Rescue Cat

I need help! I rescued four cats and rehomed three of them. The other cat (Oscar) had Leukemia and I had him on a waiting list at a rescue that takes cats with Leukemia. I tried to find him a home but nobody was interested because of his Leukemia. Oscar was a VERY sweet cat and because of me, he is dead!

I have been bringing Oscar out in my living room every night and my dogs have been fine with him. I have been keeping Oscar in a spare bedroom the majority of the time. This morning I opened the door so he could come out if he wanted to, I meant to close the door before I went to work but I forgot. When my husband came home he found Oscar dead. He had some blood around his neck area. I think it was my Jack Russell Tango that killed Oscar because he has claw marks on his head and neck.

I completely blame myself! I have rescued many animals and I'm a huge animal lover. I will never forgive myself for not closing that door and putting Oscar in such a horrible situation. I don't know how I'm going to live with myself knowing I caused Oscar's death.

Past Posts

Is there anyway to view all of my past postings? I would like to view my first post in 2009.

Fate?

For those of you that don't know my story... I have lost 3 amazing dogs in the last year and a half. My soul dog Callaway died from Lymphoma on September 16, 2009 - he was 14, my JRT Brando died on July 24, 2010 - he was 15 1/2, and my JRT mix Barney died during surgery from an obstructed bowel on March 2, 2011 at the age of 4.

I have changed completely as a person from these loses and actually feel like I'm a more caring and compassionate person. The grief was so intense that a couple of times I almost committed myself to a hospital to get help... I have never written these words but I'm glad I have... it gives you an idea of just how devasted I was, which I know you all have felt the same devastation.

The reason for this note is to tell you about Kelo. He is a husky that I rescued in a bad situation. I don't think I've told anybody on this site before but I rescue animals, I truly believe that was what I was put on this earth to do. Anyway, back to Kelo...

So, I rescued Kelo this past January and quickly became attached to him. However, my dog Barney, who had several issues wouldn't leave him alone. Barney would constantly attack Kelo which was no life for Kelo and I was also worried about Kelo snapping and attacking Barney. So, I contacted a husky rescue group, I showed Kelo's pictures to the President of the rescue and she instantly fell in love with him, he looked just like her dog that had to be put down a year prior. She decided to adopt him so I drove Kelo from Jackson, Michigan to Indianapolis, Indiana which is 5 hours away. I wanted to meet the lady and make sure that Kelo's new digs would be acceptable to me. It was a very sad day when I dropped him off, I couldn't stop hugging him and I was crying out of control but I knew I had to do it for Barney and for Kelo.

Over the next month and a half everything was going well until Barney stopped eating and I noticied that he wasn't going to the bathroom. I won't go into the story because I have told it on here before but after several visits to the vet in a 2-3 week period the vet decided that surgery was needed. By the time Barney got into surgery it was too late, when the vet opened him up fluid came gushing out, his bowel had obstructed. The vet continued with the surgery praying that Barney would make it thru but just as she was going to close Barney up she lost him, but brought him back to life, and then 15 minutes later Barney was gone for good.

Fast forward to April 26th... I get a call from the lady who adopted Kelo, she said that she heard from another rescue group that I was wanting to adopt a husky. I told her I have been looking for a couple of weeks. I am still so sad over losing Barney but I feel that I need to give another needy dog a good life. She asked me what kind of dog I was looking for and I told her one like Kelo and she said, "how about Kelo?" I was in shock! She has had Kelo since January and has tried to get her 10 year old Malamute Sam to warm up to Kelo but he won't. Sam has started to get very depressed and she just can't let Sam live that way or Kelo... she was crying as she told the story. She said the only person she could give him to was me because she knows that he was happy with me. Well, of course I said yes and I will be getting him in a couple of weeks.

I always felt that Kelo was meant to be with me... him and I just had a connection. I actually have a peaceful feeling that everything played out the way it was supposed to. Barney had a lot of issues and I always questioned if he was happy, I know he was happy when he was laying in my lap sleeping but that's all he basically did. He was only 4 years old and acted like a senior dog, he acted that way since I rescued him when he was 8 months old. The two neurologists I took him to said he was not "normal" but they could never figure out what the problem was. So I feel that it was Barney's time to go, time for him to be released from his damaged shell and be free. And now I'm getting Kelo back. I would give anything to have Barney back but it just feels like this was all in the plan.

I love you Callaway, Brando, and Barney! You will never be replaced but you know your mama, she has to rescue those poor animals that are being mistreated. We will see each other again and I can't wait for that wonderful day!

The only way I can get him back is to be happy

"The only way I can get him back is to be happy, to feel peace in my heart, to live the way he showed me to live, and to make use of the gifts he gave me." --Unknown

I found these wise words scribbled on a piece of scrap paper when I was sorting through a pile of papers on my desk. The words were surrounded by quotation marks, which usually means I wrote them down while talking to someone on the telephone. This time, though, I forgot to make note of the speaker!

And I regret that because whoever spoke these profound words deserves credit for understanding the key to healing our feelings of grief.

Grieving doesn't mean replaying hurtful memories over and over again in our minds. And it doesn't mean continuing to relive the painful feelings we associate with loss either. Yet, that's what many of us believe grief to be: Feeling lousy. Staying with the sadness. Living less than whole lives.

It's as if we believe we have been "chosen" to bear the pain of losing someone dear to us and now we must "honor" that task by never feeling joy again. Continuing to grieve, we believe, keeps us connected to the loved one who has died. It would be disloyal to feel anything else!

Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

The process of grieving is simply another name for the process of healing. Grieving means finding the love that remains even though loss has occurred.

When we focus our minds on the memories of what our loved one taught us and gave us and, when we incorporate those lessons into who we are now, we find meaning and personal growth.

Our loved ones who die, especially our pets who love us unconditionally, don't want us to feel lousy out of loyalty to them! Hey, they loved us! And anyone who truly loves you wants you to be happy, right?

If you're feeling sad and depressed because you're grieving, allow yourself to truly FEEL those feelings, down to the tips of your toes, and then release them and move on to the feelings of love.

Feel peace in your heart and make use of the gifts your pet or your human loved one gave you.

Grieving

I hope it's OK to post this because it came from another website. These words are amazing... I printed them out and put them up in my cube at work. I hope that I can learn to live by these words and I hope that everyone on this website can do the same.


"The only way I can get him back is to be happy, to feel peace in my heart, to live the way he showed me to live, and to make use of the gifts he gave me." --Unknown

I found these wise words scribbled on a piece of scrap paper when I was sorting through a pile of papers on my desk. The words were surrounded by quotation marks, which usually means I wrote them down while talking to someone on the telephone. This time, though, I forgot to make note of the speaker!

And I regret that because whoever spoke these profound words deserves credit for understanding the key to healing our feelings of grief.

Grieving doesn't mean replaying hurtful memories over and over again in our minds. And it doesn't mean continuing to relive the painful feelings we associate with loss either. Yet, that's what many of us believe grief to be: Feeling lousy. Staying with the sadness. Living less than whole lives.

It's as if we believe we have been "chosen" to bear the pain of losing someone dear to us and now we must "honor" that task by never feeling joy again. Continuing to grieve, we believe, keeps us connected to the loved one who has died. It would be disloyal to feel anything else!

Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

The process of grieving is simply another name for the process of healing. Grieving means finding the love that remains even though loss has occurred.

When we focus our minds on the memories of what our loved one taught us and gave us and, when we incorporate those lessons into who we are now, we find meaning and personal growth.

Our loved ones who die, especially our pets who love us unconditionally, don't want us to feel lousy out of loyalty to them! Hey, they loved us! And anyone who truly loves you wants you to be happy, right?

If you're feeling sad and depressed because you're grieving, allow yourself to truly FEEL those feelings, down to the tips of your toes, and then release them and move on to the feelings of love.

Feel peace in your heart and make use of the gifts your pet or your human loved one gave you.