Seventeen Years Of Love & Companionship With Kitty, emptiness and loneliness Options

[kathleenw]

It was only on March 10th we decided our devoted & loving companion should be put to rest. Callahan was almost 17yrs. old but tough right up to the end. It was 1988 when we found him... we intended on originally getting a female but, he was sitting on the porch looking out and it was he who took our hearts immediately. Without any doubt, he was the "one". We found our gray tiger tabby soul cat. The first night with him, we were watching an old Clint Eastwood film and decided such a fine cat deserved a fine name..hence "Callahan". Little did we know he would live up to his name on several occasions. But, his love and devotion for us never wavered. Being in our second year of marriage, we had no idea what paths we would take with him. In the past 16 years, he endured several moves. The biggest one being a move from FL to AZ on an airplane. He was so adaptable!!! Never one to complain too much, he always knew we were family and he would never be left out. He was the type of cat who would run to the door with me to see who was there! He would let vistors know immediately if they passed muster with him. Vets were always in big trouble when he went to visit or visa versa. We went through quite a few and were always happy to hear of a new one in town. He was feral with them white coats. But, I didn't blame him a bit. Two surgeries did it. The first being "fixed" the second for a wound from a fight. Plus, he hated shots. Who doesn't? Needless to say, he was tough. But, he was always there for us! Having no children, he was everything to us. We had routines every single day. He was so much a part of our life. The three of us were like a woven tapestry of love. How does one deal with the little reminders every single day? I burst out in tears at the smallest reminders of him. Tomorrow will mark three weeks since the vet came to our home and peacefully put him to sleep. He felt so bad that when the doc came in the house he just lifted his head and put it back down. No fight was left in him. We tried everything including the fluid therapy but, he continued on declining. We did not him to suffer any more. period. But, it is still so hard. One thing that people say who don't understand the bond is that "oh, you can get another kitty" That is the worst thing to say! He was EVERYTHING to us. Any helpful advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Kathleen

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[encouragingangel]

dearest kathleen,
my love to you and the spirit of Callahan. he's a beautiful cat. i'm so deeply sorry for your loss. i know the depth of your pain because on feb 25, i helped my 16 year old cat Jupiter, die. he died at home in my arms, with the help of a kind vet. we had also tried everything, including fluids and nothing worked. i can truly say that the pain is astonishing and deeper in a different way than what i experienced with my mother's death 15 months ago.
i also cry at every little thing, and am barely functioning on some days.
i love that you "wove your tapestry of love" and honor your pain.
sending you my support

[kimberlyheide]

Kathleen,

I am so sorry about your loss. I understand the pain you are going thru. I lost my 14 1/2 yr old cat Bubba to cancer Dec 22. I also never had children so my whole life was my cats. I still have Bubbas mom (mort) she is 16, and I know that time is getting very precious for us. I love what you said about "a woven tapestry of love" That is so beautiful.

Callahan is no longer suffering, and is with you in spirit always.

Kim

[Nanpacific]

Dear Kathleen,

I am sorry about your loss of Callahan. I know your pain - I lost my dog Sasha almost two months ago. I still cry all the time too. I also get angry when people tell me she was "only a dog". I have never understood how people could say to just get another one. I guess they have never had the bonds that we have with out furbabies or they would understand that you cannot replace a friend.

I don't have any advise to give you other than you will feel better in time. The first couple of weeks were very hard for me too. I still cannot think or talk about Sasha without crying, but at least I am not the basket case I was for the first couple of days.

I am thinking of you during this time.

Nancy

[lindal]

Hi Kathleen,
Your story touched me and my husband so much. We just put our precious Mitzi to rest two days ago. The pain is immense. I have never experienced such an intense void. The parallels to your situation are uncanny. We were married in 1987 and in May 1988, we got Mitzi, a sweet, precious part-Tabby (she had grey, brown and black stripes with white on her belly and paws). She was born on April 4, 1988, so she almost made it to her 17th birthday. My husband and I have never had children, so she has been our baby. We love her so much! The memories and little rituals abound. There are just two many to name. When we'd come home after being on a vacation, we would always have a group hug, with her laying between us. She let us carry her around just like a baby in our arms.
She was diagnosed in December with chronic renal failure and has just gone downhill rapidly. Her little body said it was time to go. The pain of that day will forever be etched in our mind's eye. We buried her in front of the bird feeder hanging at the tree line of the woods behind our house.
Thank you for sharing your story and I, too, think you said it best: "a woven tapestry of love."
My heart is with you too as we both deal with this grief.
Linda

[Ann H]

Hi Kathleen, I am so sorry for the loss of
your precious Callahan. He must have
been a very special boy and I know you
must miss him so very much. I hate it
when someone says it was just a cat or
just a dog. To me they were my children.
His picture was a little large but I was able
to see what a doll he was.
Ann

[Snickster]

Kathleen, what a spectacular picture of Callahan! He was most definitely a beautiful little sweetheart!!

We know just how devestated and lost you're feeling losing such a close piece of your heart. Our babies are such a part of us that it feels like we're lost ourselves.

Take comfort in knowing that Callahan is, as we speak, prancing around with all of our babies and having a blast! Right now they live without pain, suffering and sadness. Knowing my Inky, he dashed right over to give Callahan a giant "how ya doin?" meow with a paw extended in handshake.

Come here often to post all of your wonderful stories about Callahan and his antics. This is the place where I truly believe that your healing will begin... with these wonderful, caring and understanding people.

Hugs,

Pat

[Pamela]

Ahhhh so many years uh? It is so hard when they are suddenly not there anymore. Then the days start to pile up and the razor sharp edge of the pain subsides. Then it is like a saddness that will always be there. I had my 16 yr old girl summer kitty put to sleep in 2001, I still have her son...Gato Manx...he will be 17 this year. My son is 31 so they are what filled my empty nest syndrome.. In fact just a few years ago my family consisted of me and 3 dogs and 2 cats...they have all passed except Gato..all my furbabies left since 2001. They were all eldery so I had them for many years...it has been a hard few years...then my Moose getting hit by the car was icing on the cake, it was all I could endure and I shut down for a few months.
I have made it through this as we all will, but the pain is brash, I dont know how I could have endured with out the help of my lord and this site. I lived on it for 3 months, it was my life line, and I knew truly for the first time I wasnt alone. We are a special type of people that have this kind of love...it is a special gift. Pamela

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[deedee]

You are right that "you can get another kitty" is heartless. It comes from people who don't know the bond that exists between us and our animal buddies. The grief is so painful - we know them and their personalities. We share our home and our time and our love with them. They are firmly entrenched in our everyday lives that the loss, their absence is palpable.

My condolences for your loss.

dee dee

[Kathleen032]

Dear Kathleen,

Callahan was such a beautiful kitty! I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you gave him a wonderful 17 years and he did the same for you in return.

We're all too familiar with the pain and saddness that you're feeling right now. This is a wonderful place to come and share your thoughts and feelings. The people here are so kind...you'll never hear "oh you can get another kitty" here...because we all know there will never be another Callahan.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

[Rusty's Mom]

Dear Kathleen,

I'm so very sorry about the loss of your precious Callahan. You gave him such a good life. Instead of listening to those who tell you to "replace" him come here, as this site is filled with the most caring people in the world who know exactly how you feel. This journey of grief is very difficult and the pain seems unbearable at times but you will get through and we're all here to help.

Thinking of you.

Take care,
Lynn

[luv_my_catz]

I am so sorry for you and the pain you are experiencing from the loss of your beautiful kitty friend ~ I lost Amber on Monday after nearly 20 years of sharing the ups and downs of life together ~ There is a blank space now where she used to be and although I have another cat named CC - it is not the same - Amber was the boss - the noisy cymbal of life around here - her little soul gave me so much ~ we shared the years from age 35 until now at age 55 where I find the silence of my bedroom deafening ~ her music still plays - flowers grace the table where she used to jump up and eat her food and generally comment on the day ~ I am at a place where I cannot relate to the emptiness I feel ~ but the sharing and empathy I have found here this week has helped immensely ~ I want to extend that same comfort to you ~ we are all feeling the same sadness ~ yet ~ it is because of our capacity to understand and love our animal friends that they had the wonderful life to share with us and give us the most special of days together ~ I hope that one day I will be able to use this to become a more loving person and hopefully make the world a little better than I could have before all this happened to me ~ Peace to You this day ~ Kathryn, Angel Amber and C.C.