How To Go On... Options

[Meadowlark]

My sweet little girl,

I hope that one day I will be able to recall on you smiling and with merely a tear in my eye as opposed to being flooded by sadness and tears.


I love you and miss you so incredibly much Gina.

[kitkatjp]

Dear Meadowlark,
I lost by 16.5 year old baby the day after Thanksgiving and this board was the only place I could find people that were feeling what I was going through. Being single with no children myself I understand how you feel. The lonleness is hard as she was also the only pet that I ever had. I had this overhwhelming guilt for a week and would just cry myself to sleep. Its gotten a bit better but I still go home and expect to see her at my front door waiting for me when I go in. I started volunteering at a no kill cat shelter that is in my neighborhood this past weekend and it has help my immensly. The volunteers and their stories of their loss, and being around other kitties and feeling like I am helping them in some way has put a smile on my face for the first time in 2 weeks. I am finally starting to realize that I did what was best for her and I gave her an amazing life for over 16 years. I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers!
Kathryn

Hermy's Mommy & Corinnajane,

Thank you for your condolences. Day to day functioning is happening, I'm just not finding a lot of happiness and joy in things these days....there is a song called “Time to Say Goodbye” and the beginning lyrics really strike my heart.
“When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
There is no light in a room where there is no sun
and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.”

Beautiful & heartbreaking.

Hermy's Mommy, thank you for reminding me that my feelings are natural. I tend to judge my feelings too much (a bad habit of mine). I hope that eventually they will fade, and I will only be left with the facts & that I'll be able to face the facts & reality & accept it and move on, not forgetting her. Only remembering her with a smile & maybe tears in my eyes as opposed to sobbing all of the time when I think of her. I also didn't think it was natural to backtrack, but thank you for reminding me that it's okay. I feel like it comes in waves...

Corinnajane, she did have amazing presence. Thanks. Later on, when I'm feeling less sad & depressed about her passing I would like to add some sillier pictures of her. Her tongue would stick out sometimes and we were always taking photos of her doing it. Quite silly. But she still had presence. Just silly presence at the time.

Again, I am so thankful to have you all help me in this sad and confusing journey. I can only hope that someday I will be able to do the same with others in this forum.

~*Meadowlark.

[leejaye]

Dear meadowlark, I am so very very sorry for your loss, reading your Gina's story really took me back to how hard those first days, weeks, are...please know I am thinking of you and your beautiful girl today and hoping you can find a moment of peace, Leejaye

[Meadowlark]

Here it is 10pm and I'm back on this wonderful forum. At times, I fear I may be on here too much,but here I am...

Kitkatjp, what a wonderful photo of your girl. She was just beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for reassuring me that my feelings are valid.
I don't feel like a lot of people in the "outside world" really get it. When your pet(s) are your children, the loss is just as significant, yet so many are not there for you when you need them because they think, "Oh, it's just a pet. They should really be getting over this by now." But that's not how all of us on this site feel. So, it is nice (and sad) at times to hear about others journey through the grieving process. I do hope that the guilt fades away. I still feel like I have failed her in some way, and that it isn't fair that medical technology in the veterinary world isn't up to par with the human world...

Volunteering at an animal shelter is on my list as well. I worked for one for years (where I got my girl) and I agree, there is something about helping others less fortunate that makes you feel like you're making an impact & that your intentions & care matter.

Leejaye, thank you for your sympathy. I went to your page & saw photos of your gorgeous baby. It comforts me to know that my feelings were a reminder of how you felt, and that the pain will lessen as time goes as it hopefully has with you.

Thank you both again for your kind words, as well as your thoughts & prayers.

~*Meadowlark

[Bobbie]

Dear Meadowlark,

What a beautiful, beautiful picture of Gina!!! She is gorgeous! Thank you for sharing her picture! I still cannot figure out how to get picture to post on here. I am a real computer dinosauer.

