My Snowball... Options

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

She's sitting here on my lap...she's so sick she doesn't even know what's going on. My dad doesn't understand why I'm getting so upset over a dog that I have to put down on Monday. He never liked animals though...

My miniature poodle just had her 13th birthday last October....back then she was fine. Now she has a tumor in her throat that won't go away and the vet said by now we're just buying time for her...not saving her. I've decided that it's best for my wonderful puppy that she not starve to death and that I end her suffering before it begins....it's just so hard! I want to keep her...but her life would be miserable...my poor baby....I've had her since I was 6...this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do...just to think that tomorrow will be my last full day with her....it's so sad....

[AngelBaby]

If she isn't suffering maybe there is still a chance. I saw a site where someones pet had a throat or mouth tumor and it healed. Let me see if I can find it...

Here it is:
http://www.petmedicinechest.com/canine/cas...dies.asp#tumors

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

The vet has tried to make it go away...and it worked for a while..then i came back...I asked if he could take it out and he said yes, but there are other cancerous tumors in her stomach (she had breast cancer before and he spayed her and took the tumors out) he said by spaying her he slowed the return of the cancer, but not got rid of it....i'm just sick of putting my dog through tests and forcing her to eat....she just gets sicker....

[AngelBaby]

I'm sorry for what you and your baby are going through. I understand. I put my little toy poodle to sleep in the middle of the night on September 11th because of the sudden pain he was in. The x-rays were heartbreaking news. I didn't get to hug him in my arms. But he was laying on my soft pillow from home and I had my face close to his face telling him how much I love him. He didn't feel any pain at the last moment - he actually looked like he felt so much better. I'm glad I was with him. I held him for a long time afterwards. (And I took him home with me.)

It sounds like you have tried everything you could and want what's best for your baby. You know best what she needs. She certainly knows how much you love her and I'm sure that she has complete faith in you to protect her from suffering. She will trust your decision.

[pamurchu]

I came to this site tonight to see if any of my new cyberfriends were suffering through the new year with pets that were ill or dying and I found your post. First of all, I am so sorry for what you are going through and what the next few days hold for you. Hold tight to your best friend, then let go and realize that we cannot control everything. We always want to make everything better, and sometimes we cannot. Whatever your decision is on Monday, be sure that you have done everything you can do. God bless, and please come back and tell us more about your furry friend. Take care...

PS I just reread your post and I am crying with you right now...so sorry.

And Angelbaby--so sorry for your loss as well. I guess the New Year just has me all emotional, missing my own little girl, Bailey.

[Kim R.]

Puppy girl,
I was just reading through this thread, and my heart breaks for you. I didn't want you to think that the others here don't think you have done enough for your baby. See, we have already done the deed, there is no second chances for us. We all have so many regrets, and want you to spare yourself from any what if's or should've/could've thoughts that you can. For instance, I found out about accupuncture in the last months of my Sasha's life, and at 16 years old,with her condition, the vet said it would only prolong her suffering to try all that 'hokey pokey' stuff as he called it. I have since read some people post about it and say that it has helped their babies to some degree, and although they had different conditions, and I'm sure in my heart that it wouldn't have changed things for my girl, that regret of 'I should've at least tried it' just kills me. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Just know that the words above can be interpreted many ways, but I assure you the words were delivered with great love and concern for your heart in the days that will follow your babies journey to the bridge.
Your friend in grief,
Kim
P.s.- You know your baby better than anyone, so you follow your heart. The decision you make will no doubt be the best one.

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

Does it hurt when the vet puts them down? I'm afraid it will hurt her, then she'll cry and that'll be my last memory of her. I'm not taking her home...I can't...I can't bury her in my backyard...cause if we move, then I'll always know she's there and I can't have her again. It's better for me to think that she's all around me ya know? she's sitting here right now....I think she knows. She's clinging to me alot these days. I'm glad she'll be happier and not sick anymore...I just wish there was another pet to greet me when I come home from the vet. My dad refuses to get another dog cause he'd have to take care of it while I'm away at school. She'll be in a better place...and I'm one of those who believes animals have souls. Why would God let you love something so much on earth, than take it for good?

[AngelBaby]

Snowballs mom:

Is snowballini a nickname for Snowball? Your little girl must be a white poodle. Mine too. They are the sweetest things. I just ordered a glass heart shaped locket that is due to arrive on Wednesday. I am going to put my little poodles curl in the locket so I can wear it close to me. Make sure you have lots of pictures of her in your arms. If Monday comes along and you are not sure what to do - and she is comfortable in your arms - it's ok to cancel the appointment and keep her longer. Don't let anyone rush you. School and work can wait....

[AngelBaby]

I wish your Dad were more supportive. That only makes it more difficult for you. Wish I could talk to him.

