My Precious Albus Options

[Hermy's Mommy]

Hi moon_beam,

Thank you for your comforting words and positive thoughts. As soon as I finished work today, I read your post and Stormycloud's post. I felt such warmth and understanding flow through me as I read them. Thank you!!!

Thank you for saying, "your beloved Albus KNOWS you did everything in your human and humane power to give him a happy, healthy earthly journey and provide him competent and compassionate medical care . . . . He LOVES YOU with all his heart for all eternity - - YOU do not need his forgiveness for what happened to him." That means the world to me.

I plan to pay the vet's bill and request Harry and Ron's medical records. I am transferring all future care of Harry and Ron's medical needs to this other practice I found last night. Thank you again for your guidance and support during this difficult time.

Wishing all of us here a peaceful, restful night...many warm hugs to all!

Hermy and Albus's Mommy (Lisa)

[LittleGirl's...]

Lisa!

I am so very sorry that you have had such a rough time reliving things!!!

I am going to write more in the morning--but I want you to know that when I read moon_beam's note to you, it completely resonated with me. EVERYTHING SHE SAID. It's true.

Albus is showering you with love and prayers for YOUR peace. HE is at peace and in bliss.

More tomorrow. You have NOTHING to feel guilty for ! A healing journey but no guilt. And Harry and Ron benefit--thanks to sweet, loving Albus.

Kathy

[LittleGirl's...]

Lisa,

I hope you are able to take moon_beam's words to heart. She truly said it all.

We are here to support you every step of the way--whether it's reassurance during a dark day, or extra help with your Vet Board dealings...anything.

Wishing you as much peace as you possibly can feel. You sure deserve it.

Hugs and prayers,

Kathy

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lisa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Working on the letter to the vet who improperly cared for your beloved Albus and the veterinary licensing board will hopefully provide you some comfort and affirmation that you did everything you could for your beloved Albus. When you begin writing let yourself go emotionally expressing your anger and frustration over the events that led to the physical loss of your beloved Albus. You may then want to put the letters aside for a day or so to give yourself an opportunity to think about what you have written. Then go back to the letters and edit them as you see appropriate. When you are satisfied with how the letters read, they are ready to be mailed. You may want to consider mailing them "priority mail" with a tracking number so that you will have confirmation that they were delivered. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know what happens.

"Closure" is a word that evolved during the 1970's / 1980's when hospice services began here in counseling family members, friends, and caregivers of terminally ill clients. The reality is this word offers little comfort because there is no "closure" to the sadness of adjusting to the physical absence of a loved one - - whoever the life form. As our deep grief eases we "adjust" to the physical absence of our beloved companion, and this is healthy. But we continue to carry them in our hearts and memories, and there will always be a part of our hearts that will feel sadness in our physical separation from them. When we lose a loved one - - whoever the life form - - under tragic circumstances the sorrow in our hearts is even deeper and the adjustment to their physical absence is more difficult. This is another reason, among many, why it is important for you to remember we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Lisa. There are no "expiration dates" here for sharing with us what is in your heart - - whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Harry and Ron kindly, Lisa, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Albus' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Hisae Y]

Hi, Lisa

I just wanted to add a quick note that I am thinking of you. It's 11 days since Tama's passing and I am still thinking about "I should have..." and "what if ...". I try not to, because thinking like that makes me very sad.

Please give a big hug to Harry and Ron. I have never had bunnies as pets, but I have heard they are very sweet companions.

Hisae

[Hermy's Mommy]

Dear Kathy, moon_beam, Stormycloud, and Hisae Y,

Thank you all for your comforting thoughts and prayers. Reading your posts is like soaking up emotional sustenance for me during this time. Every day is still so difficult to get through, but your words remind me of the love between Albus and me and that the love will always be there. My feelings of guilt and grief obscure everything. Reminders of that pure wholesome love between our fur babies and us are truly life-sustaining and even life-saving. So thank you!

I spent most of yesterday afternoon, evening, and night working on a timeline of events for the formal complaint to the licensing board. I'm almost finished with the draft but need to add a few paragraphs about the voicemail message and the bill I received after Albus's passing.

moon_beam, thank you for the suggestion to let it sit for a day before revisiting and editing it. That's my plan for today. I'm going to try to focus on organizing my photos of Albus. I have the photos on the computer, but I think I'd like to order some prints to display around the house. My place seems so empty without him here. I keep looking for him in his favorite hiding places.

