Ladywolf Is Failing, How do you make THE decision? Options

[Brutus]

Sending lots of thoughts to you and Ladywolf Margi,

Hugs,
Sonya

[Foxysmummy]

Oh Margi the part of your post where you describe Ladywolf dragging her leg brought tears to my eyes, that's exactly how Foxy was. At night she would chew on that leg almost as if she was trying to bite it clean off, it's so heartbreaking. I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way and praying for Ladywolf. Here's a hug for you both ((((hugs)))
Irene.

[Rhapsedy]

Hi Margi,

I am praying extra hard for you and Ladywolf. I am so sorry that you have to go thru this pain. You are such a great mom to Ladywolf, you have done everything you possible could do to make her comfortable and have cooked her great food to prolong her life. I know this doesn't help with the pain but you do need to remember that you are taking such great care of her and that she has lived a long life. You will know when it's time to let go or maybe Ladywolf will make the decision. Either way it will be very hard and we are all here for you.

Rhapsedy

[ladywolf]

Thanks, Sonya, Irene, and Rhapsedy--

We truly appreciate your support--it really helps!

I didn't mean to give the wrong impression--Lady isn't really dragging her leg around uselessly--it's just that it's much more swollen than her "normal" back leg, and hard for her to get up on it, get into the car, etc. Luckily, she can't really reach the tumors, as they are on the inside of her groin, so there's no incessant licking or chewing going on, thank God. It's just that it's (literally) weighing her down and making her movements and balance very awkward and clumsy. But she's still alert and loving and HUNGRY and able to get out to take care of her own toilette, which were the criteria suggested by one vet as being the things on which to base a judgement call...

She sure loves her CHICKEN, spoiled brat! I HATE dealing with de-boning dark meat chicken, but it's the most economical meat I can find, and her favorite...

It's like I'm dealing with two Lady's--the one who is lying around comfortably, acting like her old self, and the one who can't walk past the end of the driveway. But it is what it is; god knows, I don't want to take any action any sooner than I know is right, and that time isn't here yet. So I get to watch her slowly deteriorate. I'm going to have to make the decision one of these days to leave her home while I take a real walk with a friendm or I will start getting really crabby.

There IS a certain elegance to watching a lifespan all the way through--it sure beats sudden death, I think--but it sure is painful too,

Love to all--

Margi and the Wolf

[moon_beam]

Hi, Margi, just getting caught up on how things are going with you and your precious Ladywolf. It sounds like the cancer is becoming more aggressive, and I am so sorry about that. Abbygayle's hip was actually very warm to the touch - - you could feel the heat from the tumors through her skin.

I know what you mean about having your focus on Ladywolf with little time to think of anything - - or anyone - - else. It seemed that when Oslo died I had very little time to grieve for him because Abbygayle was in need of another surgery and I had to focus on her needs and care, and now that the both of them are gone - - I feel like I've been hit with a compounded grieving - - which is exactly what it is.

Once your beautiful Ladywolf no longer needs her physical body it would be a fitting tribute to her for her physical body to provide life food for wild residents. It's whatever you feel comfortable doing, Margi.

I am so sorry that your vet is compelled to charge you for a consult - - $50 a pop. WOW - -

Margi, I'm glad your precious girl still has a great appetite. That is such good news. The rest is one day at a time and savouring every moment you have together. Please give your precious girl a hug from me, and please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers. I will look forward to knowing how things go for the both of you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[janika]

Dear Margi and Ladywolf

Just wondering how you are both doing. Please know that I'm always thinking of you both and sending prayers that you are sharing better days and precious moments.

Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

[ladywolf]

Dear Margi and Ladywolf

Just wondering how you are both doing. Please know that I'm always thinking of you both and sending prayers that you are sharing better days and precious moments.

Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

Thanks, everyone -- An update on Ladywolf--

She continues to have her good and bad days. Yesterday, she had a terrible time with the stairs at a friend's house (there are only three of them), so she sort of slid up them and into the house on her belly. Janice was horrified. but I made a joke about "just not being able to get those darned legs ORGANIZED," which is really what the problem is. Today she's resting peacefully, but we haven't tried to actually do much of anything yet. (I've been in bed with a bad cold, so it's been pretty quiet and uneventful for us for the past few days--no mountains for Lady to try to climb...nor me)

I've gotten used to having a wolfdog who is more or less stationary now--I no longer try to take her on walks, though she still loves to take long rides in the car. She can generally manage to get in and out of the car without too much trouble. Her appetite is still good, though she has recently decided that tuna fish is NOT an acceptable substitute for her favorite roast chicken--that NOTHING is, really...so I go on roasting...roasting...roasting.

As for me, I'm in at least a low-level depression all the time--some days are much worse than others. Some days I can be rather matter-of-fact about the whole process, and other days it tears me to shreds. Lady sure is taking a good long time to leave me. While I'm grateful for that, it does take its toll at the same time. But I have more matter-of-fact days than torn to shreds days, thankfully, right now, anyway, since Lady seems to be in a sort of "holding pattern."

Not a lot to report, really. Back when I consulted the vet in January, she gave her a month or so to live. That was almost five months ago now, and Miss Wolf is still with us, still eating and drinking, using the outdoors for her needs, still alert and perky and "with it." I thank the heavens for giving me so much time with her. I KNOW it must come to an end, but it won't be today and tomorrow...and today I'm okay with that.

Love to all--

Margi and Ladywolf

[smokey/lady/max]

Hi Margi
Just want you to know I am still thinking of you and Ladywolf. Keep on enjoying and treasure the moments you still have. God bless

Anna
xo

[ladywolf]

Hi Everyone--

I just need a place to let it all out a bit. Tomorrow is my sixtieth(!) birthday, and today Lady is having the worst day she has ever had. It started with me having trouble getting her up to get into the car at 7 a.m., as I was getting ready to go off to substitute teach. Then we reached the home of the friend who takes care of her for me, and Ladywolf couldn't get up Janice's little 3-stair staircase. So I had to coax her back into the car and drive her home and leave her here alone while I FLEW off to teach, quite late by then. The students--6th graders--were bloody HECK on me today--and I was SO worried all day long that I could have throttled the little brats!

I came home to find my neighbor Mark in my bedroom with Lady, keeping her company til I got home. She had somehow finagled her way into a tiny back room and was all wrapped up in vacuum cleaner hoses and the like. (I had asked him to check in on her.) Now she's all untangled and resting on her bed--but the reality is, she really can't walk much at all anymore, I guess.

Happy Birthday, Margi. Not.

And tonight I have a class that I really can't miss, and I don't know what to do. I guess I'll have to leave her and ask neighbors to check in on her again until I get home.

Longer-term, I don't know what to do. She is such a proud wolf, this is all humiliating and terrifying for her. She's embarrassed and stressed and I'm no model of perfect mental health either...

I could use some support. Thanks...

Margi and the Beautiful Wolf

[ladywolf]

P.S. I decided to stay home with Lady tonight, no matter what, and miss a birthday party in class that was going to be held for ME...

[Brutus]

oh Margi...I'm so sorry. I will be praying for you and Ladywolf.

Hugs,
Sonya

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hi Margi
Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and Ladywolf -- all the time as a matter of fact. Happy Birthday tomorrow too. At least I hope you can make it be a happy one. I'm sorry to hear that Ladywolf is starting to fade more and more on you -- I know that has to be terribly hard. I remember watching Sammy slowly disappear before my eyes. It was heart-breaking to say the least. You and I both know there isn't going to be an easy away around this -- so please go through it as gently as you can for you and Ladywolf. My heart is breaking for you. Take care my friend.
Sharon

[moon_beam]

Hi, Margi, I, too, am so sorry about Ladywolf's latest events. It is so hard to watch a proud spirit decline. The question still remains: Is this a "significant quality of life" decline, or is it still a manageable change in lifestyle. Knowing that this is quite likely your last birthday with your precious Ladywolf makes it even more difficult to bear. I am so glad you decided to stay home this evening with Lady - - especially since the day's events evolved as they did. The both of you need to be together tonight - - no matter what.

