I Lost Mira, My Best Friend, I'm in a personal hell. Options

[AugustusS]

Wow, what a power couple. Mira, it helps me to talk to you. Weren't we a great team! If I was reading or writing outside you'd always let daddy know what's going on. I can't dwell on that night. If I succeed and stop dwelling, I feel as though I'm insulting your legacy. Oh Mira! You were too good for this earth. I hope you're being a good girl up there! Ah, what the hell am I saying, why wouldn't you be?
Mira wanna hear what a pain in the ass you were at times? Hehe. You were too smart and it irritated daddy when he had to resort to spelling so many things. Of course you figured that out as well. Man-o-man. I know you were so terrified the night you took off and didn't mean for this. It's not your fault. It's daddy's fault and I dedicate the remainder of my life to making it up to you. Wanna hint at how I propose to do all that? Live well, one day at a time. It's all we can do. I need you in more places than my heart. But baby, I hope you know I'm thinking of you. Our days and nights were filled with such happiness. Now that you've gone- I know I was happy. I know it. Something sometimes hinted to me that we didn't have long. Not sure why. But one thing I know I can say with my head held high; I didn't take you for granted ever! You were always top priority. Always. I can't make our special pizza any longer because I miss my mooching sidekick. How the heck did you always time the prep walk so precisely? Bag rattling makes plenty of dogs excited and you were no exception. I just wonder how you learned not to waste a trip off the sofa you silly baby! The pizza dough makes the bag rummaging noise. No movement. The flour is covered with a grocery bag. Nope. Not a muscle moved. Roll it out. Then comes negotiating the dough on the pizza stone which, again, you (could) care less about. Poke some holes. Take the sauce from the fridge which you swore to secrecy not to tell our secret pizza base so if you guys have a pizza party up there- you're in charge of putting it together*. Then I open the fridge for the third time in 5 minutes and up springs 38 pounds of a slobbering, salivating spoiled runt! You start with inconspicuous spots but eventually found your way beside my foot. You always got your little hand full and then I'd show you the pizza and say, "all good things come to pups who beg, I mean wait!". Eleven minutes later you accompany me to the stove and this is a time I wish I had set up a timed camera. Unreal. To see a puppy literally leaving her front feet and jerking her body around into a frenzy was a site to behold. I just always felt there'd be plenty of chances for this.
Wow, I've just hit a wall. I was becoming upbeat. One thing talking about Mira always makes me wanna SEE HER!!! Daddy loves you angel!!!

*Putting Mira in charge of any operation involving food is clearly the befuddled musings of a man in mourning.

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[AugustusS]

Here is a photo of baby Mira! My little angel!!!

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[AugustusS]

Now I have learned to do it! Here she is! I also got permission from her employer that I can post her photo related to work! I will post it soon! Thanks again! Tell me what y'all think please and thanks.

Augustus

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[AugustusS]

Mira was learning the subject of human trafficking. She was training to board large vessels.

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[AugustusS]

A few more. Sorry folks. This helps me heal!

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[AugustusS]

I wanted he large one of her Coast Guard work. So proud!

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[AugustusS]

My all-time favorite. I want this hanging on my wall one day. Just gotta find a nice company that can professionally do it!

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[Monique]

What a beautiful and special girl!! Thank you for sharing her larger than life presence and wonderful experiences you had together. And a service dog! Wow.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Augustus, thank you so very much for sharing your beautiful love letter to your beloved Mira with us, and all of these wonderful pictures of your beloved baby girl. I know from first hand experience how deeply you miss her precious physical presence with you. There is no doubt from the pictures you share with us that she KNOWS she is forever loved. How blessed you are to be her Forever Dad, and how blessed you both are to share your eternal love for one another.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Augustus, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mira's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[AugustusS]

Wasn't quite a service dog but was almost 28 months away.

[AugustusS]

Today is not so good just because the meds made me sleep all day which I did need. Moonbeam and all the rest thank you so much. The gratitude I feel in my heart is impossible to reflect on your screen. Remember the last line in lieu of a million thank you's.

[Monique]

Wasn't quite a service dog but was almost 28 months away.

Would her work as a service dog have involved loud noises at times? Is part of the training to be desensitized to noise that sounds like gunfire? Certain breeds are more sensitive than others. I have and have had shepherd mixes and border collies (Lassie look alikes) who are particularly spooked during fireworks and thunder/lightning storms.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Augustus, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It is vitally important that you allow yourself to get plenty of rest - - more than what you otherwise would normally do - - during your deep grief. Grieving is both physically and emotionally stressful which lowers the body's immune system which can make you more prone to illness - - such as colds, flu, etc.. Rest / sleep is nature's natural way rebuilding your body's health and strength. If you think the medication you are taking is having an adverse effect on you - - such as making you inappropriately drowsy or making it difficult waking up then please talk to your doctor.

Thank you again so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Mira with us. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mira's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[AugustusS]

Hey gang! I wanna know how to help others on this site. I feel that reading others pain and commiserating with a gentle crowd could help me more. Thanks
To answer the question about loud noises, I don't have a great deal to do with her training but Mira had completed all her Rec. courses and agility. She was essentially quite far away as she still had many more operations to complete but in a class of 13 dogs she was 5th and her Sargent said he was pleased. Ask anything you like folks. I am still so hurt. But I would like to help out too. Thanks again.

[Monique]

Hey gang! I wanna know how to help others on this site. I feel that reading others pain and commiserating with a gentle crowd could help me more. Thanks
To answer the question about loud noises, I don't have a great deal to do with her training but Mira had completed all her Rec. courses and agility. She was essentially quite far away as she still had many more operations to complete but in a class of 13 dogs she was 5th and her Sargent said he was pleased. Ask anything you like folks. I am still so hurt. But I would like to help out too. Thanks again.

What I have done is to just read here without any particular goal or purpose and I'm invariably drawn in to a post that compels me to leave a reply. Leaving a little note helps the person grieving and to then return to pick up the thread is a nice idea, too. I'm currently drawn back into my own grief, so my posts to others right now are limited. And so the grief cycle goes...

[Princessmommy]

Hello Agustus,

Its really nice to meet you. I'm also new to this website and Im still having some difficulty with my loss of my baby girl princess, so I completely understand how you are feeling at this present time. I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your baby Mira please accept my most sincere sympathy I know its hard to write right now but I think that with the time both of us will feel much better. Im also feeling down today missing my baby girl on Wednesday its going to be 4 months since I lost her an everyday it seems like it was yesterday she was hit by that dumb driver. Im also living a nightmare I have no one to talk to in the outside world an sometimes not even here so Im feeling lonely all the time. If you want we can work together an help one another out with our grief. Sometimes talking about it with someone helps, but not all the time. Im here if you need me you can email me or request me as a friend to so we can get to know each other. I think I saw we are both the same age I will be turning 34 next month I will love to get to know you if you allow me to. I hope you have a bless day an you will definitely be in my thoughts an prayers take care.

~ Mayra

Princess mommy ❤❤❤❤ 4ever in my heart (now Blanca's mommy)

[moon_beam]

Hi, Augustus, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. If you would like to reply to another person's thread, all you need to do is to open the topic, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "fast reply." This will open a separate window where you can write your response. When you are done, click on "enable email notification of replies" and then click on the "add reply" caption. Your reply will then be added to the person's topic.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Augustus, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mira's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Princessmommy]

Augustus,

I didn't get the opportunity to see your lovely photos of your baby mira thank you for sharing them with us, an allowing us to meet your precious little angel she's beautiful just love her color. An don't worry of posting a lot of photos of your baby it doesn't bother us at all. That's what this site is for to be able to share our feelings, great memories we shared with our babies. You can upload as many photos as you want I will love to keep seeing them an being able to know more about your little angel.. Much blessings to you an your beloved beautiful angel (((((Mira)))))

~ Mayra

[Shaknown]

I am very sorry for your loss. I know that pain. My dog Bruno passed away last Sunday and I still cry all the time. This is my first real loss that really affected me. I am angry that it happened and it was just so unexpected. I know that I am not alone on this. It does help me to talk to others that are going through the same pain and anger that I am going through. If you ever need to talk about your pain and loss I am here for you.

[Mary k Par]

Agustus,

Thank you for sharing yours and Mira's story. What an incredibly beautiful girl! You two obviously shared a very special bond.

I am no expert, but the common ground here is we understand your feelings and the depth of those feelings. I love that you're so open about that. I don't know that there is one thing that will make the hurt lessen. Just know that we all care and are hoping for peace and healing for you.

I feel like in my day to day life, I have to put on a happy face. One thing moon_beam mentioned was that even if I had to go somewhere to let my grief out, I needed to do that. So last night I had a glass of wine and went upstairs (husband is on a business trip and kids went to bed). Once I got snuggled in, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried and cried. And cried some more. I talked to my Halle, told her I loved her and that I wished I could snuggle with her and take just one more walk. I woke up looking horrible, but I absolutely needed to just let loose. I had not done that since shortly after I lost Halle.

A couple of other things: You'd mentioned one picture you wanted to get a professional to make into something special. That is one gorgeous photo by the way. Anyhow, Canvas on Demand does a great job. You can look at their website, and if I remember correctly, they're reasonably priced. Secondly, there is another website called the Animal Rescue Site. Anything purchased has the funds go to homeless animals. Before Halle died, I got a stainless steel ring that I wear every day. On the inside is a beautiful saying. After Halle died, I got a remembrance car charm to hang on the rear view mirror. It's pretty cool, and I got one for me and both my daughters. Maybe you can find something that touches your heart...whenever you're ready to look.

Agustus, I admire your candidness and especially the love you carry for Mira. I hope you soon find peace and comfort.

Mary