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> How Do I Say Goodbye?
Kellyt
post Nov 18 2019, 09:15 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 29-October 12
From: NY
Member No.: 7,808



I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that we have an appointment later this evening to let our cat, Stinky (formally known as Chloe, but she’s been a stinker so the nickname just took) transition peacefully. She has a mass in her mouth, and two vets have told us that all we can do is make her comfortable. She’s not eating much anymore and seems to be uncomfortable so we decided, after much thoughtful discussion and many tears, that it was time to say goodbye.

Stinky is the last of our four cats-we had her sister, her mother, and another cat, all rescued by my husband. Losing Stinky means the end of an era in our lives, an era that was, quite frankly, in many ways happier than today, and that’s part of why I’m so sad. It was a time when life held more promise, we looked forward to the future in a different way, and we hadn’t yet faced the tragedies, losses, and heartbreak that we’ve more recently endured. Yet throughout those heartbreaks, we had our precious cats, and dog-who we still have- to take care of and they’ve brought us such comfort. I’m so heartbroken and afraid to be without Stinky and her love and companionship, but I’m more afraid I’ll regret it if we don’t let her go peacefully and wait too long, so the decision has been made.

I’m spending today at home, trying to stay present and enjoy her to the fullest. My heart is so very heavy and is breaking, but I have to stay strong for her.
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moon_beam
post Nov 20 2019, 01:05 PM
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Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so glad your beloved Stinky's transition from this physical realm was peaceful, and that she was able to do so in the place she loves the most - - her home surrounded by her family and familiar sights, sounds, and smells. I know so very well from first hand experience how deafening the sound of silence is in your home right now. Scientific studies prove that every living being has an "energy", and when it's no longer present in the family unit - - for whatever reason - - the family unit literally physically feels the effects of the loss. It can also feel like the house itself is grieving the loss. This is one of the many reasons why the grief adjustment journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, for your life's daily routines are now changed. You will find yourself thinking, "oh, it's time to get Stinky her dinner, or treats, - - " or whatever your daily activities were and then your heart will remember you no longer need to "do" for your beloved Stinky, and your heart will break anew. But I promise you, Kelly, it won't always be like this. Hopefully as your deep grief eases you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Stinky and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and you might just hear her say in your heart "I'm okay - - I love you always" - - for she has taken a part of you with her to heaven's perfect garden, and she has blessed you with the honor of being her soul, and sole, heir to her eternal love.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often you need us, Kelly.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Kellyt
post Nov 24 2019, 03:51 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 71
Joined: 29-October 12
From: NY
Member No.: 7,808



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 20 2019, 01:05 PM) *
Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so glad your beloved Stinky's transition from this physical realm was peaceful, and that she was able to do so in the place she loves the most - - her home surrounded by her family and familiar sights, sounds, and smells. I know so very well from first hand experience how deafening the sound of silence is in your home right now. Scientific studies prove that every living being has an "energy", and when it's no longer present in the family unit - - for whatever reason - - the family unit literally physically feels the effects of the loss. It can also feel like the house itself is grieving the loss. This is one of the many reasons why the grief adjustment journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, for your life's daily routines are now changed. You will find yourself thinking, "oh, it's time to get Stinky her dinner, or treats, - - " or whatever your daily activities were and then your heart will remember you no longer need to "do" for your beloved Stinky, and your heart will break anew. But I promise you, Kelly, it won't always be like this. Hopefully as your deep grief eases you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Stinky and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and you might just hear her say in your heart "I'm okay - - I love you always" - - for she has taken a part of you with her to heaven's perfect garden, and she has blessed you with the honor of being her soul, and sole, heir to her eternal love.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often you need us, Kelly.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam



Thank you so much, moon_beam. Your words have brought me much comfort. I have people in my life who are very supportive, thankfully, but not everyone truly "gets it" to the extent that you do, or at least they don't express themselves in the same way. It's as if you knew exactly what I needed to "hear". I can't believe it's been 6 days since we let Stinky go. It often feels like it's been ages already, and that makes me so sad. I've been reliving the moments and hours from this time last week, and I wish I could go back and just kiss her one more time. sad.gif I do still find myself automatically thinking about doing something for her, especially during mealtimes or in the morning, when we had our special bonding time. While I was driving earlier, I almost stopped at Petco to pick up cat food, and when it hit me that I didn't have to, it was one more heartbreaking reminder that she's gone. As difficult as those reminders are, I'm almost dreading when the time comes that I won't have those reactions anymore, because it will mean that I've more fully adjusted to life without her, and there's part of me that honestly doesn't want to, even though I know that's not what she would want. So, I will move forward, one small step at a time, through the grief journey.

Another thing that I'm struggling with is that when we said goodbye to her mother, Mama (at the vet's office back in May), I felt her presence around the house afterward, and it brought me great comfort. I also felt that I was receiving signs from Mama cat that she was ok-more than ok-and that she loved me. With Stinky, it pains me to say that I'm having a hard time picking up on anything, and the lonely feeling is so much more intense. I guess that's because Stinky was our last sweet kitty, and while my husband and I still have Gracie, we miss our cats terribly; they were part of our lives for almost 18 years. I will keep looking and listening, in my heart especially, for signs from her that she's ok and that she loves me.

I hope you're having a nice weekend, moon_beam.

With much gratitude,
Kelly
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