Kathy, I'm so grateful for your kind support and advice. I'm wondering what you and moon_beam think I should do in terms of reporting anonymously versus reporting with my name and Albus's name to the board. Their website states, "NOTE: The Department of Health Professions cannot guarantee anonymity. Information regarding your report, including information provided by you, may be shared with the subject of the report (practitioner or licensee). If you wish to submit an anonymous report, do not include any information on the complaint form, envelope, email or supplemental documents that reveal your identity." My mind is all muddled with grief. I can't seem to sort out the pros and cons of reporting with or without my name. I'm fairly certain the vet and his clinic will know even without my name on it. At the very least, I hope the board investigates Albus's case.

Yesterday, one of my co-workers said that it's a good thing to report this to the proper authorities. She's been very supportive too. She calls this the "Justice for Albus" campaign.

I miss Albus so very much! I hope he knows how much I love him and how sorry I am for not saving his life. Maybe in some small way I can find "justice for Albus" and others too.

Sending warm thoughts and prayers and hugs to all!

Hermy and Albus's Mommy

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lisa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. In regards to your question about the letter to the licensing board: "I'm wondering what you and moon_beam think I should do in terms of reporting anonymously versus reporting with my name and Albus's name to the board." I can only answer you in terms of if I were in your situation. Based on that premise, if it were me I would have NO problem identifying myself and my beloved companion who were the victims of reckless veterinary care to the licensing board. There can be no "investigation" into what specifically happened with your beloved Albus unless you specifically identify you and your beloved Albus in your letter. If I may make a suggestion: before you send your letter to the licensing board, you may want to contact the alternate veterinary practice for a "meet and greet" appointment for your precious Harry and Ron to have their records transferred to that practice. This way your "business" with the veterinary practice who was reckless in your beloved Albus' care will be finished. And since you are paying the final invoice no one at that practice can place a complaint against you on your credit rating. This is just my point of view, Lisa - - whatever YOU decide will be the RIGHT DECISION for you. Please let us know how things go.

I like your co-workers slogan "Justice for Albus." Indeed, what happened to you and your beloved Albus at the hands of the veterinary practice should NOT have happened, and for different reasons I fully understand your need to do what you can to achieve it.

As always, I hope today is treating you and your precious Harry and Ron kindly, Lisa, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Albus' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

"Justice for Albus" - what a beautiful suggestion.

I agree with moon_beam on perhaps identifying yourself but that HOWEVER you decide to proceed is exactly right for you!!!

Keep us posted !!

Kathy

[Hermy's Mommy]

Dear moon_beam and Kathy,

Thank you so much for your kind words and wonderful suggestions. My plan is to pay the vet's bill over the phone tomorrow and request a receipt. I also plan to request Harry's records and Ron's records so that I can transfer their care to the other clinic.

I discovered something disturbing this morning. I finally got around to reading Albus's medical record for March 24, 2015, the day he died. It states, "Patient arrested during procedure and CPR was unsuccessful."

I'm shocked. I don't mean to repeat myself, but this is what happened:

Albus and I arrived at their clinic around 7:10 a.m. A technician immediately started to assist him, giving him oxygen, placing a warming mat and towel under him, and palpating his abdomen. She said his bladder was huge and rock hard. Another technician administered intramuscular pain medication and intramuscular muscle relaxant. He started to breathe more comfortably and steadily, although they said his heart rate and respiratory rate were rapid. Every few seconds, he tensed his abdominal muscles and strained to urinate, even while lying on his side. I stayed with him, holding the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, and waited for the veterinarian.

Around 8:00 a.m., the vet had arrived and immediately discussed euthanasia. He said he could try catheterization under anesthesia but Albus might not make it through anesthesia. I said I wanted him to try anything and everything to save his life and that I was not ready to choose euthanasia. I told him Albus was fine until the other vet expressed his bladder on Friday, causing an acute urinary obstruction.

He handed me a clipboard with two forms: a consent form for surgery and hospitalization and a euthanasia form. He then took Albus to the back of the clinic. Less than 20 minutes later, the vet came out to talk to me. Immediately, I asked to see Albus, but he led me into an empty exam room and closed the door. He said he removed 15 mL of urine by needle aspiration. He said he was not able to get an IV in because he could not find a vein. He said he catheterized the urethra and bladder, injected 20 mL of saline, and tried to withdraw urine, but nothing would come out. He said, while under anesthesia, Albus almost died. They intubated him and stopped the procedure. I asked if he was awake and if I could see him. He didn’t answer me. He said Albus was not going to make it. He said he could not relieve the obstruction and Albus would not survive bladder surgery. He again said I needed to choose euthanasia. I asked if he could stabilize him so he could try to relieve the obstruction later. He said he did not think he would make it. At this time, his technician knocked on the door and he ran into the back of the clinic.

Less than five minutes later, around 8:30 a.m., the vet came back out into the waiting room. He said, “I’m sorry, the little guy didn’t make it. He went into cardiac arrest.” Again, I asked to see Albus, but again I was denied access to him. I said, “Oh, no! No! No! No! I want to see him. I wasn’t with him when he died!!!” He said he would bring his body to me in an empty exam room.

Why didn’t the vet tell me when he first came out that Albus had already passed away DURING the procedure, as it says in the medical record? Instead, he came out to talk to me AFTER the procedure, would not let me see Albus when I asked, and recommended that I choose euthanasia again, when my poor Albus was already dead.

This dishonest presentation of facts, when I was not told truthfully that Albus had already expired during the procedure, stuns me. Instead, post-operatively, I was presented with euthanasia as the only viable option when Albus was already dead. Repeatedly, I was not permitted to see Albus when requested. Was this due to the fact that Albus had already expired and the veterinarian wanted me to choose euthanasia to avoid liability?

I don't understand what happened. I don't understand the deception and the lies. I don't understand their recklessness and their negligence. Now add to all of that, their deliberate misrepresentation of events.

I don't understand why. I always, always paid them in full AT the time of service. No matter what. No matter how high they charged (overcharged) because I believed in doing whatever was best for Albus. I even offered to pay the bill that day he died. I stopped at the check-out desk, spoke with the receptionist, and offered to pay for their services with my credit card before leaving. The vet said, “Don’t worry about it. We know where you live.”

My poor, poor Albus! I am outraged and hurt. Albus and I trusted these vets and technicians. I placed my trust and Albus's life in their hands. At Albus's most critical time of need, they lied to me!

I'm devastated over losing Albus, and now I discover this. It's horrifying.

Thanks for listening as always.

Hugs (and sobs),
Hermy and Albus's Mommy

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lisa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I truly wish there was a way I could take this horrible pain from you heart, but unfortunately I do not have this power. The events leading to your beloved Albus' departure from this earthly realm are tragic, and I can feel the deep sorrow in your heart as you learn more of what happened to him. This is all the more reason why a review of his medical records by the veterinary licensing board may help in obtaining some "Justice for Albus" - - and you. Please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you, Lisa, to try to offer you comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in this time of deepest sorrow for you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Harry and Ron kindly, Lisa, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Albus' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

I am SO SO sorry about all of this, Lisa!!!

Nothing is your fault-- the same as it wasn't my fault in bringing my sweet Mariah to that horrible vet. Albus and Mariah know this. They know our love for them and that we had only the best intentions at heart. It took me 15 years to get to this point and Albus, Mariah, and I want YOU to know this right now. Nothing is your fault. Your love for Albus was and IS strong. You, Lisa, are the best of the best of Mommies.

Let us know how you are doing.

Heartfelt empathy headed your way, tonight and every day !!

Kathy

[Hisae Y]

Hi, Lisa

I am so sorry to hear about this, too. I cannot imagine the anger and devastation you are feeling. Please know that you did everything humanly possible to take care of Albus.

With lots of love and hugs to you!

Hisae

[Hermy's Mommy]

Hi moon_beam, Kathy, and Hisae,

Thank you for your comforting words over the past few weeks. Your kindness and compassion have meant so much to me during this time.

Today marks 4 weeks since Albus passed away. I miss my little bun more than ever. I miss giving him his favorite foods: banana slices and watermelon cubes. I miss our morning routine. I miss our evening TV time together. I miss him and love him so much!

Thank you all for helping me with my "Justice for Albus" mission. I sent off packets that included a cover letter, timeline of events, copies of his medical records, and copies of his last invoice to the state licensing board, national veterinary medical association, state veterinary association, regional veterinary association, and Albus's veterinary pet insurance company. If you can think of anyone else who should have a copy, I welcome your suggestions.

I hope my little Albus is with his sister Hermy. I can only hope that one day I will see them both again.

My sadness seems to keep growing each day. It's a struggle to wake up in the morning and get myself to work. I'm sure some day I'll feel better . . . it's just not today.

Warm hugs to all,
Hermy and Albus's Mommy (Lisa)

[Hermy's Mommy]

Today is my dear little Albus's 1-month angel-versary. I miss him so much.

Albus, I love you, my sweet bun. Please know that your mommy is so sorry for everything you suffered through during your last days here. I hope you are with your sister Hermy. One day, Albus, we will be together again. I want to scoop you up and smother your furry head with kisses once more. I miss you, my baby boy.

I'm sending you and Hermy all my love and kisses!

