Sadness Heartbreak Sorrow, Snookie left this world 2 weeks ago Options

[Ann H]

It just seems so unreal that my darling girl has been gone for 2 weeks today. I think instead of it getting easier it has only been growing worse by the day. Oh I don't cry as much as I was and it's easier to put on a fake smile for people, but the longing to hold my little Snookie is getting worse.

I can't sleep very well and I often wake up calling Snookie's name. I have lost 16 pounds since she left this world 2 weeks ago today. Oh sure I needed to get rid of a lot more pounds than that but not like this I feel sick all the time. I have always enjoyed food and it shows so maybe if I'm lucky I will lose more.

I am just so tired and sad all the time and wish I could be alone somewhere and not have to get up and run this household for a while. I feel like I want to withdraw from everyone in my life and just have the luxury of not having to pretend things will be alright. I want to be alone with my memories of my little silver girl.

Things will never will be ok, I will never hold my little girl again in this world or kiss her sweet face, or be able to take her places with me. I will never hear her bark again or be able to play with her, hug her, or have her lick my tears away. I will never see her look at me with those eyes of love like only she could.

My 6 grand children will never be able to hug or play with Snookie again and seek comfort from holding her. The faces of my grand daugher Sara and I reflect the terrible loss and longing that we feel. The look on her face says everything that a millon words could never say about love and loss.

Sara was so sad that she did not see me take the camera and take this shot of her. She needs me to help her heal and I think I need her even more. Maybe together she and I and the rest of the family can find some peace and happiness but I really don't see any relief in sight for me in the near future. I just want back what I can't have my darling Snookie!!!!
Ann

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