Zita Gone, Now Ziggy, 3 Cats lost in two years Options

[Zita'sMom]

[[/size]

Ooohhh, that sure made me Smile so big again, Mommy! Lookie!!!

To The Bestest Mommy in the Whole Universe! And that's My Mommy Jan!!!

I Love You Forever and Forever! I Love You with All my Heart! I Love You whenever We're together! I Love You when We're apart!!!

From Your Baby Fur Kid Ziggy and I Love Ya to Bits, Mommy!!!

Oh Dottie - that is so nice, and I do think wherever Ziggy is is a much happier place than here. The above picture looks like my boy Zeus.

I won't read what happened to your fur kids at this time if you suggest I don't. I do want to ask you though, how do you find strength within the situation? A part of me feels so helpless and hopeless that someone is walking around with no remorse having blown Ziggy and my life to pieces. Also, though I don't want to blame the vet, she really could have saved Ziggy if she had known what she was doing. She may feel bad, but they are still charging us for the surgery. Apparently when I was away, she called my husband and said she was sorry for what had happened and that they would take off a hundred dollars or so of the $850 fee (also we paid $450 more for follow-up at my regular vet afterwards.) My friend who is a vet tech said she should have known to do the exploratory surgery and suggested I report her to the veterinary association. I don't really want to go there, however she could do the same with other pets and they could lose their lives.

I am just wondering, actually for anyone who is reading this, how do you cope, what do you do to carry on?

When my 17 year old dog died I was very sad, but he had a long and full life and I could find peace within the situation. He often comes to me in dreams. My first cat was 12 and died of liver cancer; that was difficult and painful but neither was so difficult for me as having lost Zita and Ziggy, both young cats and both senselessly. I do not know what happened to Zita, but I never got to even say goodbye. With Ziggy at least I was able to tell her how very much I loved her and how sorry I was that this had happened. Still I feel unrest because of the killer that's out there. I love cats very much and I can't have them here. I think that Zita and Ziggy because they were especially loving and innocent made them into easy targets. This is so sad to me.

I find it hard to deal with the demons of "what if" and "why" and the cruel heart of the killer who took Ziggy away from me.

Any suggestions on coping would be much appreciated.

Jan.

[AngelCareOne]

I won't read what happened to your fur kids at this time if you suggest I don't. I do want to ask you though, how do you find strength within the situation? A part of me feels so helpless and hopeless that someone is walking around with no remorse having blown Ziggy and my life to pieces.

Well, I'll tell ya, Jan. I cope several different ways. At first, I was not able to feel nor express any anger nor rage because I just never do. I'm a "walk away" type of person. But Not, Not, Not when it comes to animals, children, family, friends and the defenseless. Alex was the very best friend I've ever had in the world both human and animal. Also so amazing a creature it would knock your socks off! We actually held "simple" conversations that had meaning. I won't go into it but yes, he knew what everything meant within his enormous vocabulary which I taught him and other stuff he picked up on his own from TV, other observations and people and my other fur and feather kids, music, photographs, all kinds of images on the PC, YouTube Videos and so on. Holy Cow.

First, I broke down. I was a basket case in the worse, worse, worse sense of the word! Gradually, I got ticked off. Heh. Can you say, "Police reports, charges made, guilty parties served with a lawsuit from my attorney" ... Ooo La La!

I also write poems for Alex, talk with him here, give him the videos he enjoyed watching so much as he sat on my right shoulder all day, giving him pictures and images that I remember he loved so much as well as choosing songs and images that I feel he will love bunches!

Best part is that the three parties have absolutely no idea of the other crimes I am going to charge them with and they think they are out of the woods. And I have a ton of evidence regarding each charge including their own voices on tapes during meetings that they gave with their blessings. Oy and Doh on them. Oh, this is so unlike me but for Alex ... ANYTHING!!! I'm certain you understand what I mean, my feelings and the "Why" that I did not "walk away" this time. In addition, I have many incriminating photographs and their own HOA (Home Owner's Association) legal documents which clearly prove them culpable of several crimes that will definitely put two of them behind bars. Heh.

There's more but the most important thing is that ... Alex is right here with me. He really, truly is. I carry his heart in my heart. Even though I can't see him, I know he's there.

Jan, it's called Faith and Hope!!!

I cry Justice! I will have it. In the meantime, I very well recall how terribly upset Alex would become whenever I was sad or sick. He would cry and tell me how sorry he was, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Over and over. He'd also do his best to cheer me up in ways you couldn't possibly conceive. LOL!!!

I owe Alex because there was not much short of horror before him and ... He Decorated My Life!!! I do Not want him to see me so devastated so I must be strong for him. I simply must. And I keep reassuring him here in many ways that "Mama" is all right so to be Happy, Sing, Dance, Talk up a storm, get down with his bad self and Party! Party! Party!

Errr, how'd I do so far explaining how I cope?

Big Hugs and Lotsa Love!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. It helps me more than I can put into words when I do my best to comfort others here. Word!

PS. PS. I also occasionally scream bloody murder like I'm being tortured while I cry so loud and hard that it sounds like a wounded canine or primate. Well, that gives me some relief as well.

More Big Hugs!!!

[Zita'sMom]

There's more but the most important thing is that ... Alex is right here with me. He really, truly is. I carry his heart in my heart. Even though I can't see him, I know he's there.

Jan, it's called Faith and Hope!!!

I cry Justice! I will have it. In the meantime, I very well recall how terribly upset Alex would become whenever I was sad or sick. He would cry and tell me how sorry he was, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Over and over. He'd also do his best to cheer me up in ways you couldn't possibly conceive. LOL!!!

I owe Alex because there was not much short of horror before him and ... He Decorated My Life!!! I do Not want him to see me so devastated so I must be strong for him. I simply must. And I keep reassuring him here in many ways that "Mama" is all right so to be Happy, Sing, Dance, Talk up a storm, get down with his bad self and Party! Party! Party!

Errr, how'd I do so far explaining how I cope?

Big Hugs and Lotsa Love!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. It helps me more than I can put into words when I do my best to comfort others here. Word!

PS. PS. I also occasionally scream bloody murder like I'm being tortured while I cry so loud and hard that it sounds like a wounded canine or primate. Well, that gives me some relief as well.

More Big Hugs!!!

Wow, Dottie, I think you have a great inner strength. I wish I knew who did this to my Ziggy or how to make them understand the pain they caused... or at least have to face some consequences. I can only hope and pray and send energy to that effect because I have no idea who did it. I will leave up the posters as long as I live here so at least the person responsible, if they are in the neighbourhood, will have to read about my pain for a long time.

Someone on here (I think) posted this link on using "EFT" (new to me) which also used affirmations - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyCc56uUypU...feature=related

I did this today and it seemed to help a bit. I'm not functioning very well, and very few people around me seem to fully understand...

Do you still feel zest for life? How long has it been since your Alex has been gone? I noticed in a post that your husband also is in spirit, so it sounds like you have had to learn to cope with loss...? I'm only asking because it took months after Zita disappeared for me to feel really "good", and actually only just about a week before Ziggy got shot, was I feeling really motivated again. Now I don't want to really talk to anyone other than those who can understand my feelings. Losing Ziggy this way and never knowing what happened to Zita are the most painful losses I have had because they were so senseless and both cats were young, gentle, sweet healers - Zita was just 3 and a half, Ziggy, just 5 and a half. Now Zeus (Zita's real brother) is really on his own. He became much more independent and "wild" after Zita was gone. He bonded very well to Ziggy but I can't risk another cat where I live. Zeus loves being outside - I know he is terribly at risk now. I tell him this, but I know he absolutely wants to be outside - he comes in at dinner and stays in until morning - that is his compromise.

My husband's dog Rosie is very old (almost 17) and getting ill and I know her time is not long. I am not quite ready to deal with that one yet, though I may have to. She's really having trouble getting around, lots of messes now also and she barks at night after we've gone to bed. I think she is just uncomfortable and sometimes wants to eat, but not really. My Merlin went through something like it as he aged.

When you describe Alex, it reminds me of Merlin - he had a very connected and psychic "intelligence" as well. Merlin knew what I was thinking and feeling, but he was always steadfast and strong. When I was in tears, he would look at me to say "I'm here for you mom and I always will be." And he is too. He is often in my dreams. Merlin lived to be over 17 and I got him when he was 4 months old. By the time he left me he had become senile and very, very restless and uncomfortable in his body. I don't think of those times anymore because it wasn't the true "him". The true him showed me in a dream that I don't ever have to worry about keeping him "safe", using leashes or thinking about traffic. He showed me that if I just think of him, he will be there, and when he is not he is perfectly safe.

I had another dream too about the dog I grew up with, Skippy. He was hit by a car when I was 15 and I was inconsolable. Then he came in a dream and told me he was happy and would be there for me whenever I needed him. I still remember how vivid that was even now.

I am completely at peace about Merlin. We spent 17 wonderful years together and he was my "soul mate" and special boy. He lived as long as he could. I just don't feel that what happened to Zita or Ziggy was "meant to be". I really feel they were taken from me far too soon and too violently.

Still I would like to make something positive of their memory. I just miss them so. I had gotten so used to Ziggy's beautiful "singing purr" - she was my sound healing kitty. I really don't think she wanted to go, but her body gave her no choice. I have "seen" her on the windowsill, on her chair and on the couch. I saw Zita this way several times - once so clearly it was almost solid, but quickly faded. I know they are there sometimes, but it's not the same.

I seem to deal with this loss by feelings of depression and hopelessness. My husband seems not to be that bothered, but he doesn't attach as deeply to the animals as I do... We have 5 dogs right now - Ziggy fit right in! She was part of the family the very first day. I will post her pic laying with the dogs on the couch.

I am going to a medium tomorrow to talk about Ziggy and Zita. He is a very good medium, but I don't know if he's ever contacted animals. I've done some animal communication myself but I never seem to get the answers that I really need.

Anyway, thanks for all your thoughts - I do want to find out all about Alex and his wonderful, magical ways. What a special guy he was!

Attached image(s)

 

[Zita'sMom]

Someone on here (I think) posted this link on using "EFT" (new to me) which also used affirmations - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyCc56uUypU...feature=related

I

Dottie - that was you who posted that! Thanks!! I will look at some of your other posts for suggestions also.

Jan

[ann]

Thank you - I am being quite selfish right now and not taking time to hear other people's stories and pain. I am out of town right now without a lot of internet time, but I would like to know more about what's happened to you or your pets...

I keep thinking and waking up all night - this person who has made my Ziggy suffer and die, and has created so much suffering for me, is just walking around without remorse. The vet who failed to do the exploratory surgery didn't give her the last chance she deserved, and hasn't even offered an apology. And now there is no turning back.

I am searching for ways to cope, but such murder is considered trite by the general public it seems and I am expected to carry on like normal. Unfortunately this is impossible for me... Life is not fair, but how do people find meaning and carry on when such things happen?

thanks again for your good wishes and intentions...

Jan

Your right Jan, Life just isn't fair. How do we carry on?? Good question. I think it's a lot of time that passes and acceptance. As hard as that my sound to you right now, for me, it's all I can go on. I'll try to make my story short. Arthur came home with a 4in gap in his tail. Vet said he got hit(or grazed) by a car. He was afraid of cars, and people. Who knows, I never thought he'd go in the street. There's a lot of nerves that goes from the tail to the bladder and bowel area. All that got damaged. He had no control going all the time. Almost like that whole area was paralized. Reading up on that type of injury on the internet it said cats who do survive will have to be forced manually to go to the bathroom, by pressing on their bellies 3 to 4 times a day. When you said your baby had been shot in that area, I thought of that instantly. I know we really want to try everything to save them, but the reality is do we really want them to live like that. Arthur was scared, hurt, in a strange place with strangers poking at him. His blood pressure was all over the place. I keep thinking if I could have just stayed with him long enought to calm him down, maybe he could have had surgery so I would have known for sure. It's too late now so all I have to go on is what quality of life he would have had. You WILL be able to carry on one day, the hurt my never fully go away. If finding the culprit will help you heal, I pray you find out the truth. Big hug...Ann

[AngelCareOne]

Hi, Jan! Hey, you're catching on. There's a lot I haven't told you but, if you wish, will explain a little bit in a PM to you as to how one like myself "appears" to be far stronger than many. Gee, I've proven to myself that I am stronger than most but I don't share why because I simply CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT bear to be pitied. Oh, something like, "Wow, what a bummer, Gal. Oy Vey!" That suits me just fine. But when people find out about all the horrors I've experienced, witnessed and so on then go into their, "OMG!!! You poor thing! I feel so SORRY SORRY SORRY for you and I can't believe you survived! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!" You get the picture. I don't even cope that well with being given sympathy unless it's in a "What a Bummer" type fashion.

BUT! I will tell you why and give you specific true experiences that have made me STRONG!!! However, ya can't do not pity stuff or I'll have to smack ya silly.

Oh, the "EFT" works amazingly well for me and I could feel relief from the very first time I tried it so I just had to share with everyone here. I sure hope to gosh it helps them as much as it helps me.

You asked me if I "feel a zest for life." I'm laughing my arse off over here which is most certainly inappropriate to say the least. LOL! And I'll tell you why if you wish to know.

Jan, if I hear one more time, "Hey, he was a bird. Just a freaking bird. There are millions of them out there for pity's sake. Just get another one and cut out this nonsense. You've got to get over this, yada, yada, yada ..." If I hear that one more time, I think I'll spit! See? I know what you're talking about, Hon. By the way, I lost two husbands due to death but the one before Kenny was a demon spawn from Hades. OH My Gosh!!! I am terrible to say that! LOL! But, it is true and I even grieved horribly for about one full year about his ... Oh, you don't want to know how he died. Eeekkk!

Finally, I woke one morning and asked myself why the heck am I screaming and crying my eyes out about Simon dying when he was Lucifer reincarnated. Oh My Gosh! There I go again. Hahaha! That was the last day I felt any grief for him.

This is turning into a novel so I'll try my best to sum it up. When a person experiences horror after horror, tragedy after tragedy and yada, yada, yada ... It's a well known phenomenon that a certain "type" of person does not "feel/perceive" the same emotions as those who haven't been through as much. So, I guess you could say that I am blessed! If you REALLY want to know more of the specifics and how that makes someone like myself actually perceive HORRORS in a different manner, please let me know and I'll shoot off a PM to you.

What you're going through now with Ziggy and ... It is so unspeakably unbearable for you and I want so desperately to help you learn how cope just a little bit better. SO MUCH PAIN!!! I can feel your unbearable PAIN, ANGUISH, DEVASTATION and MORE!!!

Many Blessings and Angels to Hold You Close brining you Comfort, Peace, FAITH AND HOPE!!!

Love you to bits!

Your Pal Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Zita'sMom]

Hi, Jan! Hey, you're catching on. There's a lot I haven't told you but, if you wish, will explain a little bit in a PM to you as to how one like myself "appears" to be far stronger than many. Gee, I've proven to myself that I am stronger than most but I don't share why because I simply CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT bear to be pitied. Oh, something like, "Wow, what a bummer, Gal. Oy Vey!" That suits me just fine. But when people find out about all the horrors I've experienced, witnessed and so on then go into their, "OMG!!! You poor thing! I feel so SORRY SORRY SORRY for you and I can't believe you survived! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!" You get the picture. I don't even cope that well with being given sympathy unless it's in a "What a Bummer" type fashion.

Hello Dottie

I think feeling "sorry" for someone comes off like one upmanship (maybe not on purpose but...). It's like if you feel "sorry" you see the person as weaker than you in some way. It is empathy that I think draws people together, not pity...

I did read your story about Alex (beause my imagination can be more disturbing than the truth sometimes!) and I do feel great empathy for you! Massive!

And as it helps you to reach others, it also helps others here to reach out to you. I truly, truly wish and pray that you find out the real truth about what happened to Alex. I understand the not knowing, as this is what I went through with Zita - however, I am not aware of any remorseless type people involved with her disappearance. But now I don't really know after what happened to Ziggy. The pain of not knowing, for me, has been so intense! Although I feel Zita is in spirit, I never got a chance to say goodbye in the physical. I am angry, in different ways about the loss of Ziggy - I did, did however get the chance to tell her how I loved her so, so much and how sorry I was that this happened. She just purred and I know she understood. It doesn't make the pain of loss any easier, but I didn't even have that chance with Zita.

The people that don't understand my feelings said things like "It's been a couple of weeks since Zita's been gone, (why is it bothering you)", or recently "You did talk about Zita an awful lot" or just that I needed to let it go. I guess other people cope in different ways, but if a child or spouse or relative was missing, no-one (unless they were completely out to lunch) would ever say things like that. I do realize also that resistance of what's happened makes it hard to find peace, and somehow we have to find a kind of peace in not knowing. Easier said than done though!

I will have to work out how PM works on here, but I would love to find out more about how you've learned to be so strong.

Maybe we need an "Unsolved Mysteries" program for pets!! What about a group email with a description / photo of Alex asking people to send it on and to contact you if anyone has information? Group emails can go pretty far in today's world. Are there bird associations you could contact in case Alex was sold?

My thoughts and prayers are with you and with Alex, hoping you find peace and harmony both.

take care

Jan.

[Zita'sMom]

Your right Jan, Life just isn't fair. How do we carry on?? Good question. ....
There's a lot of nerves that goes from the tail to the bladder and bowel area. All that got damaged. He had no control going all the time. Almost like that whole area was paralized. Reading up on that type of injury on the internet it said cats who do survive will have to be forced manually to go to the bathroom, by pressing on their bellies 3 to 4 times a day. When you said your baby had been shot in that area, I thought of that instantly. I know we really want to try everything to save them, but the reality is do we really want them to live like that.

Hi Ann - the decisions are so difficult in these pet emergency situations. I think I was in a bit of shock myself, I called my husband to talk to the vet when she said "exploratory surgery" and gave me a quote of $850. At the time, I wasn't sure if it was life threatening. My husband spoke to her on the phone - he was a former police officer - and said that the exploratory surgery was important because they can sew somebody up and find an internal injury later. So what did the vet do? She opened up the skin and stitched up the abdomen, but didn't go inside to see that Ziggy's bowel had been severed. This kills me....

But beyond that, the vet tech of my normal veterinarian (the emergency vet wasn't anyone I knew) said that a bowel can be stitched and that cats can live with a partial bowel even and the worst thing is a bit more diarrhea than normally. If the vet had just tried then I would have more peace with Ziggy's passing.

I do think your Arthur's situation and your choices were totally based on "quality of life" which is the utmost caring and loving way to be to any animal. I did wonder if Ziggy would ever have bladder control again since she didn't have it in her last few days. At least I know she has no pain now.

My vet screwed up, but it is the person who shot her that killed her ultimately. This person just has no concept of the pain caused by his / her actions.... I hope someday this person will understand the sacredness of these creatures who bless us with so much joy when they are treated with love and care.

I know that you were a loving mom to your Arthur - the "what if's" are what haunt us, but we unfortunately can't go back. I can think of a million things I would do differently if I'd known what was to happen, but there's just no going back. I wish there was!

These screw ups and difficult decisions happen with humans too - I almost died from a misdiagnosis a couple of years ago and was just lucky enough to have a substitute doctor at a critical time.

I know that your Arthur is in a place of peace - it is us that has the difficulty accepting the loss.

take care Ann!

Jan.

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Jan, firstly I wish to apologize for not having made any sort of response to you until this time. Yes, I read everything you wrote, comprehended it and feel it. I read it over and over again with acute cognizance and tremendous emotion, reaction, feeling you ... And so much more ... And so much more ...

Please allow me to try my best to explain an aspect of myself without you nor anyone else here experiencing any sorrow, concern nor worry for me. There is no reason for that concern, worry or feeling any kind of, "Oh My God that it so unbelievably tragic and hideous" type of thought or thoughts regarding this one aspect of myself. What it is ... Is unfortunate and nothing else. That having been said, I want very much to try and explain.

There are occasions when I am not able, not capable of expressing my thoughts nor feelings even by use of images, pictures, songs, my own or other's poems, quotes and so on. I call it "losing my voice." From all my training, I've come to realize that it is a wonderful coping mechanism. Sort of like putting all unspeakable things way up high on a shelf safely way back in the corner of my mind. Just for a while at least. Just for a while.

That's happening again right now and I have God to thank for gifting me with this ability. I'm not certain how long it will last as it sometimes only goes on for a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, days and at worse, a few weeks.

Please know that I am having thoughts and feelings of enormous gratitude to you for your kindness as well as ... About your own situation ... I need to stop now because I do not have the words. Well, I do have the words but I find I cannot (not will not but actually cannot) tell you ... It is about your situation though. That I can say.

Please bear with me until that time when I get back to that place in my mind to retrieve what I want so desperately to say to you and help you and so much more ... Then I can come back and make my words happen. I promise that I shall return and continue our conversations.

If I were to express myself right now the following would be very close ...

You'll recognize that famous painting titled: "The Silent Scream." It's saying a bunch of what I cannot put into words but mostly the frustrating thoughts of not being able to find my voice and tell you all I want to say to you right now. Therefore: "Oh Crap!"

I am still able to express to others both human and creatures genuine humor, kindness, sympathy, comfort, love and the like but not what I wish to tell you. I hope and pray I find my voice soon so can come back and tell you "stuff." Until then, God Bless You Most Abundantly for Understanding.

Also, I Wish you Justice and Peace!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. Praise the Lord for the Spell Check feature.

[Zita'sMom]

There are occasions when I am not able, not capable of expressing my thoughts nor feelings even by use of images, pictures, songs, my own or other's poems, quotes and so on. I call it "losing my voice." From all my training, I've come to realize that it is a wonderful coping mechanism. Sort of like putting all unspeakable things way up high on a shelf safely way back in the corner of my mind. Just for a while at least. Just for a while.

That's happening again right now and I have God to thank for gifting me with this ability. I'm not certain how long it will last as it sometimes only goes on for a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, days and at worse, a few weeks.

Hi Dottie

Thanks for writing - you have said so much that has been helpful, that it wouldn't matter if you didn't say one more word! You have offered so many kind thoughts. Also, I hope you know that when I spoke of pity, I just meant that our human species is probably not well trained in dealing with grief and pain... unless we happen to have great teachers by some great fortune! My husband's previous wife died young and people said things to him meaning well, that he didn't frankly find too helpful. I have struggled at times with what to say to friends going through loss as well. We are such an awkward lot, us humans, at least the animals know naturally how to express their concerns and grief.

I guess things are just what they are, and it's our perspective that makes them good bad or ugly.

I don't know why it is that people like me feel such intense pain about my loss while others seem to adjust more quickly. Maybe it is perspective, or belief or just purely our deep love for the pet we have lost. Someone told me about Kahlil Gibran's poem "Joy and Sorrow" and I think that explains it for me; that joy and sorrow are intertwined.

Here's a link if you'd like to read it: http://www.katsandogz.com/onjoy.html

Maybe there is another perspective that makes adjustment to loss easier.....?

By the way, your picture looks like a very accurate self-portrait of me at the moment.

take care

Jan.

[AngelCareOne]

By the way, your picture looks like a very accurate self-portrait of me at the moment.

I know, Jan. Honest and for true I know that picture depicts your feelings and emotions in a major way, Dear One.

I Wish You Peace!

Big Comforting Hugs!

Love, Faith, Hope!

And Justice Will Prevail for You and your Fur Child!!!

Your Friend Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Jan, I just had a brainstorm on how to tell you about the medical and scientific research and proof of how "certain types" of people for "certain reasons" do indeed perceive and react differently to horrors, tragedies ... I don't want to say anything else here in my message to you or I know I will be revealing far, far more than I want to say.

Hon, the REASON I am going to share this very sensitive information with you is because you are experiencing very much the same that I am due to what happened to your most cherished, beloved Ziggy. That monstrous act which would not surprise me in the least was done by the reincarnation of "The Iceman" Richard Kuklinski.

Ummm. I believe I have a 12 part interview of him between a very famous psychiatrist and the sociopath himself while in prison before he died of old age. The Iceman, that is to say. If I do have those YouTube tapes, I'll put the URL links so show you what type of "monsters" do these unspeakably, unbelievably unconscionable acts with no remorse and without batting an eyelash. And get this: He was a very dear, sweet, loving, caring, friendly, sociable man with a wife and children that he adored and spoiled them with lots of ... you'll see the tapes, Jan. It makes one wonder just who to trust as I did with those three monsters who did what they did to my Alex. Goodness Gracious and Oh My, Oh My, Oh My!

You can also google a written transcription of that interview as well as the biography of "The Iceman" Richard Kuklinski. It will help you to understand why this breed does not feel, cannot feel and .... I'll stop there . . .

I'm going to send you several PMs. Please feel free to read or delete them. Again, I am sharing this with ONLY YOU because YOU are experiencing the same as myself, Dear One. More Hugs to you, Sweetie!!!

Please keep an eye on the upper right hand corner of this message board that will inform you when PMs arrive. Just click on that and it will take you to those PMs. There will be many, many PMs from me because the information I have is ... Oh My Goodness. I do believe it's close to a novel. Word.

You'll note that I have practically total recall of just about everything I see, hear, that I can repeat and/or describe all I witness word for word. Uncanny ability, Oy. I still can from the age of about 4 years old to present date. Golly! It's just another Blessing from Him ... And a bit of a "curse" as well. LOL!

Here I go to begin sending those PM's, Jan.

Big Hugs and Losta Love!

Your Friend Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Editing: Done. It only took four PM messages but they are LOOONNNGGG as all get out. LOL! So grab some popcorn and a cool refreshing beverage or some soothing hot chocolate.

As quoted in the movie Contact staring Jodi Foster ... "Want to take a ride?"
More Hugs!!!

[Zita'sMom]

Hon, the REASON I am going to share this very sensitive information with you is because you are experiencing very much the same that I am due to what happened to your most cherished, beloved Ziggy. That monstrous act which would not surprise me in the least was done by the reincarnation of "The Iceman" Richard Kuklinski.

Ummm. I believe I have a 12 part interview of him between a very famous psychiatrist and the sociopath himself while in prison before he died of old age. The Iceman, that is to say. If I do have those YouTube tapes, I'll put the URL links so show you what type of "monsters" do these unspeakably, unbelievably unconscionable acts with no remorse and without batting an eyelash. And get this: He was a very dear, sweet, loving, caring, friendly, sociable man with a wife and children that he adored and spoiled them with lots of ... you'll see the tapes, Jan. It makes one wonder just who to trust as I did with those three monsters who did what they did to my Alex. Goodness Gracious and Oh My, Oh My, Oh My!

yes, the Iceman. I saw some of those interviews. It's awful to think humans can be so detached... I just hope that the person who killed Ziggy feels some remorse - enough never to do it again. I remember as a child some boys up the street from me who had caught mice and were running over them with their bikes. Their parents found out and were horrified and those boys had some major consequences including volunteering with animals. I know other adults I've worked with who have confessed to doing nasty things to animals as children, God knows why, but they seemed to somehow learn that those things were wrong along the way. I must have an overpowering empathy gene because I cannot imagine doing those things. I wonder if it's the hunter / killer human instinct especially in some boys that makes them do those things. Although I also know girls who have been cruel to small animals, mainly when their parents did not supervise and regulate their handling of those pets. I can understand very young children not understanding about another animal's pain - they need to be taught. If it turns out it was teenage boys doing something stupid, you would think the parent would know about them having access to a shotgun... Someone knows what happened and most likely more than one. My posters will stay up as long as I live here and no-one has come forward. So every day when they check that mail they will be reminded....

thanks for your thoughts. I am really gutted by all this and I don't know if I am an "unstable" person or what. My hubby seems to be taking it okay and my stepdaughter acts like nothing happened (she's 14). I don't like feeling in this state of grief but to be honest, the more the reality sets in of what happened, the more upset and angry I feel.... I have a home based business, and frankly I feel less motivated than ever in my life. Nothing really seems to matter that much...

