My Best Friend And Constant Companion Has Departed Options

[MikeB]

My best buddy, Frank, a dachshund, was with me for 15 1/2 years and died just last Sunday, Halloween. A nearly constant companion, we travelled together, put in many miles together, been through times good and bad together, we were truly "mates". He was with me at home and at work and all who met him cherished him. The condolences, cards, and flowers have been supportive but the hurt is immense and the sense of loss almost overwhelming.
Frank suffered from Cushing's disease for a couple of years but that did not slow him down. His vision deteriorated, but that did not slow him down.
To pay him tribute, I sat alone last evening and put some thoughts on paper to honor him. I will share this with you:

11/6/2010
Dear Frank:
Where ever you may be right now, I hope you are comfortable and not alone. You are not really alone because I am with you in spirit every moment of the day and night. We are still together, as we were for over 15 years.
You know how much I miss you; you know I can never forget what a loyal, understanding, loving, and tolerant friend you were. You were there in the happy times and the sad times, never faltering in your loyalty and love. We had such fun together over the years, seen so many places and things. From the day you were gathered up, a tiny bundle, from a house in Campbell, California when I probably first said, “I love you man” until just 5 days ago, when your little body had to say goodbye, we were hardly ever apart.
I am honored that you chose to be my pet. I am honored that your last breaths were taken upon my shoulders, where you belonged and always wanted to be. And you are forever welcome there. I am so sorry you had to go.
I see and smell reminders of you around the house, your house, my house, Denise’s house, and Jazzy’s house, our house. Denise misses you so very much also. And if you happen to run across Jazzy, tell her we still miss her and love her.
Life has changed down here, with you up there. But my memory of you, though it makes me aware and sad for the loss, is one of joy when it recalls our lives together.
If it is possible, where you are now, think good thoughts of me. I tried my best to give you a wonderful life and I think I did a good job, but believe me, you repaid me so many times over. I was so lucky to have had you in my life.
Many people, those fortunate enough to have met you, and those that only have heard about you, have honored your life by remembering you since you departed. You brought joy to many people, you comforted patients, frightened by the prospect of surgery, and you brought laughter to all with your quirks and antics. Storekeepers, motel managers, veterinarians, neighbors, anyone who came in contact with you, will remember you, Frank, and, though sad at your leaving, will be better and happier for having met you.
Be well and happy in the spiritual world where you now dwell. I ask God to bless you, though I know he will do so without my asking. You are so deserving of those blessings.
Frank; you may trust that I will never forget you. Your spirit awaits me, your mortal remains will always be at my side to remind me of my true best guy friend ever.
And as the first day, it will always be, “I love you Man”!
All my love,
Poppy Michael

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[janika]

Dear MikeB

What a wonderful Tribute to your darling Frank. I am sending you my thoughts and prayers and offer my heartfelt condolences for the sad loss of your precious Frank. He is a beautiful boy and I can see how much he is loved. I would love to hear more about him and maybe see some more photos.
Hugs.
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Michael, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Frank. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart filled tribute to Frank with us, and for sharing a picture of your best buddy. This grief journey is a very hard one, particularly in the beginning deep grief. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation - - and this is one of the many reasons why losing their physical presence is so very painful to adjust to - - both physically and emotionally.

Michael, one of the many important things to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[madi]

What beautiful words, thanks for sharing with us and showing us just how beautiful Frank was. He sounds like he made so many people happy in his time with you and I know how very sad it is to lose such a beautiful best friend. You have my deepest sympathy and please know that so many people here share your grief and feel your pain. Hugs to you Michael xx


madi xx

[JanEeee]

What a dear and beloved companion Frank was, he certainly came into your life giving his all and happy to be part of your family. It is truly heartbreaking to have to say good-bye to such a cherished family member and that ache continues as we remember our good friends and all the joy they brought to our lives.

I've had to say my sad farewells in several years lately, 2008, 2009, and again recently. Each time is full of fresh loss, each little creature has their own unique place in my heart.