Love Always,
Your Bunny Mommy

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lisa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Albus' one-month angel-versary. During the deep grief it can feel like every moment of every hour of every day of every month is an angel-versary - - the painful realization of yet another "adjustment" to the physical absence of a beloved companion. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Harry and Ron kindly, Lisa, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Albus' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Hermy's Mommy]

Dear moon_beam, Kathy, and all of my fellow forum members,

I just wanted to update you all about my Albus and my Justice for Albus mission. It's been over 3 months since my baby Albus passed away (102 days to be exact). Things are not going well with my formal complaint to the Board of Veterinary Medicine. I finally received a phone call from an "investigator" 2 days ago. She called me "to clarify some discrepancies" after she interviewed the veterinarians at their office the day before. She said she made a personal visit to their office to interview them and collect copies of the medical records and billing records. She said the vet was reluctant to release the billing records but eventually did so.

The investigator said there were 2 discrepancies in his side of the story compared with my side: (1) The vet denies ever speaking to me after I left a message with his receptionist before 8 a.m. on Monday, March 23 (the day before he died). He claims he only left a message but never spoke to me. (2) The vet claims I did not show up to the scheduled surgery on Tuesday, March 24 at 1 p.m.

I could not believe my ears! Albus saw the vet on Friday, March 20 at 10 a.m. and his bladder was manually expressed (too severely), resulting in acute urinary obstruction. I told the vet at that time that something was wrong, but he dismissed my concerns and told me to put Albus in his carrier and leave. Albus did not eat, pee or poop for the next 3 days. He was in pain! When I called the vet's office and left a message on Monday, March 23 before 8 a.m., I told the receptionist this and said it was urgent that the vet call me back. She said he wouldn't arrive at the office until after 10 a.m. The vet called me around 10:15 a.m. and spoke to me directly for at least 15 minutes. This is when he said, "I heard I messed him up." He instructed me to bring Albus in the following day for surgery, but I asked what do I do for him now since he is in pain and has not eaten, pooped, or peed in over 3 days. He told me to give him pain medication and fluids. I asked if I could bring him in right away, but the vet said no one would examine him until his surgery the following day, that he would be in the cage in the back until surgery.

He denies ever having this conversation with me! The investigator told me that she met the vet and thought he was nice and charming. She told me that she does not believe my side of the story and said, "it's not true that you spoke to him. He said he never spoke to you." I told her that I have witnesses: my assistant answered the call that morning, spoke to the vet, handed off the call to me directly, and saw me speaking on the phone to him; my patient and I were interrupted so that I could take the vet's call.

The investigator then interviewed my assistant and took her statement. She asked her if she really handed the call over to me and if she really saw me talking on the phone to the vet. She said of course she did.

The second discrepancy is even more incredible. He claims I "no-showed" to Albus's surgery! Albus was already dead that morning! He never made it to his 1 p.m. surgery. He died at 8:15 a.m. that same morning because it was too late! The vet refused to see him the day before! If I "no-showed" to an appointment as serious as a scheduled surgery, why then did no one, not even the vet, call to see where I was or if I was running late? Because my poor rabbit was already dead and they knew it!!!

The second vet, the one who offered euthanasia the morning Albus died, told the investigator that he offered me a procedure for Albus but he died on the table. That vet did not offer "a procedure." He kept offering and encouraging me to choose euthanasia. He has lied to the investigator as well!

I'm sorry I'm so upset. I am so angry and outraged. To make matters worse, my assistant called the investigator back yesterday morning to add something to her statement, and the investigator was rude to her, stating that WE were "not telling the truth" and that WE were "lying" because she confirmed with the vet that he never spoke to me. She said she had 4 more people to interview at his office and then she would be submitting her report to the Board. She said that she believes the vet's story.

How is this possible? How is the investigator, who is supposed to be impartial, taking sides and expressing her bias already? Presumably her bias will be in her report as well.

I feel defeated. I cried all night last night. What can I do when I am telling the truth but the vets and his staff are lying? And then the investigator believes the lies? Is this what these investigators do? Are they the defense attorneys for the vets?

My family and friends are being supportive. They say that the Board protects their own and I will never get true justice for Albus by pursuing this with them. They say this just opens up old wounds. I know they are right, but my wound is still fresh, my heart is still broken and always will be.

I am so grateful to all of you here. To have a safe place to share my grief and vent my frustrations is priceless. To share my pain with others who understand and, unfortunately, personally have experienced this kind of loss of a loved one...thank you. Thank you for letting me vent.

I miss my little Albus so much. I hope he knows that I've tried my best. I hope he knows how much I love him.

