Woody Options

[Steve K.]

Woody Boy,

We just took Smokey for a walk at the County Park. We never took you guys there before because you would want to have a confrontation with all of the other dogs and probably some of the people on the trails. Your brother, Smokey, is more mellow since he is older and he did pretty well with the whole experience. I miss you very very much and I still cry several times a day because you're not here. I love your Mommy but I just don't understand how she let you get away from her. I know she feels badly about it but I can't say anything to her without her getting mad at me. I will always love you, my big red dog. I will always love you.


Dad

[Zita'sMom]

Steve

I am so sorry to hear about your Woody and I share your pain. I too ask myself the same questions about this difficult physical world we live in.

My pets are my life too. I lost my "little Buddha" cat Zita in October of last year - she just disappeared and I've never seen her since. I am still brokenhearted. But in December I adopted Ziggy, who could have been her sister or mom. She was such a remarkable loving kitty and I felt so lucky to find another cat so special. She didn't replace Zita, but she was my "helper" cat. Then on August 23rd she was shot. The vet didn't do the right surgery and 5 days later she died. It hurts incredibly.

I miss her all the time, but especially before bed, when she used to purr loudly and snuggle in, and in the morning when she accosted us for her "drippy water" fresh from the sink - she insisted that this was the way she must have water. She was adorable.

One thing I can say to you is do cry your tears, and grieve this loss. My husband has shut it off somewhere in his heart and is unable to stand my grief (tells me I'm acting like a child). He just wants me to get on with it and says he doesn't have time to be dragged down in this way. Personally, I don't think this reaction is healthy, and my husband had a near heart attack last Sept, which I believe is exactly the result of this type of holding in emotion. I personally wish he would react more as you are reacting, by acknowledging this deep loss. (Ziggy really loved him especially.)

Despite his and others reaction, I know this loss is for me, just as significant as losing a child for someone else. There seems no sense in it, but the only way I can cope with these losses is to try to "make meaning" from them and to use them to draw close to others who share the pain. Especially for couples, I think grieving can either drive you apart or bring you close together, and I hope you and your wife can openly share your grief, because I think this helps with healing.

Buddhists talk about attachment and the pain it creates, but I once asked a Buddhist monk, who I respect, about attachments with animals who are hurt or dying. He said to have empathy and "heart", we indeed must have attachment. And so in our attachment, the loss creates pain. But not being attached can result in the sort of behaviour of the person who shot my beloved Ziggy. So I choose attachment and I choose the pain that goes with this attachment. Because without it we would miss out on joy. That does not make the loss easier, but I hope it is some comfort that you are not alone.

namaste

Jan.

[Steve K.]

Today was really bad for me. For some reason I cried on and off all day. I had to go out to my truck for 15 minutes while I was at work so I could cry for my Woody. I start to think about all of the things that he did and how I will never see him do them again and it overwhelms me. Smokey still seems to miss his buddy, too. I don't know what to do for him. We give him extra attention and love but we can't give him Woody. I will never understand why Woody was taken from us. Even worse, I will never KNOW the reason why Woody was taken from us. I love my Woody with all my heart and that 's what makes the pain so great. Sometimes I wish I would go to sleep and not wake up again. I'm not suicidal, I'm just in pain and tired. I would never leave my Smokey and Karma and "A" and Steph. Steph just came home and she is going to feed Smokey and then we will take him to the park for a walk to try and take his mind off of our collective loss for a while. Thanks for listening.

[Zita'sMom]

Sometimes I wish I would go to sleep and not wake up again. I'm not suicidal, I'm just in pain and tired. I would never leave my Smokey and Karma and "A" and Steph.

Steve - I know this feeling all too well. It's like wanting a direct connection to your boy and not having to wait until "Rainbow Bridge". I know also the feeling of never knowing for sure "why". The most comforting thought to me is the idea that our life here is just one grand illusion and on other levels we are in contact with our deceased love ones all the time. Also I imagine that my pets are looked after in ways greater and more lovingly than anything I could provide here on earth.

I think it is healthy that you are acknowledging your pain and not burying it. For me, I think the healing of this grief comes more quickly than to pretend you are "okay" when clearly you are not.

Woody is an incredibly lucky dog to be loved as he is by you. I'm sure if he could he would give you slurpy kisses and comfort you in the best way he could. And perhaps he is doing this anyway, and you just don't realize it.

Jan.

[britt09]

Steve, let me start by saying i am truly sorry for your loss and i know exactly how you feel about never knowing why our babies r taken away from us out of no where. i lost my 2 year old cat a month or so ago to a freak accident. i think the reason why it hurts so much more is because they were taken so suddenly. Its easier to deal with when they are sick and taken away, when u have a little bit of a warning. But when they are taken away like that for no apparent reason it hurts soo much more! And when people say they r in better place it just feels like they ain't because they were in no pain her on earth with us. But i can promise it gets a lot easier to handle the pain and be able to have a normal day. There isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about buttons but i am finally able to think about her and smile! I hope things get better for you soon, and keep posting here because here we are always here for you. i know if it wasnt for this site i have no clue what i would have done!

Brittany

[geese]

Hi Steve,

I'm gonna make this brief. There is no reason why this happened. It was fate. It sucks, I'm being blunt, but there is no other way to describe it or make it feel any better.

My best little man was taken from me within 2 short weeks, and it came as a shock. It sucked, I cursed out the world, I blamed myself for making the decision to let him go......

I am so sorry for your loss, my heart bleeds for you as I know mine did. It hurts like hell, when our best little buddies get taken away from us so suddenly. There is nothing in our power that we can do except grieve, grieve, and grieve some more. Cry your heart out until you feel all dried up, and then even cry some more. I think it's the only thing that helps.

I don't know what else to say, except, know that your buddy is in heaven, and he knows that he could never replace the love you gave him.

All my thoughts,

Geese

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Steve, the pain and anguish from your loss of Woody is devastating and it feels like your world is crumbling down around you. In 15 days on October the 16th, it will be a year since my loss and I still find it so difficult to cope that at times I literally forget to take my next breath. I feel your pain so deeply. Truly I do.

Here is the most beautiful song of Blessings that I personally have ever, ever heard in my life. It brings me comfort and I pray it will do the same for you. I wish so much to give these Blessings to you and your fur child, Dear one. Hang in there and don't forget to breathe. Now, many Blessings to you and your fur kid with much love, Steve!

Please Click on the Angelic Lady

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby. Back to the years of Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow. Bless you with love for the road that you go.

May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune with diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet and may you need never to banish misfortune. May you find kindness in all that you meet.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May you bring love and may you bring happiness. Be loved in return to the end your days. Now fall off to sleep. I'm not meaning to keep you. I'll just sit for a while and sing Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

Many Comforting Hugs, Loving Angels, Hope, Faith and Peace to You and Woody!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Steve K.]

Jan, Brittany, Geese, and Dottie, I would like to thank you for your kind thoughts and words. I thought that today would be a little better. I didn't cry when I took Smokey for his morning walk and I didn't cry while driving to work. I made it through the whole morning without a tear. I usually go out to my truck to take my lunch break because I like to open the windows for fresh air and then I usually read for a while. Well, I didn't do much reading today. The tears started as soon as I got into my truck and I cried for almost my enitre lunch break. I managed to shed a few tears a couple of other times during the afternoon, too. I'm missing my Woody Boy and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier for me. I want to say to my wife, "how could you let him get away from you" but I don't dare. She is hurting too and if I say that it will just start a big fight. I know she didn't do it on purpose but I just wish she would have held on to him. Part of our job was to protect him and we failed him. I keep telling him that I am so sorry that we failed him even though I don't know if he hears me or not or even if he understands if he does hear me. A friend told me about some puppies that were born on 09/11/08. We are going to look at them on Sunday. When our 17 year old cat, Furfee, died last year on 08/01/07, the very next day Steph found a four week old kitten in the woods. We had to hand feed it around the clock for two weeks and that helped us with Furfee's passing. It was like Furfee sent the kitten to us as a replacement and it helped us. The father of the puppies is a Rottweiler/Lab mix and the mother is a Boxer. The pups will be big and we always take the big dogs because no one wants them. We are getting a fence around our yard so Steph doesn't have to walk them on a leash anymore when I'm not home. It's too late for Woody but maybe it will help with the next babies. Do any of you think that we are disrespecting Woody's memory? The puppies can't leave their mom for five or six more weeks and I'm thinking/hoping we will be ready for them by then. I think Woody would want us to adopt again but I don't want to do anything to take away from his memory. I miss my big red dog. Daddy and Mommy love you Woody Boy.

[LoveThem]

You are not disrespecting Woody's memory by getting another.

I hope you realize that you do have two pages here in your topic and hope the replies on Page 1 helped you also.

[Steve K.]

Today was a little easier than yesterday. I stilled cried for my Woody Boy several times but I was able to read my book and eat my lunch without crying. I still thought of my boy during my lunch break but at least the tears didn't start. I still can't believe that he's gone. He was so full of life and love.

I belong to a motorcycle club and we have our monthly chapter meeting tonight and our semiannual regional meeting tomorrow afternoon. I will stay at the clubhouse tonight because it's a 60 mile round trip and I have to be there early tomorrow to help with setting up for the meeting. Being around all of the guys will take my mind off of Woody temporarily. I hate leaving my Smokey but I will be back tomorrow afternoon as soon as possible.

The last time I left the house (other than work) I had two dogs. When I came home, I only had one. God wouldn't do it to me again, would he? I think that I will go off the deep end if I lose my Smokey. The sad thing is that when we took the dogs to the vet in May for their annual checkup, Smokey's urine test showed protein in his urine. The veterinary practice I was with at the time couldn't make up their mind what to do about it and I went through everything from "don't worry about it" to he could be gone in three months. We took him to the vet that treats our cats and they said that he has a renal insufficiency and that they treat a lot of dogs that have the same thing and that dogs can live along time with it. I didn't ask what she meant by a long time but it said on the internet that they can live anywhere from a few months to a few years with it. She gave us medication to control the protein loss in the urine. Smokey doesn't have any of the clinical signs yet and he is dong well. But, I thought that I was going to lose Smokey first and that I would have his "brother", Woody, for a long time. I never expected to lose Woody first and that's what makes the loss even more painful. Woody was going to be my comfort when we lose Smokey.

I couldn't get on the LS website this morning so I will post this when I get home. I typed it at work and sent it home to myself. I will copy and paste it into a reply when I get home. Thanks to all of you whp responded for caring and for your support. You are all very wonderful people. I always thought that motorcycle people were the best but "animal people" are even better.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Steve, each day, each week, each month will get a little bit better hopefully to the point where you can remember your precious Woody with a happy heart. Have you thought about doing a biker rally in honor of Woody that would raise money for research, financial support of companion animals who are victims of domestic violence, as a donation to your local humane society, etc.? You could make this an annual event in Woody's honor and designate each year for something different, as a suggestion. This may also help ease your loss to keep his memory alive - - not just for you but for your communty as well. And you could incorporate Smokey into the advertising for the event - - even make the donation toward research in canine renal insufficiency that would - - perhaps -- find better treatment for companion animals who have this illness. These are just suggestions, but I thought I might ask as many folks who are bikers and belong to biker clubs do these types of fundraising events for various different organizations. Steve, God knows your struggle and is a compassionate God. He is with us at all times and in all cir%%stances. I do understand your struggle, but for different reasons which actually has brought me to a closer relationship with Him in spite of the horrendous traumatic cir%%stances. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Our journey on this side of eternity is a walk by faith, not by sight. For if we only believe in what we see, then we become seriously disillusioned and have no hope for something better. And when a spirit - - of any life form - - loses hope, then it loses the will to live. So, Steve, believe in your heart that God's merciful and bountiful blessings will be with you at all times and in all cir%%stances, and you will have the assurance that He is a loving God. I hope you will accept this in the spirit of friendsihp it is offered to you to be a means of comfort and encouragement to you - - and not as a means of "preaching" at you. This grief journey raises many questions in our hearts and minds, and if I have been able to help you find a way to have some peace in your heart and mind, then I am content. Steve, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[ann]

Hi Steve, If you feel the time is right for a new dog, then go for it. You know it won't replace Woody but heal the wounds a bit. I know how you feel about wanting to say something to your partner. In my case, Dave wants to just forget about the whole thing and move on. Not forget about Arthur but the shattered heart he experienced. I cannot ignor the pain, tears, all that. He wanted him to be an indoor cat, I wanted outdoor. He use to say to me whenever he came home hurt "your the one that wanted him to be an outdoor cat". Even after this I said please don't say it and he said no, no, he loved it outside that's where he wanted to be. But I can't help thinking he's bursting at the seems, holding it in, and one day boom! "he should have never been an outdoor cat this is all your fault". It makes me sick to my stomach but that is how I'm feeling. Is he thinking this or is it my own guilt. Like you I know how you want to say something, but your right, there will be problems, she will think your blaming her and it was just an accident. So, let the tears flow. I also know that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye and I know that has played a big part in your grief. When my cat Daisy was put down without my knowledge I literally had a nervous breakdown. This time I was there, I had to be. But in all honesty, the vet called Dave at 4am and said he had a rough night and was having a hard time breathing. Dave said after the whole ordeal "I wish they said he had died so I wouldn't have gone thru this". And in some ways so do I. My first euthemism and it was the most horrible thing I ever went thru.. Only we know when it is time to let our grief go. I hope your new pup will help you with yours.. Let us know.. Hugs ..Ann

[annf]

Steve,
I am crying as I write this. I cannot believe that there was another Woody out there that came to such a tragic death. Our beautiful boy Woody was killed on the highway several miles from our country home, I happened Friday night the 26th just some days after your Woody. My husband and I are just so sad. My heart is broken, and I feel so responsible. I cannot even write of the cir%%stances it is so distressing to me. Woody was 10 and the very best dog we ever had. We too have another dog, Schatzi a little 11 yr. old Corgi. We are all grieving. I know there is nothing to take away your pain as there is nothing that takes away our pain. I just wanted to let you know that there is someone out there feeling your pain and crying with you as you mourn your Woody.
ann f

[Steve K.]

A lady stopped by today that saw our Woody get hit. She pulled over to ask my wife if she needed help when it happened. She stopped today to ask how Woody is. I told her that we had to let him go and she said she didn't think that it looked that bad when he got hit. She expressed her condolences and told me that she has two dogs and I could see tears in her eyes as she left. Now I am concerned again that my wife might have overreacted and let him go when she shouldn't have. The Vet wouldn't have let my wife let Woody go if something could have been done, would he? I should have gone over there. I just should have gone over there.

I wanted to share something with all of you. My mother-in-law gave us a book called "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates" by Gary Kurz. It says that it is a book for those who have lost a pet. I just started reading it and I like what I have read so far. The author researched the Bible for this book and one paragraph in the book starts out "In Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates, indisputable and convincing evidence is offered to prove that God has indeed made eternal provision for all of His creatures." It will take me a few days to read it but I will let you all know what I think when I am done. The bottom line of the book is that we will see our furry children again.

[goliath]

Hi Steve,

As sure as I am sitting here, I am also sure that we all will reunite with all those we have loved that have gone before us and those who will pass after us. Knowing this brings me so much peace of mind. You and Woody's time together here on earth was just a mere fraction of what eternity will bring for both of you.

That was kind of your Mother-in-law to give you "Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates." It's not one I have read, but will look up tomorrow. I have read many books about pet loss. One I would highly recommend to you is "Angel Dogs" written by Allen & Linda Anderson. Since you mentioned this book "Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates"cited proof of eternal provisions for our furloves, I have pasted a list of scripture directly from the Bible which may also bring you some comfort. (See at end of post.)

Working through a devastating and sudden death of a furchild is by far the hardest thing I have ever been forced to do in my life. Though bodies may persih, loving spirits never die. My Goliath was with me here on Earth and remains with me in everything I do, everything I touch, everything I see, and everything I feel. His loving spirit is alive and well all around me and inside of me. Woody is still with you too. Your bond with Woody cannot ever be broken........even in death. He soars amonst the angels and is in God's almighty hands.

Much love and comforting hugs to you and your wife,
Beth

ACTS 3:21 Whom the heaven must receive until the times of restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began. (KJV)

REV. 21:5 And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And He said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. (KJV)

ECCLESIASTES 3:18 I said in my heart, "Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals”. (NKJ)

ECCLESIASTES 3:19-20 Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath, man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust and to dust all return. (NIV)

PSALM 36:6 Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your judgments are like the great deep; you save humans and animals alike, O LORD. (NRS)

GENESIS 1:30 and to every animal of the earth, and to every fowl of the heavens, and to everything that creepeth on the earth, in which is a living soul, every green herb for food. And it was so. (DBY)

ROMANS 8:19-21 "the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God, because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the *** of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God."
(KJV).

LUKE 3:6 And all flesh shall see the salvation of God.'" (NKJ)

[annf]

A lady stopped by today that saw our Woody get hit. She pulled over to ask my wife if she needed help when it happened. She stopped today to ask how Woody is. I told her that we had to let him go and she said she didn't think that it looked that bad when he got hit. She expressed her condolences and told me that she has two dogs and I could see tears in her eyes as she left. Now I am concerned again that my wife might have overreacted and let him go when she shouldn't have. The Vet wouldn't have let my wife let Woody go if something could have been done, would he? I should have gone over there. I just should have gone over there.

I wanted to share something with all of you. My mother-in-law gave us a book called "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates" by Gary Kurz. It says that it is a book for those who have lost a pet. I just started reading it and I like what I have read so far. The author researched the Bible for this book and one paragraph in the book starts out "In Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates, indisputable and convincing evidence is offered to prove that God has indeed made eternal provision for all of His creatures." It will take me a few days to read it but I will let you all know what I think when I am done. The bottom line of the book is that we will see our furry children again.

[annf]

Steve,
I read your post tonight. I posted earlier today about our own Woody. Please be careful of the guilt, feeling you should have done something different. It has been eating at me all week and it will surely bring you no peace. Cry, mourn, honor the memory. That is what I am trying to do. All these feelings are surely normal. Please know that others grieve with you. It is in this intense pain that we know we are truly alive.
annf

[moon_beam]

Hi, Steve, when it comes to "hit by car" injuries, there are a lot of variables. Even though the "hit" may not have "looked all that serious", the internal damage escalates over time -- bleeding / bruising in the lungs itself can be fatal. Add to that shock and other injuries - - your wife followed the vet's advice in Woody's best interest. Part of the grief journey is the questioning process "what if" and "why didn't I" and "I should have" - - it's normal. The second guessing can almost drive us insane because we want so much to "make sense" of what happened. I am so glad you have found a book that may help you find some peace, and I will look forward to reading your book reivew of it. Goliath has certainly given you many good Scriptures to read. Revelation 5:13 is absolutely proof positive that animals are in heaven - - and not just in heaven but are gathered around God's throne. I have also done an extensive Scripture study on animals in heaven, and would be glad to send it to you - - but only if you would like to receive it. Steve, this grief journey just takes time to get through - - there is no "proper way" of doing it. We each must find what is helpful for us individually. But it is a journey that no one has to travel alone, and I am so glad you are here so that you can receive support, encouragement, and comfort along the way. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Steve, and please keep us posted as to how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[goliath]

Hi Steve,
In answer to your question if the vet would have put Woody to sleep if it was unecessary......the answer is NO! It was nice of the lady who witnessed the accident to stop by and express her condolences to you and your wife. Even though she said it didn't appear to her to be that bad, she would not have been able to see what damage was done. Sometimes injuries that look to be minor often turn out otherwise in both humans and animals.

It sounds as though you and your wife are both very distraught about Woody's accident and the result. That is completely understandable. Hang onto each other and love each other. Woody would not want either of you to let this already tragic event of his death to come between you. This is a time to be close, even if in silence. It will take both of you alot of time and tears to come to terms of acceptance of Woody's death. Just remember that his spirit is alive and well from here to eternity. The best is yet to be and will last forever and a day.

Thanks for bringing this book "Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates" to my attention. I did look into the book today and see Gary Kurz has two more books in print right now and should be ready for sale in about 3 weeks. The two that are coming soon are titled "Ghost Pets" and "God Of Me Too." This kind of reading always provides so much comfort for me and I hope it does the same for you.

Peace, hugs, and blessings,
Beth

[Candy's Dad]

Hi Steve,

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am to hear about your loss of Woody. I lost my Candy several months ago, but it was her sister Pepper who we lost several years ago when she too got struck by a car. It's been years and I still miss her. I wish I had the words that would help make the pain go away. Just know that we all are hurting with you and that one day, we will see our precious ones again.

Hang in there.

Candy's Dad

Hal