7 Months Options

[Steph]

Hey Little Dog,

It's another sad anniversary day tomorrow. Actually, it's been 7 months yesterday that you collapsed, and will be 7 months tomorrow since you left.

So much has happened. I've been told that I've changed a lot since you died. I believe it.

On the good side:
I know that your death taught me about how precious life is, and how quickly it can be snuffed out. I get angry less over the little annoyances of life. Even things that previously really bothered me don't get to me as much anymore. It's just not worth it. Because of this, Michael and I don't fight much anymore. It's as though we've reached a new understanding of each other.

On the negative side:
I have more fears. I am constantly obsessing over another loved one passing away. I've seen how quickly it can occur. Although my life has been frequently touched by death, you were my first "sudden death". My first quick departue. I know that it can happen again.
Also, life never fully became whole again after you left. Something has gone out of me forever. When my "childhood dog" died when I was 22 it was different. He was old and sick. I was very sad, but I moved on. With you it was different. A light has been permanently dimmed.

Interestingly, I don't fear my own death anymore. I am happy that we are not on earth forever, for to have lost you and be forced to have this pain forever would be unbearable.

"Every night as I fall asleep,
The sadness is a bit less deep.
For I am closer, by one day,
To the time when we once more will play."

I love you.

Steph

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