Bless cute little Snowball. Such an angel. Please, I know it will be hard for you, but stay with her and don't let her be alone at the vet. Bring her favorite blanket. That's really important. I know a few people who regret now not being there for their babies... and again, don't let anyone rush you. If you're not ready tell them, "We're not ready. We're still saying goodbye."

Be at peace little Snowballini. Feel your mommy's love for you and when it's time, fall asleep in her arms. When you wake up you'll be in the arms of the angels.

Also, Snowball's mommy, when she is asleep you can hold her for an hour or more. There's no time limit. Again, don't let anyone rush you. Tell your Dad ahead of time. You need this time with her. It will be really important to you later on and you will wish you had stayed longer. Her spirit will be close by. Hold her and love her.

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

I just don't want to put her through starving to death...she just sits by her food bowl and looks at it...poor baby. I've cried about it so much this week that I've almost accepted it. My friend, she's on this board actually, Noriko, said that she'd come down from her house and stay with me and go shopping with me to keep my mind off of it. Noriko is the girl that had to put her cat Midnight down and she's being a great friend by coming.

[Kim R.]

If your little girl is showing obvious signs of discomfort (whining near the food bowl because she can not eat) then you are doing the right thing by releasing her from her pain. I don't want to conflict with others replies, but I know that when it is time to let them go, sometimes we need others to tell us that is okay. Your Snowball has been your friend for a very long time, and you know her better than anyone. If you feel like she is unhappy, then you should let her go gently to the bridge.
I was a vet tech for 6 years (now I'm a stay at home mom), and I have seen many babies take their journey to the bridge. It is absolutely painless, only the prick of the needle, which most never even acknowledge. I personally would recommend (and did for my own baby) having your baby sedated first, only because they can sometimes sense our emotions, and that can sometimes make them nervous. I would say to you to stay with her and hold her as she goes. It is so calming to them. If you are there holding them, they can trust that what is happenning is okay, and feel secure. Plus, most people who stay with their animals are given a sense of peace when they see how quickly and quietly their babies fall asleep...most don't even know that they are gone because it is so fast. I think the greatest injustice we can do to our faithful friends is to cause them undue sufferring due to our selfish inability to let them go.
I also know that you don't want to bring your baby home and bury her out of fear of one day leaving her there. I highly recommend cremation. It would be rather inexpensive for a dog her size, and you could keep her with you always. I'm so very glad I made this decision for my baby. I even wear some of her ashes in a necklace at all times, so she is always with me. Just some things to think about...
Kim
P.S. Please know that if you decide that it is Snowball's time to go, you have my support. If you ever want to talk about it privately, feel free to PM me.

[pamurchu]

Puppy girl, It is Monday morning and I just wanted to let you know that loving thoughts and prayers are coming your way at this moment. Take care...

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

Thanks guys...I'm going to the vet when Noriko gets here...I don't even know what to feel...

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

I did it...the vet let me hold her while he did it and she just went limp and I started bawling when I realized that she was gone...but it didn't really hit me until I got home and no one ran to the door to greet me. On top of all this, I'm sick and Snowball always sat with me when I was sick...and now there's no one...I feel guilty like I could have done more even though I tried everything the vet told me to do...and I feel like I've killed my best friend...I know I didn't....I miss her so much...I'm so lonely now...

[pamurchu]

I came back here before I went to bed to check on you. I am sincerely grieving for your loss of Snowball. Please be assured that you were a loving and kind parent who took Snowball's pain away and made it your own. You had the courage to do what in your heart you know was right. It doesn't make the pain go away, that's for sure. Time will help you deal with that. Right now you need to take care of yourself and do things to make yourself healthy and whole again. Please try to take some comfort in the fact that others are thinking of you and sending loving wishes your way. Once again--so sorry...

[Noriko]

She's sitting here on my lap...she's so sick she doesn't even know what's going on. My dad doesn't understand why I'm getting so upset over a dog that I have to put down on Monday. He never liked animals though...

My miniature poodle just had her 13th birthday last October....back then she was fine. Now she has a tumor in her throat that won't go away and the vet said by now we're just buying time for her...not saving her. I've decided that it's best for my wonderful puppy that she not starve to death and that I end her suffering before it begins....it's just so hard! I want to keep her...but her life would be miserable...my poor baby....I've had her since I was 6...this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do...just to think that tomorrow will be my last full day with her....it's so sad....  

I'm glad I was there with you guys. It was so sad, but Snowball is in such a better place and she's playing with my Midnight!
You were there for me when Midnight died, so just know I'm here for you when you need to talk.

And soon you'll have "little black boy" or whatever your marine boyfriend wants to name it...
I luv you Heather!!!!!

-Keely

[Puppy_girl_snowb...]

tsk....boys... ^^ Today is much better..even though I looked for her for like..10 minutes when I got home, I didn't cry when I realized that she wasn't there. Our vet even sent us a nice sympathy card today...it's getting easier...