But back to you.....I think about you and Gina all the time. Although I am not able to write like I want to, you and so many others just starting to travel down this wicked grief journey (rollercoaster) are always close to my heart. And, of course, Trevor has watch on every one of your companion(s). This is not an easy road to travel, by any means, so please allow yourself more than enough time to feel and pass through all of your emotions and thoughts. Even though it feels like the grief might kill you, it will not. And, slowly, in the time that is right for YOU, you will begin to feel not quite as sad as the days before, not quite as utterly lonely as you have, you will feel Gina's Spirit gradually filling your heart, soul and body until Gina and you are one, once again. This time in a different plane. I promise you this, Meadowlark, because I am beginning to really feel that way with my Trevor. Oh, I will always be sad and miss Trevor like crazy. I will continue to cry when his thoughts come to mind. But the tears will be more comforting and the sadness not as sharp. But only with TIME.

I love the idea of volunteering, but I would want to take every single dog home with me and I don't think my heart is up to that, at least right now. It is something to keep in mind for the future. For now, I have Dreamer and all my boys at the Memorial Park (I constantly put seasonal items on their headstones and/or graves: all 8 of them).

Please continue to get some rest and take care of yourself. YOU are very imporant to all of us here!

Blessings............................
Bobbie

[corinnajane]

Hello again, Meadowlark,


Please, if it helps you, be on this site as much as you like. This is its purpose and you are most welcome to write or hang out here as you need. There is a good chance that there will be someone online, as the members are from all over the world, and able to offer support when you need it.

I can tell you that the guilt you are feeling WILL fade, in time. We feel it because we care. The process will unfold in its own time. What you are feeling is perfectly valid, and you are right when you say that a lot of people don't really "get it". I do wish that some people could be a bit more considerate about these things, because it really does hurt so much when you lose your little one.

So, please, be kind to yourself and give yourself time, all the time in the world, to deal with this situation.

The more you tell us about your darling Gina, the more I like her. Did she have a cheeky sense of humour? Or was she just naturally, unconsciously funny?

I have had one calico girl of my own, a stunning girl called Teddy Bear, and known several other torties. They always strike me as farm cats - very active, playful and in tune with nature.

I am always amazed by the fact that such tiny creatures have such massive personalities....

I also get the feeling that Gina would not want you to feel sad.

Hugs,

CJ

[moon_beam]

Hi, Meadowlark, thank you so very much for sharing with us your beautiful pictures of your beloved Gina. She is so pretty. This grief journey takes time to work through all the many emotions of loss. It is a process - - not a sprint - - so please know that there are going to be times when you think you have come through the worst but may find yourself at some point down the road feeling like you haven't made any progress at all. This is very normal.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Meadowlark. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to sharing how you're doing and your treasured memories of your beloved Gina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Meadowlark]

Bobbie, Corrinajane & Moon Beam,

Thank you all so very much for continually taking your time to give a stranger some heartfelt advice.
I have had a few ups and downs these days, as to be expected. A dear friend of mine just lost his mom on Sunday, exactly one week after my girl died, so it's been kind of a strange journey of emotions I've been going through.

I had a terrible breakdown last night when my husband and I went to bed. I think it was triggered by blowing out the candle we light for her every night (it usually goes out on its own, which feels more natural) Having to blow out the candle felt like such a metaphor for her life. ...it might sound crazy to someone who doesn't understand, but for some reason the grief just hit me really hard again last night. I feel like if I try not to think about it all too deeply I can have better, functioning days. But when I start to deeply meditate on what it means to have her really gone, it's when it all comes back and hurts the most. I don't want to ignore my feelings. But I also don't want to be stuck in grief forever. It's so confusing... I sometimes still feel guilty for having a better day.

I know what you mean about volunteering, Bobbie. Gina always kept me honest when I worked at an animal shelter. She wasn't fond other animals, so I couldn't adopt any more (I would sometimes foster others in a separate room of our apartment, but that's as far as it went)...so I know it will be hard the next time I set foot inside a shelter... I'm also so sorry to hear that you've lost 8 loved ones, that sounds like an unbearable amount of grief.. I know someday I'll want to love & welcome another darling in my life, but it feels impossible at times to want to put myself through this level of sadness again...but I know it will get better and that there are too many homeless animals that need a home & love. I just miss her so much....

Corrinajane, I would say she was a mixture of both, cheeky & unconsciously funny. She never really wanted to play much (I think she may have been that way most of her life, but I'm not sure since we adopted her when she was almost 8) if she did feel like playing it was with hair gummies, little pieces of plastic, etc. Never the toys we actually bought her. (chuckle) She loved a toy I made for her, a hair gummy tied to a shoelace, tied to a stick. I'm sure she would have had prey drive (she didn't like other animals much, or she was intimidated by them very much let's just say..) Oh my, she was something else.
She had a big soft side though, I always said her calico personality was 'diluted' because she was a dilute calico. I fostered a tortie kitten once, her name was Kelly. She had to have her eyes removed, it was so tragic) but she was unstoppable & SO sassy. I'll never forget her & that experience.

Moon Bean, I do feel like sometimes I want this grief journey to be almost like a sprint. I just want to be over the sadness and thinking of her with only a smile. And I do sometimes feel as thought I've made progress...and then there is a silent moment where I deeply reflect about her being gone & how much I miss her & just can't stop crying. I just want my heart to feel a little lighter. God, if only I could hold her in my arms and bury her in my face & breathe her in like I always did.

I am truly thankful for people like you all,
I continue to rely on the support of this forum more than most people might realize.

[moon_beam]

"God, if only I could hold her in my arms and bury her in my face & breathe her in like I always did."

Hi, Meadowlark, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing today, and for sharing your beloved Gina with us. I do so very much understand how you feel about wanting to "hold her in my arms and bury her in my face & breathe her in like I always did." I feel your heartbreak, Meadowlark, as I have felt this too about each of my beloved companions who have preceded me to the angels, and most recently my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle who joined the angels 21 months ago (you can read about her on my topic Abbygayle's Journey if you'd like).

I promise you, Meadowlark, that your beloved Gina will always and forever be in your heart and your memories, and hopefully as your deep grief eases you will know that her sweet Living Spirit continues to be with you.

"Thank you all so very much for continually taking your time to give a stranger some heartfelt advice." Please know there are no strangers here - - only friends. Even though we may never physically meet one another during our earthly journey, we are joined together through the most powerful friendship we are blessed to have in our hearts and lives - - through the introduction to one another through our beloved companions. And when we meet one another in heaven's perfect garden, there will be no need for formal introductions for we will already know one another - - and our beloved companions will be by our sides in eternal joy.

Thank you again so much for sharing your beloved Gina with us, Meadowlark. I hope you will find comfort and encouragement and hope in the words I share with you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Meadowlark, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Gina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Meadowlark]

Moon Beam,

I did take the time read through your story about your Abbygayle. It touched my heart because I could tell how very much you loved & cared for her, but I couldn't also help but feel saddened by the long illness that she had to go through & the inevitable loss you suffered. So sorry.

I guess we aren't really all 'strangers' since there is so much advice being given. As I've said before, I've never been the type to rely on the internet for something as serious & delicate as emotional support, but, animal lovers are easier to come by on this site, obviously.

We're still waiting for the animal hospital to call us to let us know that her ashes & paw prints are ready to pick up. I'm anticipating yet dreading that call. We aren't really sure as to what we should do with her ashes. For us, we don't feel it's right to just keep them forever...I know my husband thinks that's morbid. But we live in a city, and don't want to just spread them anywhere. We're going home (down south) for a few days at the end of the month & were thinking of taking them with us and spreading them there...but I feel like ashes should be spread in a place that made an impact on the life of the deceased one. But Gina (being an indoor cat) had no such special place. So...we're still thinking about it...

I'm still trying to find a way to get through moments where I feel so overwhelmed by the finality of her death. I still feel like she's going to jump on the bed at night & then she doesn't & I just cry and cry...

I just have to remember to take it one day...one moment at a time...

Thank you for reading.

[Bobbie]

Dear Meadowlark,

I'm still thinking about you and Gina, even though I've been limited in my time on L-S. I light a small memorial candle every day for Trevor. It usually lasts longer than the time we are awake, so one of us (my husband or me) has to blow the candle out at night. I always say (and Stan is starting to do it, also) "Good Night, Trevor. We love you and will love you forever. See you in the morning!" Somehow, it's not as stark as simply blowing out a candle and going up to bed. (we have the candle in our kitchen) I'm still sleeping with a picture of Trevor (and now Rudy, too) wrapped in a piece of his favorite blanket, tucked next to my heart. The places that the pictures and blanket end up in the morning some times is quite funny, which helps me smile at both boys.

Meadowlark, you are still in the earliest parts of your grief journey and I'm sorry to say, there really isn't any sprinting to be had. But TIME works it's mysterious healing on our hearts, souls and memories. Today marks 20 weeks since my Trevor passed from this life to his next (and much better) life. I cannot believe that 140 days have passed since we said our goodbyes. Although, the sharp, cutting edge of my pain, that shredded my heart and crushed my soul, is not quite as sharp any more, even if I try to get the feeling to return. My eyes leak at the drop of a hat when thinking or talking about Trevor, but even then I find myself remembering some of the better life moments with my dream boat. Relief will come to you and your husband....in a time that is best for each of you. It comes softly and gently, much different than when you lost Gina. When you have those overwhelming moments, try to just "go with the flow" of them. They are a very important part of your remembering Gina and healing at the same time. As unbearable as they may be (and I've had some very bad meltdowns right at this computer, on this site), you will not secumb to your grief, especially if you let it all come out in whatever fashion it takes. Gina knows that every one of your tears and sobs are totally filled with love for her.

If you are troubled about Gina's ashes....again, give yourself some time to make the final decision that you and your husband will be OK with. You do not have to make any hasty decisions. My sister (Gretta's mom) has Gretta's ashes on a bookshelf at home in a very beautiful and simple container. Most wouldn't even notice it, if they weren't looking. YOU WILL find the perfect place for Gina's ashes. Again, I am positive of that. Give yourself, and Gina, enough time.

I am going to Minnesota in th morning and probably will only have time to write to my Trevor, if even that. But please know that Gina and you and your husband are in my thoughs and prayers. Every night that I think of Trevor I also think of Gina - because they are friends now.

Sending you my extra strength and love,
Bobbie (Trevor's mom)

[corinnajane]

Hello again, Meadowlark!

Yes, you're right - we're not strangers, we're just friends that you haven't met in person yet! That's the way I look at it.

Sorry to hear that you broke down the other night after lighting the candle. It sounds like the shock phase of grief has worn off and you are right in the thick of facing this tragedy as a reality.

Your comment about not being able to breathe in Gina anymore really hit home with me. I recall my darling Leo's fur. It was amazing. Somehow, it smelt as lovely as fresh mown grass, or bread, or something like that. These little things that we treasure about our little ones are sometimes the things we miss the most. I am so sorry to hear that you are really feeling the loss of her physical presence right now.

I dreaded receiving my boy's ashes, but, when it happened, it was a huge relief for me. It was lovely to have him back again. I find it a great comfort. All of my other cats that have passed on are buried in the garden, but I always felt that he needed to be cremated, as he always preferred to be with me when he was alive. I am not saying that you will feel the same way, of course, but maybe it will help with the process. Bobbie is so right when he says that there is no rush to decide what to do with the ashes, and I am confident that you will figure out exactly what to do when the time is right. Ceremonies seem to help.

If I was around, I would put the kettle on and you could have a good cry, and show me more of her photos, and tell me more about her awesome, vibrant personality, her favourite spots to snooze and so on.... Unfortunately I can't be there in person but I do send you my warmest regards and support. I hope you'll be okay.

CJ

[moon_beam]

Hi, Meadowlark, thank you so very much for letting us know how you and your husband are doing. And thank you so much for sharing my beloved Abbygayle with me in this time of deepest sorrow for you.

"We're still waiting for the animal hospital to call us to let us know that her ashes & paw prints are ready to pick up. I'm anticipating yet dreading that call."

I can so relate to your feelings of apprehension being notified that your beloved Gina's ashes and paw prints are ready to pick up. After sharing our companions earthly journey being able to hold them, see them, smell them, hear them - - it's a HUGE adjustment to only being able to hold their ashes and clay paw prints.

As CJ has shared with you, I also found it comforting receiving my beloved companions' ashes and paw prints and bringing them back home. I hope you will find comfort as well, Meadowlark. Just take your time in making a decision that is comfortable for both you and your husband.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Meadowlark. I wish there were an easier way through this grief journey. Please know we are here for you, that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Meadowlark]

Thank you all for your continued replies.

I haven't been on in a few days. I felt the need to distance myself for some reason. For the most part, having people "around" me on this site going through similar losses made me feel less alone, but it was a bit overwhelming for a few days.

