Woody Options

[Steve K.]

Hello all,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am doing okay. I don't seem to cry as much but when I do the pain in my heart is still as intense. My boy was very special to me. Steph asked me tonight if I don't feel well or if something is wrong. I told her that I still miss my Woody Boy. I almost can't believe that she didn't have a clue that I still miss my boy so very much. I seem to bond with our dogs and cats more deeply than Steph does. That's not to say that she doesn't love them because she does but they always seem to favor me and even Steph has noticed and made mention of that. I love my animals very deeply and when they pass it is very very hard on me. Bubba said in a reply to one of my posts that losing his Willy was more devastating than losing his father. I feel the same way. I loved my dad but the bond with my animals is stronger because they are with me almost all of the time (except for the time I am at work) and because they are dependent on me I guess. I really miss my big red dog.

A couple of days ago I mentioned in a post that we thought we might have had some sort of sign from Woody right after he passed. Steph told me that she heard a sigh next to her one night and she thought it was Smokey but then she realized that Smokey wasn't in the room. When Woody used to lay down, sometimes he would let out a big sigh. I'd like to think that the sigh that Steph heard was from our Woody.

We love you Woody Boy.

[ann]

I'm sure that was Woody who sighed. I wish you many more visits from your buddy. When you have such a tight bond, you can't expect the pain to go away soon. Such a lucky dog, so well loved.. Hugs.. Ann

[moon_beam]

Hi, Steve, I'm so glad to know that you are feeling stronger. The deep emptiness in your heart will always be with you to a certain extent, but your memories of Woody and the presence of his sweet living Spirit will someday help to fill the void of not having his physical presence with you. I believe it was Woody's sigh that Steph heard -- I have experienced similar things when my furkids have gone home to the angels, as others have shared with you as well. The results of clinical studies prove that losing a beloved companion is as traumatic, if not more so, as losing a human family member or friend. The reason for this, among other reasons, is because our companions give to us their undivided attention and their unconditional love - - things that our human loved ones and friends cannot do. As deeply as we love them and they love us there are "expectations" of the relationships whereas with our fur companions they accept us for who we are at any given moment regardless of our social status, financial wealth - - or lack thereof, our political or religious beliefs, where we live, etc.. In response to our furkids' unconditional acceptance and love, we surrender ourselves to them completely, and this is one of the reasons why it is so emotionally and physically painful for us when they preceed us out of this life. It is also clinically proven through the studies that losing a beloved companion that has been given to us or shared with us by a human family member or friend who has also died is equivalent to losing them twice when our beloved companion dies, and this compounds the grief journey we go through when we lose our beloved companion. Steve, there still may be some times ahead in your grief journey that are a challenge for you, as this grief journey has many different stages and intensities. Always know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us - - you and Steph are never alone in your grief journeys. And please know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to hearing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Steve K.]

I just got home from work and it still is so strange not to have my red dog here to greet me. I know what he did when he saw me coming up the driveway because I used to see him do it when Steph was out for a while and came home. He would look out the window and then he would race down the hall to the bedroom where Smokey was sleeping on the bed to let him know that some one was coming home. He used to get so excited. He would run and get one of his toys and carry it in his mouth while I hugged him and Smokey and told them I loved them and it was good to be home and see them again. The tears are flowing now because I can't greet and hug my red boy anymore. I cna't hear him "squeak" anymore when he would let out a yawn. I can't see the "vampire" smile anymore. He only did that once in a while but it was funny to see him do it. He was a very special dog to me and I miss him very much. He was, no he still is, my boy.

[ann]

Hi Steve K. The emptiness is so so hard. It will take a while to get use to. When Arthur was outside he'd wait for me on the walkway. He always went in the house first, checked the two bedrooms and bath down the hall. Never really paid too much attention to it, just thought it was his "thing". After he passed and I didn't see that anymore I realized that he was just making sure everything was ok and safe for me. It is very hard not having my protector. I still haven't been able to think of my friend and smile. I hope that you are able to that..(this sucks real bad)...Hugs.. Ann

[LoveThem]

The tears are flowing now because I can't greet and hug my red boy anymore.


It's okay, Steve...it is okay to cry...anytime you feel it happening. It is all so recent...it takes time to get over the shock of it all. Of course, we will miss them and think of them forever and wish so very badly they were still here and with all this emotion inside.....sometimes tears are what makes it bearable for a time.

You are not alone. We all share the same intense pain..the same emptiness..no matter how much time has gone by for us.

Whatever makes you feel better to do...is the thing to do at that time.

I understood and enjoyed hearing about your boy and the special things you are remembering. It is also a reminder of our own special memories...things that always made us smile.

We are so grateful, so thankful....they came into and became a part of our lives. We will never understand the unfairness of their time being short...but..if bearing this is the only way we could have them in our lives....who among us would trade our time with them to avoid the ending that can only be sad as we are here longer than they are.

I wish you peace and healing..which will come in time. Just know your feelings and your pain are truly shared by all.

[Steve K.]

Hello all,

I think that I am nearing (or at) the stage of acceptance that my Woody is gone. I know that I still love him and I know that I still miss hiim but I find that now I am able to think about other things for a while. I still hold his ashes in the morning and at night to say good morning and good night but I don't cry now. I get choked up once in a while but not like I used to. It will be four weeks on Sunday that he is gone. I have some photos of him in work that I look at in the morning and in the afternoon so that I don't forget him although I don't think that is very likely. I even stopped thinking that God took him from me. The "Cold Noses" book said that God is incapable of doing harm and I agree. A friend (he is a minister) sent me an article entitled "Why does God let bad things happen". To summarize, God doesn't let bad things happen. A lot of what happens has to do with free will. I told my wife many times about how she holds the dog's leash but she ignored me and Woody got away from her. The road that Woody got hit on is a 45 mph road but most of the drivers that use that road exceed the 45 mph limit. Maybe if the driver was going slower he would have been able to stop in time or the injuries wouldn't have been so severe. No, it wasn't God but I know that Steph didn't want it to happen and the driver of the car didn't want to hit Woody. Sometimes life just SUCKS!!! But, I still miss my Woody Boy. Thanks for listening.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Steve, I am so glad you are doing better. This grief journey has its ups and downs, highs and lows, twists and turns. Just remember we are here for you whenever you need to talk. Woody is very proud of you for holding onto the good memories, and for coming to understand that our Father Creator would not do anything to hurt any of His creation. We live in an imperfect world on this side of eternity, and therefore all of His creation is subject to the good and the bad that happens. But God is with us at all times and in all cir%%stances - - and I can testify to that BIG TIME. But Woody is now living in perfection with the angels in our Father Creator's Presence, and is waiting patiently for you to join him in eternal joy at your appropriate time. The separation from him hurts, I know, and that is why we are here to help you through the tough times. Please know you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, Steve.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Steve K.]

In moonbeam's last post to me she said that the grief journey has its ups and downs. Well today was a down day. I cried for my Woody Boy when I took Smokey for his morning and after work walks. I really grew to love that dog. I never thought I would love him that much because when we first brought him home he was a chewer. He chewed up remote controls, shoes, books, and last but not least our one year old $2800.00 sofa. When I called Steph to tell her about the sofa she said that we should get rid of him. I told her that I didn't want to get rid of him but that we had to do something about his destructive chewing. I went on the internet and got some tips and we got him straightened out and he turned out to be a great dog. When we get an animal, it becomes one of the family as far as I'm concerned and it's ours for good. I'm just so sad that we only had Woody for three and a half years. Like I already said, I really loved that dog.

[shannon2183]

Steve,

I have been getting such great comments and support from everyone, but couldn't muster up the emotional strength to read other stories until now. I saw your posting regarding my little Penny. Just wanted to thank you, and also let you know that I have been going through pretty much the exact same feelings as you did when you lost Woody. However, I think I can also relate to your wife and the feelings she's probably been struggling with. In my case, my husband just deployed 2 weeks ago to Afghanistan, and when he's gone, basically all the responsibility of the house, bills, pets, etc is put in my hands. To have had this tragic loss of my girl happen so soon after he left has been so terrible I can't even think of the words to explain. Regardless of how tough it is, appreciate that you and your wife have each other. I feel in a way my world has been turned upside down, which I would have felt no matter what the cir%%stances of losing one of my doggies was...but just moving, just starting a new job, new house, husband deployed, and now this...sometimes I feel like my head is in a vice. So embrace the support that you and your wife are able to offer to each other. I fear that I will start to move ahead, as will my husband, but as soon as he returns, it may start over for him because he'll actually have to be home without his girly girl.

Anywho, I just wanted to say, all the feelings and emotions you describe in your posts is right where I'm at. Today I feel a little guilt for not continually thinking of Pen, because I'm at work, and sometimes I get occupied w/ something. I also get your struggle regarding Smokey. It's the same situation with my Jax...no matter how much I love him, the dynamic in the house just isn't the same...Penny was such a presence as it seems Woody was. Jax, like Smokey, is so laid back and calm. Even with Jax and my two cats, the house seems sooo quiet and empty. What I've been doing that helps is referring to Penny only in the present tense rather the past. She still is beautiful, goofy, a stinker, a little lover. That will never change in my heart. Maybe that will help with Woody. I read your posts and see that it does get easier as time passes, but there are definitely rough days. I can only imagine that will be the case for me as well, but I just want you to know I'm thinking about you, your wife, and your doggie and kitty children as you approach one month w/out gorgeous Woody. I'm approaching one week as of this weekend, and don't really know how it will be...but there is some comfort in knowing others understand.

Peace,
~Shannon

[moon_beam]

Hi, Steve, Woody sounds like quite a character. His chewing reminds me of my first doggie child, Samson - - a mixed Border Collie / Lab. Oh what a mischief maker he could be. One Sunday morning he decided to chew the corner of the rocking chair my mom used to sit in. When I saw what he did, I made him sit / stay while I attempted to repair it, and talked to him that good dogs don't do things like that. He hung his head and I swear tears were brimming in his eyes. He was such a sensitive soul, - - he NEVER chewed anything that didn't belong to him again after that. We were together for 15 years and 8 months. He was my heartbeat, as my Lab has become through the years. Isn't it amazing the things that our furkids used to do that were not their best shining moments become part of our cherished memories of them? I am so glad Woody had you for his dad to patiently teach him the difference between "right" and "wrong", and for Steph as him mom. You have many precious memories of your Woody, and you can talk to Smokey about them - - "remember when you and Woody used to this or that? And remember when Woody did this and you stood there and looked at him like - - what's up, man?" Smokey has memories, too, and needs to know that his brother is not forgotten - - that it's okay to remember. This will help to further tighten the bond between you two men, and may help in the difficult moments when memories flood in that are overwhelming. I promise you Smokey will understand every word you say. Steve, thank you so much for sharing your memories with us, and for letting us know how you're doing through the days. And please know you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers that each day will bring a peace and comfort to your heart.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Steve K.]

As of today (10/19/08) it has been four weeks since we lost Woody. I still have moments when the pain of losing him is almost unbearable. Woody was one of a kind. But then, they are all one of a kind. No matter how hard we try we will never get another pet that is an exact duplicate of the one that we lost. I wish that we could but it's impossible. Woody is gone from this earth forever.

I bought a digital camera in the Spring to get pictures of Smokey because he is showing signs of kidney problems and I thought that we would lose him first. So I took lots of pictures of Smokey and lots of pictures of Woody and lots of pictures of Smokey and Woody together. It turned out that we lost Woody first but at least we have lots of pictures to look at and remember him.

I still have the box with his ashes in the bedroom and I still talk to it and tell him that I love him and that I miss him. I hope that he can hear me and that he knows how much that he is loved. The saddest thing is that all too soon I will be back here when I lose Smokey. Hopefully that won't be for quite a while yet but as we all know in regard to our pets nothing in this life is guaranteed.

In the fall of last year I developed some type of medical condition that caused me joint and muscle pain and stiffness and loss of strength. I couldn't even open a bottle of water. I had pain in my joints from my jaws to my toes. I went to several specialists and they were unable to diagnose what I had but in the Spring of this year it started to go away a little at a time. For a couple of months I was unable to go to the farm with Steph and the dogs because I didn't have the stamina to walk the couple of miles that we walked with the dogs. As the weeks went by I was able to go with them again but I couldn't go the whole distance and couldn't even walk fast enough to keep up with them. I would go as far as I could and then I would go back to the car and wait for them. Every time that I got behind or when I had to give up and go back to the car Steph told me that as soon as Woody noticed I wasn't there he would leave her and Smokey and go looking for me. I would hear his ID tag jingling on his collar as he came running back to find me. He wouldn't leave me, he stayed with me to make sure that I was okay. He loved his Daddy and I loved him, heck, I still love him and I will miss him for as long as I have to remain here on earth without him. He was a good dog.

