Have You Ever Thought Of.., what goes on in their minds..? Options

[michelles kitty]

today being a down day for me. i had been thinking about both my girls alot. and what they must be thinking of me right now.
i had thoughts of things well more like questions..

what went thru their minds when i made the call to end their suffering?
did they hate me?
the time they were with me(seperate occasions) when they were pts
did it get dark all of a sudden for them?
were they like hey what the?
were they calling me in their minds..mom whats happening?
were they scared?
are they made at me?
are they together?
do they miss me? like i miss them?
my god why did i start to think of these things? what made me think?
vets say it isnt painful for them can they be sure? how do they know?
its the what ifs?
both my girls were in such terrible states one with pain from a ruptured spleen and the the other old age and asthma..so the choice to pts was there but one that was not taken lightly..but none the less these questions are there.. is this normal?
why am i having these questions all of a sudden..?