Wishing you all a Happy Fourth of July and a peaceful night.

Hugs,
Hermy and Albus's Mommy

[LittleGirl's...]

Dear, dear Hermy and Albus's Mommy,

I just read your note and am so outraged I need to get my thoughts together. This screwed up world !!!

I'm going to re-read your note in a while and do some serious thinking and brainstorming.

There MUST be someone different, preferably higher up in "rank" than the investigator, who could review this whole matter. The investigator needs to be investigated!

I will be writing to you later today but in the meantime I wanted you to know that I'm thinking and praying. And I'm so sorry that this outrage is happening! I can just imagine how you must be feeling! You do not deserve this.

Talk soooon,
Kathy

[LittleGirl's...]

Hermy and Albus's Mommy,

Just some scattered thoughts so far but I will write more a bit later!

In the event that you decide to pursue this further, I'm wondering whether there is a Veterinary Board of Appeals for your state... And if there's a lawyer who would take the case pro bono or on a contingency basis...

Also wondering whether you might start a new thread on this site with a different title related to something legal? (under Death and Dying Support) but reference this page. Thinking that people with ideas for this particular (legal) aspect of your journey might be more likely to respond.

You can vent here ANY TIME. We all feel tremendously for you.

Prayers your way!!!

Kathy
P.S. There is absolutely NO question that Albus knows how much you love him.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lisa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and how the investigation is going regarding the medical malpractice your beloved Albus received. Like our forum friend Kathy, I too am sooooo appalled at the investigator's approach and handling of reviewing what happened to your beloved Albus. A request from the telephone company to supply documentation of telephone calls received / placed and the length of time those calls were in progress would help to verify the facts. I'm not sure if a court order would be necessary in this situation, but you could call your telephone service provider to see what can be done. If you use cell phone service, then a similar request can be made to your cell phone provider as there would be records of what cell towers transmitted your conversation and for how long. If a court order is required for this type of documentation, then you can speak with an attorney or legal aid service to determine the process to go through to get the records. This may be something that you can do on your own once you receive any legal advice you may need.

In my much younger years I used to work for the Justice Department. When an opportunity arose that allowed me to eventually transfer to a different agency people would ask me why I was leaving a job that was so important. My reply was "I am leaving the Justice Department where there isn't any." Sadly, "justice" has not been the focus of legal issues for many years in this country. Rather it is a "point of law" as to which side can produce the most convincing evidence while manipulating - - if not destroying - - the facts that brought the matter to a judicial level to begin with. It does not surprise me that the veterinarian who so carelessly and recklessly treated your beloved Albus has "charmed" the investigator. I TOTALLY agree with Kathy that you need to determine if this investigator's review can be investigated by a superior on the veterinary board of supervisors. For one thing, her behavior toward you is TOTALLY unprofessional, which makes me wonder if she has a personal connection with this particular veterinarian.

Only YOU can determine how far you want to pursue this, Lisa. You may never receive the ultimate "justice" and "vindication" you want on behalf of your beloved Albus. HOWEVER, I promise you your efforts will not have been in vain. Somewhere, sometime, somehow there have been / will be other patients of this veterinarian who will have similar catastrophic experiences. Your case may or not be the first one that has come to the attention of the veterinary licensing board. Only a licensed investigator can do a background check on him -- and some day he may very likely find himself involved in a court legal proceeding. Whatever happens, Lisa, I hope and pray that you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Albus KNOWS you have done everything in your power to give him "justice" for what happened to him.

Thank you again for sharing with us what has been happening with the investigation. For different reasons I truly can understand how shattered your heart is feeling and how very angry you are. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing and how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

Hi again Hermy and Albus's Mommy,

Wow, what moon_beam said is so sad and yet so true---about our justice system.

One of the situations I personally encountered was in '02 when I left a teaching job that I LOVED ... The problems started when new administration took over and appalling things happened--drug use by administrators and some students, a drunken teacher being asked to drive the community bus that picked up students in town, etc. I spoke to my boss about the drunken teacher being asked to drive. Next thing I knew, I was being set up for things that I was then written up for. I eventually contacted the Maine State Board of Education with my documentation containing incidents, dates, and witnesses. The State responded that I should speak with my superintendent (the superintendent was the biggest culprit, and I had said so in my report to the State)! I hung in at my job for another 9 months, feeling sick each day. I finally resigned. Oh, and I soon discovered that I was blackballed from other teaching positions. It seems the world is getting more and more corrupt. It's scary.

As moon_beam said, whatever you decide to do in your case, Albus KNOWS you did everything in your power and more. You are the best Mommy.

Please continue to keep us posted.

Kathy