I hope you continue to honor your memory of Frank, writing him notes and sharing them here. We are all on that same journey here and our compassionate companionship is what makes our road just a little bit easier.

Jan

[MikeB]

I have appreciated all the support I am receiving, from this panel and from many others. I have had many pets throughout my life, but none as long as Frank. Our relationship has been the longest, most consisitent in my adult life.
He was with me through the joyful, fun filled times, and there by my side during the times of severe loneliness. He was my buddy and my "rock". We travelled many miles together when I was going, often, between California and Montana. I always drove my truck and he spent much of the day on my shoulders, the place he spent his last moments, on the way to the veterinarian. He died on my shoulders, where he belonged.
He came to the office with me every day, and greeted my patients, cheering them as he relaxed them. Now, patients come and look quizzicly, asking "where is Frank"? The answer brings me tears all over again.
As he aged, his spirit stayed young and his support was unwavering. I read how some dachshunds lived up to near 20 years of age, and friends had told me that Frank would likely do the same. But he was my dog, my friend, and though others, well intentioned, tried to give me hope, I knew inside that my cherised companion was fading. But he even tried to hide it from me. Frank was a real trooper to the end.\
As sad as I am, I do not feel sorry for myself. I was blessed with a friendship and a love that cannot be surpassed. I must say that, without my wife's support at this time ( I knew Frank before I met her, but she loved him also) the loneliness would be excruciating.
Thanks agan for listening. I always feel a bit better writing about Frank.
I am including a photo of Frank about a year before his death; he is just sleeping quietly and, like me, showing off all his grey/white hair.

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[moon_beam]

Hi, Mike, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. I smile as I read about your precious Frank's grey and white hair. When my Oslo began showing his age, I would tell people he is showing his wisdom. I often referred to him as "my distinguished gentleman." And what wisdom our beloved companions bring to us through their undivided attention, unwavering devotion, and unconditional love.

Our beloved companions do hide their infirmaties from us until their physical bodies won't let them do it anymore. It's part of their genetic "survival" code. Unfortunately this doesn't help us, their human caregivers, because by the time they are finally unable to hide their aches and pains whatever is causing them has progressed into an advanced stage.

Mike, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this grief journey one day at a time, and please continue to let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[ziggymonster]

Mike I am so sorry to hear about your Frank....your story sounds quite similiar to mine. I lost my 16 year old poodle Mozart a month ago. We were inseparable.....he came to work with me every day...slept next to me like velcro every night.He has been with me thru out my cancer journey which still continues.I have lost other special dogs, but none like Mozie. Never have I experienced a grief so intense...ever. I'm still quite emotional but the intensity has lessened slightly.....I miss him every day. I know that time will help...so be good to yourself.

[MikeB]

Thank you for your support ziggymonster. Yes, the grief is intense and the feeling of frustration that I am no longer available to be there for him is troublesome. It is now 1 1/2 hours until just one week from his death. Why do not know that so precisely?
I do suppose that time will help and the good memories will survive. But for now, and my guess is that intermittently, forever, I will feel the pangs of this loss.

[LostInDespair]

Mike,
Your words are so beautiful. They could have easily been mine-I loved my Squiggy the same depth. I am so lonely and fractured by his loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I have cried for you as I read this, my deepest sympathy and support to you. Frank was quite handsome. Many hugs for you in this difficult time,
-Di

[MikeB]

Thank you for your thoughts and I respect and share the sorrow of your loss.

Though time and activity may make our loss less in the forefront of our lives, the importance of our pet, their life, and their love is never diminished. The bond I had with Frank was unique and irreplaceable. I do not feel any guilt about whether I took proper care of him toward the end of his life. I know he loved me and wanted to be with me until he just could not stay any longer. And he did not suffer; I would not have allowed that. But it never came to that point. His death came quickly, as I said before, on my shoulder, taking his last ride to the vet to end his final distress. But he wanted to die near me and he went to heaven directly from my shoulder, riding in the car as he did every day.
I have included a photo from about 12 years ago, of him on my shoulder, riding in the truck.
I am not a religious person, but I want to believe he is at rest, doing what I am doing; remembering the wonderful relationship we shared and the fun we had for so many (but never enough) years.

