I Will Always Love You, Princess Cinderella., Thank goodness I emailed this to someone... Options

[Cheryl83]

Hi Rae,

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, on your precious Cinder's one-week 'Angel-versary'.

I'm glad you managed to go to your boyfriends, and get to see Max. I completely understand how agonizing it must have been for you, but you should feel so proud of yourself for getting through another 'hurdle'. I know Cinder is proud of you. Take one small step at a time, that's all you can do.

I hope you manage to enjoy your camping trip. Please know that your beautiful girl is with you wherever you are, whatever you do. There are no earthly boundaries restricting her now.

Take care of yourself,
Cheryl x

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rae, just stopping by to say hello to let you know you, and your mom and dad are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you were able to enjoy your camping trip this weekend, and that you were able to feel your beloved Cinder's sweet Living Spirit there with you keeping you faithful company.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Rae, and I will look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[fcbruno]

Hi Rae

I'm sorry to learn of the loss of your beautiful Cinder. The photo you posted of you and Cinder is lovely and happy. A special memory that you can always cherish.

I lost my Bruno on January 5 this year and now, while memories of him are often in my mind, I've learned to embrace all the sadness I've had over him, absorb it, and naturally process it into a more positive outlook. I guess what I'm saying is, as time goes on after our initial shock and grief, instead of feeling like we're getting further away from our loved ones, in a way we are almost getting closer. Cinder will become more and more a part of you like never before, as Bruno is becoming with me.

Cinder's love for you really comes across in that photo. She looks like such a lovable friend.

Take gentle care of yourself.

Peter

[Kristina]

Rae

I hope your camping trip is going well. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and hope you are having the best time. i also hope your dad is feeling better after his surgery. I bet Cinder and Dixie are having so much fun watching you enjoy yourself on your trip. They know it will do you so much good.

Sending my love to you my friend, and to your whole family.

[raerae777]

Hi all,

We made it back safe and sound yesterday afternoon. We had a blast, but it was difficult coming home and not having Cinder there to get all excited and sniff everything down. Danny even said it felt weird and he wished she was there so they could curl up and take a nap. It was nice to have a change of scenery and (sort of) get my mind off of things. I still thought about her a lot and we even had a black butterfly hanging around our camp. I teared up a few times, but managed to hold it together. I was even able to play with a friends yellow lab, Saddler. We played fetch and swam in the river. I think she helped some. I cried last night before bed thinking of Cinder. I almost feel like she is slipping farther away from me and I don't know why. Maybe it's just my way of getting through this, but I still always think of her.

Peter, thank you for your kind words. I love that video of your sweet Bruno. He was so handsome and he looks so happy! His gray whiskers remind me of Cinder when she was older. I do hope that I start feeling closer to Cinder instead of farther away.

Cheryl, thank you for your sweet words. It is a comfort to think of Cinder being with me every step of the way now. I know she had a blast on the camping trip.

As always, thank you Kristina and moon_beam for your thoughts. You guys have helped me so much. Kristina, I hope you are feeling better after your surgery. My dad is doing pretty well, he's up and walking around a lot.

Thanks again to y'all and everyone on this board.

Much love.

Cinder's Mama

[moon_beam]

"I almost feel like she is slipping farther away from me and I don't know why."


Hi, Rae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and how things went on your camping trip. When our hearts are grieving it is hard to feel our beloved companions close to us - - for our hearts are in the full force of adjusting to the loss of their physical presence with us. Hopefully as your deep grief eases you will begin to be able to feel your beloved Cinder's sweet Living Spirit with you in your heart.

I firmly believe the black butterfly is Cinder's way of letting you know that she is with you. It's one thing for you to see them so active in your own property - - but truly awesome for you to see them on your camping trip. If this isn't Cinder's way of letting you know she is with you I'll eat my hat!!!

Rae, it is an honor and a privilege to be among our friends here on this Forum to try to offer you some comfort, support, and encouragement during your adjustment journey. I hope today is being kind to you, and your mom and dad, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Rae, and look forward to knowing how you and your mom and dad are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[nurse2b013]

Rae, I'm so glad you had fun on your camping trip. Sometimes it is nice to have something to be distracted by so we can "escape" the deep grief for a while. It makes me happy to hear you also had a black butterfly at your campsite. I truly think thats Cinder hanging out with you!

I totally get how hard it is to come home from a trip, and back to the reality of our situations. It's tough not to think about the other times we've returned home from a trip when our furbabies were still alive, and how they would react to our homecoming. It seems like everything now is a comparison to "when she was alive" and now...and that's very tough. As we continue to experience the different "firsts" after our losses, I'm so thankful to know I'm not alone in how I am feeling and grieving.

You and Cinder are often in my thoughts! Hang in there!

