Bonnie Options

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I just had to have bonnie, my cat of 17 put to sleep yesterday. She died in my arms, practically.

She was so ill at the end, couldnt even make the litter tray, so weak, so dehydrated.

I feel like I gave up on her, I feel like I should of waited till tmrw.

It is like a sister to me going, she was all I had in terms of closeness like that.

I feel stupid for being upset, my Dad died 2 year ago, and you think this never affects you again.

I just feel like I gave up on her, even through she was so suffering.

I saw her practically every day for 17 years, and now i wont see her again.

I really hate life.

First time back in the house without her this morning, and the tears are flowing.

She has been there through everything. She was propably my biggest support when my Dad died two years ago, and I didnt ever think she would go, as daft as that seems.

She was here every single day, meeting me as I came in, looking for food and a cuddle.

I feel like I gave up on her by having her put down. She could barely move, was so down, but maybe if I had give her another day ?

I also regret not staying long after I had her put down, I gave her a quick cuddle, and went out and cried my heart out. I was there when she went, stroking her head.

She seemed to cry as the needle went in, like she was begging me not to do it. Maybe she wasnt ready to go ?

She is off to the same place her brother went to, so that is some comfort, but I just feel like I have had enough now, I really have.