New Here...and Very Heart-broken, My Abby Options

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Caroline, your posting brought so many tears to my eyes. You DO NOT have to give away, throw away, donate or in any other way EVER have to remove your Abby's things. I know I will NEVER, EVER part with anything that was Gretta's. When I pass over the rainbow bridge and people still back on this side have to clean out my things, they are going to be in for a real shock. I'll be the nutty but harmless eccentric about whom people will think "Guess she was worse off than we thought." Go right ahead. I'm keeping her two snowsuits that I velcroed together and made into a cuddly pillow the first night I was alone. I'm keeping the basket of toys that she never even touched (she was a senior dog when I got her - WAY past playtime!). I'm keeping her raincoat and her leashes and her collar ... no matter what. I still have her little shrine on my window seat - and I still pet her picture and tell her how much I miss her! Even if it's just you and me (which it's definitely NOT), let's not break our hearts again by thinking we HAVE to do something just because we think (or people tell us) that we have to or we "should be over it by now" or "move on" or some other total piece of nonsense. We are loved ... we love ... our one-and-only searched for us through the entire universe and found us and put him/herself in our paths and when we looked at each other the strongest bond possible formed instantly. We exchanged little pieces of our hearts, which will be with us forever. Love is forever - our love for them and even more, their love for us. When we're two halves of a single whole how can it be otherwise? Please don't add to your sadness by taking on opinions that people who've never experienced the miracle we have try to put into your mind. Any time or no time ... it's up to you. As for me, I'm going to spend my last night on earth sleeping on Gretta' dog bed - no matter what nursing home I'm in.

I hope my attempt at humor has strengthened your spirit just a tiny bit. Have a restful night and a good tomorrow.

Gretta's mom

[Abby's Mom]

Thanks a lot guys. And trust me I will NEVER part with her toys, her little doggie bed, leash, collar, bowl, etc. And no other pet in heaven or on earth will ever use those things because they belonged to my Abby. Like you Gretta's Mom, they will have to pry Abby's collar and probably her urn and picture from my hands when I cross over.

I do have quite a bit of food and some frontline that I'm sure could benefit other animals. But ya know, to everyone's point, I don't HAVE to do that if I don't want to. Sometimes, I open up her drawer and just seeing all the food and stuff in there makes me feel like she's still here and as strange as it may sound, I am comforted by that little lie that I allow myself to believe for just a minute.

Your words move me and I remain so very thankful for all of you on this site.

Well, I'm off to light my Abby's red love candle...the sun is going down here, so it's time for me to say hello to her and let her know that I love her.

Abby's Mom

[Abby's Mom]

Today I finally decided to dismantle Abby's shrine. I haven't been compelled to light the red love candles in a couple of weeks. I don't even find myself talking to her urn everyday as I once did. Oh, I still talk to it...to her...but definitely not everyday.

So, this afternoon I retrieved Abby's bag from the hall closet. We always packed her bag when we went on car trips and we'd have her leash, food, snacks and toys in it. As I picked it up all I could think was that I was packing Abby's bag for the last time and I broke down in sobs as I did it.

Now her urn and paw prints reside on my mantle. The urn has her picture on the front so it's like she's always here with me while I'm hanging out in the living room, just as she always was during her earthly journey.

I know that my new baby, Bailey, gave me the strength to do this today. Had I not found that little bundle of sweetness, who knows how long I would have paid homage to Abby's shrine and I would have remained in the deep grief stage inevitably. And for that I am grateful but I have to tell you, what I did today was HARD. I felt like I was putting Abby away and I've had to really convice myself that it was only her things that I put away today. She will always be with me, no matter where I go.

Oh how I can't wait to see that sweet baby again. I miss her so very much and yes it still hurts like the devil.

Abby Doodle, mama loves you to the moon and back and always will. Rest in peace my precious, beautiful little girl.

Abby's and now Bailey's mom

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Abbey's mom.

