Buster, Bereavement Options

[Susanna]

My huge tabby/white tom cat was killed on the road outside my house, on Sunday 18th September 2005 at approximately 11:00 a.m. Buster never went near the road before... he had no need too... Buster was too intelligent and knew to avoid the road, but something must have spooked him... To this day, I will never know exactly what happened.
I live in the Countryside in England with my long term Partner. My house is located next to a meadow, where my beloved Buster used to go, if he wanted to hunt. Living in the country is a lonely life, the only time I meet up with other people is when I work during the week, my Partner works away alot, so when I finish work at the office I like to get in my car and drive home, to the company of my cat, Buster. Buster was no ordinary cat... he was like my child... we connected in a way, I have never experienced with any other animal. When I got home from work, he would wait by the door and greet me with his loving gaze and his cat version of a bouncy 'hello'... He loved it when I went grocery shopping, as he knew that I would have a special treat for him. When I did the cooking, he would sit in his high, perching stool and watch me. Every aspect of my homelife, included my cat... He was my reason to want to go home... The happiness we shared together was that of pure contentment... I was never lonely when I had Buster... The long Summer evenings, Buster used to follow me from the house to the edge of the garden, where the meadow starts... We'd sit on the bench overlooking the meadow and watch the deer.... Me, with my glass of wine and Buster, with his fish sticks.... Buster had the most perfect life, ever given to a cat!
Buster was loved by everyone, he was a huge bundle of love with an exceptional personality. He didn't have a nasty temperiment like some animals do. He was a relaxed, layed back cat, with so much love to give. If I was working from home, I would sit in my office/study and Buster sit beside me and gaze at me... if he wanted attention, he would continue to tap my leg until I gave in. He loved the contentment of laying curled up on my knees, whilst I struggled to reach the computer to continue with my work... I never minded, I loved the affection and the unconditional love we shared.... My house was a home when he was alive, now it's an empty shell... Each room echoes different, beautiful memories... I can't bear to go home... I can't bear that he was so cruely struck down... I never ever wanted him to know what it was like to feel cruelty or pain, but I fear that his last moments may have been painful...
On Sunday morning, Buster should have been curled up with me in bed, watching a movie, like he usually did. My Partner got up to let Buster outside, to go to the toilet. My Partners Son was staying the weekend and was outside playing football around the same time as Buster was killed. It was my Partner who told me that Buster had been killed.... My Partner brought Busters body round to the side of the house and when I saw him, I was inconsolable. His body was still warm and there was slight blood on his lip, otherwise he looked like he was sleeping... I lifted him in my arms and cradled him close to my heart... at that point, I wanted to wake up and find that this was a terrible nightmare.. but it wasn't... I wrapped Buster's lifeless body in a clean towel and continued to cradle him, until my Partner eventually took him from my arms.
Buster was buried under the hazel nut tree in the garden. A place he loved to sit, where he got shade from the son. I have placed a soft chair by his grave, so I can sit in the evenings to be close to him... I feel that I have lost a child, a wonderful companion....

[jenpij]

Susanna - I am so sorry for your loss !! Buster seemed to have been a wonderful companion...your story brought tears to my eyes, because beloved pets are without a doubt HUGE parts of your family !!! And for his loss to be such a tragic one.....for that I am so sorry and I wish I knew what to say to take your pain away !!!
My loss is a little different.....my husband and I lost our beloved dog Magee to cancer in July, and although I knew the inevitable was coming I certainly never thought it would be 12 days after she was diagnosed with this horrible disease !!! I wish I never started her on chemotherapy, I wish she lived her last days with no medical intervention because the chemo made her very sick !!!
We were at our vacation house in Pennsylvania when she passed away...she LOVED it there, running in the fields, swimming in the river..so when I knew the end was near we brought her there one last time to swim...and she “let go” when we where there...my husband and I are convinced she didn’t want to leave and took her last breath in my husband’s arms....so like with Buster, we buried her there, under a pine tree on the top corner of a field.....although we have a 1 yr old baby, who is a good distraction, I am having a horrible time without her, as well as being a stay at home mom, when my son is sleeping, and the house is so quiet.... is when I miss Magee the most !!

This is a wonderful site though...you will have better days than others, and on those tough days I visit this site and read some posts and know how many wonderful animal lovers there are out there !!!
But you must give yourself plenty of time to grieve....your just lost your precious Buster....and it will be quite some time before you can smile when you think of him instead of cry...it’s a long process and a roller coaster ride at that !!! At first I would just cry, cry, cry, I wouldn’t eat or sleep.... then there are days I become angry with endless amounts of questions running through my head.....there are good days when I’m okay and then horrible days.... the other day my son was stretching underneath a piece of furniture and when I reached underneath I pulled out one of Magee’s old bones and became hysterical !!!

But time is the only thing that will help ease the pain....I’m sure it’s hard for you to imagine right now...but eventually you will feel a little better.....Magee was our first baby for 8 years...my husband brought her to work everyday and we would never vacation anywhere without her...there is not a day that goes by I don’t think of her...and just lately I can look at her picture and just be lucky to have loved her SO much !!!
Post as often as you can, everyone on this board will try and help you in one way or another...I promise !!
Take care, Jen

[Eliza]

Susanna,

I can't tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your beloved life companion, Buster. What a wonderful kitty he sounds like! And what a blessing to have had him in your life! I loved the way you described your relationship and the way you spent your days together. He sounds like he had a nearly perfect cat life, much of which is thanks to you and your loving nature! I know how extremely difficult it must be to lose him the way you did. I am so terribly sorry. But, you were obviously soul mates, and I truly believe that his spirit is with you now, and is waiting for you in Heaven, where he is safe and healthy (with other lovely fields to run in!). And this is coming from someone who hasn't been particularly religious, but I have come to realize that there is NO WAY such wonderful souls cease to exist. I know that they continue on and watch over us, and that we will be reunited someday.

I had a very similar relationship with my girl, Winnie, a beautiful calico tabby with soulful green eyes and the most expressive face in the world! She and I were constant companions when I was home. She sat by (or on) me whenever I was sitting down, and slept by my side for 13 years (she would have been 17 next month), letting me hug and kiss her as much as I wanted. She used to gaze at me so lovingly, and when she did, I knew what true love was. Life was always good whenever she was around, no matter what was happening in my life. Home was home because of her. I'm only into my third week since she passed, and so I'm not able yet to give much encouragement, except to say that others on this site have journeyed through the grief process, and have learned to live full lives again, so maybe we can, too.

You and Buster will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

Eliza

[Jomoose]

Your cat Buster sounds wonderful and was lucky to have someone to love him as much as you do. My cat Rumpton was also killed by a car on the road outside our house last week. It is such a shock when they are taken from us so quickly and unexpectedly. The whole house feels so empty without him and everything i try to do reminds me of him beacuse he used to be there with me.

I don't know about you but i wish i had had the chance to say goodbye and to have been there with him in his final moments just so that he would not have felt alone.

I hope things begin to get a little better for you as the time passes, people say that it does, this website is a wonderful way to share stories and thoughts with people who love their animals as their own family. Not everyboby does and i have found that some people quickly loose sympathy with you and feel that you should be over it by now (it has only been a week for me and some already think this), but with the people visiting this site you will never get that.

Rumpton used to curl up in bed with me too at the weekends!! It was my special Sunday morning treat!!

Take care

[Susanna]

This is Buster, who was killed on sunday morning..

Z x

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