Hercules Aka Meatball The Incredible Cat. :-( Options

[moon_beam]

Hi, herculeslove, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes, sadly, what is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" can be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are grieving with the physical loss of a beloved companion. It's another classic moment in time when we are forced to put on our "public faces" so that others will not be "turned off" by our sorrow.

It is a wonderful thing for you to think of finding a way to honor your beloved Meatball with an ornament and picture - - you CAN do both - - it doesn't have to be an "either / or" decision. But whatever you decide I know your beloved Meatball will be very happy sharing it with you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Star kindly, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Meatball's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[herculeslove]

Thanks moonbeam, it's always so nice and heartwarming to hear from you :-). Just checking in here since I haven't for a while. I've been having fewer rough days, but when the sadness hits, the intensity is still strong.

It was triggered this morning, when after I finished brushing Star and had to clean the fur out of the brush, I became aware that Meatball's fur was still in there. I know he was more than just fur, but it was still hard knowing that would be the last time I would ever clean his fur out of the brush, and that I'll never get to brush him again.

I still think back sometimes to his last days and feel so bad that he was even sick. One thing that makes me feel a little bit better is that on the morning he died at least he wasn't hungry and dehydrated anymore, because he had IV overnight. I remember before I brought him to the hospital he wanted water so badly but just couldn't drink it. He would just walk over to his water bowl and let his chin rest in it. NO animal should have to die hungry or dehydrated, and to top it off he was a cat that LOVED food so I'm taking a bit of comfort in the fact that he had at least been "fed".

Star seems to be doing well, and I'm just so grateful for her. She isn't hiding as much - for a while she would hardly come out from her hiding places, she'd only come out to eat, etc., or if she heard the door open and wanted to go out on the balcony. (I have any open spaces on my balcony blocked off with lattice to prevent accidents, and I don't leave her out there alone.)

Hi, herculeslove, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes, sadly, what is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" can be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are grieving with the physical loss of a beloved companion. It's another classic moment in time when we are forced to put on our "public faces" so that others will not be "turned off" by our sorrow.

It is a wonderful thing for you to think of finding a way to honor your beloved Meatball with an ornament and picture - - you CAN do both - - it doesn't have to be an "either / or" decision. But whatever you decide I know your beloved Meatball will be very happy sharing it with you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Star kindly, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Meatball's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[moon_beam]

Hi, herculeslove, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Star are doing. Yes, I can so relate your "new reality" thinking of your beloved Meatball and not being able to brush him. Each "new reality" is painful, particularly during the deep grief. We take comfort in every possible thing we can, and I am so glad you are finding comfort in knowing that your beloved Meatball transitioned home to the angels nourished and no longer thirsty. Your beloved Meatball knows that you did everything in your power to give him a happy and healthy earthly journey, and he is forever blessed to have you for his Forever Mom.

I am glad to know that your precious Star is doing well. I know this brings both comfort and joy to your heart - - and to your beloved Meatball.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Star kindly, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Meatball's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[CritzyJ]

Hi Herculeslove,

The brushes with remnants of fur from Joe and Steve are still in the basket where I've always kept them. Still can't bear the thought of getting rid of their hair forever. I was folding up a blanket the other day and found some strands of black hair. The world stopped and I just had to pick it up and look at it. The idea of them being gone forever is so hard to really accept. I'm glad to hear Star is doing better. We all heal a little bit more with time.

I hope you'll have a restful evening.

CritzyJ

[herculeslove]

Thanks so much for your message. I've still been visiting this site at times to read through everyone's messages and support, but just couldn't bring myself to log in.

I still think about Meatball a lot. The apartment is a different place without him, and as much as I write about him and talk about him, I find it difficult to convey just how special he was. I have his favourite toy with me as I type this, and it's a bit comforting to remember him happy and playing. And he was just such a big gentle giant too, he never lashed out, he would just walk right into his cat carrier for vet visits, he would always come when called. You really did have to meet him just to understand how awesome he was.

I also have some news to share. I went to buy a brush for Star (A brush that attaches to the wall, so she could rub up against it, because she seemed REALLY lonely.) At the pet store there were a lot of pets from the Humane Society, and I cried for them because they were living in cages, but I didn't adopt one because it just seemed too impulsive and too soon.

A week later I was STILL thinking about the big black cat there that caught my heart. His description was "I'm a gentle soul", and with Star seeming lonely I decided it was the right time to save a life.

So, Snowball II (Simpsons fans will understand the name) has been home with us for a couple of weeks, and I think Star is starting to warm up to him. I'll post more about this soon, in the New Additions or whatever that section is called, but I wanted to share it here too as well.

Hi Herculeslove,

The brushes with remnants of fur from Joe and Steve are still in the basket where I've always kept them. Still can't bear the thought of getting rid of their hair forever. I was folding up a blanket the other day and found some strands of black hair. The world stopped and I just had to pick it up and look at it. The idea of them being gone forever is so hard to really accept. I'm glad to hear Star is doing better. We all heal a little bit more with time.

I hope you'll have a restful evening.

CritzyJ

[TaraG]

Hi Herculeslove -
That's great news about Snowball II! I'm not a Simpsons fan but I appreciate a good pop culture name! My first Sheltie was named Keith Richards because he used to fall asleep with his head in his food.

I recently adopted two new Shelties over the course of a few weeks. First I got Regen and last week I got Raskal. As you experienced, it's a complicated decision to bring a new animal home. I really struggled with feeling like I was leaving Vienna behind somehow. But they've actually helped remind me of the joy Vienna brought me everyday of her life with me. I think they've helped me heal a lot. And it's so meaningful to feel like you've given a home to an animal that really needs one. I'm sure Snowball II is happy to be with you!

Take care and have fun with Snowball II!
Tara

[herculeslove]

Just felt like checking in here since I've been thinking about Meatball a lot lately. He's never forgotten, but most of the time that I spend consciously thinking about him is spent focusing on good memories and not dwelling on the sad things that are outside of my control. There is still intermittent grief which is normal I know, but just these past few weeks there have been a few triggers though.

Firstly I had almost a full box of unopened, unused needles from his insulin injections, that had been sitting in my cabinet for the past five months. A couple of weeks ago I donated them to a local animal rescue group and it was a trigger. I don't feel like I'm getting rid of traces of him, since I've kept a few mementos that I will always keep, but there was still an element of sadness to it.

Secondly, there were a couple of cans left of his special healthy food so I've been giving some of that food to Star and Snowball II. it seems silly to be sad, since Meatball loved food so much and it would seem like a travesty to have it go to waste, but still, there was that same element of sadness.

I have been really busy so haven't shared any photos of Snowball II yet, they're all on my phone so I don't think I can just upload them.

TaraG, congrats on your new adoptees, if you've posted about them I'm off to read about them now!

Hi Herculeslove -
That's great news about Snowball II! I'm not a Simpsons fan but I appreciate a good pop culture name! My first Sheltie was named Keith Richards because he used to fall asleep with his head in his food.

I recently adopted two new Shelties over the course of a few weeks. First I got Regen and last week I got Raskal. As you experienced, it's a complicated decision to bring a new animal home. I really struggled with feeling like I was leaving Vienna behind somehow. But they've actually helped remind me of the joy Vienna brought me everyday of her life with me. I think they've helped me heal a lot. And it's so meaningful to feel like you've given a home to an animal that really needs one. I'm sure Snowball II is happy to be with you!

Take care and have fun with Snowball II!
Tara

[moon_beam]

Hi, herculeslove, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal grief when you share with us: "I don't feel like I'm getting rid of traces of him, since I've kept a few mementos that I will always keep, but there was still an element of sadness to it."

I can so relate to what you are experiencing. My beloved canine companion Oslo joined the angels in November 2009. I normally pay my property taxes in November and make a trip into town to the treasurer's office to pay them in person. At the same time I always purchased Oslo's County tag. In November 2010 I made the trip as usual fully understanding that I did not need to purchase a tag for Oslo. However, as I was leaving the treasurer's office I saw the "reminder" that tags needed to be purchased and for that brief moment I thought "Oh no, I forgot to bring Oslo's proof of Rabies vaccination - - I'll have to come back" - - and then I remembered that I didn't have to get him a tag - - and the walk back to the car was one of heavy heart. A YEAR had gone by since my beloved Oslo joined the angels - - but this was another one of those "first withouts" that was still a difficult "reality check."

This grief adjustment journey is not a straight line from "A" to "Z" but rather one filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds. When our deep grief begins to ease we think the worst part is over with - - yet days, weeks, months down the road something happens that "triggers" a new level of "reality" that our beloved companions are no longer physically with us - - no longer need the special care we so lovingly gave them - - and we can find ourselves feeling like we are back to day one of our grief journey.

The GOOD NEWS is that these moments of sorrow do become less intense so that we are able to re-direct our sorrow to remembering our treasured memories with warmth and joy in our hearts again.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Star and Snowball II kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Meatball's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam