My First Dog - My Love Left Us 12/7/09 Options

[Westiesam/Sharon]

I don't know if many of you remember this song by Bread - Everything I Own (songwriter David Gates) - but I heard this song on the radio last night and this pretty much sums it up how I feel about my Sammy:

You sheltered me from harm.
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you
I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again.
You taught me how to love,
What its of, what its of.
You never said too much,
But still you showed the way,
And I knew from watching you.

Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can’t let go.
I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.
Is there someone you know,
You’re loving them so,
But taking them all for granted.
You may lose them one day,
Someone takes them away,
And they don’t hear the words you long to say
I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

[janika]

Oh Sharon
Crying as I read those words. yes I know that song so well, and it says it all. Going to find it on youtube now.
Thanks for posting. Hope you are ok.

Thinking of you and your darling Sammy.

Love Jan and my Angel Sammies, Tasha and Noushka

[123dad]

You guys are the greatest.What a wonderful site I stumbled onto.The guilt and shame I feel for having let our Emily down and not protecting her like I should have has not eased much but my daughter is trying to make it easier.I know in the coming days and weeks it will continue to get easier.I just regret not doing everything possible short of sticking my hand down her throat to try and get her to throw up.I guess the whatifs and whys will continue to plague me.Like all of you I am so sorry for your losses and hope you can find peace in knowing that your pets love you still.
Thanks Hurtingdad

[janika]

Oh Dear hurting dad
I've just read your post and I feel so sorry for what you're going through. Our darling doggies are all the same if they can get some chocolate they will eat it. Please try not to blame yourself. I lost my first dog when I was 12 years old. She was the love of my life and was a beautiful Welsh Corgi. She was just 6 years old and so full of life. She used to chew everything and she swallowed a plastic bottle top. She had an emergency op to remove it but didn't survive. I was heartbroken and have never really got over it. That was 46 years ago . It was so hurtful but I learnt at that young age what loving and caring for our dear pets is all about. There was nothing I could have done to prevent the tragedy. It's the same for you. We can't watch them every single minute. You're daughter won't blame you, she knows how much you loved and cared for your darling dog.

I'm thinking of you and sending love to you and your daughter and family.
Love Jan and my Angels xx

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hi everyone
I'm really struggling again tonight. I miss Sammy so much. I almost suffocate when I think that I'll never get to pet her again and hold her and tell her I love her and go for walks with her. How does one get over this?
Sharon

[blindsided too.....]

Sharon, started to read the lyrics but after recognizing them had to stop, knew the waterworks would start if I continued... that is a beautiful song. :]

I don't imagine we ever get over any of this... best hope is to work through the pain, and keep doing what we have to do to survive and take care of the others in our lives. Take it day by day, or hour by hour if you have to. Some days will be better than others.

I hope you find some peace soon.

[ladywolf]

To everyone--

Thanks for the words to that Bread song--I know it so well, but had never related it to my four-leggeds before...

What an extraordinary Forum this is! How lucky we are to have it! Big thanks to those of you who created it...

Hugs and XXOO--

Margi and Ladywolf

[Rhapsedy]

Hi Sharon,

I am so sorry you are struggling so bad. When I was a month into my grief I was sure I would never get better. I felt exactly the way you do with thinking that I would never pet my sweet Callaway and do all the fun things we used to do together, it actually felt like my heart was going to stop beating because the pain was so intense. I was living on Ensure because I wasn't eating and I had lost 30 pounds, I was only sleeping on average 1 hour per night, my heart was completely broken and I was barely functioning. It was 4 months yesterday and I do feel better than I did. I am eating again, sleeping better, and although my heart is still broken I am functioning better. I truly don't think we every "get over" the death of our furbaby but I do think that we learn how to cope and enjoy life again. I just want to let you know that I know how you are feeling and what you are going thru as do all the people on this forum, but you will feel better with time.

Take care,
Rhapsedy

Hi everyone
I'm really struggling again tonight. I miss Sammy so much. I almost suffocate when I think that I'll never get to pet her again and hold her and tell her I love her and go for walks with her. How does one get over this?
Sharon

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Thanks for the kind words of wisdom Rhapsedy -- it helps to know that down the road I'll feel better -- I realize everyone is different when it comes to this -- it's such an individual thing. I am so grateful that I found this site and that I can come here and know that I'm understood by people who are feeling what I'm feeling. Thanks again

[janika]

Thinking of you Sharon and darling Sammy.

Hugs Jan and my Angels x

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hey Sammy girl - yesterday it was a month since you've been gone -- I'm still not doing so good without you. I wish I could have a miracle and you could suddenly reappear and be with me again - but I know that can't be. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

Sharon "Mama"

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Today was another tough day -- I hope this gets better soon -- I could curl up in a ball and cry for a year.

[ladywolf]

Today was another tough day -- I hope this gets better soon -- I could curl up in a ball and cry for a year.

Dear Sharon--

I know that feeling, believe me, I do.

But just a gentle reminder--Sammie would not want that for you. Most animals sleep when they need or want to, and run around like little rockets the rest of the time. ACTIVITY is what turns them on--any kind of movement or event or new thing introduced to their environment. Animals don't spend a lot of time feeling sad--there's too much WORLD to explore!!!

My heart goes out to you--

Margi and Ladywolf

[ruby]

Hi Sharon,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Sammy. You aren't crazy, that's for sure. You did the right thing.
You also did everything you could for Sammy.

I'm in the same spot as yourself. I had to put my dog, Ruby down on Dec. 8/09.
It's still hard and strange....and lonely and so final.

I'm thinking of you and your Sammy. Take Care.

[ruby]

Hi Sharon,

I also know that song by Bread very very well.
I'm so happy you posted it because I've been looking at poems and songs to pick something for Ruby's marker.

Thanks!

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Thanks Jan, Margi and Ruby for the kind words -- it helps to know that i have this forum to come to and let myself cry and share with all of you. Margi - you're so right -- Sammy wouldn't want me to be sad -- our dogs were full of life and she was always ready to go at a split second. I know it's my own selfishness that wants her back --when I think about it, she was so much sicker than we even realized. I don't know if I read it here on the forum or someone else - but someone said that dogs (all animals really) instinctively try to hide their pain -- by the time they show it, it's probably pretty bad -- if that's true - then Sammy was really sick those last couple of days. I just wish that all of us could snap our fingers and feel better.
The empty house is the worst -- but I suppose with enough time - this too will pass.
Thanks again for being there for me.
Hugs
Sharon

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Well today it was 5 weeks since you're gone Sammy -- I'm really starting to fixate on whether or not euthanasia is a good thing or not -- all I know is that you were too good of a dog and friend to let you suffer. But boy - when I think about that day - my heart breaks all over again and I feel like the worst person in the world for doing that to you. I hope you can forgive me for hand-feeding you when now I realize you probably didn't want that and I hope you know we only let you go so you wouldn't suffer. I would have moved heaven and earth to get you well -- I hope you understand.
I love you Sammy - always have -- always will.
Your mama Sharon

[smokey/lady/max]

Hi Sharon I havent wrote any post to anyone for awhile except to my max. It was Dec 2nd for me and I truley agree with you the thought of that day just continues to haunt us. I find myself still playing that day over and over in my head. Taking him there to find out why he was sick and leaving with nothing but a broken heart. I also feel like you, I let him down
how could I have done this to him. The last week seems like 2 steps backwards instead of forward. I guess somehow we will get through this but at times it seems like how can we go on. That is why I have not been able to comment on New post because I dont know the answers, they say time well time for me just seems to stand still. The only comfort I can say is that what you are feeling is perfectly normal because all of us here have the same story of our emotions. Some say they are with us, but it sure dont feel like it when we know that they are gone and that we cant touch or love them the way we want to.I know we carry them in our heart everyday but that doesnt ease our pain. I do pray for all of us and our furbabies. Please try to hang in there and take one day at a time that is all I can tell you and thats all we can do. I still cry every single night not for me but for my Max and like you, hope that he forgives me. I hope I dont depress you more but I just wanted to tell you I know how hard its been for you and all of us here.

Cyber Hug
Anna

[janika]

Dear Sharon
Just to let you know I'm thinking of you and darling Sammy. It's over 4 months now since I lost Noushka and yes it's the emptiness and silence in the house that is very hard to bear. I too hand -fed Noushka for the last few days. She really didn't want to eat anything bless her, but she seemed so calm, I didn't realise how ill she was, bless them, they don't like to see us worrying.
I still have bad days but I can now think of her without crying all the time. Remembering the 'Happy' times we shared and the funny little things she did, so 'Time' is healing . Talking to my 'Angels' on here and posting pictures of them, really has helped me.
Sending love and hugs

Jan and my Angels x

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Thanks Anna and Jan
It truly does help to know that others are where I am or have been and that they are living through it. I know I'll never forget Sammy - but I was shocked to feel myself sliding backwards again. I only have the people on this forum to go to now as everyone else in my life thinks it should be okay now that it's 5 weeks already. Thanks for listening to me and for helping me get past this.
Hugs
Sharon