My Baby Boy :( Options

[moon_beam]

Hi, Forever, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Danny'sMom has given you some very excellent suggestions. If I may add one more: if you have a door gate, and two would be great, you can gate off the door way to the room that Ellie is in - - putting one gate on top of the other to discourage jumping over the gate - - so that Ellie and her house mates can get acquainted with one another with the safety of the gate between them. Then when you're able to, introduce them under supervised visits, keeping the first visit brief then extending the time little by little until you see them relaxing in each other's company. I hope this helps in addition to Danny'sMom's excellent suggestions.

I hope today is being kind to you and your precious furkids, Forever. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you and your precious fur tribe are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[xxForeverxx]

My Chewy

I wanted to stop by and say how much I miss you. Although it seems to get easier carrying out activities getting upset it doesn't stop me having a little cry for you when I'm driving home or on my own. It still hurts that I couldn't do anything to help you. But then part of me does understand now that hints happen out of our control and you know I would have given the world to get you back. One thing I do keep thinking though....I spent so much time loving you, worrying about you when I was out of the house, doing everything for you first over anything else or anyone else in the house (not because you were needy but because I love you and you gave me something better....unconditional love) maybe I was punished for loving you to much and being too paranoid about losing you.....and maybe that is why you were so cruelly taken from me....to teach me a lesson that bad things happen know matter what.....I know I shouldn't think like that baby but. Ant help it sometimes as I have to wander why it happened.

Anyways I love you baby....forever and one day we will meet again.

xxForeverxx

[DannysMom]

My Chewy

I wanted to stop by and say how much I miss you. Although it seems to get easier carrying out activities getting upset it doesn't stop me having a little cry for you when I'm driving home or on my own. It still hurts that I couldn't do anything to help you. But then part of me does understand now that hints happen out of our control and you know I would have given the world to get you back. One thing I do keep thinking though....I spent so much time loving you, worrying about you when I was out of the house, doing everything for you first over anything else or anyone else in the house (not because you were needy but because I love you and you gave me something better....unconditional love) maybe I was punished for loving you to much and being too paranoid about losing you.....and maybe that is why you were so cruelly taken from me....to teach me a lesson that bad things happen know matter what.....I know I shouldn't think like that baby but. Ant help it sometimes as I have to wander why it happened.

Anyways I love you baby....forever and one day we will meet again.

xxForeverxx

xxForeverxx, what a sweet and loving letter you wrote to your Chewy! What happened to your precious Chewy was very very traumatic. It was an unexpected death and a shock. xxForeverxx, you are trying to make sense of this tragic event and asking why it happened. This side of heaven we may never know why some things happened, but I don't believe you were punished for loving Chewy too much. God is Love -- that means his very nature is to be loving, and when we show these little creatures of his so much love and care that is always a good thing. It is human nature trying to make sense out of tragic events, trying to find some sort of explanation that will satisfy us in some small measure. It is also human nature to have some sense of being in control of our lives in some way.

I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. Please know that your beloved Chewy is right there in your heart and the sweet memories of him will be with you always.

Hugs,
DannysMom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Forever, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful love letter to your beloved Chewy with us. Please permit me to say that what our forum friend Cheri shared with you in her response to you is also in my heart, so please read her response frequently and know that it is also in my heart.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Forever, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Chewy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[xxForeverxx]

Thank you moon_beam and Dannysmom

You are right about Cheri's response. I have bad days where I feel like I could have done more but than I have been starting to have better days too now where I thank god for being able to have my Chewy to love and care and to find a cat that could give me so much love back.

Dannysmom your words are so true. I think the problem is some days I feel a bit better but then I feel guilty for having a good day as I feel like I shouldn't as my Chewy can not anymore. But I also know that it is silly and if we all felt like that every time we lost someone close to us then the whole population would not survive as there would be no happiness in the world. Grief is a hard path but thanks the knowing I owned such a wonderful, loving cat, the help of my two kittens Fudge and Pixie and my new cat Ellie I am starting to feel a little happier again.

My Chewy....when the sun comes out I smile again. This is because I am thinking of you and remembering how you use to love sleeping in the sun in the garden. I will always love you baby. And even when I am smiling it is because I knew you....you made me want to smile. I wander what mischieve you and the kittens would be getting up to now....no doubt they would be trying to playing with you and you would just want to sleep on the bed! But I am sure they miss you. Daddy misses you but he is better at keeping his emotions together. He always has been good at that. I will keep writing to you baby as it helps me to get out what I want to say. I hope you are having lots of fun wherever you are today and I hope it is sunny there too.

Love you baby....Mummy xx

[Pippin's Mom Kel]

Dear xxForeverxx,

I know what you mean, when you expressed wondering if you're being punished for loving too much - I, too, have wondered the same thing in the light of my Pippin's death. This is much easier for me to say to you than it is for me to say it to myself, though:

Of all the things we could do in this life, loving is the most important, most blessed, self-sacrificing, beautiful thing we can do.

Whatever anyone's beliefs are, I cannot imagine that loving is something we would ever be punished for. It is so, so hard to feel this way in the depths of our grief for this type of loss, but how very lucky are we to have known that type of love? I firmly believe that we will know it again, some day, when we meet our little friends and are reunited - and I believe that they're still right alongside us, in our hearts, even if we can't see them with our eyes.

It's okay to have good days, xxForeverxx. Chewy would want you to - and wherever Chewy is, he IS having a good day!

This is so hard, and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Thank you for sharing how you're doing, and your loving thoughts of Chewy.

[xxForeverxx]

Thank you Kel

You are right of course. Love is the most important thing as if we did not have love then life would be meaningless. I hope you are having better days to. We all understand it is hard and it is much easier to give advice then follow advice. Its funny how half the time I find myself saying things to people but thinking why can't I follow my own advice.


Chewy....my baby....are you sending the sun to me? It has been a lovely sunny few days. It has made me smile when I am out. I still look at the garden though wishing I could see you run around that tree and lay down by it. And I wish I could hear your meow outside the door again. I am glad you came into my life though and I would not change anything for the world. You were my perfect baby even when you were getting up to mischieve!

I love you baby and I hope you are having a lovely day.

Mummyxx

[xxForeverxx]

My Chewy

It's been another sunny warm day here. I hope it's like that where you are. You would have loved lazing around in the sun today. I had lunch with my daddy today and he reminisced with me about his childhood and we talke about you two as you not only touched my heart living with me and your daddy but my daddy loved coming to see you too. He was upset when we had to let you go but he helps me remember the good times we had with you. See Chewy? That's just how special you are.....you touched everyone's hearts that came across you.

I love you baby....always.

xxMummyxx

[DannysMom]

My Chewy

It's been another sunny warm day here. I hope it's like that where you are. You would have loved lazing around in the sun today. I had lunch with my daddy today and he reminisced with me about his childhood and we talke about you two as you not only touched my heart living with me and your daddy but my daddy loved coming to see you too. He was upset when we had to let you go but he helps me remember the good times we had with you. See Chewy? That's just how special you are.....you touched everyone's hearts that came across you.

I love you baby....always.

xxMummyxx

Dear xxForeverxx, your Chewy was such a special little boy cat. I am glad that your Dad had lunch with you and reminisced with you. It is always good to have the loving support of family and friends to get us through the difficult times. My Danny boy also loved lounging and letting the sun shine on his body.

[xxForeverxx]

Hi DannysMom

Thank you for your reply. It is amazing how they love to be lazy when it's nice outside when you would think they would rather run around loads. When it got too hot for Chewy he would go and find shade in a bush and go to sleep for the rest of the afternoon.

It is hard on the sunny days we are having at the moment. I thought I was coping ok to start with but it's hard as that is when Chewy was his happiest on a a nice sunny day in the garden. I think I feel a bit upset that he was hurt outside near our house where he felt he should be safe as he was always safe before.

Chewy I love you baby.

xxMummyxx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Forever, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I know the sorrow that is in your heart when you say, "I think I feel a bit upset that he was hurt outside near our house where he felt he should be safe as he was always safe before." In spite of our very best efforts to keep our furkids safe from danger there are always the unpredictable circumstances that come up from nowhere that send us to our knees in sorrow with the myriad of questions "how could this have happened? I was always so careful" and on and on and on. The good news is that your beloved Chewy KNOWS that you did everything in your power to provide a happy and healthy and safe environment for him where knows he is loved - - always and forever - - in your heart and your memories.

I hope today is being kind to you, Forever, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Chewy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Chewy with us, Forever. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[xxForeverxx]

My beloved Chewy.

I am so sorry it has been so long since I last wrote. Mummy and Daddy had a bit of a bad week (not between us but just with some bad news) but we are both smiling now and I needed to come on here as soon as I was smiling to send my love to you. I have cried a few times for you this week baby as the memory of losing you is still so vivid but I also thank whoever let me love you so much as you truly were the most wonderful cat in the world. And still are of course you are just else where playing with other wonderful fur babies.

Love you always

Mummy ***x

[xxForeverxx]

My Baby boy Chewy

With each month that passes I miss you even more. I also love you more and more as well. I is so hard to enjoy the sunny whether at home without you. I hope you are happy where you are. I still have my favourite picture of you as my laptop desktop background. I'm going to have it framed as it shows just how photogenic you were. It's a truly beautiful photo.

God I miss you baby.I wall always and forever so so to will I love you.

Mummy ***x

[DannysMom]

Dear xxForeverxx, I hope today is treating you and your fur kids kindly. I do so understand how it is hard for your to enjoy the sunny weather as it reminds you so much of your beloved Chewy. Danny always enjoyed morning naps in the sun on my two-seater in the living room where the sun hits early in the morning. I've since kept the blinds closed there as it just reminds me too much of Danny.

I am so sorry that you lost your sweet Chewy in such a tragic way, and I know it will continue to hurt for quite some time. He was a sweet little boy cat, and it is good that you treasure the memories of him. I found that putting up photos of Tina and Danny helps, but then sometimes it also hurts as I look at the pictures and then I long for them to be with me again. And I'm sure it's the same for you when you look at a picture of Chewy.

[xxForeverxx]

Hi DannysMom

Thank you for your reply. I know what you mean about looking at photos and smiling but then also feeling sad. Iv had a few big cries over the last few weeks as it does still hurt so much but then we loved our fur babies so much so why shouldn't it? I am starting to see it is all because we loved them just so so much that is why it hurts so much. I would take this hurt again any day to show my love for him.....although of course even better I would just have Chewy back here with me.

Have the others has definately helped and I am glad I got Ellie as she does remind me of him. I do accidentally call her Chewy sometimes though but I don't think she minds.....I give her lots of hugs.

Chewy was the best cat I will ever own as he was also my first......the one that made me open up my heart for animals......the one that taught me what love is. I am so grateful he allowed me to love him as much as I did.

I love you my mr Chew Chew.

Thanks DannysMom for your continued support.

xxForeverxx

[DannysMom]

xxForeverxx, I am so glad that Ellie is bringing you so much joy. And I am sure that your Chewy is smiling down on both of you. I didn't know that Chewy was your first cat. That certainly does make him very, very special. My very own first cat was a birthday present. She was a little female orange tabby cat. They are very rare as about 80% of orange tabbies are male. She was a tiny cat, and so very sweet. She used to nudge my face and let me playfully grab her while hiding under the bed sheets. And she loved laundry day. She would always hide in the fresh sheets when I brought them in from the dryer. Oh, those memories. I'm sure you have lots and lots of wonderful memories of your Chewy.

[xxForeverxx]

Hi DannysMom

Yes he was my first. Me and my fiance got him three and a half years ago. Its funny as before I was never bothered about animals.......my mum and dad always had cats.......they didn't interest me......and then my other half looked after his mums cat when she moved to France and although I use to stroke her I was still never really that bothered. And then my mums best friend took in Chewy and his sister but they could not cope with two (i think originally because of her asthma although they have had a dog since then!) and I thought why not take Chewy in. And it is the best decision I have ever made. He was and still is the best cat ever and I miss him so much. I think it hurts because I was obsessed with him.....I would always say to my fiance, "hes so healthy hes going to live to a big age" (as his mums cat lived to 22!). Of course I have learnt now that unfortunately life does not always work like that. But I would go through that pain 100 times more just to get another day with him and I am happy that I got those three years with him.

What was your first cats name? she sounded lovely.

xxForeverxx

[DannysMom]

Hi DannysMom

Yes he was my first. Me and my fiance got him three and a half years ago. Its funny as before I was never bothered about animals.......my mum and dad always had cats.......they didn't interest me......and then my other half looked after his mums cat when she moved to France and although I use to stroke her I was still never really that bothered. And then my mums best friend took in Chewy and his sister but they could not cope with two (i think originally because of her asthma although they have had a dog since then!) and I thought why not take Chewy in. And it is the best decision I have ever made. He was and still is the best cat ever and I miss him so much. I think it hurts because I was obsessed with him.....I would always say to my fiance, "hes so healthy hes going to live to a big age" (as his mums cat lived to 22!). Of course I have learnt now that unfortunately life does not always work like that. But I would go through that pain 100 times more just to get another day with him and I am happy that I got those three years with him.

What was your first cats name? she sounded lovely.

xxForeverxx

xxForeverxx, that is such a nice story of how Chewy came into your life. I was looking at his pictures again, and my heart aches for you. His kitten picture is absolutely adorable! Such a sweet face! It's easy to see why you loved him so much. Your Ellie does look very similar to him, and I hope that she will be with you for a very long time. Chewy was taken way too soon, in the prime of his life.
My first cat's name was Twinkie. When I was trying to think of a name for her I was reminded of that delicious snack, and blurted out:"Twinkie". She turned her head and meowed as if she approved, and the name stuck. She would always come to me when I called her name. She was a tiny cat, but I once saw her puff her tail and arch her spine to scare of a big dog.

[xxForeverxx]

Hi DannysMom

Thank you for your reply. Such a brave cat to stand up to a dog. I think most of the time dogs are more afraid of cats then cats are of dogs! I love that name Twinkie.....perfect name I think.

Isn't it amazing Chewy how long has gone already.......time does not fly when your having fun as this is not fun at all. Not without you. I kiss my hand and touch your photo every single day. I hope the kiss reaches you up there. Sometimes I still think of the day it happened and I still cry......I still cry for you anyways as I miss you so much laying with me and playing with me. Sometimes I wander how I manage without you.

The pain is unbearable. I am lucky you accepted Fudge ad Pixie into our lives as they have given me something to concentrate on as well as guiding me to Ellie. I want to give them a good life because of you Chewy.

I love you.

xxMummyxx

[DannysMom]

Dear xxForeverxx, I know what you mean about being amazed at how much time has passed since your precious Chewy's death. I too marvel at how much time has passed since my Danny died. Even though we go on living and breathing there is still this underlying sadness that won't go away. Something precious was taken from us, grief has shattered our happy world. I was re-reading your posts about Chewy, and I thought it was so sweet how he played with one of your bunnies. I've read somewhere that cats and bunnies can actually have good relationships. I am so sorry that your garden has become a sad place for you without Chewy. Have you thought about putting up a little remembrance place for Chewy in your garden? You could plant something or put a little cat statue there. I don't know if this would help, it's just a thought.

I am so glad that Fudge, Pixie and Ellie are bringing you so much joy. Ellie is very beautiful and she does resemble Chewy quite a bit. I am sure that Chewy is looking down on you and smiling, knowing that Ellie is comforting you and bringing you joy.