What a brave and SAD thing to do! Gretta passed on April 10 and I still have her two pictures and the angel candle my sister sent me on the radiator mantle. It'll be there until I move, I'm sure. Rufus the big loving lug helps a lot, especially since I've started to call him Gretta's little brother.

I know what you mean about getting stuck in deep grief forever. Today I decided to quit making up Gretta-words to Woody Guthrie's Hobo's Lullaby - because the new verses were TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAD. Maybe it's a gentle nudge from Abbey and Gretta that it's OK to move a little bit, that they KNOW, really KNOW that we're not stopping loving them, just doing the silly work we do here on earth.

I just know that Gretta and Abbey are the best of Perfect World friends and in between romping around and playing, the sit an look down on us and, even though they love us more than ever before and can definitely read our minds, I'm sure that once in a while they get a chuckle out of us.

Thank you for sharing this moment with us, Abbey's mom. Abbey-doodle loves you to Mars and back, too. Labs like Gretta aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer, so Gretta is probably just content to assure me that nothing has changed and that, of course love is forever.

have a good evening and tomorrow,

Gretta's mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Abby's Mom, yes - - the putting away of things is another "stage" in the "adjustment" journey. BUT - - the very important thing is that you did it when YOU were ready, and this is a good sign of progressing in the grief healing. Rest assured that your precious Abby is FOREVER with you in your heart and your memories, and her greatest joy as she looks on you from heaven's heights is seeing YOU HAPPY. To help you with this she gently guided you and little Bailey together knowing that only YOU could be the RIGHT earthly caregiver for this little homeless waif.

Abby's Mom, I hope today is being kind to you. Please know you and your little Bailey are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Abby's Mom]

Today is 2 months since I lost my precious Abby Doodle. She has been in my thoughts constantly today and I can't seem to stop looking at the wallpaper photo of her on my phone, among all the other photos I have of her. I talked to my mom about her tonight and was fighting back tears remembering old times and how July 4th was HER holiday. She LOVED fireworks and thought they were big, loud toys. I really had to watch her this time of year. She'd take off in the general direction of any kaboom she heard-

On Friday night I went to my city's big fireworks extravaganza and had a great spot in which to view the display. There were a couple of times where I could have sworn the smoke faded into a little doggie form telling me that my sweet girl was with the angels, enjoying her beloved fireworks from on high (I know that I allowed my imagination to run a little wild but it gave me some small comfort).

My new baby, Bailey, has been a tremendous source of comfort and is helping me get through or get on with my earthly journey without Abby but today is especially difficult.

Just wanted to share and to say once again, I love you my sweet, sweet girl. Abby Doodle, mama loves you to the moon and back and always will. I miss you baby and I hope you are at peace. Mama is doing her best to exist on this earth without you but it's really, really hard. I long for the day when we are together again. I'm sure we'll have lots to catch up on- Rest well my girl. I will remember you always.

Mom

[leejaye]

Dear Abby's Mom, Just to say I am thinking of you and Abby and Bailey today, Purszi has really helped pull me out of that deep grief hole and I fall in love a bit more every day, but i will miss my girl forever (like you, her photo is the wallpaper on my phone and I can't bring myself to change it, even if it makes me cry sometimes) - take care today guys, hope life is gentle with you

[moon_beam]

Dear Abby's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Bailey are doing. The holidays are one of the many reminders that bring home the painful reality that our beloved companions are no longer physically with us. This is why we must hold fast onto our memories and the truth: The truth being that our beloved companions are still and are forever with us in our hearts and memories - - they are always a heartbeat close to us. AND - - they are sharing our earthly journey in "real time" now - - not having to wait for us to come home from work, or school, or errands, or vacations - - or wherever we've been - - to share with them the events of our day. And it doesn't surprise me one little bit that you probably did see your sweet Abby's form in the fireworks - - for our beloved companions do find a way to let us know that they are still and forever with us. So, hold onto that precious vision you had on Friday night during the fireworks display, Abby's Mom - - and let it bring comfort to your heart.

Abby's Mom, thank you again so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you and your precious Bailey are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how things are going for you both.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam