Shooting Star Options

[Bubba]

Heads up-------It's formal at the BRIDGE-------Willy always prefered being in the buff-------Things DO change!!!!!!!


The new costume--------I better start my diet...............

[AngelCareOne]

Gotcha ... Stand by ... Here I go > > > > >

[AngelCareOne]

This is a very nice black velvet Tux and my Fav!!! ...



But perhaps you prefer red vevet?



Or still black velvet with more ruffles?



Or lastly ...

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Oops! My bad.

[Bubba]

Uh................I'll go with 'my bad'.........naw, I better stay with the velvet.........old married guys know better.........dang it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AngelCareOne]

I dunno, Bubba. Mayhaps you'd look 'reely purdy' wearin' that tuxedo on 'thuh' bottom. *Giggling Madly!*

[AngelCareOne]

Bubba! Bubba! Sorry, didn't mean ta shout. I wanna show ya sumthin' I did. Do you mind please goin' to the lastest post I made in the Alex Tribute thread area? Just to look. Ya don't have to click on the song er nothin' but I made it Sooooo Purdy! And the image to click on is one of the images in the video. Ooooo! An' I made thuh text match in koller 2 ... Sew Very Purdy!

It's Sew Purdy!!!

Oh, and of course ya don't gotta say anything there. I just want you to see how Purdy!

Thanks, Bubba and Hugs!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. It's called Magic World - Caribbean Blue.

[Bubba]

I'm headin' thata way now.......Bubba

[AngelCareOne]

Thanks tons, Bubba!!! Now, head that way back once more cuz ... Ooooo! I answered a question you posed.
The answer is: Yes, of course they go to Heaven ... Where the heck you been? LOL! *Smiling at You!*

Big Hugs, Love, Peace, Hope and Faith to You, Your Wonderful Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Your Pal Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[AngelCareOne]

All right, Bubba. Please fess up. I just spoke with you on Westie's thread and you ain't doin' no good at all. Please share. Please.

And, if you would, please read my response to you at Westie's thread where I did that edit and put in those images.

We're here to share and care and hopefully help. If we're not able to that right at this moment, at least we can vent. I've been venting today at Alex's thread in this forum.

So talk at me, Bubba. Ya know I luv ya more that my luggage and you're my Pal! Please talk at me. How are you?

Big Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Bubba]

Hey Dottie-Well,Like Westie,I have been sort of getting a 'round two' of the reality of Willy's death.Not that it has gone away during this past 39 days or whatever it is.Just the past few days I am looking more and more at his pictures and him not being here(seems like alot of people on this forum are getting physical reactions in the past few days) I am going from the shock and sadness to a 24/7 depression and low end intermittant panic attacks(I have had panic disorder all my life and it kept me from work last year as I could not focus or speak coherently for months.But got therapy and know how to control it now without meds) and am crying more intensly and screaming for him.Even though I have been comforted by the new book and all my previous statements I have made about the BRIDGE and my plans on reunititing with him and all my other kids in heaven,I guess my humanity and weakness takes over and I am just getting tired of F-----g waiting.I know it's all part of the program...........It's good we eccentrics(as some perceive us to be) have this forum to 'spill'.

I knew this was the one year mark of Alex and was planning on posting soon to you but I wanted to wait a day or two as I think this is probably a rough time for you and the fact I have gotten crazy busy with work but will have time to post more tomorrow (Sun) when I am off.Thank you for your concern about me on Westies spot.You really work hard at taking care of the LS clan and we all are greatful.
Since I have been corresponding with you I have become more aware of birds of all types.Especially ones that look like Alex...................Talk to ya soon .................Bubba

[AngelCareOne]

Okay, Bubba. Grab yourself some tea or a slurpee and a bag of chips or what have you cuz this is gonna be LONG. I put it in the format of you and I talking back and forth because this board only allows 2 quotes per post. Ready? Here goes ...

You: Hey Dottie - Well, Like Westie, I have been sort of getting a 'round two' of the reality of Willy's death. Not that it has gone away during this past 39 days or whatever it is. Just the past few days I am looking more and more at his pictures and him not being here (seems like a lot of people on this forum are getting physical reactions in the past few days).

Me: Bubba, that is perfectly natural and to be expected. By the way, it may even get worse or may get better. I ain't sure. All I can do is tell you how I handled it from the get go regarding Alex and there's really no comparison to be made so that won't help you one bit. I am so very sorry! Hugs!!!

You: I am going from the shock and sadness to a 24/7 depression and low end intermittent panic attacks (I have had panic disorder all my life and it kept me from work last year as I could not focus or speak coherently for months. But got therapy and know how to control it now without meds.)

Me: Truly, I understand. I also have panic disorder but after many years was finally helped and have not had any major Panic Attack since I was about 32 years old. Thank God. But, having Panic Disorder whether it is controlled or not will sure either rear it's ugly head or be of some factor in this horrible, gawd awful, stressful as hell time of grieving. I realize I don't need to tell you that because you are there right now. It is scary as Hades! I am serious!

You: And am crying more intensely and screaming for him.

Me: I hear you there, Dear One. I sure do and Dayum, I feel so badly for you! More Hugs!!!

You: Even though I have been comforted by the new book and all my previous statements I have made about the BRIDGE and my plans on reuniting with him and all my other kids in heaven, I guess my humanity and weakness takes over and I am just getting tired of F-----g waiting. I know it's all part of the program ... It's good we eccentrics (as some perceive us to be) have this forum to 'spill'.

I knew this was the one year mark of Alex and was planning on posting soon to you but I wanted to wait a day or two as I think this is probably a rough time for you and the fact I have gotten crazy busy with work but will have time to post more tomorrow (Sun) when I am off. Thank you for your concern about me on Westie's spot. You really work hard at taking care of the LS clan and we all are grateful.

Since I have been corresponding with you I have become more aware of birds of all types. Especially ones that look like Alex ... Talk to ya soon ... Bubba

Me: Okay, I'm only going to say here what I wish to share in public since everyone can read. Bubba, if you want me to spill it like it is, please tell me and I'll shoot off a PM to you and your dear wife can remind you to click the upper right hand of this board to take you to that area.

Here goes: I've read at least 5 times now where you say you are tired of waiting and I got the feeling the first time I read when you said it that we may share a crap load in common about that. Oh, dang skippy when referring to our fur kids. Ahhh Yessss! But it goes deeper.

You and I share quite a bit in common regarding how we were raised, what we've seen with our own two eyes, what we've personally experienced. No, not the same sights, sounds, experiences but the same gravity of fright, terror, actually "seeing evil" as in what some monsters do to other people of all ages, fur and feather kids, to us ourselves and so on. This has been going on since we were very small children and it just won't freaking stop. I mean dang!

So when I say I am tired, that is exactly what I mean. Talking about me personally, I have had some and perhaps many terrific times, fun, partied, vacationed, lots of laughs, caring, sharing, loving, more, more, more and I'm talking about humans and animals. However, at least to me, those horrors now far outweigh all the happy times. I am not only tired of the unimaginable horrors but I am also tired of the happy times as well cuz the happy stuff may give me a smile or laugh or what have you but it's just not worth having those great times anymore because I've reached the final straw. I am serious!

The way I see it is I worked probably 3 or more times harder, longer and better than any other person I know in the human and animal medical field. I loved every moment. Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Did it for close to 30 years. And now I AM TIRED! I deserve peace. I worked danged hard and have earned it. No, I am not suicidal in the least. It's just that I Am Tired and. I've thoroughly enjoyed very much all the great times and have been devastated and/or traumatized by the "bad" stuff. I have led a full life. Let me repeat that cuz it is important. I have led a very full life. I'm done so please let me go for crying out loud! Like I said, I've worked very hard for my reward and do deserve peace so let me go cuz I am so fargin tired of freaking waiting.

Does anything I've said above so far strike a bell with you, Bubba? Okay, here are four very meaningful lines of lyrics to the song "Circle of Life" by Elton John. Well, meaningful to me:

"Some of us fall by the wayside. And some of us soar to the stars. And some of us sail through our troubles. And some have to live with the scars."

Well, each of us have done all of the above at different times throughout our lives. Me? I am fargin' tired of living with the scars, thank you very much. Here's another four lines: "Some say eat or be eaten. Some say live and let live. But all are agreed as they join the stampede You should never take more than you give."

Well, ain't that the truth, too. At this time in my own personal life, I am of the very educated opinion due to my circumstances, that I am 'taking more than I give'. And ... I don't like it one dang bit.

However: "There's far too much to take in here. More to find than can ever be found. But the sun rolling high through the Sapphire Sky Keeps Great and Small on the Endless Round of the Circle of Life!"

Bubba, I do have practically total recall. Pretty uncanny really and it is of great amusement and amazement to others but my point is that I have not gone back looking at anything you've posted. I remember it all. Somewhere you posted saying something to the effect that it's reunions that keep you going now. I can sure relate to that! Please try to remember this and it is about Hope ...

These are dark, dark days and nights for you, Bubba. I undertand that it doesn't help much knowing that Willy is still here with you and just a breath away. You might not even believe that's true but it is. How do I know that? You have got to have gone even more daft than you already are (no offense, Bubba) if you think for even one moment that Willy would leave your side after all you two have been through together. And yes, I remember all you wrote about him being there when your dad was dying, how your dad related to Willy, your beer drinking and chips throwing days that you and Willy shared and how much he loved it.

Have you lost your mind? Of course Willy is there with you. Dang, you're way more fun for him than what he can find in Heaven. Errr ... I hope you didn't take that as blasphemy. I'm just sayin' it as I sees it. Anway, you've got to know he visits you frequently. You have got to know that cuz Dang!

Hang in there, Bubba. Remember, you were only a kid just seconds ago and in a few more seconds, you will be drinking (tea that is) and throwing chips to Willy while spinning your favorite tunes. Word to your Mama!

Big Hugs, Love, Hope and Peace to You, Your Dear Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Bubba]

Hi Dottie--------Yep--------When you asked,"Does that ring a bell?"...............DING DING DING DING>>>>>>>>>>>>>oh yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't expect to fully recover from this.I realize I will tolerate life but never truley enjoy it again.Gotta be truthful here.Not suicidal either.Doing what I need to do to get through life.Tired of the trials of daily living.Would rather be happy but not possible now.But I can act and am for the most part am doing well as far as my wife is concerned.When I do lose it she is right there for me.She is very stoic about her grief.Very silent and moves on.A major shift has taken place and I have aged.I feel if I allow myself happiness that I will forget Willy and I cannot allow that to happen.I fully expect the sick to my stomach,panic/anxiety,dark side feelings to be with me for good with occasional forays into comedy for pressure relief.I know all about therapy and there is nothing new they can tell me.I saw my first shrink at 8 years old.I have been cracking up for a long time.

We learn to live with it I think.................Thank you for your thoughts in the above post.............(in a strong Ed McMahon voice to Johnny) "You are correct!!!!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............Bubba..............

[AngelCareOne]

Hi Dottie--------Yep--------
When you asked,"Does that ring a bell?" ............
DING DING DING DING>>>>>>>>>>
Oh yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't expect to fully recover from this. I realize I will tolerate life but never truley enjoy it again.

Gotta be truthful here. Not suicidal either. Doing what I need to do to get through life. Tired of the trials of daily living. Would rather be happy but not possible now. But I can act and am for the most part am doing well as far as my wife is concerned.

When I do lose it she is right there for me. She is very stoic about her grief. Very silent and moves on. A major shift has taken place and I have aged. I feel if I allow myself happiness that I will forget Willy and I cannot allow that to happen.

I fully expect the sick to my stomach, panic/anxiety, dark side feelings to be with me for good with occasional forays into comedy for pressure relief. I know all about therapy and there is nothing new they can tell me. I saw my first shrink at 8 years old. I have been cracking up for a long time.

We learn to live with it I think... Thank you for your thoughts in the above post ... (in a strong Ed McMahon voice to Johnny) "You are correct!!!!"!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... Bubba .........................

Yep, I figured from the beginning that's pretty much what was happening and how you feel, Bubba. Just like losing Alex is most certainly the last straw for me given the reasons I have, the same appears to be so regarding you and Willy. I did die when Alex died. And now? I exist. Does that also sound familiar? Oh, how dear of your wonderful wife! Please give her hugs and kisses from me. Okay? Thanks!

Well, nothing remains the same, Bubba. But if you're willing to play the game then it's coming around again. I do not feel like playing the game anymore and something tells me that I'm not alone. Still, don't mind when you fall apart cuz there's more room in a broken heart. How very true that is! *Smiling at You!* Oh, I left my mask for you to use. I wear it often. It really does help. Yep.

