Rip E. Options

[orpheenoir]

Hi all. I'm new to this site, I prefer to remain semi-anonymous, but I may open up more in the future.

I lost my cat, E, on Monday 7/9/12. Apparently, diabetes set in and hit him very hard, and caused his already weak kidneys to fail completely. I watched him waste away without being able to help for too long. He dropped down to just barely 7lbs and had stopped eating and drinking altogether. I chose to euthanize him rather than keep him alive for more testing. I feel guilty, as if I could have found out about the diabetes sooner and saved him. E and I were together for 16 years, almost 17.
I am very unsure about where to go from here. I haven't moved anything in my house because it all hasn't set in yet. I still come home and expect to see him waiting for me. I have another cat, whom I have had for about 13 years. She keeps looking for him and I have no clue what to do. I am at a loss. I know that what I did was the humane thing to do, but I can't help but wonder if I did the wrong thing.

I'm not sure what else to post, I just needed to get this out in what seems like a safe haven. Thank you for reading.


Oh, and this is the last photo I took of him. He was in my arms, purring, before we put him to sleep for the euthanasia.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m730zu2j...vxg9o1_1280.jpg

[Gretta's Mom]

Good morning orpheenoir

My heart is with you on the passing of beautiful E the cat. And you HAVE reached the right place. This is THE best support site I have seen on the web. Everybody here knows what you're going through and even more important, feel what your feeling. Having a loved friend depart the earth is one of the worst experiences in like. The first few days and weeks are "shock-and-awe." Your heart is bleeding to death, you're tears flow unstopped, and you're walking around like an unseeing robot, cuz everything you see satbs your heart again.

OrpheeNoir, there is no timeline for grief. And there are no "shoulds'. If having E's things around in the same places they always were is a tiny comfort to your heart (or if you just plain don't have the physical or mental energy to move them), then leave them in place for as long as you want and need to. (I slept on my Gretta's big orthopedic dog bed for over a week after she went home). When we give our hearts to an special soul, we get them crushed when they go on to the perfect World before us.

You were put to the ultimate test of love and you passed with flying colors - you put E's life ahead of yours and released him from his earthly pain. In the words of my wonderful vet, "He's in a safe place now." And that's true. His loving spirit is also right there by your side, wiping your tears and telling you, Mommy, I'm OK. We're still sharing the same love we always did when my body lived on earth.

Share as much or as little as your heart tells you. we don't ask questions - we just try to care for and support our sisters and brothers in the Lightning Strike family.

Thank you for coming here and thank you even more for sharing Mr E with us.

Blessings today and every day,

Gretta's mom (she is the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived)

[Valentino my boy]

Orpheenoir,

I'm sorry to hear about your beatiful E, as Gretta's Mom said, you reach the best place, you can be as open as you want and nobody is going to judge what you share, and about what to do, just do what your heart tells you what's right, everyone has different timimng, and no mourning is ever the same, for some people is hard to keep looking at there babies belongings and put they away, to some is a nice reminder of the ir babies, you do want you feel ok with.

Lean in your other girl, she must be mourning just like you, only that she can't express in the same way that you do, be sure to be there for her, just as you where there for E in his final moment.

In time you'll be able to remember E, without crying (how long depends only of you), try to remember him at his best, I know that probably that seems impossible right now, but the time will came, sometimes I hear my baby boy Tino, the first times I heard him I couldn't help it and just burst into tears, now when i hear him I just sight, still sad, but somehow I manage not to cry. I still can't look at his pictures but I know that someday I will be able, and smile at his memory, just not right now.

Like I told you everyone is different, in timimng and in ithe way of mourning. Here you can be free to express yourself, and someone will always have the right words, after all, we all share the same love for the babies that leave sooner.

Send you my best to you and your girl

[Mistletoe]

Rip E

Sorry to hear about your cat--I know the feeling---it takes time---but one day the hurt won't be so sharp and painful----

[moon_beam]

Hi, orpheenoir, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved E. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

This grief jouney is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at once and can make us feel like we are literally going insane. It is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experience is guilt, and it is one of the hardest of the emotions to reconcile. Guilt comes from looking back and pondering all the "why didn't Is" "why did Is" "I should haves" - - and on and on and on. From what you have shared with us it is very clear that you did the very best for your beloved E at all times. This is all our companions ask of us.

Our companions are very adept at disguising how they are feeling. It is part of their survival mechanism they inherit from their wild cousins. Any sign of sickness, weakness, injury, etc., makes them easy prey, so they deliberately disguise how they are feeling until they can no longer do it. Of course this is little consolation to us - - their cargivers. Unfortunately by that the time the illness / injury has already begun to take a toll on their body. Sometimes veterinary medicine can help stabilize and restore a good quality of life, while at other times the only thing we can do is keep our companions as comfortable and happy as possible until it is time to release them from their physical body.

Although this grief adjustment journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity, there is good news. The love bond you and your beloved E share is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your physical connection to your beloved E has transformed to a different dimension. His sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as he always has and always will. He is forever a part of your heart and your memories, orpheenoire, - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.

As Gretta's Mom and Valentino have already so comfortingly shared with you, please let me try to affirm their words: This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. One of the many things you need to remember during your grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. One of the many ways you can find comfort in your grief journey is to help comfort your precious kitty who is also grieving the physical loss of her housemate. In comforting her, you will also receive comfort.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss in your heart, orpheenoire. I can only hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, encouragement, support, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved E with us, orpheenoire. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you would like to. Please know you and your precious companion are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[DannysMom]

orpheenoir, please accept my sincere sympathies on the loss of your precious cat, E. When I looked at his photo my heart ached for you. What a beautiful Tuxedo boy! I lost my sweet Danny (also a Tuxedo cat) last December. The Tuxes are very special. They are gentle and playful cats. Your E. looked like he was very loving. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't think there was anything you could have done. Once they stop eating and drinking that is an indication that their systems are shutting down and they are not far from death. You did the most loving thing for him by letting him go. The next few days and weeks are going to be so difficult, I know. Please make sure that you take good care of yourself and give your other cat extra special attention as she is grieving too over the loss of her companion. I pray you will find some peace.

Hugs,
DannysMom