My Dog Sonnet, difficulty dealing with loosing her Options

[Ruth]

Sonnet does look very happy and I know you made her happy as much as she did you.

Yes, this horrible feeling is a rollercoaster of emotions isn't it. You're thinking to yourself, hey I'm not doing so badly here, then suddenly you think something, you see or hear something and you're down again. Common sense tells me that the troughs won't be so deep in time, and they'll easier to scramble out of but it's hard to belive sometimes.

[sonnet]

I wento to the anglebluemist link posted by DJ on another post and it just made me cry and cry... I miss Sonnet soooooooo very much it's unbearable sometimes-like right now. I'm still crying
Sonnet

[Arnold]

Sonnet is so beautiful and has a great smile! She must have been a wonderful friend. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes you just have to let yourself cry and cry, I think. I know I do that on my way home from work because I have to try to hold it in all day long. (Not always successful at that). How can you not be sad when there was so much love between you?

[sonnet]

Sometimes it's hard to believe she's not here anymore. I also thought I heard her last night while I was trying to get to sleep. I thought I heard her breathing in the livingroom in her sleep.
Sonnet's mom

[DJ - Edgar, Jess...]

That will happen for a long, long time. I just thought I heard Jesse talking last night - for the first time in over a year... I almost cried until I realized "I can still remember his little meowing voice!!"

I am glad the link made you cry - we all need a good cry now and then to ease the pressure and allow us to heal

HUGS

[sonnet]

Thank you for not letting me think I'm crazy for hearing or seeing Sonnet. In fact, I still say good-bye to her when I leave for work and I see her standing there as she always did as I left.
Sonnet's mom

[gingerspal]

I "see" Ginger too--in the yard, on the porch--he used to hang on the screen and peek in the dining room from the porch. I "see" him there everyday and I guess I always will.

[Solasmom]

Dear Sonnet Mom,

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful picture. The gregarious smile! Who wouldn't want to come home to that each day?

Every day is different. It does feel like a 'cosmic bunny hop' at times, but I know we are all heading in the right direction.

You are so welcome here. These folks take you the way you are; happy or sad, and everyone lends an ear to listen.

I still see Solas out of the corner of my eye, so no, you're not going crazy.

All the best,
Ariel

[sonnet]

Today feels like it's going to go better so I'm just going to enjoy the reprieve. I really had trouble sleeping last night. Normally that's not a problem for me but it has been since Sonnet and I went to the vet for the last time. Are any of you also having trouble like that?
Sonnet's mom

[gingerspal]

sonnet's mom I slept fitfully for a week at first because Ginger was in the hospital and I kept going over what happened. Then when he died I often got up in the middle of the night to go cry downstairs and not wake up Dave. Then about week three I think I started sleeping better. Of course, things are a bit different for me because I do have an indoor kitty that I rely on for purring and petting. It would be a whole nother cup of tea without him.

[Ruth]

Sonnet's Mom - I'm afraid you're going to be rather envious of me. I'm one of the lucky ones that sleeps like a log when their days are an emotional turmoil. My mother has the same thing - maybe it's genetic! I don't so much sleep as pass out. It's as if my mind can't cope with any more thinking and just shuts down almost immediately. It's a strange thing, but I regularly recall my dreams, but even the dreams are either too painful to remember, or buried to deep to revisit.

I know I am extremely fortunate to be able to do this as it gives me a much needed reprieve from the pain and I do feel better in the morning. I'm sorry that you are having trouble sleeping. It's hard enough trying to cope with all this without being tired on top of it.

You're not crazy at all for seeing Sonnet. I thought I felt Duke jump onto my bed one night. I talk to my little lad, sometimes for ages and I like to say goodnight to him. It's something you did for years, so that's not going to change overnight. Some of the things we did are so instinctive that it hardly took any conscious thought to do them. For instance, every night the last thing I'd do was get three small treats from the cupboard for him. It was to let him know that it really was bedtime and after he'd ate them he'd usually follow me upstairs. Once or twice that instict has returned and I've almost headed towards the kitchen to get his treats.

Take care

[sonnet]

It's been 8 weeks ago yesterday when Sonnet left and I'm still having sleeping troubles-I wake up in the middle of the night wide awake for about 2 hours ever since. But I haven't been depressed since late last week so I suppose that's progress? Several steps forward perhaps?
Sonnet's mom

[gingerspal]

YEP! that is progress for sure!
I can see why you miss your sonnet so much--what a lovable character..her photo is perfect!

[sonnet]

Thank you! I think she was perfect too! She loved to play fetch and had me well trained to play fetch while doing something else at the same time. One of my friends called her an automatic toy return as she would catch the toy, bring it back for you to throw while she already started to run to catch it again and again and again...
I'm starting a memorial scrapbook of her to include her beginning obedience certificate and blue ribbon she won the last day which they held as an obedience show, her intermediate class certificate (no show at that class), her Canine Good Citizen certificate, Dog Camp stuff with all her awards she earned there and of course many pictures which I burned to CD's with pages of thumbnails so I'll know which pics are on each CD.
I'm even thinking about starting to look for a new doggie soon. I don't want to rush into things so I'm going to take my time and wait for that "connection" to happen.

Sonnet's mom

[gingerspal]

Sonnet's mom-- It is wonderful to read a post that has such positivity and hope! You are honoring your wonderful friend with all her tangible certificates and photos while also pondering the future. I like what one poster here wrote about how when a person has been specially touched by the life of one unique animal those are the eyes you see looking back at you when you look at your next pet. Not to say that you will try to replicate Sonnet--only that because you loved her and she loved you you will take that love and build upon it.
I wish a cat would just "show up" like my Ginger did...but I know even if that were to happen I could never have the same cir%%stances ever again. But my heart does have room in it.
Your post makes me smile!

Patti

[Ruth]

The scrapbook's a lovely idea.

Tell us about the Canine good citizenship and Dog Camp. I'm afraid I don't know what they are, but I'd like to hear about it. I'm imagining Dog Camp as a band of dogs sitting around a camp fire telling tall 'tails' late into the night before retiring to their tents. You'd better put me right!

I used to play fetch with my cat. He ran after the toy and I fetched it back. I got more excercise than he did. Did you have a special ball or toy that you can keep with the scrapbook?

[sonnet]

I'm glad I made you smile with my last post. Canine Good Citizen Award is from the American Kennel Club. Your dog has to pass 10 steps to get it. It shows your dog is a well behaved citizen and you can take them anywhere and know that if they passed this test, they'll be well behaved in public anywhere you go with them. It's an encouragemernt by the AKC to have dog owners train and work with their dogs to be well behaved. They have to pass things such as a timed sit-stay, a timed down-stay, they stay with a "friendly stranger" while you are out of their sight for 3 minutes without their freaking out, they must walk nicely on a loose leash, you can approach someone else walking with their dog and they don't get in a huff, you walk by and a sudden loud noise happens and they don't freak out, someone plays the "vet" to see they behave during a quick "vet" exam and 3 other things I can't remember right now.
As for dog camp they have to bring their person. It was a fundraiser for the San Bernardino Dog Search & Rescue team. They held activities like swimming, hiking, agility, flyball, dog first aid, etc. You participate with your dog. The staff for the camp was the Sheriffs' on the rescue team and they went to Ground Zero as well as Oklahoma after that guy bombed that building to help look for survivors/bodies so it was a great camp and a very worthy cause. We had campfire one night (it was a 3 day weekend in the mountains) and we did have smores but that was for the peole, and they had snacks for the dogs too. It was very fun and you got to be with others who really truly loved their dogs as family.

Sonnet's mom