Going Home Options

[lovelost]

About 2 and a half months ago I decided to visit my parents, to have some peace and relaxation. Next week I will be returning home, where I lived with Kitty. It's like the grief is brand new.
I just keep imagining walking in the door and seeing her things there, her blankie and heating pad, her toys, her pictures, and worst of all her little wooden box.
I so wish so much that I could feel her presence there with me when I return, but I know that she will never be there again.
It's heart wrenching to know that when I get there I will be sad, but she won't be there to make me feel better.

[Shortrish]

I know it will be hard for you, coming home. But, you can find comfort here. Just write and let everyone know how you're feeling. That's what helps me get buy when I'm having a rough time of it. You will have your ups and downs, that's for sure, but, you don't have to be alone here. LS has a live chat area, but unfortunately not many people are aware of it. I know they are trying to post about it. Try going there, maybe someone will be there to chat "live" with. It is a great forum, hopefully, more people will find it. Take care, you are in my thoughts and prayers as is everyone here.

[michaelT]

Lovelost, These things take their own time, some more than others. But the only way to love again is to honor your grief and be with it. It won't kill you, it just feels like it will. It sounds like you were very close to Kitty. I know the feeling. I lost my favorite of four**** years, Steve, two weeks ago and it's been rough. We always seem to have a couple of cats and when something happens to one I'm always glad I have the others for support. If you don't it might be time to consider a new friend. Don't think the grief needs to be gone to choose companionship. That hole stays, it just gets smaller and less painful. But by allowing yourself to grieve, it keeps your heart open to a new love. good luck, michaelT

[lovelost]

Michael-
I would love nothing more than to have another kitty. I just don't think the time is right. Not only am I still recovering financially from the vet bills, my entire family is allergic to cats (me being the worst). Kitty was about 4 when I found out I was allergic, my mom wanted to get rid of her but I cried till she let me keep her. I know that there are breeds of cats that are less likely to cause allergies, and that's the way we'll probably go when we do get another cat. Unfortunately, it will probably cost more than I am willing to pay right now.
I know the feeling of the hole. It sometimes feels like the big black hole is right in front of me willing me to step in and hide from everything.
I think the rest of this week maybe won't be so bad since I will be so busy getting ready for the trip!

[Precious' mom]

Lovelost,
You will know when the time is right. I never expected to adopt a cat so soon after Precious died -- only one month and three days! -- but the connection with Patches was very strong and even though he wasn't a kitten (four years old), he is still a sweet cat. We clicked the moment I met him at his foster-mum's. I adopted him the next weekend.
Precious was like my right arm and when he died it felt like someone whacked it off at the shoulder! (We were together almost 19 years.) I kept saying "not another cat, too painful" at first but Patches was what I needed because not having a smiling, beautiful baby to meet me after a long day at work...and worse, sleeping with no cat on the pillow next to mine...was totally unbearable.
Patches is sleeping through the night now (I've had him almost five weeks) and he is so much like Precious was in temperament it's scary...but so comforting. I do hug and kiss Precious' urn day and night and yes he is still with me in many other ways (see other posts!), and that is a GREAT comfort too.
Just focus on healing right now. No other cat can replace Kitty, EVER. If you do decide to open up your heart, it will be an addition to the family. Kitty will still be Number One in everything!!
Lisa

[lovelost]

I think for me that the times I feel the worst is when I really miss having her to snuggle up with on the couch. I have to admit that I looked at some web sites for homeless kitties. Maybe I am ready emotionally. Financially is a whole other story though!