I Am Heart-broken, Feeling So Sad Options

[janika]

Hi Banditsmom

Thinking of you. I cried all the way home when we went to collect Noushka's ashes. I hugged the little box close to me. When we got home we had a little burial ceremony and put my darling next to our beloved Tasha in the garden where they loved to play together. We planted some snowdrops and other white flowers and shrubs all around them. I felt more at peace as she was back with us, it was a bittersweet time, but I did feel better. Now I am waiting for the flowers to show through. When they do I will post a picture on here.
Sending love and hugs to you and your darling Angel Bandit.

Jan and My Angels xx

[banditsmom]

Thanks Sharon & Jan

I did feel a bit of peace having her home. I cried quite a bit at the vet, but they were so wonderful about everything. I also got a few photos blown up, so I'm putting those up, so I can have her all around me. I miss her so much, still waking up in the middle of the night to check on her. I'm still a bit numb I think.

I hope you are doing ok too.

[banditsmom]

I thought I was doing ok today, didn't cry most of the day, but then bed time came and my baby is all I can think about. I miss her so much. I am trying to remember our 14 years of life together. So much changed in the last year as she lost her site and hearing. She couldn't sleep with me anymore, because I was afraid she would fall off the bed. I wish I could have had one more night of her sleeping with me, and putting her wonderful pug face in mine when she sensed I was waking up. She was all about her food - if I even twitched, that was her in. I wish I could have had some of those days again before I lost her.

I miss you Bandit.

[smokey/lady/max]

[attachment=4175:94274_2_1_.gif]
Mommy,
Please don't be sad I am always with you in your heart

Your Angel Bandit
xoxoxo

[AngelCareOne]

"Cuppy Cake Song"

You're my Honeybunch, Sugar plum,
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin.
You're my Sweetie pie.
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop.
Snoogums, boogums, you're
The apple of my eye.

And I love you so,
And I want you to know
That I'll always be right here.
And I love to sing
Sweet songs to you
Because you are so Dear!

"I Love You, Mommy!!!"

Eternally, Your Fur Kid Angel Bandit xoxoxox

[banditsmom]

thank you both so much - it was so helpful to see this when I woke up.

I miss you Bandit - you were my baby - my best friend - so full of love, I am so grateful for the 14 years we had together. You will always be in my heart.

[banditsmom]

Got my copy of the book 'Coping With Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet' - you know I will be reading it into the wee hours tonight. When I go to sleep seems to be when I feel it most. I've heard it's a wonderful book.

[smokey/lady/max]

Hi Bandits Mommy,

At night seems to be the hardest time for me also. Let me know how the book is I may consider reading it myself. It will be 9 weeks for me on Wensday and am still having hard days and alot of bad nights. Night time is when I cry and think of Max the most. Keep me posted on the book. I pray for each and everyone of us specially the newest members.

Hugs
Anna & Angel Max
xoxoxo

[banditsmom]

Hi Bandits Mommy,

At night seems to be the hardest time for me also. Let me know how the book is I may consider reading it myself. It will be 9 weeks for me on Wensday and am still having hard days and alot of bad nights. Night time is when I cry and think of Max the most. Keep me posted on the book. I pray for each and everyone of us specially the newest members.

Hugs
Anna & Angel Max
xoxoxo

Hi Anna,

I've heard it is a wonderful book.

I took part in a chat online last week, maybe you should check it out, there is one tonight at 8pm (EST)
Pet Loss Chat

This site had a lot about the book:

Pet Loss

I'm so sorry you are still having such a hard time. I miss Bandit so much, but I do have some peace b/c I know it was her time.

Please let me know if I can help with anything.

Nadine

[smokey/lady/max]

Thank You Nadine I have a hard time I think because my max was only 7 1/2 and he was just so healthy up until a week before he got sick. That is why I still have all the what if's and did I make the decission to soon. I guess I will always have those feelings. I just know I could not let him suffer since cancer is such a painful desease. Removing his spleen would have been a major surgery also requiring blood tranfusions and was told that it was providing that the cancer had not spread. I have to believe in my heart that the Vet new what they were doing. I have to have faith that his dianoses was correct based on his ultra sound and blood work. But it still doesnt make it any easier on myself. Ending a life is a serious decision specially when he was so full of it a week prior. I pray that if it wasnt the right decision that my Angel forgives me. I love and miss him with every breath I take. Thank you for your kind words.

Anna

[banditsmom]

Thank You Nadine I have a hard time I think because my max was only 7 1/2 and he was just so healthy up until a week before he got sick. That is why I still have all the what if's and did I make the decission to soon. I guess I will always have those feelings. I just know I could not let him suffer since cancer is such a painful desease. Removing his spleen would have been a major surgery also requiring blood tranfusions and was told that it was providing that the cancer had not spread. I have to believe in my heart that the Vet new what they were doing. I have to have faith that his dianoses was correct based on his ultra sound and blood work. But it still doesnt make it any easier on myself. Ending a life is a serious decision specially when he was so full of it a week prior. I pray that if it wasnt the right decision that my Angel forgives me. I love and miss him with every breath I take. Thank you for your kind words.

Anna

You made the right decision because you made it from a place of love. You didn't want your precious baby to suffer, what could be a bigger statement of love. I could have kept Bandit around, she was still eating, the was technically nothing 'wrong' with her, but I could look in her eyes and see her pain. She was needed to go, she didn't want to live in the state she was in. You have to believe the same. The love is so pure of a pet, so you have to know you did what you felt was in Max's best interest, not yours.

[AngelCareOne]

[banditsmom]

Aw Dottie - that is so cute. Just seeing her face makes me smile - thank you.

Stayed up reading the book last night. It seems like a great book to help with the grief, as well as the guilt that so many have. Just read the first few chapters, but the book later goes into exercises to help with both. I promise to report more on it once I finish. It does seem like it could be helpful to so many here, so if you are reading this, and want to know more, let me know either here or through private messages.

[banditsmom]

When I told my client about Bandit, she asked for a photo so she could send me a product from her site as a gift. (she does sympathy gifts)
Custom Personalized Photo Pillow

I can't wait to get it - it will be so nice to have.

[banditsmom]

How many times a day do you 'forget' they're gone and go to get up to check on them? I just did it again. It only last a split second before it hits you - they're not there. I miss her most at night. I guess that's when all the other distractions go away, and you are left with your thoughts.

Miss you baby!

[banditsmom]

PAYING IT FORWARD - "Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet"

I hope somebody reads this, I'm not sure if I should start a new thread or not, but I just finished the book "Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet" and I want to pay it forward. I want to send it to someone else who is hurting. Free of charge, shipping is on me. Just message me your address. First one to do so gets it. All I ask is that you do the same when you are finished with it. Post here, and send it to someone free of charge. Maybe put your name or short note to your baby, on the inside covers.

The book was wonderful, and covered all the topics so many of us here are struggling with.

Nadine