[raerae777]

Well today was just okay. I felt a little blue and unmotivated to do anything. It has been really hard to get out of bed lately. Cinder always woke up early with my mom and once she went to work, Cinder usually (loudly) busted my door open if I wasn't already up and she was wanting me to wake up. I am NOT a morning person, but of course I always got up for her. I miss her so much. I thought I saw her laying in our dining room earlier today.

I am reading a book called A Dog's Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron. It is such a sweet book and is written from the view of a dog. I read a part of it last night where the dog talks about how his sole purpose in life was to love "his boy" and make him happy and stuff like that. I broke down because it made me think of Cinder (the dog thinks all of this right before he dies). The dog in the book says he would never want the boy to cry over his death and be unhappy because of him. I think that is exactly how Cinder feels, but I cried over her for a while last night. I wonder if this will ever get any easier. I have a stuffed black dog that I have had ever since I was born (you think I was always meant to have a big black dog?) and I've slept with it almost every single night of my life. I have been hugging it so close to me every night, it comforts me a little bit.

My mom and I talked about puppies again tonight. I think we have all decided we want another lab. I told her I thought I was almost ready. I'm not sure she is though. I think she still can't get past the "replacement" feeling. I told her Cinder would want us to be happy, not sad over her, but I'm just not sure yet either. I think dad has been ready for another dog, but we might wait until he is better healed from his surgery.

Cinder, mama loves you and always will. You'll always be my #1 girl and soul mate. We grew up together and no dog can ever replace our time with each other. I will never ever share the same bond with another animal as I did with you. But I will always give them all my love and hopefully bond with them in different ways throughout my life. I know that is what you would want. I love you stinky head.

Much love to you all.

Cinder's Mama

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you, and your mom and dad are doing. You are so right, Rae, that the bond you have with your beloved Cinder cannot be replaced. Cinder shared your life during a different time with different needs. Each of our beloved companions come into our lives at different stages in our lives, so no two or three or - - fifty - - relationships with our beloved companions can ever be the same. When you and your mom are as ready as your dad to embrace a new companion you will know it - - and your beloved Cinder will guide you and your new companion together.

I hope today is being kind to you, Rae, and that you and your mom and dad will have a very peaceful evening. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[cowboy]

Hi rae. Im glad you got to have fun camping. Cinder would be happy that you were able to get out and have some fun. Im going to have to looke into that book. It sounds like it would be alot of fun to be in a dogs head as he runs around all day. I know that when yall are ready for a new dog cinder will be there with you the whole time. Helping look after the new guy or girl. Heck I know cowboy will be there with cinder helping. Well have a good night and know that I keep you and cinder in my thoughts.

[raerae777]

Thanks so much y'all. Your comforting words mean more than you will ever know. I've been okay today. I broke down last night. I was walking Danny out to his truck and thought he was leaving so i walked back to see Cinder. I figured Danny would follow me if he saw me walk back there. I cried and talked to her some and Danny hugged me and told me some comforting words. He said "you gotta let her go (physically), but you know she's always right here in your heart." He's so right, I know she is with me all the time. I just want to hold her and feel her and smell her again. The house feels so empty all the time. I am starting to feel a little less depressed though I know I will have good days and bad days.

Thank you all for being here and listening. I hope everyone is doing well.

Much love.

Cinder's Mama

PS. Cowboy, the book is great. I find myself laughing out loud at it. It is also very touching and sweet. I would definitely recommend it.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. This adjustment journey has often been described as a horror roller coaster ride - - so many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds. Just when you think you're past the spirals and upside downs - - and it feels like you're slowing down - - something can come along to speed up the ride again. The good news is that slowly eventually the ride does become much slower, and the intervals of the spirals and turnarounds become more spaced out. This adjustment journey is not one of "letting go" - - but adjusting to the physical absence of our beloved companions. This is not an easy process by any stretch of the imagination - - it takes time - - one day at a time - - in your own way and your own time. For some there is a need to have some "connection" - - and they find comfort in being able to have their beloved companion in a beautiful resting place where they can go visit. Rae, you must do what is comforting for YOU, and whatever that decision is, my friend, please know your beloved Cinder is nodding her head in approval and sending you all her love. And you will always have our support, encouragement, and comfort, too.

I hope you and your mom and dad will have a very peaceful evening, and a pleasant weekend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Rae, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[raerae777]

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. I think I have a sinus infection and have been a little under the weather. I'll probably go to the doc tomorrow blah. Anyways, I've been okay the past few days. Had a few breakdowns. Friday night, I was looking at puppies online and cried. It just breaks my heart to see all of the dogs abandoned and without a home, I wish I could take them all. Somehow I stumbled upon the Rainbow Bridge poem and of course it made me sob. I could just think of Cinder running and playing with her youthful body, but still feeling that a part of her is missing. That's how I feel. It's like I'm going about my life, but I still feel the ache inside. It seems to hit me at random moments. I can just imagine us running and crashing into each other again one day.

I am struggling with the "replacement" feelings. I don't want to feel like the new puppy is replacing Cinder and I'm not sure how to get past those feelings. There will never be another girl like her and I guess I can't get over that she won't ever be back. Sometimes I feel as if she is just gone away somewhere and will be back soon.

Mom and dad are doing okay. I think mom is more ready for a puppy now. She has been looking online a lot. Dad seems a little depressed after his surgery; maybe he's wanting a puppy too.

I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend and I am always thinking of everyone. I'm going to add the Rainbow Bridge poem in case someone has never read it. It comforted me to think I will see my baby again one day.

Much love.

Cinder's Mama



When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well - - a sinus infection can indeed make one feel "blah." I hope your doctor is able to help speed up the process for you to feel better.

Rae, the "feeling of replacement" will eventually ease when your heart has come to find a peace in your adjustment journey. It's just a matter of taking one day at a time and allowing yourself to go through your journey in your own way and in your own time. You and Cinder shared a very special bond that was only between you two, just as Cinder shared her own special and different bond between your mom and dad.

I hope your dad is doing okay. Sometimes anesthesia can bring feelings of sadness / depression. It takes awhile for the full effects of anestheia to work out of the body - - I've had enough surgeries in my life to identify with how your dad may be feeling. I hope he's doing well in his recovery.

Thank you for sharing the Rainbow Bridge poem. I cannot read it without sobbing, too. But it does bring comfort and hope to the heart that one day - - at our appropriate time - - we will be reunited with our beloved companion(s) in eternal joy. Thank you so much for including this poem in your note to us.

Rae, I hope today is being kind to you, and that you, and your mom and dad, will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Rae, and always look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[cowboy]

Hi Rae. Yeah I love that poem too. It was first shown to me the day cowboy passed and it still makes me cry. A little funny story, I posted on facebook about my cowboys passing and on one of my posts a friend of mine said something about him waiting at the rainbow bridge for me. I took it as a religious view at the time because of the whole norse mythology having a rainbow bridge in it but later that day I was with some friends and one of them was telling me about this poem and she said it was entitled the rainbow bridge. Thats when I first got to read it. So I told my friend on facebook later that I loved the poem. I dont know anything to tell you about the replacement thing. I myself am afraid of that feeling too. I think given some time we will see other furry friends as being individuals with their own loving personalities instead of seeing our lost loved ones in them. I hope your sinus infection gets better soon. I get those on a regular basis and get to go a few rounds with antibiotics. Well I hope you have a good night.

[Kristina]

That poem always gets me. Our doggy funeral home sent us home with a bunch of poems, and I framed them and put them on the shelves with Dixie's urn and belongings.

I feel you 100% on the new dog thing. Taking the first step and filling out applications was really hard for me, but I know in my heart that I am ready. In turn it keeps my mind from being sad all the time. I think about what it will be like to bring our new puppy home, and all the things we will do with her, training her and playing with her, and everything. I admit I am getting pretty excited. I am on pins and needles waiting to hear back if we will get one of the two we have applied for.

I am glad all of you are feeling more ready for a new dog. I think the whole family has to be at that point, or else someone will feel bad. I think Aj was ready before I was, but he was waiting for the go ahead from me before we started seriously looking. We knew we wanted another lab, but that she definitely could not be black. It is way too soon for that.

When your family finds the right one, you will know, and I know you know that.

I hope you are feeling better. I have been getting stuffy due to the weather, it is blazing hot, then will cool off and get incredibly humid and gross. I am definitely ready for fall.

I am always thinking about you and your family. Much love to you.

[raerae777]

Well I'm struggling a bit today. My dad is finally starting to get back to his old self. We went to see Cinder last night and walking back he asked me when I wanted to get a dog. I told him I was ready whenever they were. He is being picky though! We are struggling with the decision of a shelter dog or a pure bred pup. I have been looking at the shelter dogs and although I would love to have them all, none of them are really "catching" my eye. Maybe I'm being too picky? I just don't know. I know I'm ready to let a new dog into my life, but why is it so hard to pick one? I have absolutely fallen in love with some Weimaraner puppies, but again I feel the guilt of not "rescuing" a shelter dog. Anyone have any advice?

And then I think about Cinder and how there will never be another. It's just tough to swallow sometimes.

On a good note, I finally got her scrapbook in the mail today so I can start working on it. It is just a plain white book as of now. I plan on painting it tonight and then sifting through pictures to pick my favorites. That will be hard because I love them all.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Much love.

Cinder's Mama

[Kristina]

Rae if you guys want another Labrador there are tons and tons of labby rescues all over the place. I get on petfinder, and then I also look at individual rescue pages. Shelters don't always post all of the dogs they currently have, so maybe taking a trip to see what they have would be good. The only reason we haven't gone to look at the shelter yet is because I am not feeling up to it yet, plus we have applications in on the two girls already.

I can't wait to see what your scrapbook looks like when it is done. I spent a lot of time today looking through pictures of Dixie.

I am glad your family is ready to move forward. It's hard, but it will be rewarding in the end when that new baby comes home. Cinder will be happy that you are sharing your love with another in need.

Thinking about you always.

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello RaeRae

Follow your heart! Do NOT feel guilty about choosing the Weimareiner (sp?) puppies instead of a rescue dog! I know that probably flies in the faces of many people, especially animal lovers. I think it's a matter of the heart. When that rush of love comes over you it's not an accident ... it means something. Of course we dog lovers can love any dog ... but somehow I trust that totally irrational feeling you get in your heart over one particular dog. That's how I came to have Rufus after my Gretta passed. Gretta is the first dog I have had as an adult - she is truly my spirit double. After all that emptiness, all that love with nowhere to put it, like many others I looked on the web site of the rescue agency from which I'd adopted Gretta. Here was Rufus ... his eyes were incredible ... they looked at you right out of the picture. But I'm only a couple of years from a fixed income (as they say) and vet bills being what they are, I was looking for an older dog (Rufus's write-up said he was a 7 year old black lab weighing about 90 pounds). So I tried another local site and they had an 'emergency dog' - a nine-year old Chessie-Chocolate lab mix (so they said). i thought that would be perfect - Gretta was a chocolate lab and my other 'best dog' was a Chessie who lived next door to my dad. Everything seemed right. Until I met the dog. No lab blood that I could see. I think she was a chessie and some kind of large terrier. Stong, a puller - but I can cope with that. But ... she attacked the store owner's mild mannered boxer and earlier that day had been unable to be placed in an foster home b/c she'd done the same thing to the foster's 11-year-old lab! (WHO cannot get along with a lab, particularly an elderly one!). It wasn't a "match". I felt I couldn't guarantee my own safety let alone the safety of others around me with this dog.

Back I went to the first site and here was Rufus, staring out at me still. Something in me snapped (in a good way) and I just had to have him. Because I'm known to the agency, I didn't have to go through the usual rigmarole of qualifying .... I practically begged the head of the agency to NOT let Rufus get adopted the following Saturday at an adoption event. Rufus lived in Wisconsin (I'm in MN) so the foster mom and I arranged a time to meet and I could take Rufus home. Big surprise! He's part Newfie (says my vet) and could knock off a few pounds at 102#!! He has the hugest ears and paws I've even seen. Even though he has some pretty meaningful neurological problems (giving him shaky legs), I knew he was the one for me. A boy dog is SO different from a girl dog and it's taken me some getting attuned to ... but I know we're meant to be together. Rufus is psychic about one and only one thing: when I'm crying at the computer (usually when I'm on Lightning Strike) he'll awaken even out of a sound sleep and come lumbering over and stick his (rather large) nose between me and the table and do the snuffing-and-snorting routine. If I don't give up, he gives one or two big, deep barks - not exactly welcomed in an urban fourplex!

I know the decision to get another dog will be a family decision for you and I know you'll make the absolute right one. Whatever you do WILL be the right path to take. Cinder is constantly present in, among others, the form of black butterflies. (I didn't even know there WAS such a thing - it's definitely Ms. Cinderella hovering about - same as she did when she was in this mortal world. As my vet (the ultimate man of science) said about Gretta, "She's in a safe place now." Those words, coming from that person, blew me away and continue to do so. Cinder, too, is in a safe place now - waiting, playing, wondering, guiding you on the right paths and ,most importantly, loving you and being loved by you. Love is forever - in both directions. You WILL be reunited. This I KNOW!

In peace and love,

Gretta's mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rae, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Rae, whichever way you look at it - - if you adopt a shelter dog or a "blue blood" - - you are "rescuing" them by giving whichever touches your heart to embrace them as a lifetime companion. So, as Gretta's mom said, follow your heart - - you can't go wrong doing that - - and this is precisely what your beloved Cinder would want you to do.

I'm glad you have received the scrapbook to begin your loving memorial for Cinder. I think once you begin it you will find a peace come into your heart - - hopefully, - - as I found when I worked on scrapbooks and video slideshows for my beloved furkids who are now with the angels. There is no "rule" as to which pictures you choose - - choose them ALL if you want to - - make that scrapbook as big as you want to - - whichever way your heart leads you to make it. And, as you feel a peace come into your heart, I am hoping you will also be able to know that Cinder is saying, "it's okay, mom - - you have so much love to give - - go ahead and enjoy the company of new companion. I'm always with you, I always love you - - and equally important I know you always and forever love me."

Rae, I hope you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Cinder's sweet Living Spirit to comfort and cheer you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and am looking forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam