Guilt, Grief Options

[Mike]

I am a 50 year old man and my 20 year old cat (Eeyore) is on her last legs with kidney disease.
She lives at my mothers the past 5 years because my wife is allergic to her. I try and see her every day, but I am afraid of her dying. I am afraid my emotions will be so horrendous and my thoughts! Donna is very understanding , we have been together for five years, even suggesting to bring her to live here. Funny, I feel closer to this cat than my wife. I cant explain it, shes been with me through alot.
Thanks pet support for letting me share this. I really appreciate this.
Love to all, Mike

[Ann H]

Mike, I am so sorry that your little Eeyore is so bad off. It is such a painful thing to lose our sweet babies and it takes a long time to recover from the pain. Come and tell us more about your baby it really helps a lot when you have someone who knows what the pain is like. I pray that your baby will have a full recovery. That's so sad that your wife is allergic and it must make it hard for you.
Ann

[Romeo's_daddy]

Mike,

I'm sure this is a very tough time for you. I have been spared the experience of seeing one of my pets die from old age, but I have an old dog and imagine I will have to deal with it within the next few years. I'm scared too. Having lost an animal unexpectedly, all I can say is to cherish every moment you have left. Be strong around the kitty. Spoil her. Remember that you've given her a great life and even though she is living with your Mom, she is being spoiled there as well. And it's ok to be emotional when she has gone. It is ok to be racked with grief. They are part of our families. Their bond with us is unspoken, which is what makes it so special. I don't think it's possible to love a human being in the same way you love an animal, or to be close in the same way either. When I had a girlfriend for 3 years, I always greeted the animals first, I always gave them more attention. Maybe that's why I'm single ??? We will be here for you every step of the way and never be afraid to post your fears or your sadness or your grief. Hang in there as best you can.

Steve

[hegelsmom]

First your Eeyore has been a very lucky girl to have been so loved, and be blessed
with such a long life. Many people on this site have lost pets at an advanced age,
there are others that lost them much younger and unexpectedly. It's never easy
to let them go. I wasn't ready to lose my cat at 11 years old, and I wouldn't have
been ready at 20. My childhood cat died at 19. I had him from age 11 to 30.
It was very, very painful. And like you, he lived with my mother. I had left home,
and he had stayed there. And like you, I felt the guilt, had I gone home often
enough? I was over a hundred miles away, so it wasn't everyday.

I know it is hard, but you have truly been blessed, and Eeyore has been blessed
with a wonderful life of love.
Come back to LS, it really does help to "be" with other people who share your
love of animals.
Take care.

[pjlpjl7]

I'm very sorry to here that your baby is so sick. I unexpectedly lost my 7 year old sweetie 15 days ago due to a tumor . Oh it's so hard I still cry everyday. But I can tell you finding this site with all these great people really is helping. People thought we were being to upset. Then when I came here the compasssion of these folks because of their losses has helped me know it's okay to hurt this bad. You have been lucky to have so many years of that wonderful love from your baby so I know that has to be hard to not ache. This was my first pet ever and I never knew about all the love they give. You found a great place to come to, let us know how things are going. I am not as good as a writer as most of these people but I keep trying because I know how they are helping me to recover. Bless you Patty

[IndysMom]

Dear Mike-
I am so sorry to hear that Eyeore is so ill.
I lost my first pet to illness 4 weeks ago. Indy had been sick and battling a multitude of diseases for over a year
and his last 6 months were tough. I was so very afraid too. I didn't want to lose him and I didn't want him to suffer.
I have an understanding spouse, but Indy was my best buddy and in my life before my husband. Indy helped me through some very tough times including a horrible divorce and incredible lonliness. So I also understand the different relationships we have with our pets.
Please let us know about Eyeore's progress.
You are in my thoughts,
Fran

[jillybromley]

Dear Mike

This must be such a difficult time for you ... my heart goes out to you. 19 years is such a long time to have had your precious Eeyore, clearly she is a very special little girl and means the world to you and it sounds as if you have been through a lot together. So much love and so many memories must have built up over all those years and I can understand why you feel you will be overwhelmed with your feelings when you finally lose her.

It must be doubly difficult for you with her not living in the same house with you. I'm sure she is very loved and cared for with your mother but I know how much you must want to be with your little treasure as much as possible when you know she hasn't got long to live.

Donna sounds such a kind caring person offering to have Eeyore with you both for her final days, weeks, months. Would that be better for you, to have her at home with you?, or would it unsettle her to move her now?

Mike, please continue to let us know how things are going with your precious Eeyore and also know that I will be thinking of you.

When the time finally comes and Eeyore has to go to rainbow bridge please do know that everyone here will be right here to support you in your loss.

Thinking of you and dear Eeyore
with love
jilly

[ChrissyW]

Dear Mike,
Please spend as much time with Eeyore as you can if you are afraid the end is near. You will appreciate it and so will your precious baby. It is a hard process but it also sounds like you have wonderful support at home and your wife understands. Please come here often we all would love to hear about Eeyore ( I just love that name!!!). You are in my thoughts.
ChrissyW

[Caroline]

20 years is a long time to become attached to a kitty. I am sending positive thoughts your way. I hope everything is okay...
Caroline
p.s. I love the name Eeyore. It is so cute.

[zoeysdad]

Hi Mike,

I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. All of us here at LS fully understand and share your pain and we will be here to listen anytime you need to talk. Please keep us updated on how things are going....just being able to talk with people who truly care about what you are going through will help more than you know.

I'll join Caroline and many others by sending positive thoughts your way.

__Jim

[dietersmom]

Hi Mike,
I'm sorry to hear that Eeyore is ill. I understand the comment regarding feeling closer to the cat than to your wife Our little furbabies love us unconditionally and are there for us in any event and provide such companionship and are never judgmental. If Donna is ok with it, bring Eeyore home and let her have her own room as to not cause any allergy problems for your wife. It would probably mean the world to you and Eeyore to have that special time together. Just wanted you to know that we are here for you to come and write your feelings and just share with people who truly understand and care.
thinking of you
Libby