The Silence Is Deafening Options

[trace123]

How to live with the silence? My home is no longer a home without my Klaus. I hear his footsteps, the jangle of his collar, the sound of his big body laying down in front of my door. The lingering echoes of his time with me will haunt me until I can hold him again.

I know that is normal to grieve and it is alright to be sad, but the pain hurts my heart and has permanently bruised my soul. I wish my Klaus was here. I wish I was with him.

[Kathleen032]

Dear Brett,

I know how sad you are and I'm so sorry. I can remember for weeks after Shiloh died I would cry on my way home from work because I knew she wouldn't be there to greet me at the door. Shiloh used to wait outside the bathroom door for me in the morning while I showered...I remember the day after she died opening the bathroom door not to see her there...I felt as if someone kicked me in the stomach. I know you're in so much pain...I can tell you that it will get better with time. I still have bad days, but not as many as I used to. You're in my thoughts.

Again, I'm so sorry about Klaus.
Kathleen

[dietersmom]

Brett,
I'm sorry for your loss of Klaus. I remember writing those same words "the silence is deafening". I walked in a fog for a couple of months and daily experienced the "oh my god he's gone....he's really gone." I work from home and Deet Man was with me 24 hours a day and it was and is the biggest loss for me in my life so far and I'm 40 years old.

He was my little special "life force" that spent his short, but wonderful life with me. I'm so grateful to God that I even got to meet this special soul, much less spend 14 1/2 years with him. He taught me so many things. It's right at 4 months now and I promise you, that one day you won't feel completely devastated every minute of the day. But for now, cry as much as you need, they are truly healing tears and come here and write what you are feeling, it really helps to communicate with people who understand. There are so many wonderful people at LS who will be here for you.
Your in my thoughts
Libby

[zoeysdad]

Hi Brett,

I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Klaus. The two of you obviously shared a special relationship and I know losing him has left a huge void in your heart.

All of us here at LS fully understand and share your pain and coming here and talking about your feelings is the key to getting through this most painful period in your life. Please keep us informed of how things are going....there are so many wonderful people here who are always willing to listen.

__Jim

[Pamela]

The void is a huge one, the silence is the worst. When the leaves dance across the sidewalk it sounds like Moose's nails. It took me a long time to be able to function. The only thing that helped me was to come here and post, it helped me to know I wasnt alone devastated but not alone. Pamela

[kimberlyheide]

The silence is the hardest part. You can be surrounded by living things in your home but the sound of your very special friend is not there and that hurts.

[trace123]

Kimberly,

It is certainly helpful to know that I am not alone, that many of our fellow posters are also in pain, sad and suffering through the grief that comes when we lose one of our fur babies.

I was putting on my jacket to leave the house this morning and in my right ear I could've sworn that I heard my sweet boy's collar jangle. It set me off crying uncontrollably as I quickly realized that he was not there, nor would he be ever again. I walked into my house last night, for the first time since his death, to an earrily quiet apartment. No patter of his paws on the tile floor, no jumpping up and down in anticipation to go out, no shaking his behind and dancing as if to celebrate my return home.

There was nothing to greet me but silence, deafening silence. I do not know how I am going to survive this. The reality of the situation is that my sweetheart of a boy, Klaus, is no longer with me physically. I think back to a line that Tom Hanks said in Sleepless in Seattle. In the scene where he is on the phone with the radio psychologist, she asks him what he is going to do, how is he going to get through this (the death of his wife). He responded by saying that he was going to get up each day, get out of bed, breath in and out all day long and to try remember that his life was perfect for a time.

I know that with each day, it might get a bit easier to get out of bed and breath in and out all day, however, I do not think that I will ever be able to reconcile that I did have the perfect boy with me for a short time, and I took his love, devotion and friendship for granted.

[kimberlyheide]

Your Klaus loved you very much, and trust me he knows that you loved him more than anything. Our furbabies love unconditionally. You are being way to hard on yourself and that is a part of this grieving process we are all going thru. Trust me I have my moments where my mind starts putting guilt thoughts in my head about Bubba. The old "if I would have done..."he would still be alive. I have guilt feelings of leaving bubba at the vet and his final moments before he was operated on. But I also know I was trying to save his life in hopes for a small miracle. I have thoughts of the last 2 years, and what my exhusband put me and the cats thru. I wonder if that stressed him so bad he got cancer. I can go on and on....I ask questions all the time. Klaus loved you unconditionally and he knew that you loved him very very much.

[CheriAnn]

Brett,

I think Kimberly brought out an excellent point!
Animals love UNCONDITIONALLY. Klaus NEVER questioned your silence that morning. He didn't think any less of you, and knew you loved him. Unlike us, I'm sure they don't need to hear the words to be reassured. When we say them, we feel better. They just love us SO much that they adore anything we say and do with them. You took good care of him that morning, like you always did. You took him for a nice walk. Try to stop dwelling on what you didn't say, and try to instead remember that beautiful walk the two of you shared together. I'm sure he was thinking of that after you left. These guilty thoughts and terrible things you are thinking about yourself are coming from YOU and not Klaus. Such an adorable loving little boy would never dwell on negative thoughts about you. PLEASE forgive yourself.

Tell yourself over and over that humans need that verbal reassurance, not animals. They live and rely on instincts, and he knew how much you loved him, even that last morning as you left.

Cheri