Have I Gone Nuts? Options

[jenn]

I know this is going to sound silly... stupid even... but I just HAVE to know if anyone's had a similar experience...
Today I was sitting here at the computer.. answering a few emails, playing a game of poker... All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I smelt alcohol... Rubbing alcohol. The kind they used on Freeway's leg before the needle to put him to sleep.. It was SO strong... And just as quickly as it came, it left, although it lingered a bit.. I FELT him here.... I whispered to him baby it's you.. I know it is... it's you... and I felt his presence completely wash over me...
There was nothing in this room to cause that smell. Nothing. Believe me, I searched. I have never been one to believe in paranormal acitivity. But I FELT HIM HERE... Am I crazy??? Or is it possible he was letting me know he is ok... and here... watching over me.... It's been 2 week and I miss him so... He is still on my mind every second, his name is often on my lips, and I'm always talking to him. The pain still runs so so deep... I wonder if this incident was just my imagination WANTING to feel him near, but I swear I smelt it, and that is how he smelt the last time I saw his furry little body. I now associate that scent with him and his death so of course if he wanted me to know he was here he would use it...
God I hope it was him... I truly want to believe it was, but I also know that the mind can do weird things to you when you're in the midst of grief.
But it wasn't just the smell.. I felt him... it was like he was right here, his head on my foot.. I felt him... please tell me I'm not insane... And if I am insane, please order me a rubber room, lol. Oh how I want to believe that it was my baby letting me know he is ok.. How I long to know he is safe and happy and waiting for me... No more darn tumors, pills he hated to take, shots, pain and exhaustion.. happy and free... That is all I've ever truly wanted for him. It is all we should want for everyone and everything we love.

~Jenn

[Brigid]

You're not insane, Jenn: you're very lucky! So many of us are waiting desperately for a sign from our furry ones and you got such a tangible one! As Jilly said to me, don't dismiss these signs: cherish them. I have had no sign (that I could distinguish) yet, but Jim swears he 'saw' Ryd the day after she passed and last night he saw a massive shooting star when we were outside standing by her grave. I haven't seen either thing, much to my complete distress. How wonderful for you to have such a real sense of Freeway; cherish it. You're not nuts; you're just lucky!
B
x

[Stitch]

Jenn, no you aren't going nuts.

Before Xian passed, he was too weak to clean himself, so needless to say, he stunk. Every once in awhile, someone in the house will smell Xian, or see his energy chasing the other kitties.

Oh, another pic, if I can get it to work, this is Xian when he was about 3.

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[margo]

I wasn't present when my cat Ashley was put to sleep so I didn't know about the alcohol smell. However, a couple of weeks after his death I was at work at my computer, and thought I smelled alcohol. I couldn't figure out why. This smell was accompanied by a feeling of extreme grief and anxiety, so I don't know what that means--if the vet had trouble putting Ashley to sleep (?) He was supposed to be already under anesthetic. At any rate, I too have smelled that odor, so you are not alone in this experience.

[Shimmer]

Jenn,

Once again, I read your post and could completely relate. I didn't smell alcohol though. Last night, I was cutting my boyfriend's cat's nails and the smell of Duke's feet came across my nose. I've cut her nails before and never noticed a Duke-like smell.

I loved the smell of Duke's feet. (Yeah, I know that's weird). He used to sleep on the pillow next to me sometimes with his feet in my face (if I was lucky , a stinkier part if I wasn't ). I found it comforting and I'd fall asleep breathing in his scent.

Anyway, back to the cat's feet... A couple minutes after cutting her nails, I picked her up to smell her feet again. They didn't smell remotely like Duke's!

So, ummmm, I can't tell you that you're not nuts 'cause you're experiencing something that I experience and, well..., I go around smelling animals' feet...

Tracy

[jillybromley]

Jenn

You have had your SIGN. Your beloved Freeway has let you know that he is okay, in the best way that he was able to do so. Something that meant something to YOU, something that was significant to YOU.

I am so happy for you. Accept it as a blessing … don’t belittle or deny his attempt to contact you or think that you are insane … that would be so very sad for both him and for you. Just close your eyes and give him a big thankyou and know now in your heart that one day when it is your turn to cross the boundary he will be right there waiting for you.


Brigid, I am sure it will come. Don't try too hard. It will come at a time when you are not looking for it or least expecting it. Jenn was reading her emails, playing a game of poker not looking for it at all. I have found this is generally the case. My thoughts are with you, I know how much you miss your beautiful Ryd.

with love
jilly

[aepva]

I don't think you're crazy.

I had a weird moment the other night when I was falling asleep. I usually wake up with a start a few times before I doze off for good - not sure why, it's just always been that way. Saturday night I had the most intense sensation, for about 5 seconds as I was half asleep, that a cat was licking my hair and breathing on my forehead.

When I opened my eyes, Oscar was at my feet. Was it Cinnamon? She used to drive me nuts some mornings because she'd get into a blind-rattling, book-chewing, hair-licking mode that I referred to as destructo-kitty mode. I'd hide from the licking under the covers or push her away but she'd always try again. And Oscar has NEVER done that.

I'm still not sure what that was, but I like to think it was her. My Mom had the good sense not to take that conversation any further - I had a sense she thought I was trying a bit too hard - but that's ok. My family tends to be a skeptical bunch and I don't hold it against them.

Brigid, I can understand why you are so worried you haven't experienced this...don't let that get you down. When I lost my beloved grandmother, I was devastated and deeply depressed. I wanted to have dreams about her and to see signs from her after I was gone...and I did not for a long time. But then one daya few years later, I swear I heard her voice while I was lying on a bed in my apartment. It was nothing profound or meaningful, just a few words outside the window. It made my day and sometimes I still think about it and wonder.

Amy

[jenn]

Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me and helping me to see that I am NOT nuts, I just have a VERY special puppy who couldn't stand to see my hurting anymore. I'm still hurting, even though I believe it was him and know he's ok, it still hurts... He's still here tho!!!!!!!! Oh my is he still here. The day after the incident of smelling alcohol and feeling him here, the smoke alarm upstairs started to go off. It's a wired one, so you can't just take the batteries out and be done with it. What's weird tho, is it ONLY goes off when it's just me in the house. And it doesn't stop until I get upstairs.. and then it quits... And oh my does it ever waaaaaaaaail.... in true Freeway fashion!!!! It's never done this before and only does it when its just me here and NEVER at night when we are sleeping or even when we are doing something important. I go upstairs and I FEEL MY BABY.. I truly do.. and at this point I don't care if anyone doesn't believe me. I'll never lie and say its broken, it's not, it's just my boy saying hello and I miss you and please don't cry anymore. I will never not cry anymore, I hope he knows that I just miss him so much and while he is here I can't hold him, see him, take care of him. I also hope that my grief isn't keeping him from enjoying the afterlife... I don't want him hanging around here when he could be enjoying the other dogs and treats and toys. He suffered enough in life.. I want him to run and play now, as he deserves to do.

For all of those still waiting for signs.... Jilly is right... it comes when you least expect it, but usually in a way that you cannot possibly disregard as being anything BUT your baby. Your mind can tell you it's not but in your heart you know it is.

I am heading over to my aunts house now to escape the heat and go swimming. I expect this to be difficult as I have very clear memories of the last time I was there. Freeway was sure I was drowning (he hated water and couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be in a big pit of it on their own free will) and everytime my head would go under he would rush to the edge of the pool in a barking panic. Eventually he fell in, lol... He was always falling in pools... my sweet scared little baby.... oh how I wish he was here to bark at me today... But I know I am so so blessed to feel his spirit here