Missing Jameel, Not wanting to let go... Options

[cwgrlsrck]

It's been over a month since I put my beloved horse Jameel down. It's been several weeks since I've been to the site as well. I have not allowed myself to cry or feel those painful emotions that go along with the loss of my pet, that was until yesterday when my friend came out to trim my other horses feet. He asked where the "old black mare" was and when I said that she had colicked and I had to put her to sleep, it was like tearing an old wound open again. I so much want her to be there every morning waiting for me when I wake up. I can't stop looking for her.

I can't seem to let go of her and believing that she will be there waiting for me when I open the door to go feed the others. I can't seem to get past this...

[luv_my_catz]

I send so many healing thoughts to you ~ the loss of a faithful friend is something that touches us so deeply ~ we are so blessed to have shared this earth with our animal spirit friends and guides to help us along our way ~ You have such compassion and love for you dear Jameel and that is such a gift ~ I feel the same loss ~ my Amber has gone from this earth ~ and she was a faithful feline friend and spirit guide for nearly 20 years ~ we grew old together ~ I was 35 when she came to me and now I am 55 ~ I feel so disconnected without her ~ however please know that you are not alone ~ those who come here are all feeling the same grief ~ Blessings to You ~ In Peace ~ Kathryn, Angel Amber and C.C. (this cat is a big mush of a boy ~ but I cannot find comfort there yet ~ I know how you feel that way~) Take Care ~

[Ann H]

I am glad to see you are back and sorry to hear you have not allowed yourself to cry. I know how very painful it is and my heart has had a hard time healing too. But don't you see as painful as it is we all need to cry. We need the tears to help cleanse the heart and to allow us to grieve for all we have lost. All it will do is fester and the scars will never heal if we hold the pain and tears in.

The tears are for healing and I know many people say our babies would not want us to keep being sad. They say to remember the good times and that's what I do. But sometimes it is those memories that keep our hearts and souls longing for our babies. They loved us with a love so pure and good.

I know that it is not good to cry all the time but when I yearn for my darlings I can't help it. I just want to be holding them and touching them and have them run to greet me. But these things can never be again upon the face of this earth. So I think we have every right, every reason to cry when we need too.

Stay with us this time, let us hold your hand and share in your pain. The pain does lessen but the longing to see and hold our babies remain. It is hard to give up their earthly body but we will make it. We will learn to learn a new way of living with out them. We will learn to laugh and smile again and perhaps give our hearts to many others throughout our life time. Don't give up, hang in there and come back often. Hugs
Ann

[Jazzygirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Jameel sounds like a beautiful horse.
Ann is right...the tears are a paradox...they hurt and heal at the same time. Sometimes we can't feel how they heal, but I know for myself, I have to have hope that in time, I'll be as healed as I possibly can. I lost my dog 2 weeks ago tonight, at this exact time....I can't believe it...it seems like AGES ago but then again not.
We're all here feeling the same things and simultaneously leaning on each other and supporting each other. Please post when you're ready to talk and we'll be here to listen. Post a picture when you get a chance too. I'd love to see her.

[Ladypurr]

Dear Cwgrlsrck,

I am so sorry that you lost your beloved Jameel. Her name sounds Arabic. Was she an Arabian? I have two Arabians--a mother and son. My gelding's name is Khem-Aliq and his mother is Moonlyte Velvet. She's 25 last month and he'll be 19 in May. My, how time flies.

We share your sorrow. Losing a beloved horse is very traumatic. they are so dependent upon us and when they're not there, they leave a terrible void.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless you,

--Susan
~ a voice for the voiceless ~

[Pamela]

cwgrlsrckI just wanted to say to you I know how you long for your horse. These beings that grace us, come in all shapes and sizes, each one has a unique personality and there is not another exact. I think they come to us for reasons...
Not crying is not a good thing because it comes out in other ways..the grief cannot stay down!! My grief for my parents came out 2ys later, not that I did'nt grieve when I lost them but I didn't grieve as fully as I needed to and supressed alot of feelings. Then I wondered why I started having panic attacks, tired all the time, couldn't make decisions...it was that grief I had tucked away. I had dreaded that time(losing my parents) for my whole life and it was just a bit more than I could handle.
So maybe this is your lesson......to not hold things in anymore. Pamela