Looking At Photos, Helpful or hard? Options

[Jess]

How do you all feel about looking at photos of your dearly beloved pets who have passed? On one hand I love looking at pictures of my Sydney, they make me smile. But on the other, I feel so sad seeing how happy and full of life she was, knowing that she's not here anymore. The photos make me miss her so much, but at the same time, it brings me comfort to see her.

[raja's mom]

Well I look at my Raja's photo everyday to be know she is close but then again at times I find it painful.
I do it to feel close to her by seeing her but it is a double edged sword. She went to heaven 8 days ago.

[merlin96]

My Jack went to the bridge on April 11 - I still can't believe it's now more than a month. I had to put him down because of kidney failure and he's the first of my babies I had to help across. Everyone else just died on their own. But as to your question, it's funny. I have pictures plastered all over the house (in fact I was joking to someone just the other day that if you didn't know better, you'd think I have no human family, only dogs, because of all the dog pictures hanging up in my house), and those pictures give me great comfort. I have pictures of Jack, the most recent to leave obviously, strategically placed all around my bedroom and next to the box with his ashes (also in the bedroom) and I like having them there. But interestingly, I recently developed the last two rolls of film from before he died and I had a very hard time with those. I looked at them once, really fast, just to see them, and they broke my heart so bad that I haven't looked at them since. I have them sitting on my counter because I intend to look at them again more slowly but I just can't get myself to do it. And I think you really hit the nail on the head - it's very hard to look at those pictures of that time from when we were happy, and especially from before he got sick and I was clueless as to what was coming just around the bend. Jack was old - about 15 - but he was in very good health up until a week before he died. Although I knew that at his age it could happen any time, and of course I thought about it and tried to make myself ready for the inevitable, still, things were great and we were very happy until that last week when he got so sick so fast. So it is very hard to look at those pictures now and think that we didn't know what was coming - we were just blissfully ignorant. Which I guess is a good thing - I think we were lucky that he was in such good shape until that last week and he didn't have something that dragged on (I've been through that with other of my dogs and in the long run, I do think this is better.) But it is very shocking to the system for sure. I'm glad though that I have those pictures and someday I know I will cherish looking at them, as I do all my pictures of my dogs.

[kanecutter]

This subject has been killing me. I had my little girl put down on Feb 4, 2009, and I STILL cannot look at any of her pictures.
I really think there is something wrong with me, as I seem to grieve more for her now than I did months ago. If I even picture her in my mind the pain is unbearable. At the time I thought it was the right time to have her euthanized, but now 3 1/2 months later I am regretting everything. She too had Kidney Desease, but somehow I feel I should have waited.

anyway, if there is anyone else here that cannot look at their beloved's picture or things after 3-4 months I would so love to here from you. I am really scared.

Thks,

Paula

[goldie]

I understand. Our cat passed away one week ago. I have his photos on my PC screensavers at home and work, along with all our other cats. At times, seeing his photos is so painful and sad, that I want to (temporarily) remove it. But I can't bring myself to do it. Even tho it hurts to see his photos, I don't want to remove the remembrances of him. I suspect this decision is different for everyone

[ann]

Hi Jess, I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. Your feeling everything right now everyone else has. It's totally normal. Seeing picts sometimes makes me feel good and I find myself croping and tweeking them, and sometimes it hurts too much to look at them.
As for how much time this will take to pass, we are all different. For me, it will be a year on Jun 8.
I can count all the days I DIDN'T cry on 1 hand in the first 8 mos. It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I began to do things, fun things, and somewhat enjoy them again. However I have my setbacks and having one now. The thrill is gone so to speack. Crying again daily, thinking about not taking any summer vacations, not making reservations to shows, stuff like that. But I had an o.k. couple of months so I know the healing is happening. It will for you too.
I now voulenteer at a shelter. It's challenging, makes me happy and sad at times, but I enjoy it. It gives me something to look forward to.
Talking to others help. We all understand your pain and feel it as well. There ar lots of good articles in the resource section. I don't post as often now as I use to. But I still drop by to read threads and advise and the articles, they are still all very helpful. I try to find things to keep myself busy. That helps too..Hugs..Ann

[Bue's Mommy]

Pictures are really comforting to me. It has helped me realize how much joy he bought to my life.
You'll know when you can handle the pics, your heart will tell you. Try not to think so much of their death, and more of their life. I know it's hard, but it will help you to heal.

Take Care