After The Loss Of 2 Sweet Girls In 11 Months,my Heart Is Broken. Options

[Cethlenn]

I lost Aoife,after 16 years,to CRF in December.I adopted Mieko in late January,too early,but she was such a joy.Moved,due to a layoff.New place had 2 resident kitties=both twice Mieko's mass.She got lethargic in mid=August,brought her in for full testing,x-rays.Nothing found,bloodwork and x-rays normal,a little dehydrated,and weighing 8 lbs,which for a siamese,not alarmingPossible diagnosis,stress-induced pancreatitis.Last week,she was straining at her litterbox.Got her to vet,2 enemas & 3 rounds of sub-Q's,she's obstructed.Get her into surgery a day later.She's dead from liver failure within 48 hours.I am so guilt ridden and sad.

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[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, I am so so very sorry for your losses - I lost my 17 year old girl cat in May, and was devastated (she had chronic kidney failure due to meds for cancer,I lost her in a week...) a new boy cat came into my life about 6 weeks later, I know some of what you are going through and can only imagine how hard the grieving is for you now...please try not to beat yourself up with the guilt, your heart is already breaking - come here whenever you need to, this grief journey is so hard, sending you huge hugs today, leejaye PS Your girls are beautiful, thankyou for sharing their pictures...

[Cethlenn]

They are awesome,the best and and most wonderful princesses one could ever be lucky enough to have snuggle with you.It's so hard-after 11 months,Mieko is gone-and her age was perhaps 6 years.It's too short.
Mieko,or as my significant other called her,Mieko Quixote,clearly spent a long time as a stray.I had so much wanted to give her a forever home.

[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, It probably doesn't help right now but you gave Mieko love and a life it sounds like she had probably never known before - for eleven months you shared friendship and care and life, she will always have a forever home right there in your heart and in all those memories you made together, I hope the universe is gentle with you today, Leejaye

[Cethlenn]

I'm not sure anything helps,but I'm glad someone cares.I loved Mieko,I spent 4 1/2 months of my sustanance on her in 2,and my significant other is trying,but I'm a basket case.

[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, I'd be amazed if you weren't feeling like a basket case - this grief journey is one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time, please be gentle with yourself, thinking of you, Leejaye

[Cethlenn]

I wish you so much joy in your sweet boy;when your heart opens up to a new companion,and the emptiness is filled with purrs,it is a miracle.It's just devastating to lose that miracle so quickly again.Thank you for your kind words;I know your boy has an awesome guardian.

[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, My heart really is aching for you, I can only imagine if I lost my boy now - you describe perfectly the way love blossoms...and to lose it...please know we are here for you whenever you need to talk about your beautiful girls and what you are going through...sending you some good energy and more of my hugest hugs, leejaye

[moon_beam]

Hi, Cethlenn, please permit me to add my sincerest sympthies in the physical losses of your beloved Aoife and Mieko. Losing our companions is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a short period of time compounds our grief.

As leejaye has so comfortingly shared with you, so I wish to affirm her words of wisdom: You did everything humanly and humanely possible for your beloved Aoife and Mieko. When you thought something was not right with your beloved Mieko you took her to see her doctor. Test results, unfortunately, do not always immediately reveal a medical condition - - which also happens with human medicine. You did EVERYTHING you could to provide proper medical attention for your beloved Mieko. What happened is NOT your fault - - but knowing this does not lessen the seering pain of grief in your heart.

And as leejaye has so comfortingly shared with you, so I wish to affirm her words of wisdom: YOU were the one who gave Mieko a loving home for 11 months. This is eternity to her, and YOU are in her heart as her Forever Mom. The love bond you share is eternal, Cethlenn - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Aoife and Mieko are forever in your heart and your memories - - they are forever a part of you - - they are forever a heartbeat close to you.

Cethlenn, I know there are no adequate words in any language that soothe the seering pain that is in your heart. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. One of the many things for you to remember is that you are not alone in your adjustment journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends.

Cethlenn, thank you so much for sharing your beloved Aoife and Mieko with us. I hope today is treating you kindly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Cethlenn, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Cethlenn]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.I'm coping.Washing all of Mieko's beautiful things,and preparing them for storage or donation.Her little "animal" print blanket has sat next to my bed,and I still cannot but lose all semblance of normalacy when I see it.It was the welcome gift from her foster.I tried-am still overcome with guilt.

[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, I found it so terribly hard to pack up Mischief's things, I bundled a lot into a bag and didn't look at it for about a month (when I donated her leftover food to a lady who fosters rescue cats), some things are still sitting around though...I hope Mieko's blanket can bring you some comfort as well as the tears - I slept with Missy's blanket for quite a while after I lost her...I hope the universe is kind to you today, thinking of you and your girls and sending huge hugs, Leejaye

[Cethlenn]

It is hard.My significant other has 2 cats,so the rest of her food will give them the most nutricious diet they've ever known.I've got most everything boxed up.Her precious animal blanket has been washed,and lovingly folded to rest.I can't touch it without dissolving at the moment;I so think to see her jump on it and curl up with pleasure.Still in shock,and sadly,finding it hard to connect with the human world.Each day it does get a little better,especially if I try and stay busy.Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers;I'm sure Aoife and Mieko feel that comfort,in the beyond.

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[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, I'm so sorry for the (beyond) pain you are feeling, this deep grief is so hard and it is so hard to see a way past it. I remember trying to stay busy with "things" after losing Mischief, because if I stopped for a moment I'd just lose it - for this reason I found nights really hard, nothing to stay busy with...I hope the universe is gentle with you and that you find even the smallest moment of peace today - sending hugs, Leejaye

[Cethlenn]

Some day,I hope I feel less guilty.Or cry less,I don't know.I miss my precious princess.And I'm glad my s/o's girls have decent food,but I wish my baby girl could lick my face again.

[Cethlenn]

Some day,I hope I feel less guilty.Or cry less,I don't know.I miss my precious princess.And I'm glad my s/o's girls have decent food,but I wish my baby girl could lick my face again.

[Cethlenn]

Some day,I hope I feel less guilty.Or cry less,I don't know.I miss my precious princess.And I'm glad my s/o's girls have decent food,but I wish my baby girl could lick my face again.

[leejaye]

Dear Cethlenn, Oh, I miss that so much, my girl used to give me kisses (licks) - especially on one eyebrow, if I was sad she'd walk up and kiss me on the cheek...I know I've said it before but this is a slow painful road you are on - but please believe me when i say that in general it eventually gets easier, I say in general, cos even six months in I can still be hit from nowhere by those tears and that ache...I so wish for you that that guilt you carry would ease up on you - I can't see that you went wrong anywhere, I only hear an eternal love in your words about Mieko, how could you do wrong with a love like that? I hope today is easier for you, take care of yourself and sending huge hugs, Leejaye