How Do You Know When It's Time? Options

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, I feel your spirit S O A R I N G as you share with us Trevor's GOOD DAY yesterday. I hope and pray that he has a repeat performance today.

Yes, the cooler weather will be better for his breathing - - it was the same way for my Oslo. Just do whatever you need to do to keep your precious boy comfortable, content, and happy. Each moment with him is a treasure for the both of you - - and I am so honored that you are sharing this time with us as well.

Please know you and your precious Trevor are in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

I think we are on a roll....................Trevor went on an even longer walk tonight! It was a perfect day, the temps were cool, no humidity and a slight breeze. Once he got oriented to where he was, Trevor just took off and started walking. I finally had to steer him back home.

He's sleeping on his blanket and it's time for me to join him!

Bless everyone, Jeanne, Peggy, Moon Beam, Scott and Tucker!

XOXOxo
Bobbie

[janika]

Thats great Bobbie. So happy that you and Trevor are sharing 'good' times. Thanks for letting us know. Enjoy a lovely cuddle nap now.

Hugs Jan and my Angles and Pixie x

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, just want to add my elation with Jan's as to your wonderful news about your and Trevor's day yesterday. I am so o o o glad that Trevor is more comfortable and is enjoying blessed quality time with you. Thank you so much for sharing your days together with us, Bobbie.

I hope today will be kind to you and your precious Trevor. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and will look forward to sharing how your day went whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

I said to Trevor this evening, as Stan and I were cleaning the 6 pee puddles on and off the pads and on the living room carpet and the 1 pile of poo in the kitchen, that I am one of the luckiest people around. I have Trevor and Stan here at home and I have the most incredible goup of people on this site! It's true! Every one of you, you listening Moon Beam, Peggy, Janika, et al?? My "problems" seem so small when compared to the devastating losses suffered by all of you and yet, to a last person, you are so interested in Trevor and my days. This a true blessing and is sustaining me like no other.

We were gone most of the day and my best friend, Barb, came over and gave Trevor his pills and treats as needed (God bless her) so by the time we got home, Trevor was running out of places to...................................

Just heard about Bin Laden. finally

Trevor wants me to sleep on the floor with him tonight, so I'm taking Tylenol right away.

Thank you, again, all my new friends who mean the world to me!

Good Night!
Bobbie

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, bless your heart. So many people would not be as patient as you are with your precious Trevor. Much of what you are going through I also shared with my Oslo, so I truly do understand. Your Trevor is blessed having you and Stan for his mom and dad - - knowing that he is loved - - deeply, richly, eternally - - loved. There is no greater love we can know on this side of eternity, and I thank you so o o much for sharing with us your and Trevor's precious love.

I hope you and Trevor had a peaceful slumber last night, and that you are having a good day today. May you know you and your precious Trevor are in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you both whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

Hi Moon Beam!

Thank you for your message! It was so encouraging. Yes, I love my sweet boy with all my heart and there is nothing I won't do for him (unless I run out of money). In the two short years that we've had him, I've grown to adore and admire him just as I have all my boys before him. He has been so good to and for me. I just wish there was more I could do to ease his pain, esp. on the bad days.

And one of them happened today. Trevor refused to come down the stairs until 11:30 this morning, even with treats on every step. Then every time I thought he was snd asleep and tried to come upstairs to do some computer work, he'd wake up and didn't know where I was. I feel badly when that happens because he has had so little security most of his life and he really likes to have mom around. This evening was particularly perplexing. We'd gone to a Little League ball game for a couple hours and got home around 8 pm. Trevor had peed everywhere and acted so frantically hungry, even though I had already fed him before we left. Then the panting started up again and by the time we got upstairs at 10 pm I was getting concerned. It took Trevor almost 45 minutes to settle down enough to lie down, but the panting continued. Finally Trevor put his head down to sleep, but his breathing remains heavy and fast. I'll be sleeping on the floor by him again tonight. I just HATE it when Trevor is uncomfortable or in pain. And I don't know where the panting is coming from this time. I'm going to start weaning the Prednisone again and give him pain medication whenever he wants it. Darn! I don't like these kind of days and nights and I know more are definitely coming. Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day.

