Picasso's One Year Anniversary, its been a year today since he died Options

[crazycatwoman]

Hello

im sure most of your know picasso's story, for those of you who dont he was hit by a car, and long story short, there was no vet around , so he had a slow , horrible death, bled to death. So it was totally tramatizing. I couldnt even give him dignity in the end, or end his pain, which is what i think haunts me so much.

I feel like i have to say all this, even if is repetitive so sorry . i have to say honestly besides the ultimate shock of losing him, i feel just as miserable today as i did a year ago. I have not dealt with it at all . i just dont want him to be dead, he was too young and it was just a mistake

Today i was having , well im still having a really hard time with the 1 year anniversary so i went to starbucks with a friend and we were talking about god,( because i just feel Picasso was totally cheated, like it was a cosmic mistake, he was only a year old ) and my friend is fairly religious, and to be blatently honest i think she thinks my soul needs saving, which it probably does, so god bless her for trying . anyhow

She was talking about forgiveness and dealing with guilt, and everything she says makes since, But the simple fact is I cant forgive anyone involved.

Im still mad at the careless driver who couldnt take 10 seconds out of her day to slow down when she saw a TEN pound dog on the side of the road, also she could have turned off on the street right before where she hit him, im still mad that she stopped, said sorry, promised to come back later, as my parents were rushing to bring my dog to me and were like listen we cant talk, she NEVER came back, and she Knew where we live, so there is NO excuse, she hit him right infront of our house.

Im mad my dad didnt carry him to the car, or have him on a leash like i had ASKED him to do alteast a MILLION times. i love my dad, and i dont say anything to him about it, because he is 84, and dying of cancer, so i feel like it would be more distructive to tell him just how pissed off i am , so i dont bother, he is too old to bother with things like that , i simply dont trust him, and he always wants to keep my new dog stinky with him , and is mad at me because i WiLL not let him visit with him alone, well i wonder why he thinks i should trust him, but anyways

Im Mad at god because he is all powerful, he could have done a miracle and let him live, or alternatively, never let it happen in the first place, my faith in god is still NOT fixed, its not that i dont believe he exsists, i just DONT care

i dont see the point in letting me adopt Picasso, Only to let him die in a horrible way less then TWO months later , he would have been better off being put to sleep peacefully. ( i adopted him on his last of 5 days). i love Picasso, and i tried to justify his death by rescueing other little dogs, but at the end of the day, its just not him, i love my new dogs, im not taking anything away from them, but if god wanted me to save little dogs, all he had to do was plant the idea, he didnt have to kill my sweet Picasso. ............ i just think GOD made a mistake, or there is no god at all and Picasso just had bad luck. i just cant have faith properly now

i am just a broken person, truth told, i cant accept his death or move on, im sure someone out there feels something like this , i just cant deal with this in a healthy matter

well thanks for listening everyone, and please have a little prayer for Picasso so he knows he is not forgotten

thanks

amber

[Sheena]

Hi Amber,

I feel for you, and I'm so sorry for Picasso. My baby Spooky got hit by a car also last Saturday Sep.24 and I am still mad at the driver who left her dead on the street. I feel so guilty and heartbroken....I could not blame my husband for letting her out the door..she loves being outdoor all the time. She was a stray cat when we adopted her 3 yrs ago..My thoughts and prayers are with you...It will get better in times....

Still Grieving/Spooky's Mom
Rubie

[pamurchu]

I am genuinely filled with grief for you and your feelings. There are no easy answers to be given. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and hope someday you will experience joy in life again. I had not known your story, only finding this website on Monday when I needed a kind word to fill the hole in my own heart. By retelling your story one more time, you at least have me grieving with you now as well. Take care, and I pray that the empty space in your life will be filled with happiness again one day.