I love animals soooo much - I love their purity and their innocence. For someone to take away a life, and to put a creature through pain like this - it's just the most hurtful thing I could ever be involved with. I would rather have it done to myself!

I hope I can learn something through this experience; something maybe I can share with others. I would like Ziggy's life to mean something - she was worth everything to me and I love her so much.

Perhaps when I have a little more time I will describe her a bit more - she was such a special, lovely appreciative cat! She was absolutely beautiful.

take care

Jan.

[AngelCareOne]

I wonder if it's the hunter / killer human instinct especially in some boys that makes them do those things.

No, Hon. It isn't that at all. Well, perhaps it's so when they do it to a bird, squirrel, deer or the like.
But not when they do it to a cat or dog. Big difference.

I am really gutted by all this and I don't know if I am an "unstable" person or what.

No, Jan. After what happened to Alex, I did a ton of googling, have Websites where physicians (experts about this) explain so much, tell the why you're reacting this way, your "behavior" and so much more. That it is normal. Those experts give much proof that validates your behavior. I still have those Websites in save and will retrieve them for you. Oh, it made me feel so much better to know that it was "normal" because I did feel I was going insane.

Also, I have many actual case histories of real people, their experiences and how they reacted and behaved. We are NOT alone, Dear one. I saved those and shall retrieve those links and send them to you, too.

I wanted to come here now to tell you I got your PM response and made a reply because I remember you saying the PM feature is new to you. So, "You've Got Mail."

Until Later, More Hugs and Sending Many Angels, Love, Comfort, Hope and Faith!!!

Your Friend,
Dottie xoxoxox

[AngelCareOne]

Hi, Jan. Just to let you and others know, I did make a post in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" with all those Websites and information. Just click Here as a direct link to that posted message about "Coping With Pet Loss and Emotions that Go With It."

Take care, Hon!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Zita'sMom]

Hi, Jan. Just to let you and others know, I did make a post in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" with all those Websites and information. Just click Here as a direct link to that posted message about "Coping With Pet Loss and Emotions that Go With It."

Hi Dottie - thanks so much for those websites. I read the first link and it is reassuring there are others that respond strongly as me. For me a pet that has been murdered or stolen, brings on quite a different feeling than I've felt for pets who've lived a long life. It is so much harder to have peace thinking that somebody had a minute's giggle over her struggle for life.

Dottie you've read this but I'm posting it for anyone else who might be reading.

I'm writing a letter to the editor, and I'm stuffing this in every newspaper and on all the mailboxes where we live. Here it is:

Last month on August 23rd our cherished cat Ziggy came home with a bullet wound that went through her abdomen. On August 28th at 6 a.m. she breathed her last distressed cry, her body settled, and she was forever still. As time passes, I think more about the person who shot Ziggy. Did they have a good laugh as they watched her panic, spinning in circles, struggling for her life? The emergency vet said her claws were frayed, I can imagine her terrified reaction having had a bullet pierce suddenly through her entire body. She never roamed further than a few yards from our house and there are no small livestock nearby for legal justification of this act of killing. Ziggy spent her last 5 days having tubes in her stomach, being force-fed food and water. As it turned out, she had a severed bowel; so all this “care” just amounted to more torture for this sweet cat. I would like the person who shot Ziggy to know a little more about her. She was an SPCA cat, an uncommon female orange tabby. She joined our home 2 months after my other cat went missing and helped me to cope with the grief of that loss. My Ziggy had a “singing purr” of appreciation that made everyone laugh despite themselves – so loud my mother couldn’t hear me on the phone! Ziggy lowered her jaw and “sang” out her gratitude of her new life in our home. Ziggy purred on her way home from the SPCA in her crate, she purred at vet check ups and my dear Ziggy purred to me the night before she died, as I stroked her. I can still see her smiling little face looking at me as she sat in the sunshine. Now I wonder, is any pet safe in our neighbourhood? Might someone get a kick out of taking down our arthritic Border Collie or have a little more “fun” at the expense of our cat Zeus? We moved to this area because we thought it would be a sanctuary for our pets. I now loathe this decision. Whoever the shooter is, I hope you can fathom just a fraction of the pain you caused and the void you created - all for your minute of “entertainment”. If anyone has info about this crime please contact Crimestoppers 1-800-222-TIPS.

[AngelCareOne]

{{{{{Jan}}}}} You're welcome and good on you for your perfect, perfect, perfect letter to your editor! Keep up the good fight, Dear one. Hugs!!!

I have a question, please? Is that photo of Ziggy or Zeus? I'm assuming it is Ziggy but it looks so much like the smiling "look a like" picture I sent to you in the very top post that looks just like Zeus. Hmmm? Ether way, SO VERY BEAUTIFUL A KITTY!!! Awwww!!!

Big Hugs!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Zita'sMom]

{{{{{Jan}}}}} You're welcome and good on you for your perfect, perfect, perfect letter to your editor! Keep up the good fight, Dear one. Hugs!!!

I have a question, please? Is that photo of Ziggy or Zeus? I'm assuming it is Ziggy but it looks so much like the smiling "look a like" picture I sent to you in the very top post that looks just like Zeus. Hmmm? Ether way, SO VERY BEAUTIFUL A KITTY!!! Awwww!!!

Well, we marched on over to the neighbours who have a teen boy that I wondered about, but lo and behold they were really nice people. Where we live the houses are not exactly right next to each other. Still I left a poster with them. They really couldn't imagine anyone in the neighbourhood doing such a thing. My hubby thinks someone drove by and took a shot. That seems so weird and unimaginable, but what happened to Ziggy is almost beyond belief anyway. I am just confused about who would do such a thing. But hopefully he / she will read my letter and "feel" something, at least something more than pride about popping off a tiny defenseless pet. I do know that Ziggy didn't feel angry. She purred and appreciated me even when she so helplessly laid in her litter box and I put a cloth under her head. I could feel how she appreciated that. What an amazing cat to be in such pain and still say "thank-you" in her own way. This is why I love her so.

And that picture is my beautiful Ziggy yes. In my signature pic Zeus is on the right and Zita is on the left, both under the angel pillow. They were always snuggled like that together.

take care

Jan.

[Zita'sMom]

My dear healing kitties, Zita and Ziggy

You are both such special healing souls - so and full of love and gratitude and innocence. You were both such wonderful healers and teachers to me and I am missing you so. If it is possible, please send me some of your powerful healing energy from spirit so that I may have strength. Please come to me in my dreams and let me know where you are and how you are doing. I love you and I miss you...

Jan.

Attached image(s)

 

[Zita'sMom]

I just want to move...

We bought this acreage as a haven for our pets in 06, and since then 3 cats have died young. Tiffany was killed by the neighbour's dog (who has since died of cancer), Zita went missing in the night (we thought a cougar...??), and now the unthinkable, Ziggy, shot. I don't know who could have done this, just have no idea.

Ziggy was filling that impossible void left by Zita. She was amazing - I would remark to my husband almost every day how lucky we were to find Ziggy - I'm sure she was related to Zeus and Zita in some way, the body language, the way she swallowed, the meow, the big purr. Zeus took to her and they were friends within days. She thought nothing of our 5 hyperactive herding dogs and was just grateful and happy - so happy!

I heard somewhere that the answer to losing those you love and the grief involved is to focus on new "people" to love. With Ziggy, it was absolutely true. My sadness now is that I think we really lucked out with Ziggy, and I wouldn't dare bring another cat home having lost so many in such a short time - I still can't believe that someone shot Ziggy, that never would have crossed my mind. But my heart says that maybe someday I do want to be able to care for and love a new affectionate sweet kitty - but it will never be like Zita, or Ziggy. I just think Ziggy was a sort of "meant to be" pet and came into our lives and acted as my helper cat. But it is too dangerous here to risk that again unless we move. I can't keep a cat inside here - there is just too much coming and going with all the dogs and my stepdaughter, foreign student etc - and besides that Zeus just yowls and yowls when he is inside and I know he wouldn't be happy with that. Unless I locked a cat in one room it wouldn't work, and I am pretty sure I'd be disappointed with any new cat now after what I've had. I can't afford to pay for another now anyway, still with the $1300 plus credit card bill from Ziggy's vet "care". Oh, how I wish I could go back to that moment and call another vet. How I wish I'd known the right questions to ask so the vet would have done what was necessary.

I just want Ziggy back, period, to the healthy, happy cat she was before she got shot. There is just no solving it though, I can't wrap my head around it. I feel extremely tired, and just can't function normally yet.

Last night I asked over and over for Ziggy and Zita to help me connect with where they are in the spirit world through dreams. I was part asleep and looked up and "saw" Ziggy laying next to the dog on the bed by my legs. But I didn't feel a sense of anything and she didn't show up in my dreams. My old Merlin did though - I was going on a nice nature walk with him. Count on Merlin for that - he shows up in my dreams frequently, faithful beyond the end... I have never had Zita show up in a dream, and I really would like some direct communication - sounds a bit obsessive, but I want answers like never before.

Venting, venting.

Jan.