I am going to learn all about your Oslo asap. Have a good and restful night's sleep.

XOXOxo
Bobbie

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, thank you so much for letting us know how you and your precious Trevor are doing. I am so sorry that Trevor had a bad day yesterday. When I would snuggle with my Oslo and Abbygayle as their journey to the angels grew closer I would softly tell them that it was okay - - that they are going to a beautiful place - - they are going back home to the heart of our Heavenly Father Creator. I also told them that even though I cannot join them right now that they will always be in my heart and memories. They do understand what we say to them, and I think it helps to reassure them that we will be okay - - eventually - -. This is a "transition" time for the both of you, and Trevor just wants to be as close to you for as long as he physically can be, because right now he is still in his physical body and needs your physical loving touch and the soothing sound of your voice to comfort him. It is totally obvious that you love your precious Trevor with all your heart, my friend, and that you are doing everything in your power to make sure he is comfortable and content during his transition journey to the angels. I am hoping and praying that today is being kind to you both, and that you will have a peaceful evening together.

Bobbie, please know you and your precious Trevor are frequently in my thoughts and prayers every day, and look forward to knowing how you both are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Peggy's Human]

Hi Bobbie,

I hope you are doing well and that Trevor is doing better than he was earlier in the week. Just wanted to pop by and let you know I was thinking of all of you. You all remain in my thoughts and prayers and I thank you for all your support during the 8 week anniversary of Peggy's passing.

Take care,

Peggy

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, like Peggy I'm just stopping by to say hello and to let you know that you and your precious Trevor are in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully you both are stretched out in front of the TV watching the Derby doin's today, and you both have made your pick on the ponies you'd like to cross the finish line.

Bobbie, I look forward to knowing how you and your precious Trevor are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

Dear Peggy, Moon Beam and all Lightning-strikers,

I haven't been on the site for several days as my sister-in-law became critically ill and is still hospitalized. it will be a very long, slow recovery for her, but at least she's alive!

I'm weaning Trevor off his Prednisone for the last time. He's down to 2mg in morning and 1mg at night. And now the terrible pain is coming back. I'm giving him Tramadol & Neurontin whenever he needs it and that seems to help. I'm afreaid we'll soon be up to 2 Tramadol & 2 Neurontin every 2 hours and I don't know if my vet will continue to phone in prescriptions for me. I hope he will. I think he will.

I felt so badly leaving Trevor on Saturday to go to the hospital for Beverly's surgery, but I knew I had to be with her and my Stan. She had her entire colon removed to stop this deadly infection that was killing her. I had one neighbor giving Trevor meds eveery 3 hours and this wonderful woman changed her whole Saturday routine to care for Trevor.

Tonight was difficult because when Trevor was showing me his pain I was talking to a friend on the phone. I immediately excused myself and she actually got quite "huffy" about it. Well, if that's the way she's going to be.....it's her loss.

Even my great-nephew (is that possible?) asks me about Trevor, first thing when he sees me.

These days are so hard. I want to spend absolutly every minute with Trevor. I don't want him to be alone at all. I want him to know I am always there for him. But then, tomorrow, I have to drive an hour away to deliver some groceries and drive an hour back. Already, I don't see my granddaugher any more, we can't go to a grand-nephew's HS graduation in New York and all I feel is a compelling pull to get back to Trevor. Is this normal or am I a bit bizzare?

Thank you, all, for being here for me and my worries. I'm going to sleep on the floor with Trevor again. It's a good place to be.

Good Night!
Bobbie

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, thank you so much for letting us know how you and your precious Trevor are doing. And I hope your sister-in-law is well on the road to recovery.

Please know that your desire to constantly be with your precious Trevor is not abnormal or obsessive. Your precious Trevor needs you - - both physically and emotionally. He cannot administer his meds by himself - - he needs YOU to give him his meds, and to help him with his physical needs. And he needs your comforting presence to reassure him and comfort him. He knows his physical journey with you is coming to an end, and his heart's desire is to spend as much time as possible with you until his precious Living Spirit soars heavenward to the angels. Anyone who doesn't understand this is incapable of understanding - - and embracing - - the deepest truest purest form of love we can know on this side of eternity. So, Bobbie, for whatever it's worth, my advice to you is to follow your heart and do what you know you must do. I promise you, my friend - - this will be a comfort to you later on.

And once again, for whatever it's worth, I went through the same thing with my Eli, Oslo, and Abbygayle, - - and each of my other beloved companions who were on their journey home to the angels.

Bear in mind that Tramadol and Nerontin are controlled substances. I used to work for the Drug Enforcement Administration, and I know that there are just so many refills allowed per prescription - - but as long as your vet continues authorizing refills I don't there should be any problems with the pharmacy. Both your vet and the pharmacy has to make an accounting to the DEA about the controlled substances prescribed and dispensed, but again, as long as your vet continues to provide prescriptions and authorized refills there shouldn't be a problem.

Bobbie, I hope in some way I have been able to bring some comfort and encouragement to you. My heart goes out to you and your precious Trevor. Please know you and your precious Trevor are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

Thank you sooooo much, MoonBeam!

Although your loving and comforting words brought tears to my eyes, they also give me the strength to walk a little further on this sacred journey with Mr. Trevor. Tomorrow (Friday) I am staying home all day with Trevor, going out only for the mail. Thank you for giving me the encouragement to do just that.

I will let you know how the day was.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

Bobbie

[Peggy's Human]

Dearest Bobbie,

I am so sorry life is just pulling you in so many directions and please know your sister-in-law is in my (and Mom's) prayers. I didn't think you'd be back until Friday so I apologize for not making time to send you a message with some much needed support. You know I love you and Trevor (and Stan) and you guys are always in our prayers.

As for your huffy 'friend'. PHHHFFFTTTT to her. She's clueless and self-absorbed (oh yeah, I'll be judgemental about that!). Even if she's clueless about animals, if she's really your friend, she should CARE that you're in distress over Trevor's health. I doubt she had anything more important than Trevor's pain to flippin discuss at that point so tough tidbits to her if she has an issue with you for hanging up. Actually, my sweet friend, I can't imagine why anyone would have an issue with you. You're one of the most loving, compassionate, giving people I've ever known. Between us (and all the others on this site), you can 'do better than her'. LOL Seriously, I can see that you're her friend but I question if she's really your friend?? Okay, enough of my Irish getting up!

As always, you, Trevor, Stan (Gretta, Gretta's Mom, and your sister in law and her family) are all in my thoughts and prayers. I hope Trevor has a peacful night and you're able to get some much needed sleep.

Take care my wonderful friend!

Peggy

P.S. Your fantastic neighbors are also in my prayers - God love them all for stepping up to help out you and Trevor!!

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, just stopping by to say "hello" to you and your precious Trevor. I hope today has been kind to you both. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you both are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

[font="Verdana"][/font]Well, Trevor had a really bad day. And I don't think they are going to get much better any more. Oh, how I hope I am wrong!

