV+ women. I had to say good-bye to all of my clients which was also heartbreaking. Plus i had a long term client die in Sept. Anyway I was already at risk to lose it a bit, with all of that and the impeding holidays.
Then Marmot just died SO suddenly. I am blown away. The timing was truly sick.

I am glad there are others out there who know how I feel. And thank you for writing me. I feel so alone. I am hanging out with Mickie but he is depressed and it is painful to take care of him so my boyfriend has been. I pet him alot though but i miss marmot. Mickie is new (5 months) and never really bonded with me he bonded with Marmot. I miss Marmot, I want him back.Everything is reminding me of him, I can't sleep in my room because he had been in there.

Thanks everyone.

[bearbear]

dear april- my broken heart goes out to you. i spent 5 days in jail in pa for a .08 alcohol level dui. didn't mind doing my time ,but my precious 4 yr. old puppy, bear could only do 4 days. he doesn't leave our backyard anymore , but must have been looking for his daddy and got hit by a truck out in front of our home. it used to be home; for me i can't stand looking at my long back yard that wasn't mine- but my boy boy's. he loved to run .he was an 85 lb. black lab, so stong with so much heart-so much love. he was the gentlest animal i have ever seen.i was released on sunday with so much hope . i was overflowing with thankfulness and only wanted to get home to my family(wife -dog- cat), not necessarily in that order. i knew i was needed and missed by my dog for that short while the most. i kick my ass constantly for not having the foresight to put my boy in a kennel to keep him safe! he was my dog and only listened to me.i went nutz when my wife told me the news-started drinking,breaking my probation(automatic 10 more days in jail) ,breaking my tree out front up with a baseball bat,jumping through the hatch window of my wife's car in my bare feet , smashing my upstairs toilet to smitherines,and throwing a lightstand across the room. i had the 2 cop cars come to my residence;one officer on foot chased me down our back yard and into our willow tree. he knew my desperation and kept his distance. i didn't get arrested, but he called my probation officer and wanted to know what to do. don't know or care the consequences of that yet. i drank for 2 days and then didn't eat or drink for 2 more.today i ate something because if i make myself sick,i won't be able to care for my bear bear's kitty , josie. they were inseperable. they slept together curled up in a ball and she washed his face everyday.right now my wife is out of town and i have myself barrackaded in my house. i feel that that is the best way i can care for josie right now.you need to care for yourself for marmot's sake and take care of mickie(that is what marmot would want). cant tell you how to heal- i don't know that one myself, but hang in there and realize you are not alone.i love you and hope we can mend our broken hearts together. ron in pa