Utter Devastation, Abby's Passing Options

[Abby's Mommy]

I do not wish to share this post.

[DJ - Edgar, Jess...]

We're here for you always...

[Ann H]

Big Hugs but maybe you should let it all hang out as the used to say back in my day. I know the heartbreak has all but destroyed my heart too. It just hurts so much and words can't even begin to tell how bad it is. You just have to wonder how your heart goes on beating when it feels like you can't hardly breath and feels like there is a big hole where your heart once used to be. It feels like the tears will never stop and it feels like there will never be another happy time in your life. It may take a very long time before you begin to feel a little bit better, but we know life will never be the same. Even after our hearts heal there will still be scars and scabs on it from the loss of the love of our lives.
Love, Ann

[hegelsmom]

Abby's mommy,
I have been very worried about you. I sent you a private message.
My grief is unbearable as well. Nothing is really helping.
There is a measure of comfort in coming here,and being with people that understand
your pain.
I am going to see a private counselor tomorrow. I went to a pet loss group on the
13th. There was only myself and one lady,plus a psychologist. She had never done
one the groups before. She was well meaning, but it wasn't that helpful.
It took the Iowa pet loss hotline people over a week to get back to me.
The girl on the phone said she was a sophmore in college. No offense to young
people, but all she did was sit on the phone while I talked and cried. After about
30 seconds of silence on her part, I just hung up the phone.

The man I am going to see tomorrow seems very compassionate. He said he will
see me completely free of charge tomorrow, and if I need futher visits he will
work with me if I cannot afford it. The only problem is, it is going to be quite
a drive. My husband has rearranged his work schedule in the morning, so that I
do not have to take the baby with me. Whatever advice or comfort this man can
offer, I will gladly share it with everyone on the board. I know there isn't a "magic
bullet" out there, but I have never really felt a pain quite as intense as this, (and I
have had some pretty lousy to say the least things happen... haven't most of us?)

You pet is your baby, and support system. I know Hegel was my little "rock". That
constant in the storm. You can't replace that. Even if you are blessed with friends
that are good listeners, or good family support, people get busy, they can say the
wrong thing, etc.. our fur babies are always there for us. I don't have a lot of
human support around me. I know that you don't either. I know you feel alone,
and isolated.

Seven years ago, my childhood cat Muff, died at the age of 19. I had lived away
from home for years, and so had my sister. My father worked a long disance away,
and only came home on the weekends. When Muff died, my mother was totally
alone. I was away at college, my sister lived in Europe. Her mother and father
had been dead for years. The loneliness was overwhelming for her. I drove
home as much as I could, but I'm sure it wasn't enough. My sister lived in Europe
for over 10 years, and pretty much wrote the family off. She would call once or
twice a year. My mother had no one. Eight months later, I brought her a kitten.
I don't think she was really ready, but in time, Maggie has become her favorite.
I say favorite, because somehow, she has now ended up with 10 cats!
The recent passing of my cat upset my mom greatly. She not only misses him, but
is reminded of Muff's passing also. She still thinks of him, and so do I. I had him
from age 11 to age 30. That's quite a few presidents, a war, too many boyfriends,
and lousy jobs. I wasn't home with him much after age 18 or so, but he represented
"home" to me. I asked about him everytime I called, and my mom signed his name
and hers to every card and letter she ever wrote to me. I think about those months
she was so alone down there, and I feel guilty that I probably didn't get home more.
I should have tried harder, to make up for her other daughter, my sister.

I don't know why I ended up going in to all of this, but I'm sure it has been because
I really have been concerned about you. I have thought about how lonesome my
mother was, those years ago.
From one soul pain to another, please take care.
Hegelsmom

[Pamela]

I think hegelsmom is doing the right thing to find healing. I also have been worried about you. Maybe you should talk to your family doc at this point and see if there is anything they can do to help you through. I am getting ready for some big changes, I am moving from this rental. It is very odd you see because after Moose died I couldn't get out of here fast enough, I would have packed and ran that day, but that is how I react to things my mind cant handle, now that I am moving, it is strange because I am leaving the last place Moose and I lived, I am leaving those corners of the home he occupied. I am leaving the street where I lost him. It seems like another ending. I am also struggling with depression and loss of self esteem, I just have a hard time getting excited about anything and just want to crawl into a corner and hide from the world....but meanwhile rent is not being paid because the 8 wks I was completely nonfunctional my bills pilled up. The loss of Moose has caused so many changes in my life, I'm just hanging on to it by a thread somedays, feel like somedays I am truly losing my mind. Losing our babies effects so much of our being it is a soul ache. Pamela

[BabyHannahsMom]

I'm so sorry ya'll are having such a hard time. I know what it's like. It's nine months tomorrow since Hannah's been gone. I can't believe it, and I really, really do miss her so very much, and I still think about her almost all the time. But, most days I am actually finally doing pretty well. I never, ever thought that would happen. It really takes a long time, but I promise things will get better. Please believe that. Don't lose hope, okay. I really am sorry I haven't been on here much lately. I'll try to be here more often. I really understand how devastated and lost you are feeling. I really, really do, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you.
Love,
Marcia