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[Aaron]

Mike, please accept my condolences for the loss of your special friend Frank. Trust me when I say that we all know what you are going through and you are not alone in the grief you feel right now. It is hard, I won't lie to you. But the way that you said you won't feel sorry for yourself and how you understand how blessed you are to have had Frank by your side is comforting. That cannot replace the pain you feel now, but at least you have the right attitude of honoring Frank's LIFE and knowing how special he was. When you said "He was my buddy and my "rock".", I know exactly what you are talking about. He was a constant in your life and was ALWAYS there for you over those nearly 16 years. We all share the same feelings for the friends we have had to say goodbye to.

I hope you can share some more stories about how great Frank was. Thank you for sharing the pictures of him, those brought a smile to my face. My best friend has a Dachshund named Chester and I know how special these animals are. They are receptive, loyal and filled with personality. I am sure Frank was the same way.

[MikeB]

I am reminded every day of Frank's effect on others, as patients arrive at the office and ask, "where is Frank?" Of course, the heartbreak starts all over again. But underlying joy saves the day, knowing that this little fellow spread his love around to many for so many years.

I feel blessed to have been loved by him; I felt his love every moment I was with him. I know he felt mine. He wanted to be with me when he died, and he was.

Here is a photo of the curious guy a few years back.

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[janika]

Dear Mike

Frank is so adorable. No wonder he is loved and missed by so many. Try and keep the warm, happy thoughts and memories coming. That's what Frank will want for you.
Thankyou for sharing the wonderful photos with us.

Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

[JanEeee]

What light shines through Frank's bright face, he was clearly a joy in many peoples' lives. Thanks so much for the pictures of him, his personality comes through loud and clear, a great soul much loved and much missed.

Jan

[MommyluvsuLukas]

Hello Mike,
I would first like to say that I send you my condolences on your recent loss of Frank. What a lovely dog he was and thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem with the rest of us. My prayers are with you and your family during this hard time.

MommyluvsuLukas

[Aaron]

Frank is a handsome looking guy with his white beard. Thanks for sharing his picture with us all. I hope you are pulling through and able to let the good memories keep you going. I've found that as we move past all the difficult "firsts" without our Reggie that I can think about the great bond we had with him and smile more than cry.

[MikeB]

Thank all of you for your support. I do have wonderful memories of my friend Frank, and they will last forever. However, pain and pangs of grief return when I realize that his last physical effort was to climb aboard my shoulders, where he always knew he was safe, and where he died. I am honored to have known and had the opportunity to love and be loved by such a wonderful creature.

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[MikeB]

Early tomorrow morning, on the way to work, I will pick up the remains of my best friend Frank. He will go to work with me tomorrow, as he did so many times before. But I will bring him home in the evening and place his little box nearby. I hope to have a good and loving feeling. I know we have never been apart in spirit and this, tomorrow, may be like having my friend at home again, where he belongs.
I respect that others may not have such feelings for the remains of a partner who has passed, but each of us deals with his or her own emotions differently and no one way is correct or wrong.
I am just a bit more comforted this evening for the reasons above. But nothing will replace the eye to eye acknowledgement, the lick of the tongue, the rolling over for a rubdown, the ride in the car, the chin on my thigh, the stretch across my shoulder, the bark that says pick me up, and it goes on and on.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Mike, most folks do find comfort in having their beloved companion's ashes back home, and I share your feelings. Our beloved companions' sweet Living Spirit is forever with us wherever we go and whatever we do, but -- when they are no longer physically with us there is an emptiness in our hearts and lives that will remain until we are reunited with them in eternal joy at our appropriate time. Even though the deep grief eases with healing time, the love bond we share with our beloved companions is eternal, and they are forever in our hearts and memories as we continue our earthly journey as best we can.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Frank with us, Mike, and for honoring us with the opportunity to help comfort you through your grief journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Mike, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam