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> How Do I Say Goodbye?
Kellyt
post Nov 18 2019, 09:15 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 71
Joined: 29-October 12
From: NY
Member No.: 7,808



I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that we have an appointment later this evening to let our cat, Stinky (formally known as Chloe, but she’s been a stinker so the nickname just took) transition peacefully. She has a mass in her mouth, and two vets have told us that all we can do is make her comfortable. She’s not eating much anymore and seems to be uncomfortable so we decided, after much thoughtful discussion and many tears, that it was time to say goodbye.

Stinky is the last of our four cats-we had her sister, her mother, and another cat, all rescued by my husband. Losing Stinky means the end of an era in our lives, an era that was, quite frankly, in many ways happier than today, and that’s part of why I’m so sad. It was a time when life held more promise, we looked forward to the future in a different way, and we hadn’t yet faced the tragedies, losses, and heartbreak that we’ve more recently endured. Yet throughout those heartbreaks, we had our precious cats, and dog-who we still have- to take care of and they’ve brought us such comfort. I’m so heartbroken and afraid to be without Stinky and her love and companionship, but I’m more afraid I’ll regret it if we don’t let her go peacefully and wait too long, so the decision has been made.

I’m spending today at home, trying to stay present and enjoy her to the fullest. My heart is so very heavy and is breaking, but I have to stay strong for her.
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moon_beam
post Dec 14 2019, 01:26 PM
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From: Virginia
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Hi, Kelly, just stopping by to see how you're doing. With the physical loss of your beloved Stinky still so new, the holidays can be a challenge. What is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be "the most horrible time of the year." The "first withouts" can be very painful to get through - - the first birthday, first anniversary, first holidays, first vacation, and the list goes on and on. Please know this is all a part of the normal grieving process, and it is important that you allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve as you need to, even if you have to find a quiet place separate from the "cheerful festivities" to do so. I know so very well from first hand experience how difficult it is to put on what I call the "public face" when your heart is full of sorrow. Please know we are here for you should you need a safe place to share what is in your heart and on your mind.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Kellyt
post Dec 28 2019, 09:00 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 71
Joined: 29-October 12
From: NY
Member No.: 7,808



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Dec 14 2019, 01:26 PM) *
Hi, Kelly, just stopping by to see how you're doing. With the physical loss of your beloved Stinky still so new, the holidays can be a challenge. What is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be "the most horrible time of the year." The "first withouts" can be very painful to get through - - the first birthday, first anniversary, first holidays, first vacation, and the list goes on and on. Please know this is all a part of the normal grieving process, and it is important that you allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve as you need to, even if you have to find a quiet place separate from the "cheerful festivities" to do so. I know so very well from first hand experience how difficult it is to put on what I call the "public face" when your heart is full of sorrow. Please know we are here for you should you need a safe place to share what is in your heart and on your mind.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam



Thank you so much, moon_beam. I truly appreciate you checking in and all of your kind words and support. This Monday marks 6 weeks since we let Stinky go, and I'm struggling with missing her presence. I try to talk to her, and to feel her energetic presence, but I just want to see her and kiss her. I'm trying to take care of myself by getting enough sleep and eating well, but that hasn't happened much lately, so my defenses are down so to speak, and I think I'm feeling the loss even more deeply, if that makes sense.

The holidays tend to be somewhat difficult for me, and this year has been no different. This is the first Christmas that we have no cats in the house, and I'm missing them terribly. I still hung their "cats" stocking that my dad (who passed away 3 years ago) gave us, and hung more pictures in the house of all of our fur babies, in the hopes that I'd feel some comfort from them. I'm feeling very alone at times; the "public face" is indeed very difficult to put on when people don't really understand. Knowing that this forum only has a few days left has made me sad too. I'm so grateful for all of the support I've gotten here since we lost our precious Wolfie back in 2012, but I can't help but feel that this is another kind of loss. I've joined the facebook group, and will stay, but I do like this format and will miss it.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and that all is well by you.

-Kelly
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