[ann]

Hi Steve K, I'm so sorry to hear of your ailements and wish you good health. Woody is a special dog indeed. I loved that story of him looking out for you. They do sense when things aren't right with us. When ever I went to Dave's, if Arthur was out, he'd hear me pull up and wait. Then he would bolt to the door to get in the house first and check out all the rooms to make sure it was safe for me. Years ago I broke my foot and was in a cast up to my knee. My cat Daisy followed me around the house all time. My bedroom was on the 3rd floor and to use the bathroom I'd have to go to the 1st floor. And there she'd be following me downstairs watching me hobble, take 2 steps and meow at me all the way down. I'm glad to here you took lots of pictures. I started to and one day I had a photo conversation with a co worker. I was going to show him some and he made a comment like I don't want to see pictures of the cat. I never forgot that, and stopped taking them for the longest time. Oh, why did I let him make me feel guilty for that. I know it is hard right now, you are still early in your greiving, but I hope all your wonderful memories of Woody will get you thru each day with a smile..Hugs.. Ann

[moon_beam]

Hi, Steve, thank you so much for sharing with us about your Woody. He is still by your side watching over you - - just in a different way. I am so glad to know you have improved with your medical challenges, Steve. The "practice" of medicine is not an exact science, sad to say. I am so glad that you have many pictures of your Woody - - as you have shared some with us. I know the pictures are not the same as having our beloved furkids physically with us, but they do help us to focus on the good memories we have. Steve, there is no "straight line" in this grief journey, and there are many different "stages" to adjusting to our loss. Just when we think we have a "handle" on things we can find ourselves crumbling back into feelings of deep grief, sorrow, guilt, etc.. So please remember we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you, Steph, and Smokey are in my thoughts and prayers, Steve, and I look forward to hearing how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[goliath]

For a couple of months I was unable to go to the farm with Steph and the dogs because I didn't have the stamina to walk the couple of miles that we walked with the dogs. As the weeks went by I was able to go with them again but I couldn't go the whole distance and couldn't even walk fast enough to keep up with them. I would go as far as I could and then I would go back to the car and wait for them. Every time that I got behind or when I had to give up and go back to the car Steph told me that as soon as Woody noticed I wasn't there he would leave her and Smokey and go looking for me. I would hear his ID tag jingling on his collar as he came running back to find me. He wouldn't leave me, he stayed with me to make sure that I was okay.

Woody truly was loyal to you through thick and thin. It's amazing that animals just are able to sense our needs and watch out for us.

For 18 months I was being treated for an illness. The treatments were gruesome and made me very sick with little and no energy at times. My husband had taken over the housework and cooking while my Goliath stayed right by my side. Somehow I always made it through my days at work but would come home and collapse at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, often not waking til morning. Whenever I opened my eyes, there was Goliath laying right by my side. He passed away 12 months into my treatments and I had to complete the other 6 months without waking up with him. When I think back to that time now, it seems so long ago. But, I remain thankful to Goliath for all he gave me. His spirit of love saw me through those last 6 months too, and he still walks with me to this day.

Woody will stay with you too. His loving spirit will stay alive always as he soars amongst all God's angels and watches over you.

Take care Steve,
Beth

[Steve K.]

It has now been five weeks since we lost Woody. It still isn't easy to go home and not see him every day but it's not as difficult as it was a couple of weeks ago. I still look at his photos every day and I still stand and talk to his ashes several times a day but the tears don't come as frequently as they used to.

I want to share something with all of you. It happened last week and I was just going to dismiss it but I decided to let everyone in on it. Each morning during the week I leave for work and it is still dark this time of year. I drive around the block and then I get on the main road (the road where Woody was hit by the car) to go to work. Every day I always glance over to my right and I can see my back yard (the second house from the road) easily from that road. Last Thursday morning when I looked at my back yard (which is well lit near the house), it looked like there was a a big red dog looking up at my bedroom window. That's the bedroom where Woody's ashes are and that's the bedroom where Smokey sleeps while we are at work. It wasn't like a crystal clear view of a dog, it was kind of like, is that a dog in my yard or not. I wasn't 100% sure at the time but the more I thought about it, I know that I saw something that looked like a big red dog. There are no other red dogs in our neighborhood and there are no strays for sure. Was it my Woody or was it my imagination? I don't know if it was Woody or not but there was something in my back yard that morning.

Anyone here ever have a similar experience?

[annf]

It has now been five weeks since we lost Woody. It still isn't easy to go home and not see him every day but it's not as difficult as it was a couple of weeks ago. I still look at his photos every day and I still stand and talk to his ashes several times a day but the tears don't come as frequently as they used to.

I want to share something with all of you. It happened last week and I was just going to dismiss it but I decided to let everyone in on it. Each morning during the week I leave for work and it is still dark this time of year. I drive around the block and then I get on the main road (the road where Woody was hit by the car) to go to work. Every day I always glance over to my right and I can see my back yard (the second house from the road) easily from that road. Last Thursday morning when I looked at my back yard (which is well lit near the house), it looked like there was a a big red dog looking up at my bedroom window. That's the bedroom where Woody's ashes are and that's the bedroom where Smokey sleeps while we are at work. It wasn't like a crystal clear view of a dog, it was kind of like, is that a dog in my yard or not. I wasn't 100% sure at the time but the more I thought about it, I know that I saw something that looked like a big red dog. There are no other red dogs in our neighborhood and there are no strays for sure. Was it my Woody or was it my imagination? I don't know if it was Woody or not but there was something in my back yard that morning.

Anyone here ever have a similar experience?

[annf]

It has now been five weeks since we lost Woody. It still isn't easy to go home and not see him every day but it's not as difficult as it was a couple of weeks ago. I still look at his photos every day and I still stand and talk to his ashes several times a day but the tears don't come as frequently as they used to.

I want to share something with all of you. It happened last week and I was just going to dismiss it but I decided to let everyone in on it. Each morning during the week I leave for work and it is still dark this time of year. I drive around the block and then I get on the main road (the road where Woody was hit by the car) to go to work. Every day I always glance over to my right and I can see my back yard (the second house from the road) easily from that road. Last Thursday morning when I looked at my back yard (which is well lit near the house), it looked like there was a a big red dog looking up at my bedroom window. That's the bedroom where Woody's ashes are and that's the bedroom where Smokey sleeps while we are at work. It wasn't like a crystal clear view of a dog, it was kind of like, is that a dog in my yard or not. I wasn't 100% sure at the time but the more I thought about it, I know that I saw something that looked like a big red dog. There are no other red dogs in our neighborhood and there are no strays for sure. Was it my Woody or was it my imagination? I don't know if it was Woody or not but there was something in my back yard that morning.

Anyone here ever have a similar experience?

Steve,
I had a somewhat similar experience today, not a vision, but I was upstairs and I heard a bark at the back deck, it was not our other dog, she was with me. It was the same exact one singe bark that our Woody would make to let him in. I thought I was loosing my mind. Who knows what these experiences are. I heard our cat for many months after she died a couple years ago. I am glad you are doing better. It gets better for a day or some hours but then it just floods me again. I plan to do a post one day, haven't had the energy to do it to date. I read some of the others from time to time, it helps. Take good care and be well
annf.

[Steve K.]

It is two months ago today that we lost our Woody Boy. The pain in my heart is not as severe but it is still there. The tears do not fall as frequently as they did but they still come from time to time. I still have Woody's ashes in the bedroom and I talk to them daily. I still have Woody's pictures at work and I look at them each morning and can't believe that he won't be at home when I get there after work. We did get two Lab mix puppies and they help keep us busy (actually, very busy) but they can't replace Woody and I didn't really expect them to because Woody was one of a kind. Smokey Joe is hanging in there and he has begun to play with the puppies (born on 09/11/08) but they get on his nerves once in a while so we have to keep them separated for small amounts of time but not entirely. I just wanted to let everyone know how we're doing.


Steve

[LoveThem]

I'm glad to hear about Smokey Joe and you having the 2 puppies to keep you busy. I found the distraction of adopting another cat helped me a lot. It is nice not to feel the total emptiness in the home when they are gone.

The pain does lessen with time and then all of a sudden can just hit you between the eyes one day and it is okay to let go again and cry.

We all know we never can replace our special one we lost but we also feel their spirit as part of our heart and we know they are there with us forever.

They would approve of the new additions because their type of unconditional love means they are happy when they see us laugh or smile...and puppies can do just that.

Thanks for sharing your update.

Judy