How Do I Say Goodbye? Options

[Kellyt]

I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that we have an appointment later this evening to let our cat, Stinky (formally known as Chloe, but she’s been a stinker so the nickname just took) transition peacefully. She has a mass in her mouth, and two vets have told us that all we can do is make her comfortable. She’s not eating much anymore and seems to be uncomfortable so we decided, after much thoughtful discussion and many tears, that it was time to say goodbye.

Stinky is the last of our four cats-we had her sister, her mother, and another cat, all rescued by my husband. Losing Stinky means the end of an era in our lives, an era that was, quite frankly, in many ways happier than today, and that’s part of why I’m so sad. It was a time when life held more promise, we looked forward to the future in a different way, and we hadn’t yet faced the tragedies, losses, and heartbreak that we’ve more recently endured. Yet throughout those heartbreaks, we had our precious cats, and dog-who we still have- to take care of and they’ve brought us such comfort. I’m so heartbroken and afraid to be without Stinky and her love and companionship, but I’m more afraid I’ll regret it if we don’t let her go peacefully and wait too long, so the decision has been made.

I’m spending today at home, trying to stay present and enjoy her to the fullest. My heart is so very heavy and is breaking, but I have to stay strong for her.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I do understand so very well how you're feeling. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are experiencing is very normal deep grief. Clinical professionals are now recognizing that the grief journey for the loss of a beloved companion is the same as for the loss of a human family member or friend. Some people find it helpful to do a memorial scrapbook or video to honor their beloved companion, or make a donation to a local shelter or veterinary clinic or other organization in loving memory of their beloved companion. Some people find it helpful to do a memorial journal which helps them to focus on the many treasured memories they share with their beloved companion.

Kelly, it's quite natural for you to feel concerned about "forgetting" your beloved Stinky. Please believe me when I say this will NEVER happen. Even now in my very senior years I can still recall the precious souls who shared my years as a little girl, and I can still find a mist come to my eyes when I remember the moment in time when they were no longer physically with me. Although we do "adjust" to their physical absence our hearts will always and forever hold dear the memories we have of each of our beloved companions as we continue our earthly journey. In my adult years I still remember being grateful for the privacy of the restroom at work where I could retreat to regain my composure so that I could go back to my desk to resume my work, and at the end of the day getting into my car for the drive home and having the flood gates of gut-wrenching sobbing flow freely from the deep sorrow that had been suppressed all day. So I do know from first hand experience how you're feeling.

I also want to reassure you that at some time, perhaps when you least expect it, you will feel your beloved Stinky close to you. It may be through a particular memory or song that you hear, or perhaps in a dream - - but at some point in time you will feel her close to you to reassure you that her sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam