My Precious Baby Girl Options

[Cheryl83]

Hi Rainbohdi,

There are many different beliefs about where our babies go after they physically leave us. I personally think that something as wonderful and pure, as a precious animals soul, can only go to a very special place. A place where they are safe, and happy, and free. A place where the cruelties of this earthly world cannot touch them. A place where they know no fear or pain --- only happiness, and joy, and love. The dog that attacked your baby will have a place of his own --- but it will not be with your darling Bohdi; so please do not worry.

When I think of my Daisy, I like to think of her in a place full of rainbows and sunshine. I picture her happy and healthy, running free. I believe our babies can visit us anytime they wish -- in the form of love and energy (which knows no boundaries). So when we get a certain "feeling", or a certain memory pops into our head, or a certain warmth consumes our heart -- that's when they've taken time out from "play-time" and have come to say hello. They will always be with us, as we will always be with them -- as they take a part of us with them to their special place.

I hope this has put some comforting images into your mind. All I know is, a soul as gentle and beautiful as your precious Bohdi, will surely be in the company of, and protected by, angels.

Sending you hugs -- Cheryl

[Juturna]

Dear Rainbohdi,

I feel how afraid you are for your precious Bohdi. My belief is that your little Bohdi is being watched over in her new life by her higher power and angels. I believe she is in a place now of great joy and peace, along with my beautiful Victoria, where they can run free and their spirits can dance. This place that I envision is filled with light and our little ones are healthy and happy there. In terms of the dog that killed precious Bohdi, I believe eventually his soul will be annihilated.

Also, there is something else that I wanted to mention. When a being is subjected to an horrific attack oftentimes they do not remember it. This was certainly true with the Central Park jogger who years ago was raped, beaten, and left for dead. She had no recollection of the attack when she awoke from a coma. I believe your precious little Bohdi was protected in the same way.

Hope this is helpful. I'm sending you warm hugs, and wishing you a peaceful evening. I trust that Sunday will be loving and serene.

With healing thoughts and prayers,
Juturna

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rainbohdi, just want to add my reassurance to Cheryl's and Juturna's wonderful responses. Please do not fear about your precious Bohdi's safety. There is very little I can add to Cheryl's and Juturna's wonderful responses for they eloquently express what is in my heart as well. So read them often, Rainbohdi, and take comfort in them.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Rainbohdi, and will look forward to knownig how you're doing and how Sunday's memorial service goes whenever possible. And please let your heart and mind be at peace, for your precious Bohdi is with the angels in heaven's perfect garden.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[rainbohdi]

thankyou, thankyou, thankyou

you helped so much that i can't begin to even express

i will surely be reading these last few posts again many times

[fcbruno]

Hi Rain

I totally feel that Bohdi is completely safe and wagging her tail with no worries whatsoever. She's acting as your guide. Just like in the photo you posted of Bohdi investigating, she is forging a way through the dense foliage of life to create a clear path for you to ensure you can live your life on her behalf with as smooth as journey as possible.

Take care, have a lovely weekend, and I hope Bohdi's memorial service gives you comfort.

Peter

[rainbohdi]

hi everyone

just popping in quickly to let you know the memorial was beautiful. i came home and fell asleep for 7 hours and think i am going to be able to sleep more soon too, which is really great because i've been surviving on so little sleep of late.

i couldn't have asked for anything to go better than it did and on top of all the stuff like the readings and balloon release, the people there just made it so much more precious by spending time after having coffee and cake and talking about bohdi and her antics. i managed to read the just a dog poem with only two little stumbles.

i have more to tell you, so i will come back later after some more sleep. i just couldn't wait to tell you that it was a very special day.

thankyou so much for your ongoing kindness and support
take gentle care

[Cheryl83]

I'm so, so pleased that it went well. You've been in my thoughts. I hope it has managed to bring some peace into your heart; and I just know that your precious Bohdi was with you in spirit the whole time.

I hope you get some more restful sleep.

Take care,
Cheryl xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rainbohdi, thank you so o o much for sharing with us how the memorial service went. I am so o o glad things went so well, and will look forward to sharing more with you as you're up to writing. For now though let your mind be at peace and I hope your rest is peaceful. Pleasant dreams, dear Rainbohdi. Your precious Bohdi is always keeping a loving vigil over you, and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, too.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Juturna]

Dear Rainbohdi,

So glad to learn that the memorial service for your precious Bohdi went beautifully and you were able to get through your reading. And now sleep for you is possible. Your precious Bohdi's spirit was by your side with her angels on your shoulder.

With peace, prayers, and hugs,
Juturna

[JoanneL]

I also wanted to let you know how glad I am that the memorial service was what you had anticipated. Sounds like it was lovely. Hoping you will be able to sleep peacefully now. I think what you did was a wonderful tribute to you furchild.

[rainbohdi]

i haven't been able to say any words for a while now, it's like they all just got zapped out of my head whenever i went to talk. since i woke up from that sleep really, just so empty and lost. the day she was killed we talked about the memorial and every minute after i think i used the planning of it and thinking of it to almost fool myself into thinking my baby was not really gone. now i don't know what comes next, i don't know how to be anyone or anything without her. i just don't. i should be glad the memorial was so beautiful, it also just made me feel how final it all is. she's gone, forever and ever. my sweet precious baby girl who taught me all about love, the good and pure kind. it's too sad even for crying, you can't cry when the sadness is so heavy that it makes you not know how it is you are even still breathing. this probably makes no sense, but it's where i've been and where i am as best as i know how to say. it's ok if noone says anything back, i just needed that to be somewhere else outside of this place i'm in.

[Cheryl83]

Hi rainbohdi,

What you're saying actually makes PERFECT sense. As I was reading your post I was nodding my head -- because that's exactly how I felt when I was at your 'stage' of the grieving process. I remember going through all the same emotions -- wondering how I could ever feel happiness again, struggling to find out who I was without having my Daisy to love and care for. I remember feeling like nothing had any meaning anymore, and that all the things I used to enjoy meant nothing to me. For the first couple of months, you're kind of just going through the motions of life, but not really living. There seems to be a dark cloud that follows you everywhere. In time, this dark cloud will slowly start to lift. You will start to get glimpses of sunshine, though every now and again it will return. In time, you will start to feel that your baby has never really left you, because she is still etched so strongly in your heart and memories and being, that it feels like a part of her is still with you. Unfortunately, you can't rush through all this. You just have to take it each day at a time and try to ride with it.

We are all here for you, every step of the way. Offering you a cyber shoulder to lean on when the dark cloud is all-consuming, and sharing your joy when you see a glimpse of sunshine.

Take care of yourself and please continue to let us know how you're getting on whenever you have the strength.

Big hugs -- Cheryl xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rainbohdi, just adding my support to what Cheryl has so beautifully written in her response to you. This grief journey is a very painful one. It is a process of re-defining who we are now that our beloved companions are with the angels. It is an adjustment journey to defining the "new normal" - - a very painful process both emotionally and physically - - which is one of many reasons why this grief journey truly is a one day at a time journey - - sometimes a one moment at a time journey.

And as Cheryl has so comfortingly assured you, so I wish to echo her wisdom: each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. We are here with you, for you, beside you every step of this journey, and hoping you will feel both our individual and collective support, encouragement, and comfort bringing hope to you at all times and in all circumstances of your adjustment journey.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Rainbohdi, and please do let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Juturna]

Dear Rainbohdi,

Your writing made sense. Cheryl and Moon_beam have so eloquently expressed their support and understanding. When our love and reason to be is connected so closely with another being, we feel completely lost without them. It is through this darkness that we struggle to re-define ourselves.

The post traumatic stress can make it difficult to even cry. There are animal companion grief counselors who do phone sessions as do some of the veterinary schools for little or no cost.

I'm glad you took the time and had the energy to write to us again and trust that you will continue to let us know how you are doing. Please know that you are not alone in this grief journey. I hope you will be gentle with yourself.

With peace, and healing thoughts and prayers,
Juturna

[rainbohdi]

thankyou cheryl, moon_beam and juturna for understanding and for giving of yourselves, though i sure do wish that none of you ever did have to suffer like this.

every time i close my eyes i see the dog ripping my baby apart, i see her tiny ravaged body where she lay when the attack was over, i see my entire body covered in her blood and more from holding her even held together by towels. i hear myself screaming so loud. i guide my mind away from that to one of the endless beautiful memories of her, but it just goes right back to the gruesome memories and plays them over and over. it's 3am sunday morning here now, less than five hours away from exactly 8 weeks since she died so horrifically.

on monday i'm going to ring the vet hospital that i took her body to and ask about getting some help dealing with this.

take gentle care
rb

~*~*~*~*~

my precious little poppet

i'm so so so sorry. i know you wouldn't blame me, but it was my job to keep you safe and i couldn't and for that i'm so sorry. you didn't deserve to go in such a brutal way.

i miss you so very badly, i just hope that you are safe and happy wherever you are now. you were my angel here on earth and now you are my angel up there.

big cuddles and smooshes and a long tummy rub.
love forever and always from mummy xoxox

~*~*~*~*~

[moon_beam]

Hi, Rainbhodi, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. I do understand how traumatized you are from what happened to your precious Bohdi. I hope your vet is able to give you some recommendations and referrals that can help you. When a traumatic event has happened it does take time for the pain in the memory to ease, and sometimes this requires some form of therapeutic assistance.

Rainbohdi, our beloved companions know that we can only do the best we can. Your precious Bohdi knows that you had no idea what would happen that morning as you took your walk together. She knows you love her with all your heart and would gladly have taken on the attack yourself to spare her any harm. I know she truly does want your heart to be at peace so that you can focus on the many years of wonderful memories you share of her earthly journey with you, and I hope and pray with all my heart this will happen for you. I also know this will take time, Rainbohdi, and each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step you take in your journey.

The anniversaries are hard, Rainbohdi, for they are intense reminders that our beloved companions are no longer physically with us, as well as reminders of the events of how our companions joined the angels. I wish there was a way I could erase your pain and bring peace to your heart, but unfortunately I do not have that power. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship, support, and encouragement hoping that it can bring some hope and comfort to you.

Rainbohdi, I hope today is being kind to you, that you are surrounded by your precious Bohdi's sweet Living Spirit filling your heart with joy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Rainbohdi, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon-beam

[Juturna]

Dear Rainbohdi,

I loved your note to your precious little poppet. It is soooo full of love. I believe your precious girl has forgiven you and wants you to forgive yourself. As Moon-beam so eloquently stated, she wants you to be at peace.

I'm so glad that you will be asking the vet for a referral. Hopefully he/she can be helpful in guiding you to someone. This is a courageous step and something I believe your precious Bohdi would want for you.

Anniversaries are very difficult. Please know that my heart aches for you, and I share your pain. (Today is the one month anniversary of my beautiful Victoria's passing.)

Hope you are able to sleep tonight.
With peace, hugs, and healing thoughts,
Juturna

[JoanneL]

My dear Rainbhodi,

I cannot imagine what it was like for you that morning that a tragedy took your baby from you. No one else can walk in your shoes and know the horror of what you experienced. I can only hope for you that with time those memories will fade and happier ones will take their place. No life should end the way your precious babies did. I do hope the dog that attacked her will never hurt anyone else. I don't remember if you said the dog was euthanized.

I had spoken with my vet after Zoe was killed but she did not know anyone in our area that I could see for counseling. I have found a support group but it is too far for me to drive at night. I am just grateful to all of you. I hope you have found some comfort from this cyber support group, too. I am glad that you were able to post about how you are feeling on the 2 month anniversary. I hope things will begin to get easier for you soon.

Joanne

[rainbohdi]

the ranger called me back today and i was on the phone to him for ages. he has still not been able to speak directly to the dog's owner, who is apparently doing all he can to evade the ranger by going into hiding. the owner of the property the dog escaped from has apparently been actively trying to help find him (it is his daughter's boyfriend's dog). after they found out about the attack, they said the dog's owner had told them that the dog had been moved to a rural property, which the ranger said is not an adequate solution, even if it was true. more recently he has claimed that the dog was taken to the pound in a different suburb and euthanized there. the ranger does not believe this to be true either, he said that the dog owner would have no reason to be making himself unable to be found if it were and also his story isn't making sense. the daughter works away and has been out of contact, but in the next couple of days will be home and the ranger is hopeful that she will lead him to the dog's owner and also the truth about where the dog is.

whilst speaking with me today, the ranger said that he had discovered that the owner had been using the dog in illegal hunting trips. i find this really very disturbing, though not surprising at all. it does make me want to ensure that all is done to ensure that the dog is actually euthanized, purely and simply for the safety of other living beings. i am not angry at the dog, but i do want the owner to have consequences that will make him think about his choices in the future. i wish that he could be prevented from owning another dog or at the very least have to pass certain criteria and have some sort of monitoring if he got another one. that won't happen though.

it is a complicated mess as it stands at the moment. i gather from what i can research that our laws make it very difficult for rangers to do their jobs adequately. it is possible i may never know the true outcome and that the right one might never be reached.




it turned out to be a busy day and i didn't end up getting the chance to make that call yet, but i will.

i took the heart with bohdi's name engraved on it from her collar today and put it on a piece of leather around my neck. it is heart shaped and feels nice to have hanging close to my heart. i had a blood test today and the lady who did it asked me straight out of the blue when bohdi died, i think because she saw it.




dear forum angels
i wrote and rewrote something to each of you, but my words feel so clumsy and wrong and i'm scared that they will end up being hurtful instead of helpful. so instead, please know that i am thinking of each of you and your precious angel furbabies with the very gentlest of care wrapped in super magical rainbow fairydust. during my day time, i am sending you rays from our beautiful summer sunshine to warm your hearts and bodies.


joanne, is there a phone counsellor you could talk to ... it can work quite well for some people, just an idea you may or may not have thought of.

[JoanneL]

Stopping by to see how you are doing today.

I was worried about that dog being able to injure or kill another animal or person. We had a lady here in South Carolina killed on Friday but a neighbors 2 dogs who got out of their yard. She was working in her garden. She knew the dogs but they still attacked and killed her and then turned on their owner and put him in the hospital The police were there and had to shoot the 2 dogs. So sad that animal pets can become so dangerous. You do wonder what kind of enviornment they are living in and if they have been abused.

Today is 6 weeks for us since we lost Zoe. We were very busy this morning so didn't have time to think about it but now back home. I am feeing better emotionally today but back is hurting. Are you sleeping?

I hope that the dog who killed your baby is found and that it may bring you some peace but I know you will still miss Bohdi. There really are no magic words I can say to make you feel better. If there were I would say them to myself but it does help to "talk" with you and the other friends here.
Please take care.
Joanne