We picked up her ashes from the animal hospital on Sunday, the 11th, just two weeks after her death. I handled that trip & moment better than I thought I would. I made a special photo collage with a thank you note for 5 doctors who tried to help her, they were very nice to us through it all.

They were kind enough to make a clay paw print of her foot. I'm not a tattoo person, but I'm very tempted to get a tattoo of her print, to have her with me forever....

I do find times where I feel like I'm getting better. But so many things forever remind me of her absence and how much I deeply miss her. My husband is also still going through some rough patches.

This time of year is feels especially difficult, with Christmas everywhere, and songs claiming that it's 'The Most Wonderful Time of the Year'. Kind of makes me sad & bitter at the same time.


I still feel so empty.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Meadowlark, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so glad that the trip to pick up your precious Gina's ashes and paw print was better for you than you had anticipated.

Meadowlark, it is perfectly understandable your feeling a need to "distance yourself" from the forum - - from the sadness. Part of the grief process is needing to find a private place where you can find comfort from all the sorrow and pain, and sometimes that means separating yourself from the rest of the world for awhile - - however much time you need. Just please know we are here for you whenever and for as long and as often as you are up to being here.

Yes, the holidays can feel quite cruel when the heart is grieving. I hope you and your husband will be able to feel your beloved Gina's sweet Living Spirit nestled in your hearts offering you -- her most beloved mom and dad -- comfort and cheer.

Thank you very much for sharing wiht us how you and your husband are doing, Meadowlark. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Meadowlark]

Thank you, Moon Beam.

Some days are better than others. And some nights are better than others. Last night was a sad one. I'm so thankful I have my husband to be present with me in our grief journey.

God, I miss her so much.

I can't believe she's been gone for 3 weeks and 2 days.

Tears stream down my cheeks as I type this. I miss her so.

I just don't know what to do with myself. As I've said before I have a medical issue that is currently keeping me pretty much housebound, so I am constantly surrounded by her absence.

Oh my Gina....the sun shines less bright without you here.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Meadowlark, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I feel your deep grief, Meadowlark, and so understand what you say, "Oh my Gina....the sun shines less bright without you here." Indeed during our deepest grief we feel like the light in our hearts and lives has died - - and that it is impossible for us to be able to have the light restored.

I assure you, Meadowlark, the light of your beloved Gina is forever in your heart, and someday when you least expect it you will feel the warmth of her sweet Living Spirit once again in your heart and life. For now, though, your heart is going through a very painful adjustment. I truly do understand how the addition of a medical challenge intensifies your feelings of grief. I wish there could be a way for me to take this painful adjustment from your heart and life, Meadowlark, but I do not have that power. I can only hope that you can feel the genuine comfort and encouragement I am sending your way to help you in your grief journey.

Meadowlark, I hpoe today is being kind to you, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Meadowlark]

Hello animal friends.

Moon-Beam, thank you for your last reply. I haven't been on here in awhile, as you can probably see.

Christmas & New Year's have come & gone. They were both very empty holidays for my husband & I this year. It was nice to go away to visit family, but we were still reminded of her absence. We were planning on taking her with us in our rental vehicle, for her first car trip (we live in a city, without a car). We were so excited to show her off to friends & family, how sweet she was & how much of a trooper she was with all of her medical problems.

I still cry myself to sleep a few times a week. It's not that I'm surprised by this, but I would just like to be able to sleep at night & maybe cry during the day instead (if I could choose). I have sleeping problems to being with. I actually fear bedtime now & will stay up until I can't keep my eyes open anymore so that hopefully when I lay my head down on the pillow I fall right asleep, instead of letting my mind wander & ultimately focusing on missing Gina & becoming overwhelmed by her death once again.

I didn't cry myself to sleep last night, (thankfully). But I had a dream about her. Dreaming about her is nice & difficult at the same time. But last night's dream was especially difficult. In my dream, I saw her & she is really sick, and then I notice that there is no food or water out for her & I felt awful because I thought that she had died, but here she was, and then suddenly food appeared in bowls spilled messily all over the floor & there were two really filthy litterboxes (in real life I'm very neat, so I'm not sure what this meant) she was trying to use one of the dirty litterboxes & I felt awful for her, then she followed me into the kitchen, and I poured her a glass of water (we actually did this in real life, she had two water sources, a cat bowl, that she never used, and a human glass that she loved to drink out of that was on a treasure chest in our living room) She followed me for the water, jumped up on the chest & started to drink. I eventually woke up, realizing that she actually wasn't here & I broke down. I'm crying even just remembering it now.