Margi, please know that you and Ladywolf are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you both have a peaceful evening together, and thank you so much for keeping us posted as to how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Rhapsedy]

Margi,

I am so sorry to hear that Ladywolf is declining more. I am praying for both of you.

Rhapsedy

[ladywolf]

Thanks so much, ladies--your words mean so much to me.

Lady is doing better tonight. She's still staggering around like she's drunk, but she doesn't really NEED to walk very much, so we're spending some very peaceful time together on the floor. I'm so glad I stayed home. It was a "First Responder" class--this one on "trauma and triage"--and I really didn't feel as if I would handle any more TRAUMA very well today!

Thanks again for your well wishes--

Margi and the Wolf

[janika]

Dear Margi and Ladywolf

I am so glad that you are home together and sharing precious time. I am thinking of you and sending prayers and asking our Angels to take care of you both. You are doing just as I did with Tasha, by just laying on the floor with her and 'spooning'. Like Ladywolf, she couldn't get up or walk around but she still enjoyed me feeding her and she barked and wagged her tail whenever anyone came in the house. We did that for quite some time, I don't know if I let her carry on in this physical world too long... I don't think so , as I seemed to know when it was the 'time'. I used to pray that she would just fall asleep, that final sleep, in my arms, but she seemed to want to stay, until that final day, when she just wasn't herself anymore. It was as if she was saying 'now mummy, you must let me go'.
Please give Ladywolf a great big HUG for me, and also I send one for you. Your Lady has stayed with you for your Birthday, and I do so hope that you can find Happiness in each others company today. I do send you Congratulations and best wishes for this Special but poignant, Birthday.
I wish we could be there with you to help you through this, but remember even though that isn't possible the love and thoughts and prayers of so many 'forum' buddies and our Angels and fur babies are with you and your beautiful Ladywolf.
Love and hugs, dear friend.

Jan and Pixie and my Angels xx

[madi]

Hi Margi, I'm so sorry that dear Ladywolf's health is deteriorating and she isn't moving around much any more. These moments you are spending with her are so predious to you both. I feel our special angels including Ulriich are watching over her now, she has made many friends and is much loved. Please know that I am thinking of you Margi and know how difficult things are for you right now. Hugs xx


madi xx

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hi Margi
Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Give Ladywolf a hug from me and tell her to give you one from me! Take care of yourself and enjoy every moment with your Lady.
Sharon

[ladywolf]

Thank you, ladies. I just loaded the wolf into the car--she is GOING to my birthday tea party (a bunch of old hags sitting around in silly hats!) whether she wants to or not! Then I'm going to go shoot some pool and drink some beer with my neighbor. I nicely-rounded sixtieth, I think.

Lady a bit better this a.m. I think I have to make sure that she gets her pain pill IMMEDIATELY upon waking up--that way it has time to work before our morning activities. Yesterday WAS really rough on both of us...

Off to tea--catcha' later!

Love--Margi and Lady

[tanbuck]

Hey Margi, try try try to enjoy this day. We're all thinking of you and feel your heavy load. I know all too well what it feels like to watch a soulmate slip away. If only we could do the passing for them. Like Moonbeam said, I think it's important to think of her changes in terms of a manageable change in lifestyle. Only you and she can figure that out unfortunately. I do so hope that she gets a little strength in her for your birthday. If not, then try to enjoy the peacefulness of lying beside her. I spent many hours next to Niles speaking to him in my head. Somehow, I believe he really knew about our conversations even though they weren't out loud.
Anyway, I'm thinking of you on your special day and I really hope it is just that....special.
-Donna