Trevor is on Day 3 of 2mg Prednisone in the morning and 1mg at night. I can tell that the higher dose was controlling more of his pain, but the side effects were just as awful. Either way Trevor loses. He slept all morning and most of the afternoon, but it wasn't his usual deep, peaceful sleep. He looked so stiff and uncomfortable in his sleep. When he finally stayed up late this afternoon, he was in so much pain that I ended up giving him 2 Tramadol & 2 Neurontin every TWO hours. He just could not get comfortable and was panting up a storm. I took him outside for some cool, fresh air around 7 pm and he seemed to like smelling the air and the grass and the trees, but he definitely needed my white size 11 New Balance shoes directing his moves from the only side he can see from (his right side). Any time the shoes weren't in plain view he was lost. But we got about 20 minutes outside before it was ime to come in. At 9 pm I gave him another dose of meds and by 10 pm he was shaking his head which means he's hurting. I'd forgotten what time I'd given his last meds and was shocked to see it was just an hour earlier. I gave him 1 Tramadol & 1 Neurontin. We came up to bed a few minutes later. It took 2 small cotainers of Honey Nut Cheerio's, tonight, to fill his tummy so he could relax and finally fall asleep. I'll give him one more Tramadol soon and then a dose of everything at 1am to try and get him back on schedule.

Trevor doesn't deserve to hurt........ever. And I'm afraid that soon his whole life will be one of tough pain. At least right now Trevor still enjoys time with me and Stan in the evenings, as long as his pain is controlled. I am his protector, his guardian and his best friend, in addition to being his mom. His 2 year anniversary of becoming a LaSov will be May 23th. That seems so far away right now.

I'm tired. I'm sad. I hurt. And I'm beginning to feel like I'm failing Trevor. I will to any and everything compassionately possible for this boy. He is the most precious of little guys and I don't think he ever had a good life.

I need some (more) support tonight and I am turning to the best group of people there are to do that. Sorry I'm so weak, but I'm using everything I have for my boy.

Bless all of you! Good Night.
Bobbie

[Peggy's Human]

Dear Bobbie,

I am so sorry that Trevor isn't doing well. I know how hard you've been working to keep on top of his pain and how frightened and disappointed you must be right now. I'm hoping that when you give him his doses at 1 am, he gets back on scheudle and back on track. Please realize that you are absolutely NOT failing Trevor or anyone in your life. Those feelings are coming about because you're exhausted from running around, trying to help those you love who are in need - and there is an overwhelming numer of them in need right now. Nobody could keep up with the scheudle you've been keeping the past week or two without becoming exhausted. It's so hard to see clearly when we've been under protracted stress and when we haven't been getting enough rest. It's been a long time since you've been able to get a full night sleep so the additional stress of the family illness is just pushing that level of exhaustion to a deeper level and that's what is making you question how well you're doing meeting Trevor's needs. All of us who have been following your story know how much you love and how much you do for Trevor. Frankly, it's not possible for you to fail him. You consistently put Trevor's needs ahead of your own, how could you fail him by doing that? I think you may be judging youself by an impossible standard of perfection. If you think you're failing him, please ask yourself what anyone could possibly do that's greater than what you do every day? If it were possible to instantly heal him, you would. But nobody in this world has that power, please don't blame yourself for not having an ability that none of us has. I promise you, if you view it objectively, you'll realize that you're doing all that can be done and nobody would have the ability to do more. You're just sleep and rest deprived, you poor little thing. No wonder you feel sad and overwhelmed (and big hug to you)

Bobbie, if at all possible, please try to get a little rest, sleep and time for yourself this weekend. You are an amazing caregiver but sometimes the caregivers must draw a line in the sand and decide it's time to give care to themselves. I think you've reached the point where you need a little down time to decompress and definitely some time to get uninterupted sleep. You are an amazing person who is always giving to others, including Trevor. Once you've had a chance to recharge, I think you'll be better able to wrap some perspecitive around the situation without judging yourself so harshly. Truly, there is nothing that you don't do for Trevor and you do more than the majority of people would. And you do it all with love. Please treat yourself with that same love and compassion. You are a wonderful Mom to Trevor. You are an amazing family member who's always there for everyone in need - and like now, sometimes they all need at once. Please try to let go of the guilt and the judging of yourself, at least until you've gotten through this rough patch and have a chance to catch your breath. I'm betting that once you get a little down time and distance, you'll realize that you're already doing everything possible for Trevor and what you feel guilty about is you can't magically create a new treatment plan for him, to make all the ill health go away.

And for the record, Trevor may not have ever had a good day BEFORE becoming a member of your family, but no dog could be more loved than he is now. So he HAS gotten the best. With dogs, they're so much better than humans at letting go of the past hurts and just focusing on the ever present now. No matter what, from 2009 on, he's been one of the most loved and cared for dogs in the world. Doesn't matter what came before that, he has a loving family who does everything in ther power to help him and make sure he knows he's loved. Who in this world can ask for more than that? Many humans never experience that kind of blessing and I'm sure Trevor knows that you'll always be there for him, which is why he requires the comfort of your 'size 11 shoes'!

You all are always in my prayers and right now, I"m praying you all get a good night sleep and start fresh in the morning, with Trevor being back on track with his meds. Good night my sweet friend, who is always much too hard on herself!!

Big hug to you and Trevor!

Love

Peggy

[janika]

Dear Bobbie

I echo everything that Peggy has written, and I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and Stan and your beloved Trevor and sending great big HUGs to you all.


Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Bob,
How could I know you were hurting so much inside? It is so sad and crushing to have to stand by someone you love who's in pain and not be able to do anything about it. I echo everything Peggy said (isn't she great!). Who on earth can have loved a dog and done so much for him than you have loved Trevor? Peggy's right. Before he became a LaSov, he probably never had even an average day in his poor life. Yeah, gotta draw the line on some of these folks who, rightly or wrongly, demand something of you. Everybody only takes a little piece but put them all together and pretty soon there's only a tiny, ragged you. Tell you-know-who to take a vacation in Gehenna. And spend all your time petting Trevor (unless he gets annoyed and walks away :).

I know my Gretta was in pain and just didn't show it. She was in so much pain that she died of it and still she tried to put on a brave face. She must have been comforted by my petting and affection, even though I couldn't save her life. It was her time and she went on to heaven. Please take all my strength and make it yours. I've got some to give right now. And know, KNOW, that very best medicine Trevor has is your love and your pats on the head. Your heart must be in shreds and if all your Lightning Strike friends - including me - could each take a little on themselves, we surely will.

Like Peggy says, you are NOT failing your Trevor. You are doing and giving everything, EVERYTHING, humanly possible to keep Trevor comforted in both body and soul. And he KNOWS that. That's why we love dogs so much - they know us through and through and still love us! And they know that, even though they're hurting, a love ray is coming through and they're NOT alone. There's a warm, soft love ray coming through - your wonder-love for them. Trust me, Bob, I would do ANYTHING for you and for Trevor - you know that. All your Lightning Strike friends are propping up your heart and Trevor's heart. I know we can't work miracles, but we CAN give you back a small portion of the love you are giving beautiful Trevor. You work miracles, sis.

XOXO Gretta's mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Bobbie, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Trevor and you are doing. I can only echo Peggy's and Gretta's wise words to you, so please read them often and take comfort in them. To emphasize what they said, you are NOT failing Trevor - - so please try to take comfort in knowing that you are doing EVERYTHING possible to give your precious Trevor a comfortable journey home to the angels. And please know that, even if you are faced in having to make "the decision" on his behalf - - you are giving him the most precious gift of love - - at great sacrifice to you - - so that he can be healed and restored to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels. Unfortunately the physical body can continue to "exist" well beyond any semblence of "quality of life" - - and I do so understand how you're struggling of knowing if / when the need for making "the decision" for your precious Trevor is quickly approaching.

I truly wish I could be there with you, Bobbie, to help you and your precious Trevor - - to give you a "respite" so that you can have the rest your body and mind and spirit so desperately need. Although I cannot be with you physically please know I am with you in spirit, my friend. Hopefully sometime today you and Trevor can curl up together and take a long, peaceful nap together.

Bobbie, please know you and your precious Trevor are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your precious Trevor are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam