I Feel So Cheated, Allie was only 2 yrs. old Options

[Norah'sMom]

Good Friday marked two weeks since Allie died. Easter was happy, and it reminded me that as Christians, the sting of death is now gone, and all animals and humans can live with God forever. I know that God is taking care of Allie and that she is happy. But I can't help but be angry that I didn't get to spend more time with her. She would have loved these first few days of springtime -the warm weather and the birds singing -sometimes it's just so hard to understand God's plan and why He would want to separate us from those we love.

I know that 2 years with Allie was better than no time at all. And I know that her 2 years were filled with a whole lot of life. I also know that 100 years wouldn't have been enough. But I can't help but wish that I could have had at least one more spring with her. I just keep asking why? Why this horrible disease? Why Allie?

[Jazzygirl]

Here are some thoughts I have to answer your question: when one door closes, another one opens. I have been thinking A LOT this past week like you "why why why". Perhaps it's because we are needed to give love to another beautiful pet. I don't mean that we're going to run out and get another dog right away. I can't even imagine doing it for a LONG time. But I do believe that the path we're on in life is the path we're meant to be on...for whatever reason....usually due to learning certain lessons. I also believe strongly that we're being led down this path, towards something else....perhaps there's a puppy born right now, who in time is going to need a loving home...your home...my home...someone else on here's home. And at that time, our paths will cross and we will be ready to know love again.
Am I making any sense at all? Sometimes it's hard to put my thoughts on this subject into writing. But I guess what I'm saying is, look at the BIG picture...when the time is right, we will have the opportunity to give a GREAT life to another dog or cat or whatever and that in itself is worth living for, no?
Btw, when I have a relapse back into grief, someone please refer me to my own words in this post!!

[Kathleen032]

I know exactly how you're feeling. Shiloh was only 5 when she died from lymphoma. I've tried to let go of some of my anger about her being taken from me at such an early age, but at times I still question...Why Shiloh, why did she get lymphoma? Why didn't the chemo give her more time? Someone here made a profound statement about pets being in our lives for a specific amount of time and in that time they have certain things that they teach us. When their teaching is done, they leave us. Shiloh did teach me a lot of things. I would've thought that Shiloh had many more things she could have taught me, but honestly, in the last 5 months I've acquired 2 new dogs...one abandoned and abused 3 year old female who just showed up on my doorstep and one 6 week old puppy abandoned on the side of the road. If I still had Shiloh, I wouldn't have kept either of these dogs. Emma would've been hit by a car, or euthanized at the pound. Koda would've been hit by a car, or possibly found a good home. At this point in my life would I trade Emma and Koda to have Shiloh back again?...Yeah, I probably would, but 5 years from now I might look back and say "Shiloh was an exceptional dog...thank God she paved the way in my heart for these two wonderful dogs that now share my life." I think sometimes we just don't see the big picture, and when we're grieving a lot of times we don't care about the big picture...we're hurting and we want our loved ones back.

Wow, I hadn't read Jazzygirl's post until now, and I realize I'm basically saying the exact same thing she said. Anyway, Allie's passing is still so fresh and painful. What you're feeling...the anger and the questioning is perfectly normal. Just keep talking about your feelings, cry when you need to...allow yourself to grieve. I recommend reading Steph's "My journey through grief" thread in this forum. It really helped me see that there is a healing light at the end of the tunnel.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

[Jazzygirl]

It doesn't surprise me that since we all share the same grief and love for our pets, that we would share the same thoughts about life and lessons. It gives me hope.

[litebrez]

I love the picture of Norah.............such a sweet and beautiful face.

I agree with Kathleen and Jazzygirls mom...........posted in support of your concerns.

It is a short time.... a painful time... and so normal to have such wonders.

Thank goodness for the two years of love and joy you shared with Norah. She had a life and it was made so special.......... because of you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers..........

Litebrez

[Pamela]

I too know all those questions of why. I had Moose for 9yrs, he came into my life having been rolled by a car, I spent his life trying to protect him from cars, and that is how I lost him...by a car. He came into my life the year inbetween my parents death, I feel like he was here for that time period...to be with me....then he left the same way he came...
And those are the hard questions in life, why God allows these things to happen... I think alot of it is the place that we live, there are alot of bad things that happen here for it is a world of darkness. God will restore what has been taken away on this earth, that is a great day of no more tears, pain, loss. Grief took me straight to the heart of God, it is the only way I know how to make it through this. Pamela

[Caroline]

I know that feeling of being cheated. I lost Lucy at age 5 to Lymphoma, just like Kathleen's dog Shiloh. I was angry over that for a long time, and I probably still am to a certain extent. I found myself telling people "I just lost my dog to cancer...She was ONLY 5!" It just didn't seem fair at all. There is no rhyme or reason to it, and no answers to the question of "why?" I am trying now to be grateful for the time we had together. Although it was short in years, it was long in meaning and love.

Take care, Caroline

[Ann H]

I don't know why your precious Allie didn't have more time upon the face of this earth. I think we all feel cheated that our babies didn't live longer but when they are so young it seems so horrible.

My Snookie was a breed that usually lives to be at least 15 and Chili Bean's breed was said to live to be a ripe old age. Chili Bean had just turned 10 and Snookie was almost 11. Still I wanted more time with them.

I don't know why my girls got cancer and died from it. I hate that terrible disease that takes pets, and people, both old and young. I hate any disease that takes anyone for that we all have a right to be angry. I am with Pamela we can only believe that God will restore what was lost to us on this earth. Perhaps as the others have stated maybe others need us too. Still it doesn't make it any easier.
Ann

[Norah'sMom]

Thank you all for your responses. Thanks for reminding me that "to everything there is a season. A time to be born and a time to die." I just have to remember that "it's not the years of your life, but the life in your years," that really count.

[CheriAnn]

Like you, I have questioned death more myself lately. My husband just lost his uncle on Good Friday. He lost his battle with cancer. This wonderful man was like a father to my husband and myself. He was the first family member that really made me feel welcomed into the family 10 years ago. As we sat in the funneral home Monday night for the viewing and services, I kept questioning God. This was honestly a GOOD man that was taken too young. He was 61 years old, which just seems too young to me these days. He and his wife (my husband's aunt) had unselfishly taken in a infant boy just 13 years ago that needed a loving home, even after their own children had all grown up. I watched that poor 13 year old boy just fall apart. I heard everyone there keep asking the same question too, "Why him?".

I had to make myself believe that there must always be a reason and a plan for every life. Cancer also took my precious Rachael. She didn't leave me as young as your precious Allie did, but it still hurt and didn't feel like enough time.

Unfortunately, along with the joys of life, we all must experience the sorrow of death. I just have to keep telling myself that I gave Rachael the VERY best life while she was here on earth. There was nothing else I could have done. I try to take comfort in knowing that she knew REAL love while she was here and she never had to spend a day with me starving or wondering where her next meal would come from. I know in God's eyes, I blessed my little girl as much as she blessed me. I was fortunate enough to have cared for one of God's precious creatures.

You also cared and gave Allie that special love that will bless you forever. Even though the time was short, I'm sure you wouldn't trade that time with Allie for anything else.

I know you have heard it over and over again, but time will one day heal your open wound.

You're in my thoughts and prayers too,
Cheri

[Crisonino Family]

Our family feels the same way. We lost our mini dachs Mirra to a conginetal disease. My wife is full of sorrow and so am I. She loved that little dog and we are going through the first hours withour her by our side. It hurts so so much.

We just can't believe it. I am angry and feel cheated. But most of all I feel that our little Mirra was cheated even more. She loved life.

I am glad there is a place like this to emote my grief.