Click on the mask with the rose. Okay? *Still Smiling at You!*

Big Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Bubba]

Dottie- Yep-------We just keep pokin' along till the end.I just finished a long conversation with a friend and the sibject of Willy did not come up and I didn't realize it till the conversation finished.Distractions do happen I guess.I guess these distractions phone calls,work,paying bills etc. will keep us from totally falling off the edge.These events will get us to the end when we get our wish.Yep yep yep (why do I feel like I have the starring role in'High Noon') yep yep............................Bubba////////////////////////

[AngelCareOne]

Dottie- Yep-------We just keep pokin' along till the end.I just finished a long conversation with a friend and the sibject of Willy did not come up and I didn't realize it till the conversation finished.Distractions do happen I guess.I guess these distractions phone calls,work,paying bills etc. will keep us from totally falling off the edge.These events will get us to the end when we get our wish.Yep yep yep (why do I feel like I have the starring role in'High Noon') yep yep............................Bubba////////////////////////

Exactly. Here ... This is for You!

Why do you feel like you have the starring role in 'High Noon'? I dunno.
Lemme go check it out . . .


Ooohhh I get it now. Uh huh.

More Big Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[AngelCareOne]

Hi, Bubba. Thanks so much for coming over to my Alex thread to see how I'm doing. I did respond to you there. So, how are you doing? Be honest, please. Okay? I know you will. I'll go first. My entire physical body is wracked with gosh awful pain. Doctors say it's because of this stress and anxiety. That's so hard for me to believe but it's true that I can ambulate better at sometimes than other times. It's just gosh awful. Period. Can't cry too hard or else ... Well, you probably read that on my thread already. So ...

Okay, your turn. How are you doing at this point in time? Please share. If I can't help then we can at least vent and cry together. Right? Right. That's what we're here for, to care and share. You're my Pal, Dude so please spill it when you're able.

Hugs, Love, Peace and Hope to You, Your Wonderful Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Bubba]

Hey Dottie--------I'll write here then head on over in the virtual bus to your street.Today was the first day I haven't cried but the day is not quite over.I have two stories for you one I will put on your thread.I called a good friend from high school today to tell him about the 'Cold noses" book as he had lost one of his dogs in May and I thought this book might comfort him.So happens that just three weeks ago he lost his older dog.2 in one year.he lives alone and is dealing with it alone.We had a long chat about things.I have known this guy for about 40 years(since junior high actually then on to high school). I think my body is recharging after all the crying recently.Probably more to come.I wish I had something real beneficial to say to you about your physical pain.I pray that it subsides soon.I would probably choose the route of some legal or other medication but I think I remember you telling me you have allergies to certain stress relievers.I tend to choose the easy route but I know that is not an option for you but I wish it were. I will read on your thread about crying too hard as I have not yet read it.I'll go there now---------Bubba.................

[AngelCareOne]

Oh Wow Bubba. I hear you about it being the first day you haven't cried but the day is not quite over yet. Hang in there, good buddy. You have two stories for me? I can't wait to read them. Thanks!

Your poor friend. And he's going though this alone, too? How gosh awful for him. I sure am glad you called him to shared and care. As far as my body's physical pain, dang it. I sure wish I wasn't allergic to that herbal stuff cuz I sure would ... Well, I ain't gonna admit to it here. Know what I mean? Well, from all I've heard and seen, it's supposed to make one feel all mellowed out, take away pain as in those suffering from diseases where nothing legal will take away that pain and I say go for it. I sure do. As for me? It may take away the pain but that mellow part don't happen. Oh My Gosh. It's just the opposite like a major, major panic attack and I kid you not. It has that "paradoxical" effect on me the same as antihistamines. Any antihistamines and I sure could use them for allergies.

Hey, that's enough about me. I do want to hear more about yourself and your high school buddy that you've known for about 40 years. Bless both your hearts! You are a very dear soul. I hope you know that, Bubba. You sure are. I pray things continue to get better for you but we both know there will be those times and ... Well, you know.

Hugs, Love, Peace to You, Dear Wife, Willy, Lily, All your Fur Kids and Your Friend!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Bubba]

Hey there---well,he is one of four people from school daze I have stayed in in touch lo these many years.We were all in band classes together and played in many of the bands we formed outside the school band room.In fact he(his name is Brad) is the first guy I played in a working band with.Our first 'pro' job was at his next door neighbors house where we played for their son's wedding.We were 13 years old and that is when I decided to play music for a living the rest of my life.Our pay was 5 dollars each and we were allowed to eat all the food we cared to eat.I thought hmmmm.......They are paying me to play my drums and I get to eat all the food I want???? Hey this is cool!!!!!!! and well,been doin it ever since........Imagine that..........

Bubba.............

[AngelCareOne]

Wow! That is way cool, Bubba! I loved hearing about that so very, very much. Thanks a million!

More Hugs, Love and Peace to You and Yours!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox