My Cat Of 17 Years Passed Yesterday, Overwhelming grief Options

[Ladypurr]

Dear Geraldine,

I grieve your loss of your precious, Min-Min. Though 17 years may seem like a long life for a cat, it is but a blink of an eye when measured with our lives. How do we go on when these precious creatures leave us? The pain of their absence is sometimes more than we can bear.

We are all thinking of you and surrounding you in our thoughts of sympathy and comfort. It is hard to be comforted. To not be able to touch the soft fur and hear the comforting purr of our beloved fur baby is beyond description. It is akin to having our heart ripped apart.

Geraldine, it is hard enough facing life now without Min-Min so don't beat yourself up over not putting her to sleep. It was traumatic for you, I'm sure, holding her in her last moments, but she was in your arms, loved and safe, when she crossed to the other side. If they could speak to us, I'm sure they would, in their great love for us, tell us that they are not afraid, that it is beautiful, and that they are so grateful for the time they spent with us.

Please don't misunderstand my words, but you thought of Min-Min, rather than yourself in making the decision to bring her home. Often people are so overcome by grief and fear that they cannot bring themselves to be with their beloved pet so they say their goodbyes and the veterinarian and technicians are the last people the animal experiences. I am not judging for each person deals with death in their own way. I am merely trying to help you to understand that you did what you felt was right, and it was!

You must also understand that not everyone bonds with animals that way you bonded with your Min-Min. That's why you shouldn't expect too much sympathy and comfort from fellow workers--or even friends--unless they, too, love their pets deeply.

You will find immense comfort and reassurance here. All of us have experienced numerous times the loss of a beloved animal child. Yes, I refer to my beloved cats as my "children". They are friends, comforters, teachers, healers, clowns, heartbreakers, and most of all, givers of complete and unconditional love. I've never known any human being, outside of my own mother, who I can attest to be such an enthusiastic giver of love, acceptance and loyalty!

Keep in mind that grief is not something you attach a time frame too. Each person grieves differently. But...I urge you to allow yourself to grieve. You will find gradual healing in the grieving process.

I grew up in in the Christian faith. I still believe in Jesus Christ and what He did for me at the cross. I also respect others' religions and I find wonderful friendship and uplifting with my associations with people who are metaphysical. Their reverence for all life appeals to my deepest feelings.

You will see Min-Min again. Life is a never-ending circle. Spirit never dies and often there is debate about whether animals have souls. I made the decision as a small child that animals indeed have souls. Min-Min's spirit is soaring free now. One day when your heart is no longer aching and the tears are not flowing so painfully, your cherished memories of Min-Min will wash over you like a warm spring rain. You'll smile and realize that though you no longer have her physical presence, you will always have her indelible image in your mind. Then you will understand that you have arrived at a place where pain has been replaced with hope and a realization that love will keep you together forever!

I can recommend some wonderful books if you're interested at some point in the future.

With great love and wishes for the peace and comfort that only God brings,

--Susan
~ a voice for the voiceless ~

[Golden327]

I know it's hard. I'm still struggling. My cat of nearly 18 years, Butterscotch, died about a week and a half ago now. I still catch glimpses of her on the couch where she always slept. I look at the sun coming in the window and I know how she would sprawl out on the carpet in the warmth.
When she first died, I thought of moving out. I live with my mom right now(a year out of college, figuring things out) and I thought if I got my own place, I wouldn't have to see all the places she always was. That it would help me get over her. But what I realized was that it's better to be here, to grieve here, because that way I"m not pushing it away, I'm dealing with it head on. It's hard for people to understand how much our cats love us and how much we love them. Unless your a cat person, I don't think you can quite understand. Most outsiders see cats as uncaring and lazy. How wrong they are! I had a rough time going to work also, as I was afraid of being made fun of. My coworkers were amazing and supportive. But even if yours are different, don't let them affect the way you feel. It is absolutely fine to be upset about this. Take your time to deal with it as you see fit. Keep coming here, it helps, tremendously.
It helped me to pull out photographs of her growing up. I put some in my room, and around where I usually saw her. That way I could remember the good times we shared and not think of those painful last few days. Just try to remember all the joy you brought each other.
Your cat is in a safe place now, feeling no pain. Try to find comfort in that.

Keep posting as you see fit
Kendra

[LJP]

Hi Geraldine,

I'm really sorry for the loss of Min Min. I know how absolutely devestating it is. We lost our beautiful nearly 14 year tortie Fluff, after a short illness in October last year. She had been losing weight for a long time and despite blood tests and vet examinations, nothing ever showed up, She stopped eating properly about 6 weeks before we were due to go on holiday - again, nothing showed up. I really felt uneasy and didn't want to go away. Against my better judgement. we did and spent all 2 weeks phoning home, to be told she was fine. Still something nagged at me and my worst fears were confirmed - Fluff was skin and bone, but still struggled up to greet us - an emergency CXR finally revealed the cause of her symptoms as a lung tumour. My beautiful girl was helped on her way 36 hours after our return. I felt so much guilt at having abandoned her - but through time, i know we made the right decision. I think that she choose the 2 weeks we were away, to finally let go, as she knew how hard it would be watching her fade. DH and i have both " seen/ felt " her at different times and this has been so comforting and every time we see a rainbow, we know she is saying hello.
4 days ago, my healing heart was shatterd into bits. Our ever present, queen bee nearly 17 year old Cleo, joined her at the bridge. This time i am in pieces, i'm going through crying, anger and denial. She was supposed to live forever - we got her soon after we met and she was just so much part of us. I just can't believe she has gone. Who else will keep me company in the evening and be sandwiched between us at night or under the duvet. Slowly, there are times when i am starting to smile at the memories. I "saw" her this morning - it was a beautiful start to the day. I know that time will heal and there will be such joy when i think of her.
It will get easier Geraldine - the pain will lessen and the smiles will come back. It does help to talk about our gorgeous babes.
Take care
Lynn