I'm working hard on trying not to judge my feelings. But I just go through waves of such deep heartache that it's scary.

I don't cry as often as I did a few months ago, but I do still break down a lot.
I just hope that my heart lightens someday, so that I can look at photos of her & think of her without so much pain.

I read an interesting article recently: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/will-you-get-bitter-or-better/
They say time heals everything, but that isn't necessarily true. You have to be active in your healing, but I'm not quite sure how to do that.

Well, if you've read this far, thank you. And I hope that you all have a nice day. Thanks for being there for me.

~*Meadowlark

[moon_beam]

Hi, Meadowlark, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. It is said that our dreams are a reflection of what we are trying to process during our daily lives. I can understand how disturbing your dream of your beloved Gina is for you. You are still very much adjusting to the painful physical absence of your beloved Gina, and this is what is primarily represented in your dream. The GOOD NEWS of the dream is that you woke up with a memory of what you and your beloved Gina actually did together - - which is Gina's way of letting you know that she is close to you and remembers this special time you both shared together. This part of your dream is GOOD. The earlier part of the dream is your mind's way of processing the deep sorrow that is still in your heart.

Now please do not mistake me for someone who can "interpret" dreams. It's just that I too have experienced similar dreams, and there is a certain amount of "understanding" that takes place in the process. I hope what I have shared with you will bring comfort to you about your dream of your beloved Gina.

Meadowlark, it is not surprising that you are crying more at night than during the day. It is during the evening and night that we find ourselves the most emotionally vulnerable. During the day we are occupied with other things - - work, chores, etc., but as evening and night approaches we find our minds shifting focus. When we are coping with the physical loss of a loved one - - whatever the life form - - it is the evening and night hours that we find ourselves most emotionally vulnerable. It is good that you are allowing yourself to release your sorrow. I promise you that eventually your "heart [will] lightens someday, so that I can look at photos of her & think of her without so much pain." You are already seeing this process evolve "I don't cry as often as I did a few months ago, but I do still break down a lot." Please do not be frightened by this. It's a natural part of this grief adjustment journey. It takes time and patience. It doesn't happen within a prescribed period of time, unfortunately. There is no date on the calendar you can circle and say that this is the day when all the sorrow will be gone. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time - - sometimes one moment at a time. Hang in here, Meadowlark, and please know you are among friends here who are with you through every step of your journey.

"They say time heals everything, but that isn't necessarily true. You have to be active in your healing, but I'm not quite sure how to do that." It is an astute observation that all things are not healed in time. There are some events that happen in our lives that no matter how hard we try cannot be put right on this side of eternity. But we are still faced with the enormous and overwhelming task of proceeding with our lives in as healthy a way as we possibly can. To do this we have to focus on what we CAN do, and do it to the very best of our ability. This can only be done one day at a time, Meadowlark. Each day that has been lived to the best of our ability is a victory, and the more days we can add on to this victory enable us to find a purpose to continue on. There may be days when we will feel like a miserable failure while the following days will provide us the strength and courage to continue on. For you, and each of us who are enduring through the painful adjustment journey of the physical loss of our beloved companions - - your beloved Gina - - this is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum was created. It is a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts and on our minds without fear of rejection, a safe place where we can find the strength, courage, support, and hope to continue on with the help of others who truly do know what we are feeling and are going through.

I hope as you read the words I have shared with you, Meadowlark, that you will find comfort in knowing that what you are feeling is normal, and that you are not alone in your journey. I thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Meadowlark, that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Meadowlark]

Today marks 1 year since my beloved Gina passed away.
I still mourn her, cry from missing her every so often, though I'm not nearly as despondent as I was this day last year.
I just want to take a moment to thank those of you again who replied to my cries for help.
You were all so kind to me, and you didn't even know me. It meant a lot to have people who understood reach out to me.

~Carey Ann ("Meadowlark")

Loving you & missing you so much Gina Mina.

October 11th, 1999 - November 27th, 2011